“Are you saying you want to keep the baby?” I asked, carefully, desperately trying not to get my hopes up. He was breathing life into my dreams and I was afraid of waking up.
“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying” he answered, his hand reaching up to stroke my cheek, catching a tear with his thumb.
“But Colt? How can we afford a baby? How can we do this?” I whispered, my voice aching.
“Do you want to keep the baby? Do you want us?” he demanded, his stare never wavering. “Answer me that and we’ll figure out the rest.”
“Yes! Of course yes. It’s what I want more than anything,” I gasped, the tears running down my cheeks. “The thought of giving either of you up makes me feel hollow.”
He crushed me to him, “That’s all I needed to hear.” My tears were soaking his t-shirt, and I clung to him, afraid to release him and find this was a dream. He rocked me gently, his hand tangled in my hair. I rubbed my face against his chest, and he leaned me back from him, a handkerchief dangling from his hand. I smiled and used it to sop up my face.
“I’m hoping those are happy tears?” he asked me, a smile playing on his mouth.
I laughed, “Yes, they are.”
“Okay, let’s eat then,” he said, as my stomach rumbled. We laughed and settled down to eat. We talked about our weekends, catching each other up. Later, we curled up on the couch to discuss the future.
“I can pick up more hours at the leasing office. I know Olivia will give me more hours,” I told Ford, leaning against his chest, as he played with my hair.
“That won’t work for long. You’re already tired, and it’s going to get worse. Once the baby gets here, you won’t be able to work at all,” he replied, matter-of-factly.
“Maybe we can ask your parents for help? I don’t like the idea, but with both of us in school,” I said, trailing off. I knew we needed to do this on our own, but now that the idea of keeping our baby had entered my mind, I couldn’t let it go. It didn’t matter who I had to beg for help. I would to keep us together. “I could call my grandparents,” I offered hopefully.
“We could, but I’m thinking the best thing is if both of us weren’t in school,” he responded. I turned to look at him, wondering what he meant. I didn’t want to give up school, at least not high school. If I needed to wait for college I could. He looked down at me and dropped the bomb. “I’m going to quit law school.”
My mouth dropped open, but nothing was coming out. I knew he didn’t want to be a lawyer, but I’d never expected him to give it up. This had been the plan for a long time, for him to finish law school and join his dad at the firm.
I shook my head looking at him, and he brushed his finger across my lips, looking at me apologetically. “I don’t want to be a lawyer. I never did,” he hesitated, gathering his thoughts. “I was doing it to please my dad, but things have changed. You’ve changed me.”
I kept my expression open knowing this was hard for him. He’d never really admitted this to anyone but Colt. “Being with you has opened my eyes. I don’t want to live my life according to other people’s expectations. It’s time we do what’s best for us. I know it’s going to hurt Colt and my dad and I regret that, but I don’t want to spend a lifetime unhappy.”
I smiled, immensely proud of him. I reached up and cupped his jaw, my thumb stroking the strong line. “I’m with you. All I want is for you to be happy, and I will support you in anything you do.” I promised him.
He closed his eyes and turned his head, softly kissing the inside of my palm. “Thank you for understanding.” I felt his lips turn up into a smile, as he continued, “Hopefully, you weren’t dreaming of a lawyer husband.”
I laughed out loud and gripped his jaw, turning his face toward me. His eyes popped open and I told him, “I don’t care what you do, so long as you’re happy. Even if you’re a garbage man and I have to wash your stinky clothes.”
“I don’t think it’ll come to that. I’m going to talk to Joe tomorrow. We’ve discussed expanding the business off and on through the years. He didn’t want to do it with just him, but I love making furniture. I could see making a good living doing it,” he said, settling me back against him. “I’ve been saving the money I’ve made off the furniture I built, so we have a small nest egg. We’ll need to pay the rent on the apartment. I can’t expect Dad to foot the bill when I quit law school. Things will be tight for a while,” he warned me.
“I’m okay with that. I have money saved from working too,” I assured him, unconcerned with a tight budget if it meant we became a family.
“I don’t want to use that. It’s your college fund,” he argued, squeezing me gently.
“I’ve been talking to the counselor. I explained the situation with my parents and she told me to apply for scholarships and grants. I think there’s a really good chance of getting one. That would take care of school,” I told him. “But babies are expensive. Diapers and all the stuff we’ll need. It’s going to add up,” I said, worried.
“We’ll figure it out. Together,” he reassured me, kissing my temple.
We decided to tell Ford’s parents the next Sunday when we had supper with them. I could tell Ford was nervous about their reaction, but it was as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He was more relaxed and happy than I’d ever seen him. I hadn’t realized how much pressure he was under to live up to his parent’s expectations.
“Hey, gorgeous. What’s cooking?” Ford teased me when he came in from school the next day. He reached down to rub my belly, as he gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.
