by Sara Dailey
I watched knowing that this was it, that this was the last time I would ever see him. There was no way he would ever be able to accept this, much less forgive me for hurting him. I hugged his blanket tighter around me as the string of questions began again to fly out of his mouth. “What’s the deal with full moons? Do you live longer than humans? Wait…are you immortal, or can you be killed? What about the whole silver bullet thing? Tell me that’s just bullshit, right?”
I froze as the questions stopped and Paul stood over me waiting for me to say something. I tried but couldn’t even remember the last question he’d asked. My entire body began to shake as my eyes once again filled with tears. I couldn’t do this. I buried my face in the blanket and waited for him to tell me to leave.
Paul sat back down and pulled me to him. I laid my head on his chest, and he wiped my hair out of my face with his hand. “Look at me,” he whispered. “Baby, look at me.”
When I lifted my eyes, he smiled through his own tears. I reached over and wiped a tear from his cheek. He leaned into my touch.
“I promise to answer all of your questions if you give me the chance. I’m so sorry about everything. I messed everything up. I just—”
“Stop,” he cut in. “I don’t care what you are. I don’t care that you’re a…a werewolf, which, don’t get me wrong, is absolutely mind-blowing, completely insane, but I don’t care. I love you.”
“But Paul—”
My words were silenced by the sweetest of kisses.
“Paul, I’m not—”
His lips returned to cut off my words again. He trailed little kisses up to my forehead and down my cheeks until he re-found my lips. This time, his kiss was heated and carried with it the salty taste of our tears.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him closer. I was overwhelmed by the velvety softness of his mouth as he took his time exploring mine. His hands traveled slowly down my back, taking the comforter down with them. I shivered as the cool air touched my overheated skin, and that familiar ache that only Paul could generate was back tenfold. I wanted him. I needed to have him closer, and when his hand skimmed down the side of my breast, my body felt absolutely explosive.
Paul’s hands worked their way back up to my face, and he pulled me close for another firm, demanding kiss. He looked at me, asking with his eyes. I smiled and leaned over to whisper in his ear, “A million times, yes.”
He lifted me off his lap and gently placed me beside him before he stood and reached to help me up. When I stood, the blanket dropped to the floor, and I smiled as Paul’s eyes widened at the sight of me standing completely naked before him. He closed the distance between us, and before I knew it he lifted me into his arms and laid me back on his bed.
Chapter 15
My cheek rested against Paul’s bare chest. I stared at the clock on his bedside table as I listened to his pulse return to normal. I had no idea what lay ahead, but I knew I had to get home soon before my mother rounded up a search party to locate her “missing” daughter.
I needed to go, but couldn’t convince my limbs to move.
Paul kissed the top of my head and let out a sigh. “So, what now? What happens next?”
That was one of the many questions that I had absolutely no answer for. How could I ever go back to my life at the estate now? My voice shook as I answered honestly, “I don’t know.”
We lay there in silence for a long time. As I watched the numbers change on the clock, I listened to his heartbeat. The stillness of the room was unsettling, but I didn’t have any answers to give him.
“Move to Austin with me. We can start over there, together. Just you and me. We can pack up and leave everything behind.”
I lifted my heavy head and looked into his eyes. They were so full of hope that it caused my insides to stir. “You’re crazy, you know that? You can’t be serious.”
He raised his eyebrows and said, “I’ve never been more serious about anything in my entire life. I mean it, Lillian. Let’s just go. I’ve been saving every penny I’ve earned for months. We can get an apartment together and start a new life. You don’t ever have to go back.”
Holding the sheet against my body, I sat up. Keeping my back to him I answered, “Just leave? I can’t just take off.” Did he realize what he was asking me? Give up everything and everyone I ever knew?
He ran his fingers down my back before he spoke again. “Would you rather stay here and marry a man you don’t love? Because that’s what will happen if you stay. Life is too short to not take a few chances. Take a chance on us, and I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you won’t regret it.”
I felt him sit up, but I continued to stare at the wall in front of me. Paul placed his hand on my shoulder and gently pulled backward, guiding my body so that I would turn and face him. The hopefulness in his eyes had faded, so I found it hard to look at him.
Thoughts whirled in my brain. New thoughts. He wasn’t just saying this. He wanted me to go with him. I could tell. And just the thought that I could really be with Paul was so incredible…but I truly would be giving up everything I’ve ever known. I didn’t understand how I could feel so excited about the idea of something and so terrified at the same time.
Paul tucked my hair behind my ear and asked, “Do you love me, Lillian? I mean, really love me?”
There was only one answer to that question, an answer I was more than certain of now. “Yes, I love you. I love you so much it scares me.”
He cupped my face in his hands. “It scares the hell out of me too, but I love you more than words can say. And yes, it’s crazy. I don’t know how I can feel this way so soon, but I do. Crazy or not, I love you. Let’s be crazy together. Let’s leave this place behind. Come to Austin and be with me.”
