He sensed he was losing ground. “So you have no fear of these men who might cross your path?”
“I do not,” she said without hesitation. “My only fear this morn is not arriving by eight o’ the clock and thereby disappointing my new employer.”
“Well, we can’t have that,” he agreed, lengthening his stride, forcing her to do the same. They climbed the steep hill so briskly they could not converse. By the time they reached the crest, both of them were red-faced and winded.
“Please, Lord Buchanan.” Elisabeth stopped to pull out her handkerchief. “If I might have a moment to catch my breath.”
“Of course,” he murmured.
What an idiot you are, Jack! Did you mean to exhaust the woman?
When they started again, he let her set the pace. By the time they reached the stables, her cheeks were pale again and her breathing steady. “Thank you for your kind attention,” she said, then hastened toward the servants’ entrance.
He’d meant to tell her to use the main door. But perhaps this one was closer to her workroom. Had he even visited below stairs at Bell Hill? The kitchen, aye, but no farther. After handing the reins to a waiting groom, Jack strode toward the house, looking forward to a hot bath and a cooked breakfast, in that order.
Dickson was waiting in his second-floor bedchamber, where a copper bathtub sat by the fire, steaming buckets of water at the ready. Jack peeled off his clothes and was up to his chin in soapy water inside a minute. He exhaled, sinking deeper still.
“Do you mean to drown, sir?” Dickson asked.
“ ’Twould be no more than I deserve,” Jack confessed, not bothering to explain. Rolling his shoulders beneath the bath water, he felt his sore muscles tighten. “Haven’t you a wisp or something?” he grumbled.
“I am not a groom,” Dickson said, “and you are hardly a thoroughbred.”
“Well, I was once,” Jack shot back, though with no sting in his words. He was undeniably forty and felt every one of those years in his aching body, having ridden harder that morning than he had in many months, then made a fool of himself with his dressmaker.
After a good soak and fresh clothing, Jack’s mood improved. Mrs. Tudhope’s thick bacon and perfectly poached eggs helped even more. He was almost feeling human again when Roberts and Mrs. Pringle joined him in his study for their daily forenoon meeting.
Jack wasted no time on idle chatter. “Tell me, Roberts, how are the new servants managing?”
His butler gave a promising report, as did his housekeeper.
“And Mrs. Kerr,” Jack said, trying to sound nonchalant. “Today she begins sewing a new gown for …”
“Mrs. Tudhope,” came Mrs. Pringle’s quick reply.
“Milord …” Roberts looked at Mrs. Pringle as if seeking her approval. “I’ve been wondering if it might be faster to hire several dressmakers? We could have the household in matching attire within a month.”
Jack answered at once. “It would be faster, Roberts, but not wiser. As you know, Mrs. Kerr is supporting herself and her mother-in-law and desperately needs the income that I am able, by God’s grace, to provide.”
“Of course, milord. But—”
Jack stood, determined to make his point. “We could indeed hire more dressmakers and in short order have all our maidservants wearing gowns made of the same fabric. But they would not be wearing the same gowns, would they, Mrs. Pringle?”
“No indeed,” his housekeeper assured him. “Mrs. Kerr has a unique approach to dressmaking. And we’ve all seen how diligently she works.”
“Better to support one woman for six months,” Jack insisted, “than six women for one month and send them all struggling to find work come July.” He paused, trying not to gloat. Then he remembered these were his servants, who were bound to do his bidding whether he presented a valid argument or not.
“Very good, sir,” Roberts said.
“Well done, milord,” Mrs. Pringle echoed.
In his heart Jack heard a more truthful assessment. Honour is not seemly for a fool.
Thirty-Five
Shall I never feel at home,
Never wholly be at ease?
SIR WILLIAM WATSON
e’ll not be much longer,” Elisabeth told the anxious cook, who stood beside her in the servants’ vacant dining hall having her measurements taken. “I know Lord Buchanan’s dinner is on your mind.”
“And in my cooking pot,” Mrs. Tudhope fretted. “The duck only stews for a quarter hour.”
Elisabeth bent down to measure waist to hem, hiding her smile. The cook herself stewed round the clock if reports from the kitchen could be trusted.
