Rose tensed, and she opened her mouth in reply but closed it again as she changed her mind.
“Sorry, now I’ve gotten too personal,” he mumbled, afraid that she’d clam up completely and leave.
“It’s not an easy question,” Rose said. “But you’re right, I mistook you for him. You are as alike as two peas.”
People looked similar to each other, and like two peas if they were twins, but that he should be the spitting image of another man surprised Dave. “Really?” he squeaked.
Rose smiled a melancholy smile. “Yeah. It wasn’t the pain or the dark.”
Dave shifted a little. “So you’re looking at me and seeing him?” Disappointment washed over him. Of course that explained why Rose had been so eager to give him her numbers, and to talk to him.
“Yes and no. You’re... different. Your sadness is different.”
“My sadness.”
Rose brushed back some locks of hair the breeze had worked out of her untidy knot. “I wouldn’t have given him coffee for fear of him bouncing off the walls. He talked a mile a minute and he could be up one minute and down the next. His hair was crazy, as if it had a will of its own, and... You’re so calm and measured and gentle. The Doctor, he could be exhausting because he didn’t sleep. You...” she finally stopped.
“I’m like his evil twin.”
“No! No, you’re not. You’re... you,” she said, a bit lost for words. “I’d like to get to know you better, because already, his image is fading, and...”
It dawned on him then, but still Dave wasn’t sure if he wanted to be the consolation prize. “You lost him.”
The tension melted off Rose as she nodded, struggling with the breeze and her hair. “Yeah.”
“What happened?”
Rose sipped her coffee thoughtfully. “I can’t tell you. Not yet. I need... time because I don’t want to mess things up between us.”
“Us?” he echoed dumbly. She’d been telling him that he was the spitting image of the man she’d obviously loved and lost and she was referring tothem — whatever they were — as us?
Rose looked at him, horrified. “I was hoping there was an us. As... friends?”
“I...” he began, not knowing what to say. He really liked Rose, and he was beginning to suspect that he more than just liked her. He wasn’t sure he wanted to be just her friend. But on the other hand she’d just compared him to her lost love. He couldn’t possibly fill a dead man’s shoes. He didn’t have the energy for that, and... what was he thinking? Rita’s loss was still hurting and making it hard to breathe at night. “I’m not sure that’s what I want. I’m not sure what I want.”
The horror in Rose’s face made way for dejection. “No, I suppose not.” She smiled bravely at him. “It was stupid of me to think that you’d want to be with me. I mean, you’ve only just lost your wife, and... I’m sorry, Dave.”
“It hasn’t been that long for you either, has it?” he asked softly.
“It’s complicated.”
Dave frowned.
Rose reached out to cup his cheek.
“I can’t tell you now. I want to tell you, but now is not the time. It’s just too much, yeah?” she said, meeting his gaze so he could see the sincerity of her words.
“You are a mystery, Rose Tyler,” he said.
Before she could answer, her phone rang and she picked up the call. It was work-related, she’d explained, so he got up as she talked and gathered his things to go. As he bent to pick up his bag, he brushed a kiss over her cheek and whispered to her that he’d see her at the studio the next day. Then he walked away.
He needed some time to think before he had to pick up Lucy at the Observatory Gardens car park.
Chapter 9
While he’d felt restless wandering around the Waverley concourse, he was upset now. That seemed to be his default state these days. Binning his empty cup, he decided to walk around the New Town. He’d have to be at the car park only in an hour but he might as well be nearby to make sure he was on time. Wandering around the streets lost in thought as he was, He’d be likely to lose track of time and he didn’t want to be late.
He hadn’t lied to Rose when he’d said he wasn’t sure what he wanted. The pain of losing Rita was still so raw and he missed her all the time. It was far too soon to be with anyone else. He wanted to get to know Rose, and already he knew that he didn’t just want to be friends with her. He wanted more, and that scared and embarrassed him. Rose was a clever and warm person, but he was also attracted to her. He’d never liked the idea of friendship with extras because he could see about a hundred things that could go wrong. He certainly wanted more than just the warmth of a friend. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t want sex. He did, but he had never been one for casual encounters.
It was good to know that Rose was in a similar situation. She, too, had lost her lover. Maybe they could just get to know each other and take it from there when the time was right. As he walked, Dave’s internal monologue continued working to come to terms with the idea that he was the spitting image of the man in Rose’s past. How was he to determine if her interest was directed at him and not just looking for a replacement for the man she had referred to only as doctor? From their encounters so far, Dave was pretty sure that Rose was not the type to play with him like that, but sometimes loneliness could make you do out-of-character things. But he was lonely too. Were they looking to each other to alleviate their own loneliness for the wrong reasons? He did want to make her feel less lonely because he was with her, and he hoped Rose wanted to be with him for the same reason. Besides, she had already told him that he was entirely different from the man she had referred to only as doctor; and still she wanted to be with him.
