by Whitney G.
DEAR RACHEL,
I’m writing your letter FIRST because I have the most to say to you and I don’t want to leave out anything. (I know you’re having a hard time with me being sick, but I promise that I’ve done everything in my power to make sure that you’ll be fully taken care of emotionally when I’m gone.)
I’m including a much longer, ten-page letter behind this one, but for now, I want to tell you three main things.
First, you’re beautiful, and despite how those stuck-up girls on your block used to treat you, I guarantee that most of it was out of jealousy. (I’m not just saying that to be saying that either)
Second, I’ve told your father not to mourn my passing for more than a year. I know him down to his marrow, and if he mourns for longer than that, he’ll lose you. I’ve given him a list of women (women I know) should he choose to follow my words and date, and I’ll be up high cheering him on.
Third, I want you to travel. A LOT. I want you to see every corner of the world as soon as you can. I know I’ve said the words, “Make sure you study abroad in college” countless times, but I really want you to do that. It’ll help you discover some things about yourself, and it’ll expand your perspective of the world.
And later in life—much later, if you’re still single, do me one huge favor: If Ethan Wyatt (Yes, that Ethan Wyatt) is still single, go out for coffee with him a few times.
You’re going to roll your eyes, I’m sure, but I think the two of you would make the best of friends, or even a great couple one day. The moment you pushed him down those stairs (I’ve always known that he didn’t “trip over his shoelaces” like you claimed) and the moment you two started sending those very first hate notes to each other, I knew there was something there.
I’m laughing right now because I’ve never seen two people so obsessed with what their “enemy” was doing. I never told you this, but during the summer, when you’d go off to art camps for a week or two at a time, Ethan would always come over and ask when you were coming back. He would (of course) talk me into making him hot chocolate since you weren’t there, but he admitted that he had way more fun with his “number one enemy” than any of his friends.
Anyway, go out with him for coffee sometime when you’re in college so I can look down and see if I was right.
Don’t forget to read my longer letter behind this one with more specific advice about life, but feel free to keep this one in your wallet. ☺
I love you forever and I’ll be with you always.
Love You,
Mom
I READ HER WORDS AND the longer letter behind them ten more times, wiping away tears with each read. I folded the letter and made a copy in the study room, then I tucked it into my jeans and headed down to Deck Three. I scanned my ID at the port and rented a bike—pedaling all the way to where my dad said he would be eating breakfast every morning.
Dropping my bike on the sidewalk right outside, I walked into the restaurant and spotted him sitting at a table with Stella. I rushed over to them—interrupting his words, and then I cried. “I’m so sorry,” I said. “To both of you...I’m so sorry.”
He stood up and pulled me close, hugging me in a way I hadn’t felt since my sophomore year of high school. By the time he let me go, the sun had come all the way up, and Stella was asking a waiter to set a new place at the table.
“I’ll um...” She looked between us. “I’ll let you two be alone. Rachel, it’s very nice seeing you here.”
“Please stay,” I said, hugging her. “Please.”
“Okay.” She returned my hug, and then she sat across from me.
We sat in silence for a few minutes, and then I cleared my throat. “Did my mom write you two long letters, too?”
They nodded.
“She told you that you should date each other?”
“She did,” my dad said. “I told her she was out of her goddamn mind once I read it, and she must have known that would be my reaction. Days before she died, she had someone mail me another letter and it was worded in a different way. Your mother was very insightful, Rachel. She could read people like no one else I’d ever met.”
“I cursed at her when she gave me my letter.” Stella laughed. “I was so mad at her for making plans for after she’d be gone, but as you know, that’s just how she was. She wanted things to be a certain way even if she wouldn’t be there.” She paused. “She didn’t tell you about us in her letters?”
“Not specifically.” I shook my head. “But I can see what she meant now. She mentioned Ethan in mine.”
“Oh?” They said in unison.
“Yes. Oh.” I looked between them.
“What did she say?” My dad asked.
“That she knew he didn’t trip down our steps when we first met.”
“Of course, she knew that.” My dad smiled. “That’s all?”
“No, she said she thought we would be good together later in life.”
“We’ve always thought that,” my dad said. “We’d watch you two fight all day, every day, and then the next day you’d still hang out together in “hatred” as you two claimed. You’re friends now, correct?”
“We tried to be.”
Stella raised her eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“It’s a long story.”
“I’ll go to the beverage station and grab us some tea.” She stood up, and for a few seconds, I swore that my mother was sitting right next to me. Like she was telling me to say what I would’ve said if she was living right now.
“Dad,” I said. “It’s a girl thing. Can I talk to Stella alone?”
“Only if you’ll promise you’ll join us here again for dinner tonight.”
“Promise.”
He kissed my cheek and stood to his feet, walking outside.
When Stella returned, she motioned for me to follow her into a private lounge area, and the second she shut the door, I couldn’t hold it in anymore.
