by Tricia Goyer
“Why? I thought you liked me.” I knew that sounded ridiculous. “Did I offend you?”
Joseph pushed to the edge of the chair. “First, she don’t fit here.” He ignored my question. “She’s a rich city girl. We’ve all had to do extra chores to make up for her…lack of ability.”
He was chipping away at me. What would be next?
I glanced at Janey, Linc—surely one of them would contradict him.
“Second, she broke the outhouse.”
Seemingly unable to keep his peace, Linc stood. “That was my fault, Joseph. And you know it.”
“Hush. We decided I’d talk.”
“I didn’t decide anything. I don’t think this is fair.”
“Sit down, Linc, so I can tell Papa the third.”
“There will be no third.” Clay didn’t move from his chair. He didn’t raise his voice. He didn’t pound his fist. But everyone knew—it was time to be quiet. “Son, I don’t know what got you run so afoul, but this is going to stop. Now.”
Joseph glared at his father. Then with a slow look at the others, he lifted a letter from his pocket. He flashed it in my direction first, as if accusing me. I recognized the handwriting at once.
It was from James.
Ginny scowled as she glanced down at the next letter and saw James’s unfamiliar handwriting. She’d all but forgotten about Ellie’s spineless former fiancé. Why did he have to come back? Why now of all times?
January 26, 1929
Ellie my love,
Whether at home in San Francisco or away, the sky is always gray as if the sun refuses to shine. How could it, when the only sunshine in my life has gone to the far-off regions of the Arctic? Why, after you accepted my offer of marriage, did I let you leave me?
Come back, my sweet Ellie. Come back today. There’s nothing we can’t overcome together. I’ll work everything out with Mother. In fact, her opinion of you has changed of late. She only speaks with kindness. I knew she’d come around.
Most importantly, I’m sorry for how I treated you. Surely you can forgive me. After all, it wasn’t you who called off the engagement, but me—silly, stupid me. I promise I will make you the happiest girl in the world. We’ll buy that house, and your grandfather is welcome to stay. Yes, my dear, I’m asking you once again to marry me.
Come back to me, my love. Make me the happiest man in the world.
Yours,
James
* * * * *
A heaviness hung in the air even as Brett came to pick her up. Ginny tried to force a smile. She told herself it was the letters—that she was mad at that horrible James for butting in—but it was more than that.
The more time she spent with Brett, the more questions arose—where was this leading? Would she return to LA and would he go on to Africa?
She offered Brett a hug as he entered the front door, and as she stepped back, she noticed questions in his eyes too.
“Ready?” he asked.
“Yes, I’m starving. Let’s go.”
They waved to the two women sitting on the porch swing and had almost made it to Brett’s truck when Dove Fowler rose, balancing on one foot and waving her hand. “Oh, Ginny, Ginny. I almost forgot. I have a message for you.”
Ginny glanced back, brushing her hair back over her shoulder, the bracelets on her arm clinking as she did.
“A phone message?” Her brow furrowed. Who would have called?
Horror reflected on Grandma Ethel’s face. Eyes wide, lips pressed tight, she tugged on Dove’s arm. Dove brushed Ethel’s hand away.
“Oh yes, dear, it was someone named Danny. He said he’s been calling for days and leaving messages.”
“Danny?” The name dropped from her lips. She looked at Brett, who climbed into the truck, pretending he didn’t hear. Then she turned back to Dove.
“Thank you, Dove. I’ll make sure to call him tomorrow.” Then Ginny offered a smile to Grandma Ethel, wondering how many voice mail messages the sweet lady had deleted.
And also wondering whether she was mad or happy about that fact.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
.......................
Tucked into the wooded hillside, Glacier Bay Lodge was much bigger than it had looked from the boat. Two sets of stairs led Ginny and Brett from the gravel driveway to the front entrance. As they mounted the stairs, she noticed a network of wooden walkways leading out to guest cabins. More beauty greeted her when they walked inside and gazed across the seating and dining areas to a wall of windows looking out over the bay.
