It would mean that the loving bonds they still had with their son would remain unbroken because his favourite uncle, who was someone else that Jamie had loved and who had loved him, would be close by for him and for them when either together or apart they brought the white roses of remembrance.
CHAPTER NINE
TO BEN’S relief Georgina was still asleep when he arrived back at the cottage. He didn’t want her to know anything about the house until the baby was born. That way she wouldn’t feel that he was forcing the issue of their future relationship in any way.
He didn’t know if she was aware that The Meadows was for sale, or even if she knew there was such a place. But she would one day soon and he would be able to tell from her reaction whether he’d made a big mistake in buying one of the most attractive houses in the neighbourhood.
He’d asked the estate agent not to reveal any details of his purchase to anyone, especially his ex-wife, and so far it was all going to plan. Surveys had been satisfactory and he’d got a completion date for the first of May.
He wasn’t to know that she hadn’t been asleep all the time he’d been absent. She’d heard his door close down below when he was setting off, and had gone to the window and watched him walk down the lane with his familiar purposeful stride, thinking how much she loved him still.
She’d presumed he’d gone to buy a morning paper, so had gone back to bed and dozed off again, but when eventually she surfaced he was puttering around the garden. When she’d showered and dressed, she went down and asked Ben where he’d been. For a moment he looked taken aback. Then he rallied and said he’d been for a walk, which was easy enough to believe on a bright April morning.
Once a month there was a farmers’ market in the village hall that was always well attended by local people and others from outlying areas, eager to buy fresh free-range eggs, farmhouse cheeses, and bacon and hams from the pig farms, to name just a few of the wholesome foods on display.
There was also a café at the back of the hall where the husband-and-wife team from the Hollyhocks served snack meals. Altogether it was an occasion not to be missed.
As she was finishing a leisurely breakfast, Ben appeared and suggested that they walk to Willow Lake for exercise, which Georgina thought was odd as he’d already been out doing that same thing. But the suggestion was appealing and when they arrived, they found that the trees from which it had got its name were now bedecked with the new growth that spring brought as they hung over its still waters.
As she looked around her Georgina was remembering Anna and Glenn, now far away in Africa, and how he had proposed to her at this very spot. Would there be a second time round for her and Ben? she wondered. And if there was, would it be for the right reasons?
He was observing her questioningly and, putting to one side wistful thoughts, she said, ‘How about we go to do a big shop? There is a farmers’ market in the village hall today, the first one since you arrived in Willowmere. When you see what is on sale you’ll understand what I mean by a “big shop”.’
He was smiling, ‘Lead on, then, and surprise me still further with your country customs.’
With a sudden drop in spirits Georgina thought that they were on each other’s wavelength in all but one thing…they didn’t sleep in the same bed.
There were so many times in the night when the child inside her moved and she longed for Ben to be there to share the special moment of tenderness and joy, but she thought sombrely it would be breaking the rules that they seemed to be living by. He seemed contented enough in his role of onlooker, which made her think all the more that he’d given up on them making their wedding vows for a second time.
As they moved from stall to stall, with Ben carrying their purchases in a large hessian bag that Georgina had brought with her, they were stopped frequently by patients and friends that she’d made during her years in Willowmere. All of them were ready to welcome Ben into their midst, in spite of the curiosity of some who would have liked to know where Dr Adams had been hiding the man by her side.
As they were turning into Partridge Lane on the way home, a luxurious car passed them with a chauffeur at the wheel, and the man on the backseat smiled and waved.
‘Who was that? Ben exclaimed.
‘Lord Derringham,’ she told him laughingly. ‘He owns an estate up on the tops. Dennis Quarmby is his gamekeeper.’
‘I wouldn’t expect that you see him at the surgery very often,’ he commented dryly.
‘No. He has private medical care, but I was called out to his wife a few times last year when she was pregnant and was having some problems. He’s a decent sort and well liked amongst those who live in the area. Needless to say, he has a very impressive residence that puts every other house for miles around in the shade.’
The comment brought The Meadows to mind and he wondered what she would think when she saw it. There had been a tricky moment earlier when one of the stall-holders had asked Georgina if she was aware that it had been sold and she’d enquired without much show of interest if the farmer’s wife knew who’d bought it.
‘No, I don’t,’ had been the reply, ‘but there’s a rumour going around that it isn’t anyone local, and everyone thinks it’s a shame.’
On Monday evening Ben came knocking on her door. ‘I answered the phone to David Tremayne this morning. He wanted to speak to James, and he and I had a brief conversation. He’s still keen to join the practice and is hoping that there will be some definite news on his appointment soon.’
‘James and Elaine were discussing it this morning,’ she told him. ‘It would seem that it’s all going ahead satisfactorily, but I can understand that he’s anxious to get things sorted.’
‘Which makes two of us,’ he commented with an edge to his voice.
‘What do you mean?’ she asked, startled by his tone.
