I sighed. She was far more mature than any sixteen-year-old I’d ever met. “How did you get so smart?”
“Truthfully? Books,” she told me, and I laughed saying, “So not church, or school, or your parents? Just books.”
“I’m sure those didn’t hurt, but I love romance novels. And if you get past all the sappy stuff, they really give you an idea of people and relationships. You can’t believe everything you read, though. I mean seriously, orgasms all the freaking time? I’ve had sex, and it’s not that glamourous.” I choked, as I laughed. “TMI. Please stop.”
“I found the line?” she asked, laughing back at me.
“Yes, yes you did,” I sputtered, leaning back against the couch. “Adoption huh?”
“Yep, it seems like the best choice. It will have a family that can support it and love it. Not an unwed teenage mom that can’t afford rent,” she told me quietly. All I could think was that this sucks. Hannah would make an awesome mom in another five years, once she’d had a chance to go to school and finish growing up. But that wasn’t how this was gonna go, and I had to respect her for making a tough choice. “I respect you. That’s not an easy choice. I’m sure my dad can help find an adoptive family.”
“No!” she said firmly. I looked at her surprised. “I mean, I’m not ready to tell them. I want to get through Colt leaving, and then go forward with adoption. I know it sounds crazy, but the more people that know, the more likely it is that Colt will find out and not go.”
“No, you have a point. Plus, my dad is a lawyer and that means he’d want Colt to sign off on the adoption papers. If you don’t say anything, then you can put unknown on the birth certificate for the father. If we’re not going to tell him, then we have to make sure he never finds out,” I told her, determined.
“We agree then? To not tell Colt, or anyone?” she whispered.
“Yes, but what happens when you start to show? We can’t hide it forever,” I asked. It wouldn’t be difficult for the first few months, but eventually people were going to notice and put two and two together.
“Colt will have been gone a few months before I start showing. And once Colt’s gone I won’t see any of his friends. They’re his friends not mine. People will talk, but they won’t know.”
“I hate that you have to miss your senior year. Hell, I hate all of this” I growled, clenching my fists. “It’s all around a shitty situation.”
“I agree, but it’s what we have. And, Ford, I’m really glad I told you,” Hannah told me, reaching over and squeezing my hand. I gripped her hand back, as I said, “I’m glad you told me too. Have you been to the doctor yet?”
“No. I haven't had a chance to make an appointment. I thought about going to one of the pregnancy clinics, but I was afraid they’d try to push me to get an abortion,” Hannah replied.
“Yeah, do you have a doctor? Or do we need to find one?”
“Um, I guess find one? I’ve only ever gone to my mom’s, and I’d rather not go there.”
“Ok. I’ll look some up and we can make an appointment. I’ll go with you, unless you’d rather I didn’t?” I asked, glancing at her questioningly.
“I’d like you to go. At least the first time,” she replied, hesitantly.
“Ok, that’s settled. What about tomorrow?”
“What about it?” Hannah asked, looking perplexed.
“The family dinner? Colt?” I questioned, looking at her.
“Oh, ohhhh. Crap. I have to work. I forgot, I was so excited about getting more hours,” Hannah groaned.
“More hours? Don’t you need to cut back, being pregnant?” I asked her.
“No. I need the money. There will be stuff that has to be paid for,” she replied, defensively.
“I can help you with that—doctor’s appointments and stuff. You don’t need to work more,” I told her, thinking about my expenses and figuring out what I could contribute.
“No. That’s too much. I have to be responsible. Plus, I have to pay for my gas and put money away for college. It’s good that I work, but I forgot and I’m supposed to work until six tomorrow,” she said, with a sigh. “But maybe that’s a good thing.”
“What do you mean?” I said inquiringly.
“I’m breaking up with Colt,” she answered baldly.
I raised my eyebrow at that. Another thing she seemed to have put some thought into. “Why?”
She gave me a look that asked if I was serious. “Because I can’t date him and lead him on and lie to him. He thinks I’m going to Alabama with him when I graduate. That’s never going to happen. Even if Colt never finds out about this baby, we can’t be together. There are too many secrets now.”
I couldn’t really argue with that. Their relationship was pretty much done when it was decided not to tell him about his child. He was going to college, and being in a long distance relationship didn’t have good odds to start with. “Okay. Just don’t break up with him tomorrow. Please. Tell him you can’t make it, but give him tomorrow. A whole bunch of family are coming in to celebrate.”
“I can do that. I don’t want to spoil his day,” she said, getting up gracefully. “I have to go to the bathroom.”
“Are you sick?” I asked, alarmed, jumping up. She looked at me and laughed, “No. I have to pee. Another side effect of being pregnant. And being human,” she smirked.
I settled back down on the couch, “Ok, I’ll wait here then.”
“Good idea. I’d rather not have an audience,” Hannah said, throwing me a wink.