A woman of sixty-odd years, Mrs. Tudhope was a study in silvery gray, from her hair to her eyes to the spectacles perched on her nose. Her measurements were almost Mrs. Pringle’s in reverse, for the cook was very short and very round with no discernible waist.
As Elisabeth recorded the numbers on a slate, Mrs. Tudhope peered over her shoulder.
“No one will see those?” she asked, her voice quavering.
“Not a soul,” Elisabeth promised her. “By the time you return for a fitting this afternoon, your slate will be wiped clean.”
“If only ’twere that easy,” Mrs. Tudhope moaned. “Still, if I do not taste the food, how will I know if it’s seasoned correctly?”
“I could not agree more,” Elisabeth told her, “and you are a marvelous cook.”
When Mrs. Tudhope beamed, showing all her teeth, Elisabeth knew what his lordship would be having for dessert: raspberry tart.
“Off you go.” She patted the woman’s arm. “I shall need you here at three o’ the clock.”
No sooner did Mrs. Tudhope scurry out the door than Mrs. Pringle appeared, neatly dressed in her charcoal gray gown. The housekeeper frowned over her shoulder. “Will her dress be the same as mine?”
“The same design, aye, but with a few adjustments.” Elisabeth quietly covered the slate. “Every woman deserves a gown that flatters her figure.”
“Hmm,” was all Mrs. Pringle said.
As Charbon investigated the housekeeper’s shoes, Elisabeth began to unfold the bolt of fabric across the dining table. “How may I help you this morn?”
“Lord Buchanan wishes to speak with you.”
Sighing inwardly, Elisabeth shook the chalk dust from her apron. “Do you imagine this will take long? I told the cook—”
“Mrs. Kerr,” the housekeeper said sternly, “all of us who work at Bell Hill have a single priority: his lordship. Is that clear?”
“Aye, madam.” Duly chastened, Elisabeth started for the stair with Charbon darting ahead of her, soon out of sight. Mrs. Pringle was right: Lord Buchanan deserved their best service. Not only because he was generous and fair but also because the Buik required it. Servants, be obedient to them that are your masters. The truth could not be put more plainly. The next part, though, spoke louder to Elisabeth, describing how such service was to be rendered: in singleness of your heart, as unto Christ. If she was sewing for the Lord himself, for her true Master, then every unseen stitch, every hidden buttonhole mattered.
Elisabeth soon reached Lord Buchanan’s first-floor study, one of the many rooms she had yet to explore. Crossing the threshold, she paused, overwhelmed by what she saw. Books everywhere. On his desk. On his chairs. On his table. On his shelves.
In the midst of them sat Lord Buchanan with Charbon climbing onto his lap. “Is something wrong, Mrs. Kerr?”
“Not at all,” she said, then quickly curtsied. “You have an impressive library.”
He looked about the room as if noticing his collection for the first time. “Do you read?”
She stared at him, perplexed. “I both read and write, sir.”
He almost smiled. “I meant, do you often read books? For pleasure or enlightenment?”
“I do. For both.”
“What are reading now, pray tell?”
An easy question to answer since she and Marjory owned e
xactly one volume. “James Thomson’s The Seasons.”
“Poetry?” He wrinkled his brow. “I styled you a more adventurous reader. Defoe or Richardson or Fielding.”
“I began Moll Flanders,” Elisabeth admitted, “but I did not care for its heroine.”
“Well, she’s hardly heroic, our Moll, though she did spend her last days in sincere penitence. And I am a strong believer in forgiveness.” Lord Buchanan stood, letting Charbon slip to the floor. “Mrs. Kerr, I have a gift for you.” He reached behind his desk, withdrew a mysterious, cloth-wrapped bundle, and placed it in her arms.
Elisabeth knew at once it was fabric. The outer layer was an inexpensive muslin, wrapped in twine. But upon opening it, she discovered an exquisite broadcloth in a deep, rich black. Enough for at least two gowns.
She gazed at it, bewildered. “This is for me?”
“And for your mother-in-law. No widow should be forced to wear the same gown for an entire year of mourning. Those months are difficult enough.” He brushed his fingertips across the edge of the broadcloth. “I charged Hyslop to find a fabric of the highest quality. I hope this will do.”
