by Barbara Goss
SILENT LOVE
Barbara Goss
All Bible quotes are from the King James Version of the Holy Bible.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Epilogue
1
Spring 1860
Caroline felt faint. How could this be happening? She’d traveled all the way from Indiana to Independence, Missouri to join a wagon train to Oregon, and now this.
“Mr. Griffin, are you sure Miranda’s condition warrants returning home?”
James Griffin nodded. “She had a seizure, Caroline. I can’t risk crossing the country with a daughter who’s having seizures. This could be serious. She needs medical help.”
Caroline sighed. “I hope Miranda’s all right, but I’ve decided to not go back with you. I can’t go back.”
James said, “Well, I don’t know what you will do then. You can’t join the wagon train without a wagon or supplies, and I’m leaving with ours come sunrise.” He turned to go. “Let me know by dawn if you plan to return with us.”
Caroline nodded, and James Griffin left her sitting in the hotel dining room. What would she do now? She couldn’t afford another night in the hotel. Her best friend’s father had paid all of their expenses. A widower, he'd planned a new life in Oregon for himself and Miranda. Caroline had nagged Miranda for weeks to come along, since her only living relative had already moved to Oregon. Probably to appease Miranda more than anything else, her father had invited Caroline to join them.
Mid-afternoon. Caroline thought a good walk would help her think of a solution. She left the hotel, shielding her eyes from the bright sun. It was warm for a spring day, so she opened her parasol. Since wagon trains readying for the trek to Oregon and California were camped on the outskirts, the town bustled with activity.
She saw men and women loading supply wagons, and people purchasing last minute supplies, checking off lists of items to buy. She decided to walk to where the wagon trains had camped to retrieve her small bundle of possessions from the Griffin wagon. She would not return to Indiana. She grabbed her bundle and proceeded back to the hotel.
Caroline noticed men staring at her as she walked by. Some of them winked at her. She looked at her reflection in a shop window, and then at the other women on the street. It suddenly dawned on her that she was dressed all wrong. The frilly pink chiffon with matching parasol would have to go. Her dark-brown, curly hair should be rolled into a bun instead of cascading freely to her waist. After studying the clothing worn by the other women, she turned into the general store to purchase some cotton dresses and sturdy shoes. She and Miranda had planned to do that today, but Miranda’s illness prevented it.
After paying for her selections, she checked her money. She still had enough left to buy herself an inexpensive meal. After that? Well, she had no idea what she’d do, but she’d find a way onto the wagon train.
Caroline donned a cotton dress, put her hair into a bun, and put on the sturdy shoes. There had to be someone going to Oregon who needed a child-minder or helper. She once more made her way down to the camped wagons. She approached at least twenty wagons, seeking out those with children, but it seemed no one wanted to take a stranger on. She was about to approach some more wagons when she overheard a conversation between two women whom she’d approached previously.
One woman said, “She looks like a pleasant enough young lady, but we only have enough food for ourselves. It would be nice to have help with the children though.”
The other woman laughed. “She’s far too attractive. My husband and teenage son would never keep their eyes on their work with her around."
Once seated in the dining room, Caroline ordered a small bowl of soup, thinking she might save a bit of money for tomorrow’s breakfast. She ate silently, watching the people around her. Most of them were couples or families, but there were three sturdy young men sitting at the table on her right who were talking quite loudly about their wagon train journey, and she couldn’t help but listen.
The two men facing the one who appeared to be the leader were young, but their looks weren't impressive. The leader, however, had medium brown, wavy hair, was clean-shaven, and had sensitive eyes. She listened carefully, hoping to learn something more about their prospective journey.
“Jake, you're exactly what I’m looking for," the leader said to the redheaded man. “You’re hired.”
He turned to the blond man and seemed hesitant. “You don’t have the experience Jake has. This is his second trip west. The journey is arduous. There may be Indians, hard river crossings, broken axles, and illnesses to name a few hardships. Are you sure you can handle it? Have you ever driven a heavily loaded wagon?”
“To be honest,” the blond young man stated, “though I've never been on a wagon train or driven a covered wagon, I am a strong farmer and a hard worker. I’ve driven heavy wagons on the farm,” he added, giving the leader a hopeful look.
The leader rubbed his forehead. “Hmmm… a farmer, huh? Okay, Harry, was it? You’re hired, but I expect nothing less than hard work and no complaining or wasting time. There are plenty of hardships and work ahead, and my freight has to reach Oregon in good condition.”
“It’s Henry, sir,” the blond man corrected.
“Henry, then.” He tapped his fingers on the table in front of him. “By the way, would either of you know where I could find a cook? Can either of you cook or do laundry?”
Both men shook their heads.
“All right.” He sighed, looking discouraged, “Then meet me tomorrow for more instructions. You’ll recognize my wagons. One has household goods and supplies, and the other two are hauling freight. The name ‘Miller’ is written on the side of them.”