“Oh my god, you’re going blind!” I exclaimed, looking worried, as I grabbed his face and stared into his eyes. He looked concerned, as I continued, “Because no one with 20/20 is looking at me and using the word gorgeous.” I finished, grinning at him. “Swollen ankles, big belly, no makeup and your sweats. I’m the epitome of beauty.”
“You missed the way your skin glows, how full and shiny your hair is, those stunning legs, and that big belly? It takes my breath away,” he said, with the utmost sincerity, his eyes never looking away from mine. My breath stuttered at the truth I saw in his eyes. In that moment, I felt as beautiful as he said I was. I took a breath and pulled myself together, “Well, then. Maybe you don’t need glasses.”
He gave me a smile and let it go. “Something smells amazing,” he said, looking around.
“Lemon bars,” I stated, twisting around to grab them out of the oven, as they timer went off. “However, they won’t be good till tomorrow. They have to be cold,” I continued, with a disappointed pout.
“What made you decide to make them?” Ford asked, grabbing an apple out of the fridge.
“I had a craving. I swear I could eat anything lemon. I have no idea what happened in my last two classes today. All I could think about was lemon stuff. I debated lemon cake and lemon cookies, but I finally settled on lemon bars,” I admitted, slightly ashamed of my obsessive craving, but not enough to actually regret the fact that I’d come home and made them instead of cooking dinner or doing homework.
“Good call. You want to start on your homework, while I make dinner?” he said, heading to the fridge.
“That would be awesome,” I said, sighing, as I settled on the barstool with my notebook. My feet hurt from standing all afternoon, and I wanted to skip my homework, but I had a calculus test the next day.
I watched Ford move around the kitchen making breakfast for us, and I was overcome by a feeling of gratitude. I wouldn’t be here if Ford hadn’t saved me. I truly didn’t know if I’d still be living in my car, or what my life would have become if he hadn’t opened his home to me. Somewhere along the way we’d become a family, and I cherished the feeling.
“So, I stopped by the chancellor’s office to discuss withdrawing from classes. I found out the drop deadline is tomorrow to get a partial refund for the year. I figure I should go ahead and do it, even though I haven’t talked to Dad yet. Better he gets some of his money back
than none of it,” Ford told me, as he fried bacon.
“You think he’ll find out before you can tell him?” I questioned, looking up from my notes.
“I don’t know. I hope not. I’d hate for him to find out that way,” he answered.
“Do you want to tell him sooner?”
“I don’t want to. I’d like to put off seeing his disappointment forever,” he told me, frowning. “I think I’ll stick to the plan. I’d rather tell him face to face. It’ll work out.”
“Ok, you know that bacon smells divine,” I told him, with a hopeful smile. He grinned and handed me a piece. I moaned a little, as I took a bite of the crisp bacon. “I’m going to have to keep you around.”
“Solely for my bacon making skills, right?” he asked, eyebrow raised, spatula in his hand. His t-shirt pulled tight across his chest, as he crossed his arms and cocked his hip against the counter. I was pretty sure there was a cooking magazine somewhere wishing they could have him as a cover model. They’d sell out of copies.
“Mmhmm. Don’t underestimate the power of making bacon,” I said with a straight face.
He smirked at me, “Oh, I know you enjoy my bacon.”
I dissolve into giggles, as he turned back to the stove.
The next afternoon, I got a text from Ford. “Don’t worry about dinner. We’re celebrating tonight!”
I smiled down at my phone, as I replied, “Can’t wait to hear what we’re celebrating!”
“And what are you smiling about?” Olivia asked me, with a smirk. “Or maybe the better question is what aren’t you smiling about? You seem to have a perpetual smile on your face lately.”
“What can I say? Life is good. Well, besides homework,” I replied, with a slight grimace. I had my homework spread across my desk at work. Thank God it was slow today, because I wanted to get everything finished before meeting Ford.
“Yeah, I should probably be doing that myself,” Olivia said, as she shopped online.
“I’m ready to be done,” I sighed, taking a break. “After this semester, I only have to take two courses next semester to graduate. Which I’m sure will be hard with a newborn, but I’m determined to get the courses I need for college.” I laid my hand on my belly. “I’m ecstatic about keeping the baby, but I need to prove that being a teenage mom doesn’t prevent me from getting my degree.”
“Girl, you don’t need to worry. I have no doubt you will succeed. You’ve got more drive than anyone I’ve ever met,” Olivia told me, spinning her chair around to face me. I give her a halfhearted smile and said, “Thank you.”
“Now on to more important things,” Olivia declared, as my eyes widened. “Baby shower planning. Since you’re keeping the bambino, we need to get some stuff. Plus, are you going to find out the gender? Because you are severely restricting my ability to buy adorable baby clothes if I have to stay gender neutral.”
I had no response to the sudden onslaught of questions. I hadn’t thought about any of this. I was still in my happy bubble about keeping the baby.
“I didn’t know.” I finally answered, overwhelmed.
