“Why do you have such a big place?” Dave asked.
“The TARDIS, the Doctor’s ship, was vast. I got used to it,” Rose said. She realised too late that all he had was probably a very small place. She didn’t know nearly enough about him.
“I’d feel uncomfortable wandering the house by myself,” Dave said, so Rose gave him them the grand tour.
He checked his watch when, eventually, they ended up in the kitchen again. “I’m... I’m sorry I need to go. I’m going to hire an au pair and she’s due at the house in a little bit,” Dave said.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, one of my... ah... babysitters, my ex-wife, is moving away and I need someone to look after the house while I’m at work.”
Rose leaned against the counter. Of course, a man like Dave would would have more than one child. The ex-wife came as a surprise, though. A man like Dave was bound to have a past, so she nodded. The ex-wife might account for his reluctance to open up to her.
He looked at her, horrified. “We need to get back some normalcy. I’ve neglected the studio far too much, and I think it’s time to... try to move on.”
“That sounds... good.”
“Ah, I don’t know. My friend Sarah suggested the interview. Apparently, the au pair doesn’t get along with the family she’s currently working for. I’m not sure what to make of that.”
“It’s only an interview, right?” Rose asked, shrugging. “Nothing to lose.”
“Aye, I suppose you’re right.”
They went into the hall and he sat on the steps to put on his boots. “We didn’t get to discuss the project.”
“You’ve got a head full of new ideas,” Rose pointed out. “Why not let them simmer a while. And I told you I want to be part of it.”
Dave stood, closing the distance between them. “You mean that, don’t you?”
She looked at him, sorrow clasping her heart on his behalf. “I do.”
“Thank you.”
He leaned down for a kiss.
Then he was gone.
Chapter 14
Sarah and Lottie arrived before he had a chance to put on a vest and a shirt. His jumper carried the smell of Rose's shower gel, and for a brief, panicked moment he wondered if Sarah would pick up on the slightly flowery note. The last thing he wanted was to give her the wrong idea, the idea that he was seeing someone so soon after Rita's death. Which he was, in a way, and yet not. He could still feel Rose's lips on his, their seeking pressure, and his senses filled with her scent.
Evie welcomed him with a kiss and a hug, and she whispered, "You smell good, Daddy.”
He flushed. “Ye think?”
Through the frosted pane of the door he saw Sarah's car pull up out front. He let go of Evie to open the door for them. He greeted Sarah with a kiss and held out his hand for Lottie.
“Hello," the young woman said with a warm smile that reached her blue eyes. The most striking thing about her was her fiery red hair, held back by a red paisley headband. Her dreadlocks came down to her shoulders. He looked briefly at Evie to see her reaction. She was smiling broadly at their guest
“Hello. I'm Dave," he managed to say. "And this my youngest, Evie.”
“What's your name?” Evie asked.
“Charlotte, but everyone calls me Lottie,” she said.
“I like your hair!” Evie said. “Can you do mine?”
“Why don't we have a little chat first, hmm?” Dave said, partly relieved that Lottie passed Evie's instant I-like-you test. He gestured for them to go to the lounge, where the other three were already waiting for them. Ewan was reading his book, but when Paul had to nudge him twice to catch his attention it was quite clear that Ewan was really engrossed in the story rather than just dutifully following the plot.
Dave escaped briefly to make tea for them, and Sarah followed him into the kitchen.
“Someone smells good,” she said, getting mugs out of the cupboard.
“I grabbed the wrong bottle,” he said, unable to meet her eyes.
“It's not Rita's, though, is it?” Sarah asked.
“What? No... it's the stuff I keep at the studio,” Dave said, wondering when he had mastered the art of lying on demand.
“You go back to the kids, I'll take care of this,” Sarah offered.
Dave nodded in embarrassment at his white lie and hurried back to the lounge. The children had already broken the ice and engaged Lottie in their card game. It was amazing to see that even Ewan, who often seemed so aloof, had joined them. Not surprisingly, Lucy was very quiet. She played with them, but when it wasn't her turn she just observed the goings-on and offered a comment when it seemed safe. More than once, Ewan had hurt her with his words. For the first time it occurred to him that Lucy might actually be afraid of her little brother.
He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. He really wasn't a very good father not to have realised this earlier. Until Rita had died, Lucy had always had her to lean on, and Rita would never have allowed Ewan to treat his sister that way. If Lucy was looking for something different, it was partly his own fault, Dave realised. He should have looked after her better, should have realised what a mess she was.
“Dad, play with us,” Paul said. Trust him to pick up on his mood.
“Aye.” He sat cross-legged on the floor and joined in their game. It was one of their favourites, involving creating a labyrinth and collecting treasure. They hadn't played it since the Saturday before the accident. Eventually, Sarah joined them with the tea, and before she knew it, she was playing too.