“Hey guys, welcome.” A college-aged woman with light brown hair approached them. “Brett, Ginny, I’ve saved my best table for you.”
“Thanks, Amy.” Brett reached up and patted her shoulder. “Filling in for someone in the dining room today?” They followed Amy to the center table along the large glass window. The view took Ginny’s breath away, and she could see why it was the best table in the house.
“Yeah.” Amy handed them menus after they sat. “My friend Paulette is out on a date, and I’m filling in for her. She’s been dating one of the local guys most of the summer and is leaving tomorrow.” Amy released a breath. “I should be happy someone found love at Glacier Bay.” The woman eyed Ginny curiously.
Ginny chuckled nervously. Would she ever get used to walking into a place and already being known—not for which producer she dated, but for her heart? Her friendship?
She’d miss that when she returned to LA…miss people talking to her instead of about her. Then again, maybe the people here just didn’t speak what they thought.
She considered what Brett had said—that people in the historical society had pretended they didn’t know who she was. What had they thought when they saw her? Oh, there’s that girl who dumped the most eligible bachelor in Gustavus….
Thankfully, she didn’t have to worry about that long. Within minutes Amy brought them salads and crab cakes.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I called ahead and told them to prepare my favorites.” He tilted his head, smiled. “Which I knew you would love.”
“Are you kidding?” She took a big bite of the crab cake and smiled. “I was hoping we didn’t have to wait too long for food.”
They chatted about their trip up the bay, and Brett shared some of his adventures—confrontations with bears, the times he’d gotten lost hiking, and amazing whale sightings.
“I’m bummed you saw only one whale from a distance. Earlier this summer we had twenty-eight who were regular guests, feeding right here in the bay.”
“I’ll have to come earlier next summer. I’d love to see that.”
Brett paused with his fork halfway to his mouth. “You’re coming back?”
She winked at him. “Who knows, maybe I’ll never leave…” Laughter spilled out. “Honestly, Brett, Glacier Bay isn’t just a place you visit for a few days and never think about again.”
Amy served grilled salmon next, but Ginny had a hard time eating. Even as they made small talk, she could see Brett had something more he wanted to discuss.
She leaned forward, lightly resting her arms on the table, and cocked her head. “You may be talented at many things, Mr. Wilderness, but hiding your feelings isn’t one of them. Spill it.”
Brett ran a hand down his face, apparently relieved. “I know why you’re here, Ginny.” His voice was barely above a whisper. Then he reached across the table and took her hand, running his thumb over her fingers.
“You do?” Her brow wrinkled and she cocked an eyebrow, waiting for him to elaborate.
“Wasn’t last week the anniversary…of your parents’ death?”
Her breath escaped unwillingly. “You remembered? I can’t believe you remembered that.”
“Of course I remembered. You were important to me.”
“Were?”
“You still are, but I’m telling myself not to get my hopes up.” He released her hand and took a roll from the bread basket, then buttered it. “You’re heading ba
ck to LA soon….”
She nodded, agreeing with him, but then felt the pang of an early headache in her right temple. Traffic, the work schedule, the people… how could she return to all that after being here?
“I do have to go back,” she said, for her own benefit as much as for his.
“Of course you do. Your music is important to you.”
“You’re important to me too, Brett. I hoped my coming here was enough to show you that.”
“Ginny.” He lowered his head and let out a sigh. Then he placed the bread on his plate and pushed the plate back slightly. “You came here because I’m the only one who truly understands about your parents. You were missing them, they weren’t around, and so you came looking for me.”
“Is that what you think? How do you know I haven’t told other people about them? I mean, it’s been a couple of years…”
“Do you remember how long it took you to tell me about them—about their deaths—about your siblings? Months. Maybe a year.” His voice was soft, his eyes kind. “And perhaps it’s a stereotype, but I have an idea of what LA is like. In my mind, people are too busy about making names for themselves to consider other people. They’re too busy talking to listen.”
