by Cindi Madsen
Ashlyn wrinkled her nose. “No. That’s the way you like it. I’m with Summer. I miss the yolk.”
“Summer’s skinny enough to eat the yolk. Maybe you can have one when you reach your goal weight.”
Ashlyn’s face dropped, and Summer clenched her jaw. How was she supposed to convince Ashlyn to make peace with her mom when she took cheap shots at her all the time?
Do something! Anything! “Ashlyn took me surfing all night, though. She’s going to need real food to make up for it.”
Pamela set the spatula on the counter. “The omelet is very filling, especially when paired with some whole grain toast. You’ll see.”
A few minutes later, Pamela presented Summer with a white and green mix of food. Summer took a bite. Since Pamela was watching, she mumbled, “So good.” But as soon as she turned around, Summer made a gagging motion to Ashlyn, who erupted in laughter.
Pamela spun around. “What?”
“Nothing,” Ashlyn said. “I was just thinking of a joke I heard last night.”
Pamela dumped the skillet in the sink and ran water over it. “Well, girls, I’ve got to get going. I’ve got people to whip into shape.”
As soon as Pamela left the room, Ashlyn muttered, “Would it be so bad for her to say one nice thing about me?”
Summer took a bite of her omelet. “She cared enough to make you breakfast.”
“That’s just control. She wants to make sure I eat healthy.”
“She’s trying to take care of you the only way she knows how.”
Ashlyn scowled at her. “Who’s side are you on?”
“I’m on yours, of course.” Summer tried to think of a way to be on both of their sides for her job, but that’s the thing about sides. You can’t really be on both of them at once. “How about we go to my house and get something to eat that doesn’t taste like rubber. Dad and I don’t cook, so we have all the sugary, grab-on-your-way-out-the-door stuff. I put cream cheese in the middle of two strawberry Pop-Tarts, and it’s like having cheesecake for breakfast.”
Ashlyn pushed away her hardly-touched food. “I’m not really hungry anymore. I’m going to go for a run or something.”
Summer set her fork on the counter. “You want some company?”
“It’d be too embarrassing when I started breathing heavy and couldn’t keep up with you.”
Summer wanted to offer to walk. She searched for something to say to make it better. After all, she was supposed to be a natural at this. But nothing came. “I guess I’ll see you later then.”
The skin around Ashlyn’s eyes was red, like she was on the verge of tears. “Yeah. Later.”
Chapter Fifteen
The first thing Summer saw when she walked into the school Monday morning was Lexi talking to Darren. Every nerve in Summer’s body pricked up—the girl had been trashing the guy a few days ago. Why was she all buddy-buddy with him now?
A surge of fierce protection shot through Summer, and she charged toward them.
She just caught the end of Lexi’s sentence. “…sit next to you in class, and you give me the signal for the answers.”
“He’s not doing that,” Summer said.
Lexi turned toward Summer and a frown replaced the flirtatious smile she’d had plastered on her face. “This isn’t about you, so stay out of it.”
Summer ignored her and made eye-contact with Darren. “It’s not worth it. Does MIT take cheaters? Any of the colleges you want to go to? Would they take you if you get caught cheating?”
“We won’t get caught.” Lexi put her hand on Darren’s shoulder. “We’ve done it before, and it was fine.”
Unwilling to let Lexi push Darren into doing something she knew that, deep down, he didn’t want to do, Summer stepped between them, crowding Lexi the way she had done to her the other night at the party. “Why don’t you study to get your answers, Lexi?”
Lexi took a large step back.
Summer closed the gap again, anger fueling her forward. “If you can remember all the gossip, surely you can mix some useful facts in with the catty half-truths you spread around.”
“I don’t know what your deal is lately. You think you’re so high and mighty.” Lexi lowered her voice. “Then you keep ignoring your friends to hang with the losers. Like you’re not doing the same thing.”
“I like Darren,” Summer said, not bothering to whisper back. “I’m not asking for help or test answers, and he’s most certainly not a loser.”
