Why had I done this to myself?
Nate tuned the radio to the appropriate channel and leaned back, looking around.
“I can’t believe I’m finally going to a drive-in,” he said with a shake of his head. “I used to see them in the movies, and always felt cheated. Like it wasn’t fair that we didn’t have them.”
I laughed. “Yeah? I think we are here because you were afraid to take me putt-putt golfing again.”
A huge smile crossed his face and I sighed internally.
“Listen, I’m going to get popcorn and stuff. I assume you like yours with butter?”
“Of course,” I said as if it was the most ridiculous question ever asked.
He smiled and hoped out. “Anything else?”
“No,” I said. “Do you want me to come with you?”
He shook his head, “No, that’s okay. There’s something I’ve got to do. I’ll be just a few minutes.”
All I could do was nod my head and watch him walk away. What did he have to do? Was he meeting some girl in the snack bar? Was he afraid of being seen with me in public? Was that it? Maybe he’d met some girl who didn’t go to our school so she didn’t know he had a girlfriend. And he wanted to keep it that way.
These and a hundred other scenarios danced through my brain as my growing anger fought with my building doubts and insecurities.
Just as I thought for sure I was going to have to track him down, just to satisfy my burning need to know what was going on, he tapped on the window, his hands full of stuff, indicating I should help him.
“Where were you?” I snapped before I could stop myself.
He frowned. “The snack bar,” he said as he nodded at all the food and drinks in his hands.
“No, you said you had something to do. You made it sound like it was something other than getting something to eat.”
He finished sliding in behind the wheel and shrugged his shoulders. “I saw Joe McCain’s car. I wanted to make sure he knew that I knew he was here.”
I could feel my brow wrinkle up in confusion. “Huh?” I asked as I tried to make sense of what he had just said.
“If he knew that I knew that he was here. He’s less likely to think he can sneak up on me when I’m unaware.”
Unbelievable, I thought. Who thinks up this stuff? “Men,” I mumbled as I rolled my eyes.
He laughed and handed me a box of Juicy Fruits. “Jimmy said these were your favorite.”
I snatched them out of his hand. “My brother has been known to be right. Thank you.”
Nodding his head, he focused on the screen for a few seconds.
“You know, I must have seen a dozen kids from school in the snack bar.”
“Yeah,” I responded as I popped the first Juicy Mint into my mouth. “That’s probably normal for a Saturday night.” God, they were good. I was going to have to thank Jimmy later. And Nate had taken the time to learn what I liked. How sweet.
“Well,” Nate continued, shooting me a strange glance. “If they see you sitting all the way over there. They’re going to think we’re not really together.”
My insides froze solid as the candy got stuck in my throat. Forcing myself to swallow, I glanced at him. He was serious. Swallowing hard again, I slid over to sit in the middle. Nate smiled down at me as he put his arm up on the seat back.
My heart raced as his delicious leather and sandalwood scent enveloped me.
He sighed as he settled into his seat and leaned back.
All I could do was try to hold onto some of my remaining sanity and stop myself from leaning into him. It’s all pretend, I reminded myself. All pretend.
Not for the first time, I desperately wished it wasn’t pretend. I desperately wanted Nate to take me into his arms and hold me like I was special to him. Me and no one else in this world.
Sighing, I forced those dreams away and concentrated on not making a fool of myself.
.o0o.
Nate
Man! Elle looked so good, my insides tightened up. Something about that girl next door look that tore at my heart. Sweet, pure, friendly with just the right amount of feisty snark. A guy couldn’t ask for more.
To top it off, the soft aroma of jasmine filled my truck with an intoxicating aroma that pulled at me. When you added the fact her thigh rested next to mine. The way she looked, everything made for a very frustrating experience. Sighing, I closed my eyes for a second and drank it in.
When I opened them, she was slowly eating a Juicy Fruit. Her red lips parting, her long slim fingers …
God, Nate, I thought to myself as I shook my head. Get it together. Remember, keep your hands to yourself and your mind out of the gutter. This was Elle, do not do something stupid. She’d slap me so hard, she’d wind up hurting herself and destroying my dreams.
I leaned back and tried to put it out of my mind and focused on the movie instead. But I couldn’t stop from glancing over every so often. The girl was just too pretty to ignore.
“What?” she demanded after about the tenth time catching me watch her. “You want one?” she asked as she offered me the box of Juicy Fruits with a quizzical frown.
“No,” I said as I shook my head. It wasn’t candy I wanted.
“Good,” she said with a smile. “More for me.” Then she turned back to watch the movie. But within a very short time, she was staring back at me, her brow creased as she tried to figure out what was going through my mind.
Thankfully, she couldn’t see or she’d have run into the night.
So, being Elle, she chose the direct path.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked with a hesitant voice, as if she might not want to know the answer.
I laughed, no way was I telling her the truth. So instead, I said something without really thinking it all the way through.
“I was just thinking that I might owe Joe McCain a favor.”
“What? Why?” she asked, her brow scrunched up in confusion.
I laughed, “Because, without him, you wouldn’t be sitting here with me.”