She wanted to argue. To say he was wrong. The only problem was Brett wasn’t wrong. Even her closest friends didn’t know her deepest pain.
“Maybe you’re right. Maybe that is why I came. Is there anything wrong with that?”
“Nope. None at all. But if that’s the case then this has to stop.”
“What?”
“You being so good to my grandma. Caring so much about Ellie’s letters. Looking so beautiful. Getting my hopes up.”
A rush of warmth hit her cheeks. She jutted out her chin. “What would you say if I claimed you were doing the same thing…getting my hopes up by being so kind, so handsome?”
Brett released a long sigh and focused on her eyes. “Is it really getting your hopes up, Ginny, when I’ve never backed away from my commitment of giving all of me—all my heart—to you?”
His dark eyes studied hers, and he waited. Hope widened his pupils, and she knew what he wanted her to say—that she wanted to try again. She knew now that her coming here had nothing to do with getting advice. Heck, she’d hardly mentioned the contract.
“I—I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t know, or you’re afraid? Dale and Robyn left you, but not by their own choosing. You have to trust that someone, sometime, is going to stick around. You have to be willing to open your heart.”
She nodded, but inside a thousand worries crashed through her head. She couldn’t face giving him everything, just to be stripped bare.
“The saddest part of a crumbling shack is the laughter that once held up the walls.” The words emerged in a melody, and Brett’s eyebrows rose. Two women from a neighboring table turned, and Ginny realized then that she’d sung it louder than she intended.
“But at least someone took the risk and opened the door.” Brett’s voice was sharp. “And opened it wider to let others step inside.” He lifted his napkin from his lap, crumpled it, and placed it to the side of his plate. He looked at her, disappointed. The look was familiar. She’d seen it all her life.
“Excuse me.” A middle-aged woman from the neighboring table leaned closer. She and her friend wore hiking clothes and looked as if they’d been out on some hiking trail for most of the day. “Are you Ginny Marshall? I love that song. I saw you perform it on the Today show. I can’t believe you made Matt Lauer cry.”
Ginny shrugged. “Everyone feels a loss when they think about the home that no longer is—realizing they didn’t appreciate what they had when they had it.” Her publicist had helped her come up with that line. It always made people cry. As if on cue, moisture filled the women’s gazes.
Ginny brushed her hair back over her shoulder and flashed a smile. “But let’s not let that song make us melancholy.” She pointed to the woman’s camera sitting on the tabletop. “Would you like a photo with the three of us?”
“Would you?” The woman’s ponytail swished as she stood. She motioned to her friend, then handed her camera to Brett. “Would you mind?”
“Of course not.”
Ginny stood, and the women huddled on each side of her as if they were close friends. She had no doubt it would be up on Facebook in less than an hour.
Brett held the camera out, focusing on the screen. “Say cheese.”
“Cheese,” rang out in unison.
Handing the camera back, he was polite, but as they sat she could read the thoughts behind his gaze.
He thinks I’m running…running from my feelings. Running from the truth.
Ginny took a sip of her water. The women thanked her again and then returned to their own table.
Yet she wasn’t one to deny the truth. The truth was…Brett was right.
* * * * *
They finished dinner and dessert in near silence, storm clouds rolling in faster than she’d thought possible. The beautiful bay turned as dark as Ginny’s thoughts. Brett wanted her to make the same commitment. For her to say that she wasn’t getting his hopes up, that she did want to invest in their relationship. But something held her back. Maybe because of what awaited her in LA. Maybe because he was still planning to go to Africa, and that was no longer her heart’s desire.
He hadn’t even mentioned Africa—once their dream. He no doubt knew it would scare her off faster than a grizzly lumbering her direction. After living the life she’d been living, Glacier Bay was primitive enough.