We talked, until I realized the time. “Shit, it’s after ten. Don’t you have a curfew?”
Hannah looked surprised when I said what time it was. “Yeah, I do, but it’s okay. My parents were going out to dinner tonight. They won’t even notice.” Something felt off about what she was telling me, but I shrugged it off.
“Do you have my number? In case you need anything, give me a call. I’ll text you when I find some doctors.”
“Yeah, I’ve got your number. Colt gave it to me a long time ago. You have mine?”
I scrolled through and didn’t see it, “Nope. Doesn’t look like it.”
“I’ll text you later, so you’ll have it.”
“Do you want to come over tomorrow?” I asked her, feeling unaccountably reluctant to let her out of my sight.
“I won’t get off till six, and no telling when the party will end,” she answered, shaking her head.
“I can leave early,” I told her.
“No, you can’t. This is Colt’s day,” she told me firmly. I agreed, but I felt like I needed to be there for her more than Colt now. She was taking all the hits in this game.
“Fine, but call me if you change your mind.” She grabbed her purse and headed to the door. I slid on some flip flops and followed her out. She looked at me questioningly and I said, “I'm walking you to your car.”
“Ever the gentleman,” she answered, smiling. When we got to her car, I noticed a ton of stuff in the backseat.
“It looks like your closet exploded back there,” I told her.
“Yeah. I decided to donate some things I don’t want anymore. Most of it won’t fit soon anyway.” She looked uncomfortable about it, so I dropped it.
“Alright, be safe on the way home. Text me,” I told her firmly.
“I will.”
Hannah
Chapter Four
I climbed into my car and drove away from Ford. Part of me wanted to turn around and tell him everything, but I’d burdened him enough. I couldn’t admit how bad it really was. He’d done enough for me. He was my freaking boyfriend’s brother, and now he knew more about me than almost anyone.
I drove through the parking lot, until I found a parking space in a darkened corner, near one of the buildings. It wouldn’t look suspicious to have a car parked here overnight, and it was safe.
I turned the car off and climbed into the back seat. I desperately wanted a shower, but that wasn’t going to happen tonight. I scrubbe
d my teeth with a dry toothbrush to get the grimy feel off them. I kicked my shoes off and curled up on the back seat.
The weather had been mild, but soon the temperatures were going to rise, and I had no idea what I was going to do then. I couldn’t live in my car forever.
I’d taken the pregnancy test last Thursday, right after school. I’d hoped I was wrong, but seeing the two lines appear hadn’t surprised me.
My period was like clockwork. I’d never missed or been late like some girls complained about. I didn’t even cry when I knew for sure. I’d thrown myself across the bed and groaned.
I’d had to tell my parents. That was a conversation I’d dreaded. I imagined the shouting and bible scriptures my father was going to throw at me. Mother would give me her look and immediately start in on what her friends would think. I was sure the last thing on their minds would be me or Colt.
I’d considered telling Colt, but immediately dismissed the thought. He was graduating the next day and leaving for Alabama in a couple weeks. If he found out, he’d throw everything away to do the right thing.
And honestly, what was the right thing in this situation? I still had senior year left. Neither of us was in a position to raise a baby, and Colt didn’t love me. I knew he’d told me he loved me, but it was a comfortable type of love, not life altering. It wasn’t the kind of love that could survive broken dreams and crying babies.
I’d finished my homework and headed downstairs for dinner. It was time to pay the piper.
We always ate in the dining room. Mother considered it proper. I never understood where she got these ideas from. She’d grown up in a trailer park. Her dad had taken off when she was a kid, and her mom lived off the state, until she’d finally died of lung cancer when I was two. My other grandparents were the complete opposite, but they’d never been formal.
Mother wanted to think we were in a higher echelon, because Father preached the gospel, but the truth was no one cared where we ate our dinner, or if we used the nice china.
I sat down and spread my napkin on my lap. Mother and Father conversed at the end of the table. I wasn’t allowed to speak until spoken to; the idea being that children should be seen, not heard.
Finally, Mother paused in their conversation and asked me, “How was your day, dear? Did you pass your algebra test?”
“I made an A on my test. It was a good day, I was accepted into honors English,” I replied, hoping to make them happy before I told them about my pregnancy.
“Well, that’s wonderful. I would expect no less,” Mother said, smiling at my father. Father interpreted her look and told me gruffly, “Good job.”
“Thank you,” I said, as they turned back to their conversation. I knew I’d have to tell them now before I lost my nerve.
“I have something else to tell you.” They glanced back at me, Mother’s eyes narrowing slightly at the interruption. “I’m pregnant.”
The silence was deafening. I expected shouting and recriminations, but they didn’t utter a word. They stared at me for the longest time and then turned back to their dinner.
I couldn’t summon the courage to say anything, so I finished my plate and waited for them to leave the table, so I could clear it. Finally, they got up and walked out, still silent.