‘I would have thought it was obvious. His coming means you can take as long as you want away from the surgery after the birth, but so far your plans, if you have any, seem to be a closely guarded secret.’
‘You make it sound so simple,’ she said heatedly. ‘But it isn’t and well you know it!’ Before she could say anything she might regret, she grabbed a jacket off the hall stand and marched off down the drive.
He groaned as he watched her go. It was unforgivable to take out his irritations on Georgina, but he was keen to know what direction their relationship was going in. So far a blissful reconciliation seemed as remote as the silver moon that had appeared on the heels of a glorious sunset.
Until tonight he’d been determined that there would be no persuasion from him. Georgina had to be sure that she really wanted him if they ever got back together, that it wasn’t because of the baby but because she still loved him. And so what had he done? Tackled her about it in a manner that had sounded more like bullying than concern.
The only thing to do was to go and find her, bring her home and apologise, even though what she’d said before she’d rushed off had made him feel that he was still not forgiven.
When he went out into the lane, there was no sign of her, and he hesitated. The lake wasn’t far away, had she gone there to calm down? He hoped not. It could be unsafe out there in the dark, and suppose she started labour while she was alone?
He was moving in that direction with a fast stride even as he thought it, but there was no one there when he arrived, just the lake and the trees bowing over it.
The village centre was just the opposite when he got there, with the Pheasant as the focal point. It was a mild night and the tables outside were fully occupied. From the buzz of noise issuing from inside it seemed as if it was the same in both parts, but Georgina wasn’t amongst the throng.
Gillian Jarvis, the new nurse at the practice, was there with her husband, and when she saw him in the doorway, she came across and asked if he was looking for Georgina. ‘We saw her going into the surgery as we drove past,’ she said.
With a brief word of thanks, Ben turned on his heel a
nd set off in the direction of the limestone building beside the village green and, sure enough, the lights were on inside when he got there.
He called out as he went in so as not to alarm her and found her sitting in the swivel chair behind her desk, staring into space. She turned at his approach and observed him unsmilingly. Reaching out, he took her hand and lifted her carefully to her feet. When they were facing each other he said gently, ‘I’m sorry I took my bad temper out on you, of all people, Georgina.’
The dark hazel eyes looking into his were mirroring the pain inside her as she told him, ‘I behaved no better, Ben. I’m sorry, too. Let’s go home.’
‘Yes, let’s,’ he agreed, wanting to hold her close and tell her how much he loved her, yet wary of doing so in case it pushed their relationship further back than it was already.
As they walked the short distance home Georgina said regretfully, ‘Have you eaten since you came home from the surgery?’
He shrugged. ‘You know me—first things first. I had something on the stove but left it to tell you about David Tremayne. I was keen to see your reaction.’
‘You turned the hotplate off, I hope?’ she said, as she thought that he’d certainly got her reaction, and it hadn’t gone down too well. Her face softened. It hadn’t stopped him from coming to look for her, though.
They separated at her door. Ben returned to his cooking and Georgina sat gazing into space as the future that was so hazy didn’t become any cleaner.
It was there again, the feeling deep down inside her that, though Ben was thoughtful and caring, it was the baby who held his heartstrings, and could she blame him if that was the case after what they’d lost that day in the park?
She went upstairs to bed as the light was fading and willed herself to blot out everything except the child that was moving inside her. Soon her doubts and dilemmas were submerged in sleep.
Next door, Ben was also deep in thought and he wished they were happier issues that crowded his mind. These should be joyful days for them both, he told himself. Full of excitement and anticipation. If they had a normal relationship, they would be, but neither of them were prepared to make the first move because they didn’t want to be hurt again.
It was Friday evening at the end of a week that had passed slowly and uneventfully for the two doctors. They’d each had their evening meal and were seated in the small gardens at the back of the cottages, watching the sun set. When Ben looked across at her, Georgina was staring straight ahead as if she was seeing something that he couldn’t see, and out of the blue she said, ‘It could be some time before we’re able to visit the grave once the baby arrives. Let’s go tomorrow.’
Ben was frowning. ‘I don’t think so. It’s a long drive for you in your present state. Why don’t I go on my own?’
She was shaking her head emphatically. ‘No, I have to go. Something is telling me that I must.’
‘What do you mean?’ he said slowly. ‘Do you feel that the baby might be early so you don’t want to leave it any later? If that’s the case, it could be risky. I’m quite capable of delivering my own child, but I’m not too keen on having to do it on the motorway or in some other most unsuitable surroundings.’
‘I have to go,’ she insisted.
He sighed. ‘What has brought this on? If it means so much, yes, we’ll go. We can pick up the flowers on the way. But I don’t understand the sudden urgency.’
She was calming down now that he’d agreed and said in a placatory manner, ‘The next time we go Jamie will have a new sister or brother. On this occasion I want it to be just the two of us…and him.’
‘Fair enough, but I insist we go to the house while we’re there so that you can have a rest before we set off back.’
