by Debra Dunbar
The Noodle had a sense of humor. Who would have thought?
Neither of those options seemed an easy way to track an elf, so I opted for another method. The shop clerk pointed at the ‘no shoes, no service’ sign as we walked into the convenience store. I didn’t intend on requesting any service, but I told him we were buying shoes and had Terrelle pick out two pairs from the cheapy flip-flop selection. I grabbed what I’d come for, plus a bag of chips and a six-pack of beer, then ran for the exit. The clerk shouted but didn’t give chase.
I was sitting on a bench, halfway through the bag of chips by the time Terrelle caught up with me.
“That man tried to detain me pending police arrival.” She huffed and plopped herself down beside me. “Next time give a girl a bit of a heads-up.”
“You should have known. I don’t have any money with me, and it’s not like the guy was going to take a fireball gem or a ball of yarn for payment.”
“Here.” She handed me a pair of flip-flops.
Damn. I was totally impressed. She’d gotten away and managed to shoplift footwear. The Noodle was good.
I slipped them on and showed her the paper I’d stolen.
“Man hit by bus Tuesday evening declines treatment after miraculous recovery.” She squinted at the grainy picture someone had taken with their cell phone seconds before the victim dashed off. “That’s our elf.”
“Yep. And there’s this.” I handed her today’s paper.
“Security tightened at SeaTac after a man dressed as an elf jumped the checkpoint barriers and evaded TSA agents in a chase through terminal C.” She shook her head slowly. “Why wouldn’t he just create a gate? Elves do that all the time to move about Hel.”
“Not all elves can,” I explained. “And their magic doesn’t work quite as well here as it does in Hel. Even if he could, the transport would leave an energy signature that might catch an angel’s attention. We’ve already established that Swifty doesn’t want the angels to know he’s here.”
Terrelle chuckled. “Wanna bet he barfed on the plane?”
“Probably wet his pants too.” And argued with the flight attendant about the lack of hot peanuts and complimentary wine.
We knew the date and rough time, but not the location. I grabbed the other item I’d stolen and began to dial Wyatt then hesitated. I hadn’t spoken to him in nearly three weeks, and it was probably best to let that comatose dog lie. So I dialed Nyalla instead.
She was a bit confused as to why I was in Seattle calling from a strange cell phone number but quickly fired up the laptop. For a girl who’d been released from slavery in Hel less than two years ago, she’d caught on fast. And she seemed to have inherited the same amazingly intuitive grasp of technology as her brother.
“There’s a lot of flights out of that terminal,” she warned. “And I think I’ll narrow it down to within one hour of his breach of security. He wouldn’t want to be hanging out in terminal C too long with everyone looking for him.”
Dallas, Chicago, Boston, Denver, Sacramento, Salt Lake City, Los Angeles.
“See if there’s a Judith Melbourne on any of those flights,” Terrelle shouted at the phone, the concept of speakerphone mics totally escaping her.
“Who’s that?” I asked as Nyalla typed in the background.
“Pouchain’s human name. I’m wondering if an elf would know enough about human travel to navigate the airport and evade security. He had to have help.”
And have arranged for a fake ID and tickets. Dude may have jumped the line at security, but there was no way they were going to let him on a plane without a ticket. And I was beginning to think Terrelle was my new best friend. “Do you think he could have caught a connecting flight? Crap, he could be anywhere.”
“No.” She squinted in thought. “Trying to sneak onto two planes and get around security isn’t easy. A demon who knew the human world and didn’t mind getting smacked around by the cops, yes. An elf trying to remain undetected, no. Especially since he has no idea what’s going on in this world. The guy got hit by a bus within hours of crossing the gates, for fuck sake.”
“She’s right,” Nyalla chimed in. “The first week I was here from Hel, I was terrified to leave the house without someone with me. Phones, computers, cars. I couldn’t operate the toaster. Even if the elf knew English and spent some time preparing for life here, the reality of it is going to be disorienting.”