Elisabeth swallowed. “You are too kind.”
“Nae, I am selfish,” he insisted, “for I wish to see all my household well dressed.”
She saw through his protest and was touched by his generosity. Again.
“I shall sew them at home in the evenings,” she told him. “Our two windows face west, so I’ll have sufficient light well into the gloaming.”
He looked horrified. “Your two windows?”
“Aye.” Elisabeth fingered the twine, suddenly aware of how very poor she must seem to so wealthy a gentleman.
When the cat meowed for attention, Elisabeth bent down and began scratching his head. “You are the adventurer among us, Charbon, with your Chinese pedigree and your French name.” She looked up at Lord Buchanan, hoping to dispel any awkwardness between them. “I believe Mrs. Pringle said your mother was French.”
“Did she?” As he stepped back, a shadow moved across his face. “What else did Mrs. Pringle say?”
Elisabeth stood, unnerved by the coolness in his voice. “That your father was Scottish.”
“Nothing else?”
“N-nothing,” she stammered.
“Good, because there is nothing to tell.” He turned toward his desk, a patent dismissal.
Holding her fabric to her heart, Elisabeth curtsied, then flew out the door, wishing she could take back her careless words.
In the days that followed, Elisabeth saw little of Lord Jack Buchanan. He was either riding with Dickson or working alone in his study or calling on the local gentry—the Murrays in particular. However vital Sir John’s role in Selkirk politics, his daughter Rosalind was the likely reason for the admiral’s repeated visits to Philiphaugh.
As for Elisabeth, she was lost in fabric.
Sunlit hours now stretched from three in the morning ’til nine at night. Whether at home or at Bell Hill, Elisabeth felt compelled to spend every minute sewing, though her fingers were growing numb, her neck was often tense, and she had a constant headache. Marjory insisted upon buying her another thimble and had her needles sharpened as well, which did help. But nothing made the hours or the stitches go faster.
Charbon kept her company in the workroom, a reminder of the master she had somehow offended. She’d spoken the truth: Mrs. Pringle had not told her anything else about his parents. Yet there must be a great deal to tell, or his lordship would not have reacted as he did.
She looked up when Sally entered the workroom bearing a dinner tray. “Guid day to ye, Mrs. Kerr.”
“And to you,” Elisabeth said, putting down her fabric, hoping for a moment’s conversation. Perhaps Sally knew something of the admiral’s upbringing.
But the lass disappeared as quickly as she’d come. “I’ll collect yer tray later, Mrs. Kerr.”
Once again Elisabeth was left feeling betwixt and between. She was not a servant, yet she didn’t hold one of the head positions. She also didn’t reside at Bell Hill. Instead, like one of the gardeners, she came and went each day but was not part of the household.
Folk were polite and kind. And each gown earned her a guinea, for which she was grateful. Still, Elisabeth longed for one good friend at Bell Hill. And a place she could truly call home.
Thirty-Six
There are some occasions when a man must
tell half his secret, in order to conceal the rest.
PHILIP STANHOPE, EARL OF CHESTERFIELD
harbon was stretched out on a sunny patch of carpet, tail twitching, while Jack drank his third cup of tea and gazed out his study window. ’Tis almost eight o’ the clock, Mrs. Kerr. Will I not see you this morn?
He’d managed to keep his distance for a full week—avoiding her in the house, on the grounds, wherever they might run into each other—convincing himself it was the wisest course of action. Your mother was French. Your father was Scottish. Innocent comments, nothing more. What was he afraid of? That she might not think well of his heritage?
Be honest with yourself, man. You’re afraid she might not think well of you.
When Elisabeth appeared in his sunlit gardens a moment later, Jack watched her bend toward a cluster of blooming roses, then smile, perhaps breathing in their sweet fragrance.
A moment later she looked up and met his gaze. And held it.
Run, lad.
In a trice he was halfway down the corridor, then darted into the narrow turret stair, startling a maidservant. “Beg pardon,” he murmured when the curly-haired lass made way for him and nearly dropped her armful of linens as Charbon streaked past. Jack strode down the servants’ hall, nodding at the maids who sank into curtsies the moment they saw him.