“I still hate him.” I cried. “I really fucking hate him.”
“Rachel...”
“I thought our relationship meant something, that if I was willing to stay, he would be willing to stay, too.” Tears fell down my face. “He’s the main reason why I’m on that damn ship again...He insisted on being my ‘first real boyfriend,’ so I thought...I just thought he, I could’ve sworn we—”
“Calm down, Rachel.” She set the tea down and pulled me into a hug. “Calm down.”
“He said he loved me.” I couldn’t stop talking. “Like, he said it in the mornings in his sleep, and I actually believed that shit.”
She hugged me harder.
“He’s amazing at words, and I want to believe them, but at the end of the day, his actions show that this was a fling and all we had was sex. It was really good sex, but if we were built on more, he wouldn’t have been so anxious to leave and go to New York for a program I know he doesn’t really want to be in. He just wanted to get away from me and my ‘emotions’ and fuck other people. I’m so stupid...”
“Shhh.” She rubbed my back, waiting until I’d vomited all the words before making me sit up again. “Do you honestly think that Ethan doesn’t love you, Rachel?”
No... “I have no reason not to believe otherwise,” I said. “I haven’t talked to him in a long time.”
“Are you opening his letters?”
“No, but—” I paused. “How do you know about his letters?”
She smiled. “Trust me, I’m sure him calling us to ask if we’ve heard from you is his last resort, but if the way he’s sounded over the phone is any indication, I think he’s just as hurt as you.”
“Well, good.” I wiped my eyes.
“You don’t mean that.” She let out a light laugh. “And you know it.”
“I just wish we’d never crossed the line. I wish we’d stayed enemies.”
“Rachel Dawson,” she said, still laughing and handing me a Kleenex. “If you were really enemies, you would’ve never stayed in contact as long
as you have, let alone lived together.”
“We only stayed in contact with each other because no one else ever wrote me back.”
“You sure about that?” She smiled. “Something tells me he would’ve reached out to you eventually.”
“I doubt it.” I shrugged. “He didn’t even know I was doing Semester at Sea until I wrote to him.”
She smiled. “Rachel, Ethan came by two weeks before his freshman year started and asked why he hadn’t seen you at any campus events. When we told him that you were doing Semester at Sea, he demanded that we give him a copy of your port schedule and directions on how to reach you. You just happened to write him first...”
Track 31. How You Get The Girl (2:46)
Rachel
I WAVED AT MY DAD AND Stella as their cab headed for the airport several days later. When I couldn’t see them anymore, I walked to the gift shop that was closest to the ship, ready to collect final souvenirs before boarding again.
Tossing a new set of postcards into my basket, I walked over to the wall of monogrammed pens and searched for Ethan’s name. When I found it, I picked up a matching hoodie and hat as well.
Since I had phone service here, I was planning to use my final half hour to respond to some of the text messages he’d sent.
Or maybe I should call...Maybe I should call from the ship so we can talk longer than thirty minutes.
Debating, I headed for the checkout line and set my stuff on the counter.
“So, you really weren’t going to write me back?” A familiar deep voice said from behind. “You weren’t going to contact me at all?”
What? I turned around and found myself face to face with Ethan. His sexy blue eyes gleamed under the lights, and his lips curved up into a smile.
My heart damn near jumped out of my chest as he looked me up and down.
“I’m happy that you you’re here and not in Moscow,” he said, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “Otherwise, I would’ve had to wait to see you in China next month.”
“You would’ve flown there just to see me?”
“In a heartbeat.”
We stared at each other, and all the words I thought I wanted to say suddenly left my brain.
“Miss?” The cashier called. “Miss, do you want me to ring up your things?”
“She does,” Ethan said, stepping past me and handing her his credit card.
We said nothing as she took her time scanning and bagging my souvenirs, and when she was finished, Ethan handed me the bag and slipped his arm around my waist—walking me outside.
He led me over to a bench, but he didn’t sit down. He just stared at me.
Not wanting to waste any of my remaining minutes, I let out a breath. “I was going to write you back. I just finished writing five letters this morning, and I was about to call or text you. I was still trying to see which one made more sense, so it wasn’t like—”
“I fucking love you, Rachel.” He interrupted my spiel. “I love you.”
My heart sped up and he pressed his finger against my lips.
“You heard me,” he said, smiling. “You don’t have to ask me what I just said, but because I know you’ll still need to hear it again...” He kissed my forehead. “I love you, Rachel Dawson, and I ‘ve loved you since I was seven and a half years old.”
My eyes widened.
He ran his fingers through my hair. “I’m sorry for not thinking about you when I signed off to go to New York for a program I didn’t even want to go to. That was beyond selfish, and you were right about me doing it for someone else’s approval.”
“Did you just say that you’ve loved me since we were seven and half years old?”