I remembered Nyalla’s fear and confusion, how she relied on all of us to get her around safely. They were right. Swifty needed his demon guide for more than just a stealthy passage through the gates.
“Ugh!” I heard Nyalla slam a fist on the table and winced. “I can’t access the passenger lists. I’ll call Wyatt—”
“No!” Terrelle jumped at my shout. I’d gotten the hint months ago. Continuing to hound Wyatt for his help would only be embarrassing. I’d been pretty lax in my pursuit of some sins, but this was one instance where pride governed my decisions.
“Okay.” Nyalla spoke as though she thought I would explode through the cellular network. “I’ll try calling, claiming I’m Judith Melbourne’s sister checking on her flight. Any idea of which one I should start with? They’re all with two airlines, and I doubt I can keep making inquiries about different flights without sounding like a nut case.”
“You’ll get some customer service center with a hundred reps in Cyberalgeria or something,” I told her. “Hang up and call back. You won’t get the same rep twice.”
“Got it. Do I call you back on this number?”
I stared down at the stolen phone, wondering how long I had before the owner cut off service. “Sure. If I don’t hear from you in an hour, I’ll call back from a pre-paid.”
Terrelle was staring at the phone as I disconnected. “They’re a lot smaller than they were the last time I was here.”
“That’s what she said,” I joked. “So, Dallas, Chicago, Boston, Denver, Sacramento, Salt Lake City, or Los Angeles? Which should we try first?”
“I thought we were going to wait for your friend to get back to us with information.”
“Nope.” An hour shouldn’t be wasted, especially when it meant this elf would have extra time to hide in a world with seven-billion people.
She sighed, placing a hand on my arm. “Sacramento. I hope this time I don’t puke.”
Chapter 12
Dallas, Chicago, Boston, Denver, Sacramento, Salt Lake City, Los Angeles.
Time had gotten away from me, and Terrelle and I had been to Sacramento, Los Angeles, Dallas, and Salt Lake City before I realized the stolen phone was dead and Nyalla was due to have called several hours ago. In addition to our planned destinations, we also journeyed to Tokyo, Manali, and a one-street town called Toad Hop. I kid you not, Toad Hop.
“Boston by way of Dallas.” Nyalla was breathless, like she’d been out jogging.
Time was critical, so I made another decision. “Can you call Gregory on my speed dial and tell him I need a taxi from Salt Lake City airport to Logan International?”
There was a moment of silence then Nyalla giggled. “Because you know he won’t yell at me like he would if you called and asked him directly?”
Yes. Exactly. “Tell him I’ll owe him a favor. Or I’ll give him a blow job. Either one. His choice.”
I knew what his choice would be, but you can’t fault a girl for trying, especially when that girl is a demon.
Terrelle tilted her head and did the blink thing at me. “Who is Gregory? Does he own a private plane?”
“No, he has wings. And he’s much better at the teleportation thing than I am.” He was also much better at getting information out of humans without resorting to violence. One word from him and TSA would be spilling state secrets while kneeling before him. Not that I faulted the humans. One word from him and I was pretty much doing the same.
“Wings?”
Anything else Terrelle was about to say was choked off in a gurgled gasp as my beloved appeared. I threw mysel
f into his arms in spite of his scowl. Damn, I’d missed this guy. A few days in Hel and I felt like we’d been apart a century.
“This is Terrelle.” I pointed at the demon. “She’s my newest household member, and she’s helping me track down an elf.”
He took a deep breath and sent a less hostile expression to Terrelle than the one I’d been subjected to. Didn’t matter. He still had his arms tight around me, no matter how irritated he was at being called to haul me across the country.
“Elf? Shouldn’t you be looking in Hel instead of in a Boston airport?”
I told him the whole story—gem, underground portion of Eresh, and all.
“Come here.” He motioned to Terrelle.
The demon looked like she was about to wet her pants. I could see she was thinking that walking to Boston would be a better alternative.
“Immunity,” I reminded her. “Just don’t kill anyone and you’ll be good to go.”