He followed his cat, thinking Charbon might lead him straight to Elisabeth. When he found himself in a vacant workroom near the back entrance, Jack had no doubt it was her domain. Folds of fabric and pen-and-ink drawings were neatly stacked beside a tidy sewing basket, a reminder that she was a tradeswoman, not a gentlewoman like Rosalind Murray.
When he heard light footsteps approaching, Jack spun round to greet her and instead found a russet-haired maidservant with a lighted candle hurrying into the room.
Her eyes widened. “Milord!” She curtsied, taking care not to tip the candle. “I didna think to find ye here this morn.”
“Sorry I frightened you. Sally, isn’t it?”
She blushed, then bobbed her head. “Aye.”
With a sweep of his arm, he stepped aside. “Come, light the fire for Mrs. Kerr, for it is cooler down here than it is out of doors.” He looked round, wondering what the small, low-ceilinged room would feel like in the dead of winter with only a few hours of frozen light filtering through the single high window.
“Good day to you, Lord Buchanan.”
He turned at the sound of Elisabeth’s voice. “And to you, Mrs. Kerr.” He bowed, while Sally made a furtive exit, then said to Elisabeth, “No new mourning gown?”
“Not yet,” she said. “But I finished my mother-in-law’s last eve. She was so eager to wear it she awakened at four o’ the clock, when I did, just so I might dress her. You have blessed us both more than we can say.”
How like her, Jack realized, to sew her mother-in-law’s gown first. “Then you’ll begin making your gown this eve?”
“In a few days,” she said, poking at the sluggish fire. “My hands are quite cramped of late. An evening or two of reading, instead of holding my scissors, should take care of it.”
“Might I offer something from my library?” By the lift of her brows, it seemed he’d struck the right note. “Feel free to visit my study and choose what you like.”
“If ’twill not be an inconvenience.”
“Not at all.” He drew a steady breath. Now that he had her attention, there were far more important things to say. “I must apologize, Mrs. Kerr. For ending our conversation so abruptly on Monday last. And then avoiding yo
ur company.”
She turned to look at his cat, perched on a chair. Or did she simply not wish to look at him? “So that was intentional,” she finally said. “I’d feared as much.”
“ ’Tis common knowledge that my mother was French and that I spent my childhood in France. You breached no trust.”
He was relieved when she turned toward him once more. “Lord Buchanan, ours is an unusual relationship. ’Tis a temporary engagement, not a permanent position. We also travel in very different social circles. I do not wish to make assumptions or speak more freely than I ought.”
“I appreciate your candor. Still …” He exhaled, uncertain, having not charted his course in advance. “Can we not be friends, madam, at least at Bell Hill?” He picked up two wooden chairs, which looked desperately uncomfortable, and placed them close to the hearth. “Come, Mrs. Kerr. Surely you have a few minutes to spare before you begin sewing.”
She quietly took a seat. “I am at your bidding, milord.”
“If we’re to be friends, you must call me Lord Jack.” He sat as well, inching closer. “Only in private, of course.”
“ ’Twill take some getting used to,” she admitted. “Is your real name John?”
“My real name is Jacques.” He paused, realizing he’d not confessed as much in years, then shrugged, making light of it. “But ‘Jack’ seemed better suited to a British naval officer.” He leaned against his chair and found the straight wooden back even more ill fitting than the seat. If they were going to meet with any regularity, something would need to be done about the chairs.
“Mrs. Kerr, ’tis only fair you know a bit of my history.” Jack pressed his hands on his knees, gathering his thoughts, preparing to show her a canvas of his life. Certain details would be omitted, but there would be enough for a sketch, if not an oil painting. “I was born in Le Havre. My French mother raised me, while my Scottish father sailed the seas with the Royal Navy. I soon followed in his footsteps.”
“Were his boots the size of yours?” she asked, glancing down at them.
“Bigger,” he confessed, “for I am quite certain I never filled them. I began my life at sea when I was four-and-ten, as a midshipman.”
Elisabeth gasped, as he knew she would.
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