“Unacceptable,” Olivia replied, firmly. “We must decide. You only have a couple months left.”
“I know that! It’s just three days ago I was determined to give the baby up. And now, I’m not,” I replied, exasperated.
“All the more reason to start planning. I think part of you still thinks this is a dream. You haven’t let yourself think about these things, because you didn’t think you’d get to experience them. Now you do, and it’s time to make it a reality,” Olivia informed me, a determined look on her face. I knew there was no point in trying to deter her once she was on a roll, so I gave in as graciously as possible.
“No baby shower. Besides you, I don’t know who else would come,” I told her, a flicker of excitement starting to grow inside me. “And I think I still want to be surprised about the baby’s gender.”
I held up my hands to stem the protests I knew were about to come my way from Olivia’s fashionista self. “If anyone could find the cutest gender neutral everything it would be you,” I said to appease her.
She gave me a narrow eyed look, but finally said, “This was true. You’re handing me a challenge and I accept it,” she sighed gustily, “But I am disappointed about the baby shower. Maybe for the next baby,” she continued, almost to herself, but I heard her and I knew my eyes were huge. Only Olivia would be planning my next baby when I hadn’t had the first one.
“You mean your baby shower,” I told her, tongue in cheek.
“Bite your tongue!” she exclaimed running her hand over her flat abdomen. I started laughing, as she shook her head and frowned at me.
“That’s not funny.” She knocked her fist on the wooden desk. “You’ve given me the shivers with that nonsense.” I bit back my laughter at her shudder. “We’ll go shopping this weekend. You need stuff: A stroller, crib, and the car thingy. Things like that,” she continued, marking it off with her finger as she went.
“Car seat,” I told her helpfully. She looked at me and said, “I said that.”
“No, you said car thingy. I’m pretty sure you meant car seat,” I corrected, as she waved her hand airily, “Semantics.”
“Hmmm, maybe we should go shopping tonight. We are way behind,” Olivia said, searching for paper to write a list.
“Not tonight. I’m celebrating with Ford.”
“Celebrating what?” Olivia replied, looking up from her search.
“I think Ford quitting law school. But I’m not sure. He was supposed to talk to Joe today too,” I responded, handing her a pen. Her mouth dropped open at my admission. “He quit law school? And you’re just now telling me this? I thought that was his dad’s big dream? How did his dad take it? World war three?” she fired at me.
“Welllll, we haven’t told his dad yet” I admitted, looking everywhere but at Olivia’s shocked face.
“Oh my God. But you told them you’re keeping the baby? Right?” Olivia said, trying to catch my eye. “Oh my God, you haven’t!” she screeched. “I can’t believe you. I’m actually kind of proud.”
“Proud? Why are you proud?” I asked, shocked by her unexpected statement.
“You made the decision without parental influence. You’re taking responsibility. I respect that,” Olivia told me. “I completely rely on my dad for support. You and Ford are doing this on your own.” I felt teary eyed at her comments, so I threw my arms around her in a bear hug. She stumbled a bit, but hugged me back.
She pushed me away gently after a minute and looked down at my stomach. “That belly is getting big.” I couldn’t help but laugh at her slight moue of distaste. She’d got me back, but the realities of pregnancy I could keep to myself.
Ford
Chapter Eleven
I headed into the apartment with a spring in my step. I’d met with my advisor this morning and dropped my classes. I had officially withdrawn from school. My advisor assured me that, because I’d withdrawn before the drop date, I could return to school the next semester if I wanted. I knew that would never happen.
Not after talking to Joe this afternoon. I still couldn’t believe what he’d offered me. Hannah was going to be stunned when I told her over dinner.
I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face. Joe had been right. Once I’d made the decision, everything had fallen into place. I thought back to the conversation we’d had that afternoon.
“Hey, Joe,” I called, as I walked into the wood shop.
“Ford, what you doing here so early? I thought you had class all day today,” Joe answered, getting up slowly from the design table.
“Not anymore.” I told him, my smile widening. “I just withdrew from law school.”
“I’m glad to see the day,” Joe said, clapping a hand on my shoulder. “Made any other decisions?” he asked me, with a knowing look.
“Yep. Made a few big decisions this weekend.” I told him, rubbing my hand along my jaw. “I’m going to n
eed that cradle, if you’re still offering it.”
He laughed and exclaimed, “It’s all yours, and I can’t wait to saw the beauty that graces it.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, as I told him, “I hope I’m right, and it’s a girl.”
Joe shouted to the house, “Martha, get out here.” We saw the screen door jump open, as Martha hurried out of the house, a dish towel in her hands. She slowed down when she saw us in the doorway of the shop. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack, old man?” she shouted, flustered. “I thought something happened to you.”
“I’m sorry for scaring you, but we have celebrating to do,” Joe called back to her. Martha reached us and looked between the two of us. “Well, are you going to keep me in suspense?”
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