Suddenly it all became very clear. There was only one choice to make. It wasn’t between Paul or Marcus. I was choosing me. I was choosing my one and only shot at ever being truly happy. Paul was everything for me. He was the one. So, crazy or not, I nodded my head.
“Okay, let’s do it. Me and you.”
He gathered me in his arms and pulled me on top of him. As his lips covered mine, I knew deep down that I’d made the best decision I could make. Right or wrong, no matter the consequences, I no longer belonged to the Red Ridge pack, or my parents, or Marcus Walker. I’d finally found where I truly belonged, and it was in the arms of Paul Wright.
Chapter 16
I could hardly fathom how much my life changed since the summer began. I had never even traveled outside of New Mexico, and in three short days I planned on hopping in a car and moving to Austin with Paul. That was the best part. I’d be with Paul, the man I loved, not here with Marcus, the guy I’d grown to despise. A strange but happy kind of nervousness filled my soul every time I thought about leaving the only home I’d ever known. Somehow I was simultaneously scared to death and completely exhilarated about leaving it all behind and starting over somewhere new, without my family, without my pack, without any kind of safety net at all. But I knew in my heart that Paul and I would make it because we had each other.
The only thing I had to do was avoid my parents and Marcus for the next seventy-two hours…which proved to be impossible because I was asked to join the Walkers for dinner at their house the very next evening. I thought about politely refusing, claiming that I had some pressing matter to attend, but of course Mother jumped in and accepted the invitation for me.
While I was in my room getting ready for the “big dinner,” Mom came in without knocking.
“Is that what you’re wearing?” she asked as she eyeballed the outfit I’d lain out on my bed. When I nodded she said, “Good. That skirt always looks nice on you.”
I was sitting at my vanity finishing my makeup, and she walked up behind me. She placed her hands on my shoulders and looked at me through the mirror. “Did you take care of that little issue we discussed the other night? I’m assuming that’s where you ran off to.”
I set my mascar
a down and wiggled out from under her touch. “Yes. I did,” I lied. Needing to put some distance between us, I stood and walked to the other side of the bed.
Mom smiled. “That’s my girl. Now you need to make sure that Marcus knows that you are completely committed to him. You are completely committed to this marriage now, aren’t you?”
Tomorrow night could not come soon enough. It was difficult to admit, even if it was just to myself, but I really didn’t think that I was going to miss her.
“Yes, Mother,” I stated flatly, showing no emotion whatsoever. I really didn’t need to irritate her right now, but I couldn’t help myself.
She got that cold, harsh look on her face that she reserved for times when she was really pissed. I readied myself for her wrath, but she completely threw me for a loop by leaning over, picking up a tube off the vanity and tossing it to me. With a glare that spoke volumes she spat, “You need more lip gloss, dear.” Then she walked out of the room.
Dinner at the Walkers’ wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, just a lot of pointless wedding talk. If everything went as planned, by August Paul and I would be happily settled in Texas and my time here would be a distant memory.
Mrs. Walker gushed when I agreed to wear her wedding gown. Why not? No need to say no when it was never going to happen anyway.
In no time, the evening came to an end and Marcus asked if I wanted him to walk me home.
“No, it’s fine. I’m sure you’re busy with pack business,” I told him, sounding surprisingly accommodating, which must have caught him off guard. Was that disappointment in his eyes? I guessed he was the one who needed to get used to disappointment now!
“Are you sure?” he asked, clearly taken aback.
I walked over and gave him a friendly little hug. He leaned in to give me our typical goodbye kiss, but I turned my head and offered my cheek instead. My lips belonged to someone else, and I didn’t care if I was still technically Marcus’s fiancée, I wouldn’t cheat on Paul. Leaving Marcus befuddled, I walked out of his house all alone.
Mom had already retired to her room by the time I got home, but Dad was still up watching SportsCenter. Seeing him, the big bad pack enforcer looking so serene in his easy chair, brought an ache right to the core of my chest. He was the one person that I was truly going to miss. I would miss him with every fiber of my being.
I walked over and lounged back on the arm of his chair.
“How was dinner?” he asked, smiling like he already knew the answer.
I made a face at him, and he chuckled. I was going to miss that sound too. I sat there with my dad, thinking of all the things that he was going to miss. One day I really would get married, and he wouldn’t be there to walk me down the aisle. One day I would have kids, and they wouldn’t get to know their grandpa. They couldn’t. Once I left here, I’d have to cover my tracks. I’d be gone for good. I’d forever be an outsider, and the thought of never seeing Dad again was heart-wrenching.
I leaned over and gave him a big hug.
“What was that for?” he asked.
I got up and stood next to his chair. “I love you, Dad.”
He smiled. “I love you too, baby girl. Go get some sleep.”
*****
The next day, when my parents were out shopping, I began to pack. I pulled out an old duffle bag and started filling it with necessities. Once it was full, I carried it downstairs and placed it in the trunk of my car. On the way back to my room, I grabbed a couple of sheets of paper and a pen from my dad’s office. I wasn’t going to be able to tell anyone why I was leaving or where I was going, but the least I could do was give them as much of an explanation as I could.