She didn’t reply and he knew she was remembering the last time they’d both been there. How it had set off an incredible chain of events that would soon be bearing fruit in the gift of another child, and he still didn’t know if that would be the limit of it.
A far as he was concerned, her suggestion had come out of nowhere. He’d been taking it for granted that they would be staying close to base during the last days before the birth and suddenly they were embarking upon a long and tiring journey. It was a fact that pregnant women sometimes behaved out of character due to hormone changes and he supposed that today’s sudden urgency fell into that category.
He wasn’t to know that for Georgina there were no such misgivings. There had just been an overwhelming urge in her to do what she’d been doing for all the years she’d been apart from Ben. Yet she didn’t blame him if he was upset at the way she was making light of his anxieties on behalf of the baby and herself.
They were up early the next morning and while Ben was at the local garage, filling up the tank with petrol, Georgina checked her blood pressure. It was steady, with no increase to concern herself about, and she breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that if it had been up, Ben would have dug his heels in and refused to go, and it would have been common sense to agree.
As if he’d read her mind his first words when he came back were concerning it, and when she’d reassured him, he looked happier about what they were doing, though still unsure of the wisdom of it.
The miles were speeding past and all the time Georgina sat quietly in the passenger seat, speaking only rarely, but each time he looked at her she had a smile for him, and Ben thought that it was going to be the first time they’d visited the grave together, except for the day when he’d found her there and both their lives had changed for ever. Maybe her tranquillity was a way of telling him that it was going to all come right for them?
They’d stopped off in the town to buy the white roses before going onto the motorway and had recently stopped again for an early lunch before they hit the London traffic. As the capital city drew nearer Georgina could feel a strange kind of peace stealing over her. As if all the anxieties and frustrations of past weeks and years were leaving her. She’d seen it in the sunset, the promise of happiness, yet didn’t understand how the sad thing they had come all this way for could bring that about.
They’d held hands as they’d placed the flowers on the white marble, united for the first time in a bond of love for their son from which grief had been wiped away, and when they’d said their goodbyes to him and walked back to the car they’d still been holding hands as if neither of them wanted to let go.
When Ben had suggested that they go to the house so that she might rest for a while, Georgina had agreed without hesitation, and this time she hadn’t slumped into his arms, caught up in the in the trauma of a painful return to the place that had once been her home.
Instead, she’d walked around the familiar rooms before letting Ben tuck her up on the sofa for an hour, and as he’d watched over her his thoughts had gone to Nicholas who would soon be living there with maybe children of his own one day.
Whether he and Georgina would ever live together in The Meadows was another matter, but for the moment he was going to put those thoughts to one side.
When it was time to leave, he asked, ‘Are you content now that you’ve been to the cemetery?’
‘Yes,’ she told him gravely. ‘Today it was how it should be for him, the two of us together. The longing to be here came over me suddenly and everything else seemed far away. The birth being so near, the thought of visiting the house again, the long drive, all seemed blurred. All I wanted was come to where we were once so happy.’
‘And do you think we will ever be that happy again?’ he asked as he helped her into the car.
‘Maybe not,’ she said softly, still with peace upon her. ‘How it was before could be a hard act to follow, but today we’ve made a move in the right direction, haven’t we?’ And as the car pulled out of the square she closed her eyes and slept.
She woke up when Ben pulled in at a service stop on the motorway not far from home, and as she observed him questioningly he said, ‘I think I might have a flat tyre. Do you want to stretch your legs and have a wa
nder around inside? I’ll come and join you as soon as I’ve changed it.’
Georgina nodded. ‘Yes, I’m stiff all over. I’ll wait for you outside the restaurant. We may as well eat here to save cooking when we get back.’ And left him to sort out the tyre.
It was a big place. There were shops of various kinds along the passage that led to the restaurant on the first floor and, considering the time of day, there weren’t many people about.
After pottering around for a while she lowered herself onto the seating outside a toy shop next to the restaurant and positioned herself where she could see Ben when he came in at the main entrance below.
As she glanced around her she saw a young family approaching. Mother, father, with a small boy of a similar age and colouring to how Jamie had been and just as fast in his movements. He was running on in front, watched dotingly by his parents, and as she smiled at him he stopped abruptly beside her.
When Georgina glanced to see what had caught his attention, she saw that it was the wooden display case next to where she was sitting. Inside it were some of the toys sold in the shop.
It was glass fronted and locked and after hesitating for a moment, the boy reached out and pulled at the handle to get to the toys. As he did so, the whole thing began to topple towards him.
She heard his mother scream and his father’s footsteps pounding on the tiled floor as she heaved herself towards him and dragged him out of the way. And then there was nothing but pain and darkness.
Ben was smiling as he came through the main door. They would be home safe and sound in minutes. There had been no need for him to fuss like he had. It had been a wonderful day with those special tranquil moments with their son followed by that quiet time in the home they’d once shared, and all the time he’d been able to feel Georgina’s contentment around him in unspoken promises.
A Baby for the Village Doctor Page 13