Dave studied Lottie over the rim of his cup as he sipped his tea. How had she managed to get all of the kids to play a game together so quickly? Whenever he tried, they’d ask him if they could watch a film or play a different game, but they could never agree on one and they eventually gave up.
He couldn't imagine why she didn't get on with her current family. After a few rounds he asked her to follow him to the kitchen so he could talk to her in private while Sarah continued to play with the children.
“How much has Sarah told you about us?” Dave asked, offering her a seat.
“Everything, I think,” Lottie said. "I'm very sorry about what happened.”
“Yeah, thanks. They can be a handful,he said, looking in the direction of the lounge. "I'm amazed how quickly you related to them.”
“It's just because I'm new,she said, wrapping her fingers around her mug. "It'll wear off in a while.”
“I'm a photographer, so I work at odd hours sometimes,” Dave said. “And I might have to travel a bit. There will always be someone you can contact, of course. And apart from looking after the kids... well, you can see the state of this place. No matter what I do, I can never quite keep up with it all. I... it's just fair that you know what you’re getting yourself into. I'm trying to get back to normal life. The past few weeks have been... well, not easy.”
“I'd be happy to help," Lottie said, smiling, her gaze wandering around the kitchen.
“Really?" Dave squeaked. He hadn't expected finding someone to look after the kids so fast.
She laughed. "Yes.”
“Well, that's... that's fantastic. Thank you.” Dave wanted to hug her, but he opted for a grateful grin instead. "There's a spare room facing the garden. You can have it, but it needs a touch of paint." The fresh memory of painting the wall in Rose's bedroom flashed through his mind and he wondered how sore he would be the next day. He had enjoyed working side by side with her, each of them lost in their own thoughts. It was so hard to find the right words sometimes so the fact that he and Rose could be comfortable together without talking was a very new experience for him.
He couldn't believe that he'd already found someone to look after the kids and the house. He felt lighter than he had in a long while, and as Sarah and Lottie left, he hugged both of them.
“So, what do you think?” he asked, flopping down on the sofa. Ewan and Evie came to him for a cuddle while Paul remained kneeling on the floor,
propping his head on Ewan's knee. Dave's eyes found Lucy's, but they were as unreadable as ever.
“I like her,” Evie said.
“You like her hair,” Ewan sneered. “She's fun. She's on a girls’ football team.”
“She's a good listener,” Paul said.
“Lucy?”
“I won't be around long enough, will I? What does my opinion matter anyway,” she said, crossing her arms in front of her and slumping back against the cushions. She was, once more, the only occupant of the sofa facing them.
Her younger siblings looked horrified, first at her, then at him, needing him to reassure them. The thing was, he wasn't sure he could. Lucy had made it clear that she was seriously contemplating going to live with the Quinlans in Edinburgh.
Dave disentangled himself from Evie's and Ewan's limbs and scooted to the edge of the seat to stand. "Lucy,” he began.
“Don't do that!" she cried. "Look at you! All piled up on that sofa. All that hugging and your Mum loves you and now that... that German... girl just so you can get on with your life?” Lucy became more furious with every word, and tears of anger started to roll down her cheeks.
Evie was the most horrified of all, seeking his protection.
“I only get half-votes because I'm only half a sibling! No one cares how I feel about Mum's death. I hate her for leaving me like this, I hate her, I hate her!” Her voice cracked over the last words and she broke down sobbing.
“Lucy,” Dave whispered, helpless. To his horror he noticed that Evie had started to cry, and he wrapped his arm around her to soothe her a little. Right now, though, Lucy needed him more. Rose's words echoed in his mind, telling him not to let her push him away.
What she had said about Rita had cut him to the quick. He wanted to yell at her for speaking about her mother in that way, but deep down he had wanted to say the same thing. No matter how much he loved Rita, how much he missed her, there was also this irrational fury at her for leaving them. It wasn't her fault and he was ashamed of himself for having these thoughts, but he couldn't tell Lucy off for saying what was on everyone's mind.
“Would you go upstairs to your rooms. Please?” he said softly, rubbing Evie's back.
“Dad,” Ewan protested.
“Please, Ewan?” he repeated.
“Come on,” Paul said, climbing to his feet.
Lucy, miraculously, hadn't moved from her perch on the edge of the sofa. She had wrapped her arms around herself and was shivering with fury and grief. Paul pulled Ewan and Evie out and into to hall.
Lucy and Dave sat facing each other for a while, Dave helpless and a little frightened of her pushing him away when he tried to console her, but eventually he sat next to her and put his arms around her shoulder. Lucy stiffened at first, and he was ready to withdraw should she want to shake him off. She remained frozen, and eventually, he slid his arm off her shoulder.
“Is that... how you feel about Rita?” he asked.
“Sometimes,” Lucy said eventually.