Fury filled Lexi’s eyes as she glared at Summer. “You think long and hard about this. I might not have quite as much pull as Kendall, but I can make your life miserable if you cross me.”
“Your threats don’t bother me, Lexi. You’re just a self-centered gossip, and I won’t let you take advantage of my friends because they’re too nice to say no.”
“Remember you brought this on yourself,” Lexi said, then she spun on her heel and stormed off.
Summer turned to check on Darren and almost bumped into Troy. “Whoa. What are you doing here, Mister Bond?”
“I thought you might need reinforcements,” Troy said.
“I didn’t realize we were still on the same team.”
One corner of Troy’s mouth twisted up. “Neither did I. You just proved me wrong.” He glanced at Darren. “You cool, dude?”
“I should’ve said no, but she’s pretty and…”
“And nothing else, dude. That’s it.” Troy nudged Summer. “Let’s take a walk, Sunshine.” He started down the hall, not bothering to look whether she was coming. His overconfidence annoyed her and drew her to him, all at the same time.
She hung back for a second, waiting to see when he’d notice.
He glanced over his shoulder and raised his eyebrows, a silent you-coming-or-what gesture.
She wanted to talk to him too much to continue fighting with him. She caught up to him, matching his quick stride, waiting for him to break the silence.
He twisted the leather cuff on his wrist. “So, I was kind of a jerk about the party.”
Summer raised an eyebrow. “Kind of?”
“Okay, I was, and I’m sorry.” Troy sat on one of the benches lining the hall and patted the spot next to him.
“Well, I might’ve overreacted because I was having a bad day.” Summer sat, tucking her leg under her as she faced him. “I still don’t get why you got so mad about me hanging out with people who you know are my friends.”
He draped his arm on the beach and tapped his long fingers on the top of it. “I thought you’d get around those people and then you’d disappear again. And I wanted to hang out on Friday night. Instead, I pictured you hooking up with that loser again.”
Summer wanted to tell him how wrong he was, but unfortunately, he hadn’t been that wrong.
“Oh, shit, you did.” Troy lifted his hand from the bench and ran it through his hair, making it stick up even more in front. “You’re with him again.”
“I’m not, I swear. He and I had this…” No way am I going to explain this to Troy. “Anyway, Ashlyn and I cut out early and went surfing. I thought about calling you, but since we were in a fight and all…”
Troy let out a long breath and put his arm back on the bench, scooting close enough her knee was against his thigh. And for some reason once she noticed that, all she could think about was the fact that her knee was touching his thigh. He leaned so close their noses were inches from touching. “I declare the fight over.”
She swallowed, finding it more difficult than usual. “What about what you said? About me losing myself?” Just saying the words aloud made her feel like the bottom of her stomach had dropped out.
“I was just mad.”
“Sometimes I do feel a little lost, though.” To her dismay, her voice cracked. “I don’t even know how to get back to the person I used to be.” And I don’t even think it’s possible with everything that’s happening to me.
His hand brushed across her shoulder and then he gently lifted her chin w
ith his fingers. “You’re still in there.” His eyes locked onto hers, and it felt like he was peering inside of her, pulling out all her secrets. “I’ve seen more of the old you lately. The girl who talked music for hours and didn’t get embarrassed when she crashed my skateboard.”
Heat crept into her cheeks as she remembered wrecking in front of him, the kind of wipeout where you were up one minute, then down the next, with no idea how exactly you got there. “Oh, I was embarrassed.”
“But you just laughed, got up, and hopped back on. Knee dripping blood and everything.” An easy smile played at the corners of his mouth. “I’ll even forgive you for the dance music. Everyone has their problems.”
Summer grinned. “Like you’re so normal.”
“Normal’s boring.”
Something in the air shifted, and it was just her and Troy, in their own little bubble. I knew his eyes were green, but were they always that green. This close, she could see how much darker the rim was, which made the lighter part stand out that much more.