She threw me a doubtful stare then chuckled and pretended I was teasing. But I caught a hint of blush on her cheeks. The kind of blush she got when she was surprised by a compliment.
“I’m serious,” I said. “If Joe McCain hadn’t hassled Jimmy, then you would never have had to beg for my help.”
“I didn’t beg,” she snapped.
“No, you didn’t,” I admitted. “You asked. And if you hadn’t needed help. There is no way you would ever have gone out with me.”
She continued to frown. “It’s not really an issue. You would never have noticed me anyway.”
Now I laughed. “Oh, I noticed you,” I said. “Long before you ever asked for my help.”
She froze in place and looked up at me as if trying to figure out what was true and what was a line. I could see her mind working, she really didn’t believe me.
Scoffing, she threw a hand in the air and said, “I’m not exactly your type of girl, I bet. You're more into the Cindy Haver, or even better, the Susan Milner type. Beautiful, blond, and big chested. In fact, if I hadn’t snagged you for this little charade, you’d be sitting here with Susan Milner, and her boyfriend would be broken hearted wondering what had happened.”
I smiled to myself. The girl really didn’t have a clue how wrong she was.
“You’re avoiding the question,” I said as I fought to stop myself from letting my arm drop down off the back of the seat and pull her into a tight hug.
“I don’t remember you asking a question,” she said as she looked away with a nervous hint to her eyes.
Chuckling, I shook my head. She was right, but she was also avoiding it for some reason. “If I’d asked you out. Under normal circumstances. Not Jimmy issues. Just you and me. Would you have said yes? Is that question enough for you?”
She continued to look down at the Juicy Fruit box in her hand. Even in the dim light from the dashboard, I could see that delicious throat of he
rs working overtime as she swallowed.
“No,” she said finally.
Ouch, that hurt more than I expected it to. But hey, at least she was honest.
“But not for the reasons you think,” she added, continuing to stare down. Refusing to look at me.
There was a long, awkward silence while I waited for more. Anything that might stop this knife pain I felt between my shoulders.
Finally, she looked up at me and gave me a weak smile. “I would have said no, because I would have been positive it was all a trick. A way to make me look stupid. Guys like you do not ask girls like me out.”
“What do you mean guys like me?” I asked. “What? Not rich? Not smart enough? What?”
She slowly shook her head while she bit her lip. I knew she was having trouble telling me.
“No,” she said finally. “Guys that are tall, dark, and handsome. With a hint of danger and a touch of class. Guys with more than half a brain and a body that looks like it was carved out of granite. Those kind of guys do not ask out girls like me.”
Okay, I wasn’t expecting that.
“Sometimes …” she continued. Then stopped. Like she was all talked out and couldn’t bring herself to say another word.
My heart turned over as I did the only thing I could think of. I pulled her into me and kissed the top of her head. “Believe me,” I said. “I would have asked you out. And I would have been devastated when you said no. Even guys like me have feelings. We might not admit it. But they are there, hidden deep.”
She laughed and snuggled into me. I sighed internally and held on tight. It might be pretend. But for a moment. I was going to stop pretending and just hold Elle. Nothing could ever be better.
Chapter Sixteen
Elle
My friendly butterflies were in full riot and my heart continued to pound in my chest. But I wouldn’t have traded that night for anything. Spending the entire time nestled under Nate’s arm had to be one of those turning points in my life.
I knew for a fact that I would look back on tonight and know that something was different. The way I viewed the world. Maybe the way I thought the world viewed me. I don’t know. But it was different and I couldn’t wait to figure out how.
Nate held my hand as we walked to the front door. I glanced at the windows to see if anyone was watching. But they all looked dark to me. But hey, I wasn’t going to correct him. His strong hand just felt too perfect for me to even think that.
“You know,” he said as I stepped up onto the porch and turned to look at him. “No one is watching.”
I had to stifle a laugh. The boy could always figure out what I was thinking.
“Yes,” I said as I frantically tried to understand where this was going.
“So I don’t really have an excuse to kiss you.” He said with that smile of his that turned my insides to mush.
“Does the mighty Nate Clark need an excuse?” I asked with a little coyness that surprised me. I didn’t know I could be coy.
He smiled and said, “Nope,” then snaked his arm around me and pulled me into a deep kiss that curled my toes and sent shooting stars off into the night.
Firm but tender. Sweet, but commanding. It was everything I had come to love about Nate’s kisses.
I felt the night wash away as I melted into his arms. Everything was forgotten. There was just then. Just that moment and just the two of us.
Moaning, I pulled myself closer and became lost in the power of his lips. My arms reached up to wrap around his neck, trapping him in place as I tasted and took.
His big powerful hands caressed my back then dropped lower to squeeze. I could feel his hard body against me. Every part of him solid and dominating me.
Oh yes, I thought as I hung on for dear life.
We continued on for what seemed like half of forever. The two of us enjoying each other. I couldn’t get enough and no longer had a functioning mind. Thankfully, Nate did. He pulled back just as I was about to throw him onto the front lawn and take him right then and there.
His eyes were as big as basketballs as he fought to regain his breath. I sucked in a lungful myself as I stared at him, unable to believe how close we had just gotten to going too far.
Slowly, that wonderful smirk of his returned.