“I don't blame you,” he said. “But you shouldn't have said that in front of the others.”
Lucy sniffled. "They hate me anyway. What difference does it make?”
“They don't hate you. You’re their big sister,” Dave reminded her.
Lucy snorted.
“They wanted to come with me to pick you up from orchestra,” Dave said, picking up the box that held the card game. He tossed it back onto the table. No distractions now.
“Well, why didn't they?”
“I had to be the one to tell you. I'm your Dad.”
“No, you’re not.”
Her words were crushing him. "I am your Dad. I’ve been with you since you were very wee. I’ve raised you just as much as I have the others.”
“You just felt guilty because you left Tanya.”
Dave blanched and he felt his stomach bottom out. “What?” How dare she say that? He had just told her he loved her and she just threw it away. He did feel guilty for not having been part of Tanya's life for so long; maybe he should have tried harder. But never, not once, had he seen Lucy as a project to make himself feel better. No matter how much joy seeing and helping Lucy grow up had been, he had always wished he could have done the same for Tanya. Every single day. He wished he could tell Lucy all this, but the words remained elusive.
He was too shocked by her words and by her accusations. Besides, she was being so emotional she was beyond reasoning.
“I can't wait for Stuart to pick me up tomorrow. He, at least, wants me.”
“We want you too.”
“You have an odd way of showing that,” Lucy said, and, finally able to move, she jumped to her feet and stormed upstairs, slamming her door closed behind her.
“Lucy?” he could hear Evie ask tentatively in the silence that ensued.
Then he heard Lucy scream in fury, and he broke down himself. Hiding his face in his hands at first, he pressed his hands over his nose and mouth to stifle the sobs. That was it. He had lost Lucy as well. There was no doubt she'd ask Stuart to let her stay, and there was nothing Dave could do about it. Whatever he could have done to comfort Lucy, he had mucked it up and made it even worse. It was his fault.
His body shook with the force of his sobs and his chest hurt as he tried to suppress them.
Please let the bairns stay upstairs, he thought as he curled up on the sofa, breathless and in need of a cry.
-:-
“What happened?” Stuart asked Dave the next afternoon as he watched Lucy slip into his car without a word. He looked askance at the suitcase and the violin case sitting on the pavement outside Number 5.
“We had a... a big row yesterday. About me being or not being her real Dad, that she hates Rita for dying and that the others hate her,” Dave said, rattling off the facts so he didn't have to dwell on the previous night's events too long. The memories were just too painful. "I couldn't convince her otherwise. She'll ask about staying with you.”
“What?” Stuart asked, paling a little. "That's awful.”
“Aye.”
“Well, maybe she just needs a little time away from it all. I'm sure that she'll calm down eventually. It's all just been a bit much,” Stuart reasoned.
“Yeah, well.” Dave wasn't so confident. He shifted from one foot to the other, pushing his fingers into the pockets of his jeans.
“She talks of you and her siblings all the time when she's with us. The girls would love to meet you all," Stuart offered.
Dave looked up to see if Stuart meant what he was saying. He was a lawyer; they could be very convincing, they needed to. Stuart's eyes softened under his scrutiny, letting him see the sincerity of his words. "You’re probably right. You sure you don't mind having her around for a longer time?”
“No, not at all.”
“I'll talk to the school then,” Dave said.
“Have you heard back from the police yet? About the compensation?” Stuart asked.
“Robin is taking care of it for me. I'm afraid I'm not really very good with all that red tape,” Dave said. His initial resentment over Stuart's firm being involved had worn off when he realised that he wouldn't be involved because it wasn't his area of law. "Thanks for your help.”
“Any time. We'll talk about Lucy on the phone, yeah? I'll keep you updated,” the other dad offered.
“Thanks, thanks.”
Despite himself, Dave waved as Stuart got into his car and pulled away. Maybe Stuart was right and all Lucy needed was some time off. Dave heaved a sigh and went back inside. He had yet to discuss the previous night's events with the kids. Paul had eventually turned up in the lounge with a box of tissues and a small hand rubbing his shoulder. He shouldn't be the one to comfort his father, Dave had thought at the time, but it had felt good. He had pulled Paul into his arms and held him for a long time.
“I'm glad she's gone,” Ewan said to Evie as they went into the kitchen.
“Ewan, enough!”
“But it's true...”
“Enough!” Dave bellowed.
Ewan looked at him wide-eyed.
“That doesn't help, right? Lucy thinks we don't love her, that's why she's gone now,” Dave said. forcing himself to speak calmly. It wouldn't do to yell at his son as well; although he had been careless with his words, a little too open, he hadn't meant any harm. He just hadn't learned yet what tact was about.
Bigger on the inside: Space, Time Travel, Alien Criminals (A Space Time Travel Mystery Book 1) Page 15