After they left, the leader sat there, drinking his beverage and scribbling notes on a paper.
“Excuse me, sir,” Caroline interrupted.
The leader stared at her, obviously puzzled.
“I can cook.”
“You?” He laughed.
She pouted. “Why not?”
“I need a man. It would be highly improper to take you on as a cook." His eyes scanned her from head to toe. “As much as I’d like to,” he added with a smile.
“Oh.” Caroline said, disappointment evident in her voice.
“Why,” the leader asked, “would an attractive young miss like yourself need to hire on as a cook with a bunch of men?”
Caroline sat down at his table, even though she hadn’t been invited to do so. “I need to get to Oregon.”
“Alone?” he asked. He chuckled, as if in disbelief.
Caroline straightened in her chair. “I’m in a predicament.” She folded her hands on the table and explained that she’d come all the way from Indiana with friends, and now her friend, Miranda, had become too ill to continue. She explained that when her friend and her father left for Indiana, she planned on continuing to Oregon, but now she had no way to do that.
He nodded after each pause in her story. When she finished, he looked sympathetic to her plight, and said, “I understand your problem, but I’m sorry, I can’t help you.”
“I’m staying here in the hotel in room five, if you change your mind.”
He nodded with a smile, indicating the end of the interview.
Caroline checked in on her friend in the room next to he
rs. Miranda was lying on one of the two beds in the room with a cloth on her forehead. After inquiring as to her well-being she told her friend of her plans. “I’m not going back to Indiana, Miranda."
“I know. Father said as much. What will you do?”
“Now that my aunt and uncle are dead, I have no family except for my cousin in Oregon. I already wrote Hattie and told her we’d be coming, and she gave me directions to her settlement. I worry about you, but also about how I’ll get to Oregon now.”
“I’ll be fine,” Miranda said. “I've had one seizure and my father insists that I need medical care.” She shrugged. “Promise me you won’t worry about me.”
“I can’t promise that. We planned this trip together and now…" She looked down at the floor and heaved a sigh. “I do think your father's wise to have your condition checked. Maybe the doctors will be able to fix whatever's wrong, and you can join me in Oregon someday. In the meantime, I promise to write.”
Miranda sat up and removed the cloth from her forehead. “I feel fine.” She hesitated before continuing. “But I agree that I should be checked out. The doctor we saw here said I’d need tests that'll have to be done in Chicago.” She folded the cloth and asked, “How will you get to Oregon?”
Caroline explained about the three men she’d seen in the restaurant and her conversation with the leader.
“That's a problem. A young lady can’t possibly travel alone with men, especially if they're strangers. What were you thinking, Carrie?”
“I guess I’m desperate. I thought I could dress up as a boy or something.”
“How would you hide your hair and bosom?”
“Oh, it would be tricky.” Caroline seemed to be thinking.
“I got it, Carrie! You could dress up as an older woman.”
Caroline shook her head. “I’d never pull it off. Can you imagine traveling for five or six months in a costume?”
Miranda nodded.
Caroline remained silent for several moments, thinking, then she brightened with an idea. “I could marry someone going to Oregon.”
“Are you joking?” Miranda laughed. “Marriage is serious and you’d have to stay married to him forever, whether you loved him or not.”
“Not necessarily,” Caroline replied
Miranda looked puzzled. “Excuse me?”
“We could get an annulment in Oregon if we don’t consummate the marriage.”
“If you can find a man to go along with that…” Miranda started to say.
“I can try,” Caroline said.
Miranda laughed, and the two friends hugged. “I’ll miss you, Carrie!”
“And I’ll miss you,” Caroline said tearfully.
The next morning, Miranda had another seizure, postponing the trip back to Indiana. It was unfortunate for Miranda, but fortunate for Caroline, because it gave her another day at the hotel. After checking in on Miranda who was sleeping peacefully, she went to the dining room for breakfast.
She ordered a slice of toast and a cup of tea with the remainder of her money, nearly choking on her tea when she saw the “leader” from yesterday walk in, and approach her table.
He smiled at her, and asked, “Did you find a way to Oregon yet?”
“No.” she replied sadly.
“Mind if I join you?” he asked.
“Not at all.” She pointed to the chair across from her.
“What’s so important in Oregon to make you want to sign on with three men on a wagon train?”
“A cousin.” At his questioning look, she continued, “She’s all the family I have.”
“No parents or siblings, then?”
“My mother died giving birth to me. My father died a few years later, having drunk himself into the grave. He never got over my mother’s death, and I think he couldn’t stand to look at me, thinking I’d caused it.” She blinked away tears. “I lived with an elderly aunt and uncle who've passed on as well.”
“Sorry to hear that,” he said. It sounded like he actually meant it.
Caroline studied him carefully. He was tall, well built physically, an extremely nice face, and brown hair a shade or two lighter than her own. He had eyes that appeared gray, and a small dimple on his chin.