“If we are not more careful, this is going to stop being pretend and become very real,” he said.
“Would that be so terrible?” I asked, unable to believe that I had said the words aloud. The words that I had been thinking for weeks.
He smiled and slowly shook his head. “I don’t think you’ve thought this through, Elle. If we make this real. Then people can get hurt.”
I looked up at him. He wasn’t saying no. He wasn’t laughing at me like I was stupid for even thinking it. Yes! To me, this was proof there was a God.
“I’m not a little girl …” I began.
“I know,” he said with a sly smile. “That is the problem. You are definitely all woman, and it scares the hell out of me.”
Me? Scaring him? Then it hit me. He’d repeatedly lost anyone he had ever cared about. His father, then his mother, then his aunt. No wonder the thought of caring for someone was scary. I, on the other hand, had a completely different problem, I suddenly realized. I was seriously falling for Nate. There was no getting away from it. I was in love with Nate Clark. And pretend wasn’t enough anymore.
He hadn’t laughed, he hadn’t stormed off. Maybe, just maybe. Taking a deep breath, I looked up into his eyes and said. “I don’t know if I can keep doing pretend.” There, the words were out and there was absolutely no way I could keep looking at him. I had to stare down at my feet as I felt my cheeks grow hot with probably the deepest blush of my life.
I could feel him staring down at me for a long minute then he pulled me into his arms and gently pushed my head against his chest. We stood there, neither speaking, just being, while I held my breath, waiting.
“You’re probably right,” he said. “Two people can’t kiss like that and pretend it was pretending. But I don’t know if you know what you’re getting yourself into. All of the ramifications.”
“What?” I demanded. “That you won’t be able to chase after Susan Milner. Or let Cindy Havers drool all over you like a lovesick puppy.”
He laughed, his broad chest shaking under my head. I still couldn’t look up at him.
“Just so you know,” he said as he put a finger under my chin and made me stare into his eyes. “That first day of school. I stopped pretending about five minutes after you begged me to help.”
My heart melted as I threw myself at him and hugged him like he was the most important thing in this world. Which I realized, he was.
He squeezed back and my life was complete.
“I didn’t beg,” I mumbled.
He laughed and held me tight.
.o0o.
Elle
There is a moment in life when a girl comes to realize what certain terms really mean. Every day turns of phrase become clear and relatable. Things like ‘cloud nine’ or ‘Nirvana’.
The next morning was my moment. For the first time in my life, I knew what it meant to be ecstatic. You know. Over the moon happy.
“Why are you so happy?” Jimmy asked as he took another bite of his second bowl of cereal.
I laughed, I’d been doing that all morning. Laughing for no reason. Reaching over I ruffled his hair and smiled at him. “Because,” I said, “just because.”
He pushed my hand away and frowned. “And you call me weird.”
I laughed again and finished my bagel.
“You ready to go?” Mom asked me as she walked into the kitchen.
“Do I have to?” I asked. All I could think about was talking to Jeanna about last night. Although, really, all I wanted to do was relive last night over and over again. But, by talking to Jeanna I could maybe figure out what was true. I mean, it couldn’t really be true, Nate and I, real boyfriend and girlfriend. No more pretending. There wa
s just no way.
Talking to Jeanna would help. Besides, I sort of wanted to brag. I mean, come on. Nate Clark liked me.
“Yes,” my mom said as she grabbed her purse. “It will give us a chance to talk. We don’t do enough of that.”
And just like that. My bubble was popped. I could tell that look. That was the - you’re not leading your life correctly look.
Sighing, I cleared my place. I had learned long ago that these talks could not be avoided. In fact, the more you delayed, the worse they got.
As we pulled into the farmers market, I shook my head. This was the place my mother insisted we buy our food. Everything was local, she said. Local if you considered three hundred miles and the other side of a mountain range local. In truth, everything was shipped in from the central valley. The last farm around here had been plowed under and covered in concrete a dozen years ago. But people still liked to pretend.
Pretend. Something I was no longer doing with Nate, I thought as a smile broke out on my face.
“You seem happy,” my mother said as she got out of the car, organizing her color-coordinated canvas shopping bags. One for fruit and vegetables, another for jars and canned goods, and the last one for the butchers we’d hit just before leaving.
I shrugged my shoulder, no way was I providing her any information. She’d use it against me like she was in a court of law, I just knew it.
As we stepped into the bustling market, the familiar sounds and smells washed over me. The din of voices bargaining and questioning. The sweet aroma of Kettle popcorn mixed with the sharp tang of street vendors and fish tacos.
This place never changed, I thought. And maybe that was a good thing.
My mom glanced over at me and raised an eyebrow as she slowly searched for the perfect avocado. “You didn’t answer me,” she continued. “Did you have a good time last night?”
Turning away, she gave the grocery a five dollar bill and placed three avocados into her bag.
“Yes,” I said reluctantly, “I had a good time.”
“That’s nice dear,” she said as she made her way to the tomatoes. “I know we’ve talked about this in the past. But I thought now would be a good time to talk about it again. Birth control is very important.”
My Brother's Bodyguard (Hometown Heros #1) Page 12