In a flash, all three of us were at the airport in Boston. Rain pounded against the huge glass windows, and I narrowly avoided a family of five who were intent on mowing down anyone in their path to the baggage claim.
“I guess you want me to help you question the humans?” Gregory’s voice felt warm and seductive.
I leaned against him, reaching my spirit-self out so I could touch more than his physical self. “If you wouldn’t mind.”
I felt the rumble of his laugh against my cheek as his hand stroked my hair. “Normally I would mind, but I’ve missed you, and I have some catching up of my own to do. It’s in my best interests to wrap this up as quickly as possible so I can take you home.”
Terrelle was staring at us with an expression of absolute astonishment. I knew there’d been rumors in Hel of my relationship with an angel, but no one believed them beyond my household. After two-and-a-half-million years, after the bloody war that had fractured the angelic host in half, it did seem improbable that two such opposite beings would find love together.
But impossible things did happen.
“Get a move on, big guy.” I pulled back and slapped Gregory on the ass, more for the shock value to Terrelle than for any sexual stimulation on the angel’s part.
Gregory let my assault upon his person go without comment or retaliation and led me to the security guard. He worked his mojo with a narcotic cloud of blue, and I gave the description of both the elf and the demon accompanying him. After questioning five humans, we finally struck gold. One had been told an amusing story when he’d started his shift of a couple arguing near the exits. Evidently, their fight had reached the level of volume and tone that the guards had thought about intervening. They didn’t, because it was far more entertaining to watch a demon in female human form punch a skinny guy who looked like he’d just come from a Renaissance fair or cosplay at a fantasy convention.
They’d been arguing about whether to take the train or rent a car and drive to their final destination. The elf won, and they got on the shuttle to the Amtrak station. I composed my face into what I hoped was ‘adorable kitten’ and waited.
“I’m assuming the widened eyes and squished up mouth are your way of entreating me to take you to the train station and help you question the humans. Either that or you’re constipated.”
“I’m not constipated.” I resumed The Look. Gregory shook his head and motioned both Terrelle and me over.
Terrelle puked a whole lot less this trip. Either she was getting used to this mode of transportation or there was nothing left in her stomach to throw up. I ignored her dry heaves and focused on the sirens and flashing lights whizzing by.
“What’s going on,” I asked a businessman slogging his way through the parking lot to his car.
“Beats me.” He barely raised his head as he replied. “Probably an accident.”
Or an elf hit by a bus. I decided to check it out. There didn’t seem to be quite the level of security at the train station as there was at the airport. I’m sure other passengers would have noted an elf in costume traveling with an attractive young woman, but they would all be long gone by now. My only hope was that the ticket agents might have noticed them, even if they purchased their fare through one of the machines.
Accident first. Ticket agent second.
“Can you take us there?” I pointed to a cluster of cars near the highway entrance ramp.
“Yes I can . No, I won’t .” Gregory began walking.
“I’ll just steal a car,” I called after him.
“I’ll just render the car incapable of motion,” he called back.
I walked, Terrelle staggering behind me, wiping her mouth.
It was an accident. Three cars sandwiched together, long, black skid marks marring the road. What made this accident special was the torn section of asphalt that sliced across the roadway ending where a burned tree lay smoking on the shoulder. Lightning. And there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.
“Another demon?” I wasn’t sure why the two would have anyone else chasing them. Swifty was exiled, and as far as I knew, Gareth was pinning all his hopes for gem recovery on me. Pouchain may have enemies, but I doubted any were pissed off enough to risk a trip through the angel gates just to take him out. No, I would have heard about any feud that intense.
Gregory examined the pileup of vehicles, while injured drivers and paramedics were oblivious to his presence. “No, they had a fight with an angel.”
Oh yeah. Pouchain was a demon, and the Grigori were tasked with taking them out. Normally I would have gotten a courtesy heads-up, but in cases of imminent threat, the angels were allowed to take immediate and lethal action. Yes, every encounter was classified as an imminent threat, which meant my courtesy heads-up wasn’t worth the angelic paper it was written on.