“Troy?” A female voice asked, popping the bubble. She was the same tall brunette he was with yesterday after school—a volleyball player, if Summer remembered it right. “I need to talk to you. About…you know.”
“You know?” She’s interrupting us for you know? As annoying as that was, Summer found herself wanting to know. Especially since Troy straightened, widening the space between them.
He held up one finger to the volleyball player, and then glanced back at Summer. “You did a nice thing, standing up for Darren earlier. I know Lexi is your friend, and that probably wasn’t easy.”
“Actually, it was easier than I dreamed it’d be. Lexi and I have always had a rocky relationship, even before this morning. But it’s probably going to get worse. Not just with her, either.” Summer worried about the fallout with the team and how it’d affect their dance routine. Hopefully Kendall would figure out a way to smooth it over, because Summer didn’t think she had the energy.
The volleyball player was still standing there, and judging from her crossed arm position, getting impatient. But Summer didn’t want to let Troy go quite yet. “You seem to flow effortlessly from group to group with no problems, Mister Bond. How do you do it?”
He gave a casual shrug, a cocky smile curving his lips. “I’m an enigma.” He glanced at the volleyball player. “I’ve gotta go.” He gave Summer’s knee a quick squeeze. “See you around.”
He stood, and he and the brunette walked away, their heads close together, but in a hushed-discussion way, not a we’re-about-to-suck face way.
So there was that. Whatever that was.
***
All the other girls on the dance team gave Summer icy glares as she took her place on the floor. Is it cold in here, or is it just all of you?
The music for their routine started. She went one way; the whole team went the other. Struggling to keep up, she found herself a step behind the entire dance. Again. She’d practiced over and over, but that didn’t matter if someone pulled the rug out from under you.
“What happened?” Summer asked at the end of the routine.
“We changed the steps,” Kendall said.
“No one told me.”
Kendall crossed her arms. “Sucks to be left out, doesn’t it?”
So apparently Kendall wasn’t on her side anymore. Awesome.
“We had a meeting at lunch,” Kendall continued, “but you were busy with your other friends. I don’t have time to explain it all again, so I guess you’ll have to pick it up on your own.”
For the next hour, Summer struggled. The girls gave her dirty looks, and no one offered to help. Basically, Lexi had made good on her threat. By the end of practice, Summer’s frustrations threatened a hostile takeover.
She headed over to Kendall. “Can I come over and work on the new moves?”
“Now you want to be my friend?” Kendall asked.
“I never stopped being your friend.”
“Really? You left my party early with Ashlyn, and never even called to find out how the rest of my birthday was.”
“I did mean to call,” Summer said, realizing she’d forgotten to keep her promise about that. “I was just—”
“Let me guess. Busy. Did you have time to hang out with your new friend?”
“Kendall, there’s a good explanation.” Summer tried to think of what explanation she could give. The real one certainly wouldn’t do. And the other truth—that she had so much fun hanging out with Ashlyn that she didn’t want to deal with her high-maintenance friends—wouldn’t go over very well either. “I still don’t understand why it matters if I have other friends.”
Kendall let out an Oscar-winning sigh and rolled her eyes to the ceiling. “Because you having these new friends is screwing everything up! You mess up at dance practice, and now my grades are on the line. Darren helped Lexi, then I got the answers from her. We had a system, and you messed it up for a guy who likes getting attention from us.”
Summer clenched her jaw, working to cool the angry heat quickly rising through her body. “You guys take advantage of him.”
“So what? That’s the way the world works. Someday he’ll be running a computer company or something like that, and women will throw themselves at him. It all works out.” Kendall pointed a finger in Summer’s face. “You need to fix it. Tell Darren to help us out again and I can probably get Lexi to forgive you.”
She clenched her jaw tighter, so hard she thought a couple of teeth might crack. “I’m not going to do that. I won’t let you use him. Especially when you all trash-talk him behind his back.”