“Yes.” He pulled me close and kissed me until I couldn’t breathe. “Let me finish...” He waited until I’d caught my breath, then he rubbed his hands against my back. “I’m sorry for not telling you about New York first, for not being willing to stay like you were.” He paused. “And I know you’re about to get back on your ship, but I want you to know that I’ll willing to go wherever you go from here on out to show you how much you’ve always meant to me. And as much as I enjoy writing you letters, I’d much rather see you in person every day.”
“I’ll be done in a few months,” I said, smiling as he kissed me again. “And I can give you my updated port schedule.” I opened my purse and pulled out a copy of the new port stops.
As he took it from my hands, a sound I knew all too well interrupted our moment.
The ten bells at the top of the Eurodam rang out loud and clear, signaling that the ship was about to prepare to leave the port in exactly ten minutes.
As if Ethan knew what the sound meant as well, he pulled me into his arms and kissed me like this was the last time, as if we were never going to see each other again, and he wanted to cement this moment into my memory.
Pulling away from me, he kissed my forehead and sighed. “I really would prefer if we saw each other in person every day.”
“Me, too.” I hugged him. “I’ll call you the second the phone room opens today, and I’ll send out those five letters, too.”
Seven bells rang.
He smiled and stepped back. “I’ll see you at your next port.”
“Really?”
He nodded. “Really.”
Unable to resist, I kissed his lips one more time before running toward the ship—looking over my shoulder every few seconds until I couldn’t see him through the crowd anymore. When I made it aboard, I rushed to my room to search for my telephone access card.
As I was rummaging through my top drawer, the last bell rang and a knock came to my door.
“I’ll be at the roll call in once second!” I said, opening another drawer.
The knock came louder and I held back a groan as I walked over to the door.
“I said I’d be there in once second, I was just—” I gasped at the sight of Ethan in my doorway, blinking a few times to make sure this was real.
“Like I was saying,” he said, smirking. “I really would prefer if we saw each other every day, and I will be seeing you at every port from now on.”
“You’re completing your final semester at sea?”
“Hell no.” He smiled. “I already graduated, remember?” He handed me a thick binder. “I took my girlfriend’s advice and looked up some Creative Writing programs. Turns out, there’s one that allows you to finish writing a novel at sea, as long as I teach two classes a week. I’ve heard life on this ship is fucking miserable if you’re alone, so I’m hoping that if the love of my life is aboard, that won’t be true.”
I felt tears falling down my face. “You have your own room?”
“No.” He kissed me. “I have a suite.” He looked behind me. “And from the looks of the size of your room, that’s where we’re going to be spending most of our time...”
I blushed, unable to do anything but stare at him.
“You may want to start making your way toward roll call,” he said, stepping forward and caressing my back. “I’ve heard that the new teacher who is in charge of it wants to get it over with as soon as possible so he can get reacquainted with someone in his suite.”
“Are you talking about kissing?”
“I’m talking about fucking.” He laughed. “Well ‘making love’ as you prefer to say and read about.”
“I like reading about both.”
“Hmmm.” He kissed my forehead. “Well, seeing as though my current novel is a romance that has both, I’d appreciate your opinion.”
He pointed to the binder he’d given me, and I raised my eyebrow.
“You’re going to write a romance?” I flipped the binder over and saw the words, based on a true story. “If you’re putting a false sticker on your books to trick women like me into thinking this shit is based on a true story, I swear—”
“It is.”
“You’ve only been in one relationship where you’ve said the words, I love you, Ethan.”
“I�
�m aware of that, Rachel.”
“Okay...” I tapped my lip, not sure whether he was serious about writing a romance or not. “What type of trope is it?”
“Enemies to lovers. Or, more like friends to lovers who think they’re enemies. It’s a pretty interesting story for you, I think.”
“Can’t wait to read it.” I smiled. “Do you have a working title?”
“I do.” His lips briefly met mine and he pulled me into the hallway, toward the room for roll call. “I think you’ll love that part most of all.”
“Would you like to tell me what it is?”
He didn’t have to answer. When I opened the binder, I saw it printed on the first page of the binder in huge bold print.
Forget You, Rachel
**The End**
Forget You, Rachel
BE SURE TO PICK UP Forget, You Rachel! The (FREE) Extended Epilogue to Forget You, Ethan! (Also, if you’ve read Sincerely, Carter, don’t forget that Sincerely, Arizona is available as well!)
ALSO BY WHITNEY G.:
SERIES & STANDALONES:
STEAMY COFFEE READS Collection
Naughty Boss
Dirty Doctor
Cocky Client
Filthy Lawyer
REASONABLE DOUBT SERIES
Reasonable Doubt #1
Reasonable Doubt #2
Reasonable Doubt #3
FALLING FOR MR. STATHAM Series
Resisting the Boss
Loving the Boss
THE ONE WEEK SERIES
On a Tuesday
On a Wednesday
On a Thursday
On a Friday
On a Saturday
On a Sunday
On a Monday
Sincerely, Carter
Forget You, Ethan
Turbulence