Rose had said that she had been stupid to think that he would want to be with her.
He didn’t want to be her consolation prize, and she had realised her mistake, how her behaviour must have come across. Dave froze. She wanted to be with him. That was what she had said, only he hadn’t been listening properly. It wasn’t Rose who was stupid. He was the one who had ben stupid. He’d been so busy trying to figure out what she’d said about her doctor that he’d missed what she was really trying to say.
Mentally kicking himself, he realised that he would have to apologise to her when they met at the studio the next day — if she still wanted to come, that was. If she didn’t show up, he’d not pursue her like he did with Rita. He wasn’t up to playing games. Life was too short for that, to say nothing about his lack of energy to engage in a complicated courtship. He had his business to attend to, and five children to look after. When he went to bed at night he was so exhausted he didn’t even read any more. He would read to Evie when she wanted a bedtime story, but that was about it. He wanted Rita back so badly, to read while she was writing in her diary and to cuddle and make love to her when she was finished.
Dave stopped and rubbed his hand over his eyes.
Michelle was right. What he wanted came last. He’d known that, of course, but still she’d had to drive it home. He wished he could talk to her about Lucy. He also wanted to talk to someone about Rose, to sort out his thoughts — but there was no one. The only other person with whom he had discussed things lately was Rose herself — and he could hardly ask her for advice.
He bought another coffee and passed the time browsing books at one of the bookshops. There were quite a few novels that caught his attention, but despite the tempting three-for-two offer he left the shop without buying anything. Rose, he thought as he went back to his car, must have caught the train to Glasgow.
Shortly after he had stowed his camera equipment in the boot, Stuart pulled into the space next to him in his flashy silver coupé. His heart broke when he saw them embracing as they said good-bye with a hug and a kiss. Stuart merely waved at him, but this time, Dave refrained from returning the gesture. Lucy was beaming as she stepped toward him, but mixed in her smile was the realisation that now she would have to go back to her life
in the slightly messy house on Hillingdon Drive.
“Hey,” he said, smiling despite everything.
“Hi.”
“So... how did it go?” he asked.
“Good.” She watched Stuart reverse and drive away.
Rose’s words about not letting Lucy brush him off flitted through his mind, but he didn’t know how to do that for fear of pushing Lucy away. She already thought that he was a control freak and he didn’t want to compound that idea. “I know that it’s a bit soon but if you want to talk about what has happened today I’d be happy to listen. You know that, aye?”
“Yeah,” she said, looking out of the window. Dave pulled out of the lot and concentrated on the traffic. They spent the rest of the journey in silence.
-:-
Rose sat stunned, staring at her phone for a while. She’d barely been able to concentrate on the call after Dave had made such a hasty exit. If he hadn’t kissed her and whispered the confirmation of the next day’s appointment to her she’d have thought she’d seen him for the last time. He had taken the news that he looked like the Doctor better than she’d anticipated but of course it must have been a blow. For a moment there she’d debated not answering his question, but waiting would only make it worse and give Dave all kinds of ideas why she was so reluctant to talk to him. Goodness knows what he was thinking now, apart from the obvious.
She didn’t want him to be like the Doctor. Thinking back to the lunch they’d shared she remembered that not once had she looked at him and seen the Doctor. He had always been Dave Tiler for her after she’d realised in hospital that the walls between the universes were sealed off forever. Dave was only partially right when he’d assumed that her loss had been recent — the finality of it was because hope dies last. But in fact she’d lost him years ago.
It saddened her that the Doctor’s image had started to fade long ago, together with other tiny things about him. Like the sound of his voice. That was something Dave had reminded her of, but then there was a different quality to his voice; it was in part due to his accent, but Dave also seemed more measured and calm. He looked like the Doctor, but they couldn’t be more different.
She had messed things up by telling him.
As she slipped on her sunglasses, she decided that she really hadn’t messed things up. She had, however, been clumsy in the way she told him. Now she needed to find a way to make it clear that they really were nothing at all alike and that when she looked at him she saw Dave, not her lost love.
Rose finished her nearly cold coffee with a shudder and gathered her things to leave. If she hurried a bit she might be just in time to catch the next train to Glasgow. She wished she could head straight home from the station but Mickey’s call had been to let her know that he’d meet her at the station. They had picked up a source of mylobam radiation that needed to be contained. It was a job the boys could easily have accomplished without her but apparently Jake had discovered a promising asset for the new Glasgow branch, and the two men wanted her to be there when they assessed him in the field.
“Him?” Rose had asked, distractedly playing with a tuft of grass.
“Yeah,” Mickey had replied, his grin audible.
Rose had sighed. “Right. I’ll call again from the train to let you know when I’ll be there.”