Yet how could she voice her mixed emotions? Brett had accused her of coming to Glacier Bay because she missed her parents, and then he acted as if she didn’t care for him at all, never cared. What could she say to help him understand?
“Do you know when you’re heading back to LA?” His question was simple.
“Not exactly, although they are expecting me in a few days.” She didn’t tell him the ‘they’ was Danny. Brett’s fist clenched on the table-top, and she figured he already knew.
“But you are going back. I expected you would since your life is there—your fans. But do you want to?”
The question hung in the air. She opened her mouth and then closed it again. She wanted to tell him that her whole life everything had been decided for her. She’d been told where to live, whom to call Mom and Dad, what toys to like. It was easier to live that way still. To show up at the studio when she was told. To say what the publicist suggested. To wear the dress that arrived at her doorstep. To meet Danny at the restaurant of his choice at the correct time.
She wasn’t Ellie. Wasn’t brave. She couldn’t open her heart to another and risk it. Didn’t he realize only a thin sliver of her heart remained?
Brett cleared his throat. “I asked if you wanted to go back. Aren’t you going to say anything?”
“What do you want me to say, Brett? I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know…” She let her words trail off. About us.
He lowered his head. “I don’t want you to say anything, Ginny. Don’t know why I’d suspect you would.”
On the two-mile drive home, the tension between them grew.
Outside, rain pelted the windshield. A storm raged and lightning zagged in the dark sky beyond the trees. She imagined it was on a night like this that the National Guard plane Linda had told her about went down.
Fear gripped her as the wind howled and rain seemed to come out of nowhere. She’d never been fearful of storms before, but this one caused her knees to quiver. Or maybe it was the storm raging in Brett’s eyes.
“I don’t know why you don’t believe I care for you. I was ready to marry you.” The words rushed from his mouth, pounding like the rain. “I don’t know why you don’t believe I’m certain of my commitment. You didn’t then. You don’t now.” He reached up and turned on the defroster to keep the windshield from fogging up. “You want to be loved, Ginny, but anytime someone shows it to you, it bo
unces off like rain from this windshield.”
Brett ran his fingers through his hair, then pounded a fist on the steering wheel. “I hoped you were coming to me, Ginny, but seeing the look in your eyes at dinner—I know the truth. You are running from Danny Kingston. Running from yet another person who tried to express his affection. You are running from the fans who love you, for fear that someday another pretty singer will take your place. I’m sorry to say I fell for it.” Brett shrugged. “You’re never going to find what you’re looking for if you’re not willing to open up…to crack open that hard shell.”
His words stopped. She glanced over at him. His face was a gray shadow, his jaw tight.
“Go ahead. Continue. Put me in my place. A place that’s well within your reach. You’ve always wanted to keep me under your thumb. To hold me back.”
“That’s not true.”
“Yeah, you can say that, but you’re the only one who told me not to go to LA. Everyone else believed in me.” Ginny faced him while he drove. “There are people who still believe in me. Who think I can make something of myself. Something big.”
The wipers squeaked against the glass, and Brett’s fists gripped the steering wheel. She turned back to face straight ahead. And just when she was certain he wasn’t going to respond, the truck jerked forward as he slammed on the brakes.
She stretched out her hands to brace herself, but there was no need. They’d only been going twenty-five miles per hour, the speed limit. She returned her hands to her lap, glancing in the side mirror. There weren’t headlights for as far as she could see behind them, or in front of them. She supposed the middle of a dark road was as good a place as any to let it all out.
“Don’t you understand? I wish you would listen to me. I wish you could take my words deep inside.” His voice cracked, and he sounded as if his heart was broken into a thousand pieces. The emotion in his voice surprised her. A lump rose in her throat.
“What I had to tell you then is what I want to tell you now. You don’t have to prove yourself. You don’t have to make something of yourself.” He looked away out the side window and then turned back to her. “You’re amazing just as you are, Ginny. You don’t need a big contract or a concert tour to prove that. God made something special when He made you.”