“Which of your enforcers handles Boston?” As if I didn’t know. Atlantic City wasn’t all that far away by celestial standards.
He didn’t need to answer. A wordless summons and Eloa stood before us, his male form shifting into a sexy Marilyn Monroe the moment the angel saw me. Her toothy smile wasn’t fooling anyone. This angel wanted Gregory more than a junkie wanted a fix. And in her eyes, I was the major roadblock between her and the object of her desire.
“Sir.” The word purred from full, red lips.
My angel made a sweeping gesture. “Lost one, Eloa? That’s not like you.”
I’d expected her to stiffen at the slight. Instead, a tiny frown wrinkled the perfect forehead as the angel looked toward the accident. “Lost one of what, Sir?”
Gregory leaned forward, his shadow encasing the other angel. “I know some of the angels assigned to me have divided loyalties, but I’d expected different from you.”
She cringed, her eyes meeting his then sliding away to focus on the scorched pavement. “It was a luck demon, Ancient Revered One. I had a lock on him, had injured him, and then I saw... something that distracted me.”
“Like an elf?” I asked.
Eloa shot me an icy glare then turned back to Gregory. “It couldn’t have been, Sir. I know there have been rumors of elf sightings this past year, but why would one be sneaking around the train station in the company of a demon?”
Elf sighting. Like a spaceship landed on the highway and aliens started beaming humans aboard. “Because demons know their way around the human world while elves get hit by busses and chased down by airport security?” The angel ignored me. Actually, both angels were ignoring me.
“What happened when you were distracted by the elf, Eloa?” Gregory’s voice was soft and gentle. I shivered, because when he got that particular tone with me, it was usually followed by some very physical actions. My knees grew weak just thinking about how his teeth got all sharp and pointy, how his black irises encompassed the entirety of his eyes, the way his fingers felt digging into my arms as he shook me and smacked me against some hard surface. I could jump him right now just imagining it.
Eloa’s knees got weak too, but I doubted her fall to the pavement was inspired by lust. “I o
nly turned my head for a moment, Ancient One. Just one moment and a recreational vehicle ran me down. By the time I got to my feet, the demon and elf were gone, and all these cars and trucks were on top of each other. I await your punishment for my lapse in duty.”
I snorted. That angel couldn’t possibly try any harder to climb up Gregory’s ass.
My angel shook his head. “I’m putting someone else in charge of this area temporarily while you track the demon. You have his energy signature, know his human form as well as the appearance of his traveling companion. Do not rest until you have found them, and make sure they remain alive until the Iblis and I arrive.”
Eloa stood, bowing deeply before vanishing with a flash of light. Gregory turned to me, folding his arms across his chest. “It’s time we discussed this elf. I’ve just committed significant resources to tracking him down for you—resources I cannot afford to divert at this time. Please explain why this is so important.”
In the big scheme of things, as far as everyone else besides Gareth and I were concerned, it wasn’t important. The theft of a spell enhancement gem wasn’t a life-or-death situation.
“It would clear my debt to a sorcerer in Hel and give me some additional time to deal with matters here and all the elf shit in Hel.”
Gregory regarded me. “What ‘elf shit’? I thought the war was over and the humans were free?”
I squirmed. “Yes, but they’re still harassing the humans, and they’ve merged their kingdoms into some kind of mega-empire. And put a bounty on my head.”
Lame. I’d brought Gregory running to taxi me and Terrelle around, sent his angels off tracking a demon, all to solve my personal problems. I expected the angel to be pissed, to call Eloa back and tell her to forget about it, to dump my ass in a ditch and tell me to get my priorities in order.
Instead, he surprised me. “After two-and-a-half-million years, an elf has crossed the gates. Why?”
I hadn’t really pondered that question. We demons crossed all the time. Messing with the humans, risking our lives for a bit of fun—those were our reasons. But an elf? “I don’t know. I just assumed he was selling the gem to a demon and this was their agreed-upon exchange spot.”