“You still want to dance, don’t you?”
“Of course I do.”
“Well it’s them or us, so if I were you, I’d rethink your stance. You’ve got till tomorrow morning to fix it. Now if you’ll excuse me, the girls and I have plans.” Kendall picked up her bag and raised her voice. “Come on guys. Let’s go.”
Summer stared as they walked away. Well hell.
She exited the gym and spotted Troy walking across the parking lot, headed toward his Jeep. Needing to talk to someone who didn’t hate her, she rushed to catch up with him. “What are you still doing here, Mister Bond?”
Troy glanced at her. “Hey. Just…this and that. How was dance practice?”
“The girls are mad about the Lexi-Darren thing. I got an ultimatum and everything. Fix it or get off the team.”
“So quit. You don’t need them.”
“It’s not them that I need. It’s the dancing,” she said. Mom always talked about how much she loved watching her dance. Summer loved it not only because she loved dancing and the rush of a performance, but also because she and Mom had done it together. “Dancing. It…my mom…It’s hard to explain.” A giant lump formed in her throat. “I feel closer to her when I dance.”
Troy slowed and put his hand on her arm, just above her elbow. “Then you dance, Sunshine.” He shot her a giant grin. “Dance your ass off.”
Usually, she’d laugh at that—at least smile—but she didn’t know if she had it in her today. A big part of her wanted to give up. But those months she hadn’t danced were her darkest, and she never wanted to feel like that again. Maybe she could take other classes at a studio or something. But Mom wouldn’t be there, sitting with the other moms. She wouldn’t be beside Summer either, struggling to learn the steps with her. Besides, Summer had worked hard on the routine so the team could compete at the State Competition. She’d made up sections of the choreography. It was her senior year, and her last chance to be part of something like that. She didn’t want to walk away now.
“Come on. I know what’ll cheer you up.” Troy pulled her over to his Jeep and opened the passenger door. “Hop in.”
***
Troy opened the door to Louie’s Pizza and ushered Summer inside. It used to be one of their regular stops before going to Equinox. Louie’s was the only place that could compare to the pizza in Chicago. After ordering a few
giant slices of pepperoni and a couple of drinks, they settled into a corner table.
“You never told me your mom was a dancer like you,” Troy said.
“She was an amazing dancer. I remember her blasting music and declaring it Dance Party Time. She even forced Dad to join in.” Summer smiled, thinking about their dance parties that sometimes included jumping off and on the furniture. “As soon as I could walk, she put me in classes. I did jazz, tap, hip-hop, a little Irish dancing, and even ballet.”
Troy’s eyebrows shot up. “Ballet? I never would’ve pegged you for a ballerina.”
“My ballerina stint was brief.” Since she’d seen her first vision of death after her ballet solo, she’d never put on her toe shoes again, as if ballet had anything to do with her vision. She shook off that thought and forced herself to move on. “But since my first class, I’ve always been involved in dance in some way. It became such a big part of how I defined myself.”
Summer opened her mouth, poised to take a bite of pizza, when she realized something. “I guess that’s why I settled into things with Kendall and her crowd. It went along with dance. I’m afraid I got sucked in and turned a little shallow myself. Really, I just haven’t been the same since my mom left.”
“She didn’t leave, Summer,” Troy said. “Not on purpose.”
Her chest tightened and tears crawled up her throat. She did, though. I asked her not to go, but she went anyway.
“My dad…” Troy picked up his soda, and pointed the straw toward her. “Now, that’s a loser that left on purpose.”
The night she’d told him about how Mom had died and how much she missed her, he’d told her about his dad. Troy was thirteen when his dad informed him he’d have to be the man of the house. Then his dad left, all so he could pursue his dream of becoming a musician. He never wrote, called, sent money—never did any of those things dads were supposed to do. Troy and his mom never heard from him again.
Summer thought of her own father and how lost she’d be without him. Which is why certain things are better left unsaid.