The man rubbed his forehead. “I’ll tell you what I’ll do—I’m going down to check my wagons, and I’ll ask around and see whether any proper families would be willing to take you on.” He hesitated. “Do you have any money or supplies to offer?” She shook her head sadly.
“That might make it harder.” He winked. “I’ll see what I can do. Will you be here for dinner about six?”
“I can be,” she replied hesitantly, reluctant to mention she had no money left for dinner.
“Good. See you then.” He smiled, and added, “My treat.”
2
Simon Miller thought about the young lady as he walked to his wagons. She was attractive, that was for sure, but his motivation to help her stemmed from sympathy at her situation. He couldn’t imagine being alone in the world. For some reason he felt a strong need to help this woman. He thought about his own parents and six siblings. The third of four brothers and two sisters, he fondly remembered the enjoyment they had growing up in St. Louis. His father owned a lumberyard. What fun they had playing hide and seek between the lumber stacks.
The settlers in Oregon badly needed furniture, household furnishings, and flour, so he'd invested in enough to sell and make a profit. Flour, a rare commodity there, would fetch a good price. People were fighting to get their hands on bread in Oregon. He hoped this would be his last trip, for the journey was arduous and dangerous. If he made enough money, he’d buy himself a lumberyard, or apply for a land grant and take up farming. He wanted to be financially settled before taking a wife and starting a family.
While his first trip to Oregon was rough, he’d heard the trip had become easier. He hoped it was true. He wasn’t looking forward to the changing weather and climbing up mountains, pushing a heavy wagon. There was always the threat of Indians, although it became less and less of a threat as time wore on. People were more educated now as to what to bring, and how to cope than they were ten years ago. Fortunately, he had found an experienced wagon train master with a reputation better than any. His train would be comprised of over sixty wagons, the wagon master even had to hire several scouts, and there was safety in numbers.
Simon returned to the wagons lining up in preparation for the trek, and approached several families to inquire about taking a young woman in to help with cooking, child minding, and laundry while on the trail, but all he received were refusals. He shrugged, and went about his own business, trying to find a cook and a person who would do his chores while on the trail. He turned back to town, discouraged. Surely there must be someone needing a free ride to Oregon besides the young woman. It was not possible for one person to cook, wash dishes, do laundry, maintain the wagon, care for the animals, harness the oxen, and meet with the captain to get daily instructions. In order to push the wagons up the mountains, he’d need another pair of hands. Who would gather firewood? He wondered if he would eventually grow desperate enough to take the young woman on, despite his better judgment. On his last trip he had been lucky enough to hire a young man who'd caught gold fever to do those duties, but his luck seemed to have run out this time around.
Simon posted notices all over Independence and questioned as many men as he could in town, but no one accepted his job offer. Some men laughed at him for even suggesting they do a woman’s work. He checked his timepiece and decided it was time to meet the young lady at the hotel, but it looked as if they were both out of luck.
Caroline greeted Simon with hopeful eyes.
“Sorry,” he said. “By the way, my name is Simon Miller. I’m from St. Louis.”
“Nice to meet you, Simon Miller. I’m Caroline Goodwin of Appleton, Indiana.”
“Caroline! What a beautiful name. I have a sister named Caroline.”
“Thank you, Mr. Miller.
Please tell me, did you have any luck finding me a family to travel with?"
“I had no luck with your situation, or my own, unfortunately.” He motioned for the waiter and proceeded to order the special of the day. “And what would you like for dinner, Caroline?”
“Oh, I couldn’t impose…”
“Nonsense, you need to have a decent meal. I saw your skimpy breakfast this morning.” He turned to the waiter, “She’ll have the same.”
"Tell me about your wagons. Why do you have three of them?” she asked.
“This is my second trip hauling supplies to Oregon. On my first trip, I hauled supplies for the general store, along with a whole wagon of food tins. This trip, I’m hauling flour, and a wagon full of household furniture and furnishings. They're both in high demand by the pioneers. Most travelers don’t have room to carry much with them on the trains, and some of them lose what they did have somewhere along the way,”
”What's it like in Oregon?”
“It’s all they say it is…lush green grass, fertile soil, fruit trees, and good, clean air. It really is beautiful. You’ll love it there. The weather's much fairer there, too.”
Caroline studied the man before her. She quite liked his looks. An idea came to mind that made her eyes light up in excitement. “Simon, I have an idea that may solve both of our problems.”
Simon raised his eyebrows.
“We could pretend to be married. You’ll get your domestic help, and I’ll get to Oregon. Problem solved.”
“Whoa!” he cried. “Married?” He laughed. “How do you pretend that?”
“Simple! We’ll tell everyone we met and got married here, in Independence, and that I’m joining my ‘husband’ on his trip to Oregon.”
Simon shook his head. “That’s ridiculous.”
Caroline gave him a crestfallen look. “Why? It’s the only solution for both of us that I can see.”
“I must be out of my head,” he said, “to even consider your idea. Nevertheless, I am desperate.”