Mickey had sounded a little disappointed at her reply. He had been trying to draw her out of her shell, to make her go out and meet people, but she had been so focused on the dimension cannon that she had been reluctant to form any new relationships that would make leaving even more difficult than it already was. Also she felt she needed all her wits about her for the test runs, and so she had avoided any distractions. It had taken Mickey and Jake a long time to accept that. Of course, by trying to get her to socialise they had wanted her to think things over and not leave after all. She’d known that all along, and because she’d been touched by that gesture, she had felt guilty for refusing them so stubbornly.
Pulling her suitcase behind her after she’d picked it up at the left-luggage office, she thought with a sigh that Mickey’s good humour had told her that the promising asset was promising on more than just the professional level. Although she was ready to move on now she didn’t want to meet anyone. Anyone apart from Dave, that was, but only the next evening would show if he was still interested in her.
She made the train, and not quite an hour later Mickey met her at Queen Street station with a hug and a kiss. “It’s good to have you back,” he said, taking her suitcase.
“It’s good to be back. I can’t wait to set up things,” Rose said, grinning. Her thirst for action surprised her. She had been eager to set up a proper Glasgow branch since she’d spoken to Pete about it on Monday, but as the week had worn on, the paperwork and red tape they’d had to go through had dampened her enthusiasm considerably. If there was one thing she hated it was paperwork and red tape. Luckily, Pete and some of the lawyers and advisers had helped move things along and so she carried the paperwork in her suitecase, and they were good to go. “So, tell me about him,” she said as she buckled into the passenger seat of the single Torchwood car loose on the streets of Glasgow. It was a huge monster of an SUV that Rose intended to get rid of. It was just too masculine and it devoured vast amounts of fuel without offering anything that a smaller vehicle didn’t.
“His file is in the side pocket if you want to read it,” Mickey said, starting the car and pulling into the traffic.
“I’d rather you tell me about him. Just the facts, no opinion. I want to meet him unbiased,” Rose said, brushing her fingers over the buff-coloured folder tucked into the side-pocket of the door.
“He’s the doctor who treated you after your accident,” Mickey said after a pause.
“Oh.” He wasn’t dating material then.
“He asked a lot of good questions to be able to give you the best possible treatment. He was also quite surprised at your swift recovery; and the fact that you stopped it before the scars could disappear,” Mickey said.
Rose pushed the errant lock of hair back. “He did a great job, but the scars are none of his business,” she said.
“We also called on him when Jake was bitten by an Uggsomegaut on Wednesday.”
That statement earned him her full attention. “What?” Uggsomegauts were what they had named a lumbering creature the size of a boar that had settled in the Highlands. To the locals, they were a mythical beast, but luckily there were enough mentions in the relevant literature to give the team at least a basic idea of what they were up against. Uggsomegauts were ugly but basically peaceful, and the one that had attacked Jake had only done so because its nest had been disturbed by some teenagers from the city who were bored and looking to wreak havoc.
An Uggsomegaut’s saliva contained a hallucinogenic poison that caused nasty inflammations, which was why a bite had to be treated as quickly as possible. They had only discovered the Uggsomegauts were for real a couple of years ago, so they went after every bit of information they could get about the beasts. Luckily, treating the bite wasn’t complicated but it needed a special salve that only a fully trained doctor could provide.
“And so you called on Henley,” Rose stated matter-of-factly after Mickey had given her the basics of the Uggsomegaut incident. Henley, Rose had to admit, had done an excellent job at treating her. She knew it was silly to have qualms about having him on the team because of what had happened a month before. Chances were that he would have to treat her again, and in that case it would be good, actually, to have someone she could trust, who knew her and her body. He definitely wasn’t dating material.
“Yeah. Shouldn’t we have? Torchwood down in London cleared him,” Mickey said.
“No, ‘s all right. I think he’d be great to have on the team, but,” she said, brushing her hair back, “please don’t hire him for the wrong reasons.”
“And those are?” he asked, never taking his eyes off the other cars.
“Mickey, you and Jake have be
en trying to find me a man. Which is incredibly nice of you, and touching, but I’d like to do that myself, yeah?”
The muscles in Mickey’s cheek flexed as he listened. “So are you telling me you’re looking for someone?”
Rose wanted to chastise him, but instead she opted for a simple, “Yeah.”
He looked at her briefly, grinning. “Good! I’m happy to hear that.”
That, Rose thought, had been surprisingly easy.
Rose recognised the neighbourhood where Mickey was taking them at once. It was the street of derelict and abandoned warehouses in which Dave had found her after the dimension cannon had exploded. She exchanged glances with Mickey, who merely shrugged. He pulled up outside a tall, once-white building that had holes where the windows had once been. Jake and Dominic Henley were already waiting for them, each of them had a large black case by their feet.
Bigger on the inside: Space, Time Travel, Alien Criminals (A Space Time Travel Mystery Book 1) Page 9