I quickly picked everything up and cleaned the dishes, their absolute silence frightening. I couldn’t help but wonder if that was their intention.
The next morning, I gathered my books and stopped by the kitchen to grab breakfast before I drove to school. Mother was at the table in her robe sipping a cup of coffee.
I grabbed a banana and told her good morning. She acted as if she hadn’t seen or heard me. She flipped the page on the newspaper.
I walked out the door, angry now. I got that they were disappointed, but they could’ve at least talked to me. Their silent treatment was childish.
I got through the day, and even though I was upset, it couldn’t dampen my happiness about tonight. Colt was graduating, and while I knew I was losing him, he’d worked hard to get here and his dreams were coming true. Tonight was about Colt and celebrating his hard work.
Ford had agreed to let a group of us have a party at his place after graduation. I knew Colt was excited, because he told me Ford had bought beer for the party. Ford was pretty tolerant about letting a bunch of younger teenagers hang out at his place. He was close to his brother and wanted him to have a good time, so long as Colt didn’t abuse the privilege.
A few months ago, Colt and some of his friends had gotten wasted and created a disturbance by the pool. I’d never seen Ford so angry. He refused to let Colt come by for weeks after that incident. It had embarrassed Colt to have his brother angry with him, and he hadn’t drunk since then. Tonight was an exception, and I guess a gesture of forgiveness from Ford.
I headed home to change and get ready. Hopefully, one of my parents would choose to speak to me. When I pulled up into the driveway I saw a pile of boxes in front of the garage.
The sight of the boxes made my stomach twist. I parked and saw Mother coming out of the house. The look on her face was cold and distant. It was like looking at a stranger.
“I’ve packed clothes that I feel are appropriate for your situation. They’re in these boxes. The rest will be donated to the women’s shelter,” she told me calmly.
“What’s going on? Why are you packing my clothes up?” I shouted, upset.
“You no longer live here. You are a disappointment to your father and I. We did not raise you to act this way, and we will not tolerate your promiscuity under our roof,” Mother replied, coldly. She never raised her voice. It was if she was speaking to a stranger. I cried, in complete disbelief at what I was hearing.
“You can’t throw me out. Where am I going to go?” I begged her, desperate for any sympathy or understanding.
“The car is in your name, thanks to your grandparent’s lavish and inappropriate gift. Perhaps you can live in it,” she told me, mockingly. “Or maybe with the boy who impregnated you? Will he still want you now?”
“Father. He wouldn’t agree to this. Where is he?” I demanded, her indifference cutting through me.
“He’s at the church working on his sermon for Sunday, about the willfulness of children and how to not spare the rod. He couldn’t bear to look at you, so I’m left to witness your disgraceful display.” I was stunned, she wasn’t budging. She looked at me with loathing, as if I’d committed a sin so great that my presence alone was contaminated.
“We’ve changed the locks as well. If you don’t take the boxes now, they’ll be donated with the rest.” After she finished, she turned and walked back into the house. I heard her turn the lock after she shut the door.
My heart raced, and tears streamed down my face. I stumbled to the boxes and picked the first one up. I managed to fit them all in the trunk of the car. There were a total of five boxes. My life, or what was left of it, fit into five boxes.
I got into the car and realized my phone had been going off. I had a dozen missed calls from Colt and a text telling me to call him. I couldn’t help but think he knew what’d happened. Desperate, I called him back, but he didn’t answer.
I threw my phone on the passenger seat and pulled out of my driveway. As I headed down the street I had no idea where I was going, but I knew I was never going back.
. . .
I opened my eyes and looked up at the roof of my car, remembering the rest of that night.
I’d driven around for an hour before Colt called me again talking about how excited he was. I quickly realized he had no idea what was going on with me and I didn’t tell him. I finally stopped at the leasing office where I worked and went in, changed my clothes, and fixed my makeup. The outfit I’d planned to wear wasn’t in the boxes Mother had packed, but I made do. I decided to ignore my new circumstances and enjoy my time with Colt.
It wound up being a fun night. We joked and laughed over high school stories and all the stupid stuff we’d done. Ford m
ade himself scarce after a couple hours, and no one got too wild.
Colt eventually passed out on Ford’s couch. I started picking up beer cans and plates; anything to avoid thinking about what I was going to do next or where I was going to sleep that night.
Ford came out of his bedroom and looked around. The place was a mess, but not trashed. “You don’t have to pick this stuff up. I’ll get it in the morning. Sleepy over there can help me. Isn’t it past your curfew?” he questioned me.
“I got a free pass tonight, since it was graduation,” I lied, unwilling to admit the truth. It hurt more than I could’ve imagined, not having a home. He raised his eyebrow, surprised. He had heard the stories of my parent’s strict rules from Colt.
The Anderson Brothers Complete Series Page 3