After packing another tote full of my things, I sat down to write my letters.
I wrote the first to Marcus. I simply told him that I could not marry him because I didn’t love him, and because my heart belonged to another. I ended the short scrawl with, I wish you and Noel all the best. If you love her, marry her and never look back. Do something for yourself for once and find the happiness that you deserve. I actually meant it.
The second letter was more difficult to write:
Dear Mom & Dad,
I’m sorry to leave this way, but you gave me no choice. I will not marry a man I don’t love. Don’t worry about Marcus, he will be fine with Noel. He has been for a while now. I met a wonderful man who loves me and accepts me for who I am. All of me. He is brilliant and talented, and I’m sure if the situation were different you would both love him. I do. I love him more than I can say, and he loves me just as much. And I deserve to be loved. Please understand that I’m not running away to be with him. I’m leaving because, after loving him, I could never be the daughter you expect. I’m doing this for me. Please don’t try to find me. I will contact you when the time is right. For now, I need you to let me go. You will always be in my thoughts. May the pack flourish and be safe without me.
All my love,
Lily
I couldn’t face my parents, so I spent the remainder of the evening in my room. After sitting in my chair, staring at the clock while my legs shook with anticipation and nerves, it was finally time. I picked up my tote bag and the two letters and quietly walked downstairs. I placed the letters on the table by the front door and picked up my purse and my keys. With my hand on the doorknob, I took a moment to look around at the only home I had ever lived in. Then I left.
I drove quickly to the main road, but every few seconds I glanced into the rearview mirror to make sure I wasn’t being followed. It wasn’t until I’d crossed the estate’s property line that I could actually breathe again. I’d made it out and no one was after me.
When I saw Paul’s Camaro parked a little way down the road, I let out a sigh of relief and smiled. I pulled my car over onto the side of the road where my parents would be able to find it easily and grabbed my bags from the trunk.
Paul saw me running toward him with my bags slung hastily over my shoulders, and he hurried to meet me. I could feel my face flush as he lifted me off the ground and swung me around, bags and all.
“Paul, we have to hurry,” I said, worried that someone would see us.
“I don’t care. I want to see your face. This is the beginning of our lives together. I want to remember exactly what you looked like right now, in this moment,” he said.
I couldn’t help myself; I dropped my bags and threw my arms around him. As our lips met, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that this man would be forever mine.
Two minutes later, the estate and my life there was just a speck in the rearview mirror.
Chapter 17
I rolled out of bed extra early and dragged myself into the little restroom of our tiny, 490 square-foot apartment. It was kind of like living in an air-conditioned, two-car garage with a bathroom attached, but I couldn’t care less about the size. Yes, it was small, but I liked to think of it as cozy, and it was what we could afford. I absolutely loved it. It was perfect. It felt like home, a place that I could just be me.
In hindsight, maybe the real reason I clung so desperately to my relationship with Marcus for as long as I did, why I’d tried so hard to be the perfect daughter of the enforcer, was because I’d never felt like I was really the person everyone expected me to be. I’d always felt so out of place, like I was never truly part of the pack. Now I knew what it meant to truly be me, how it felt to have someone truly love me. All of me. I’d never been happier.
In only three short weeks, Paul and I had started a new life here in Austin, Texas. In addition to his gig that would start soon, he landed a job at a local record store called Tracks, and within a few days of arriving I found a job at a cute little indie bookstore. On my next day off I planned on heading over to Austin Community College to get some information on registration and school loans, but before I could do that I needed to make sure it was safe to use my real name.
I had to wait for the right moment. There was only one person I’d ever really trusted in our pa
ck. He’d always said that he wanted the best for me, and all I could do was hope he truly meant it.
When I knew that Dad would be the only one home, I made the call from a payphone down the street.
“Hello,” he answered, and I froze. Unexpected tears sprang into my eyes the moment I heard his familiar, deep voice. “Hello? Who is this?” he demanded.
I tried to speak, but the words just wouldn’t come.
“Lily, baby? Is that you?” His voice automatically shifted from that of our pack enforcer to that of the loving father I’d grown up adoring.
“Hi, Dad,” I answered, my words strained and barely audible.
“Oh, baby, thank God! I’m so glad you called.”
I had to pull it together. I needed to know if I was safe or if I’d just made my biggest mistake yet by calling. I took a deep breath and asked, “Dad, listen, I’m sorry and I miss you so much. But I’m really happy here, and I’m not coming home. I just need to make sure that we are safe, that Marcus isn’t looking for us.”
The silence stretched on.
“Dad?”
“Lily, listen to me. Please know it kills me to say this, because I miss you more than you’ll ever know. But if you are happy, truly happy, then do not come back. You can’t ever come back. I will make sure no one ever comes looking for you,” he said.
“You will?”
“Of course I will. You are my baby, and all I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy. I’m sorry I was so blind. I just wanted to believe so badly that your mother and I were doing the right thing. I’d never say it to another living soul, but honey, I’m so proud of you. Go live the life you deserve, just please be careful. I love you. Always remember that wherever you are. Remember that I love you.”
