by ML Ross
“So what are your plans tomorrow?” He asks as he comes back into the room.
“I actually have to pack for my trip to Telluride. I leave Tuesday, remember? I just told you before dinner.” I swear, sometimes he doesn’t hear a word I say.
“How long will you be gone?”
“Just a few days. I want to make it back in time to spend Christmas Day with the family. The girls are staying longer.”
“Are you driving by yourself?”
“Well, since Megan, Lisa and Kate are staying, I kind of have to. It’ll be fine. I like driving alone.”
“Well, just be careful, you might not even have cell service in some of the spots you’ll be driving through.”
“I’m not worried. I’ll be fine.” I blow out a long frustrated breath. “You know James, I’ve been thinking. I’ve been thinking about applying to college and I’m not sure yet where I want to attend but…”
“Hey now.” James interrupts, shushing me with his finger over my lips. “None of this. I can do long distance, babe. Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out. I’m not tied down here anyway. I can sell cars anywhere. I’ll just follow you. Wherever you go babe.”
Whoa! That is not going to happen. Great. How do I say this?
“James, it’s not you. It’s me. I think we should see other people. I think we’d be better off as friends.”
“Are you kidding Vanessa? Are you really fucking breaking up with me? I just rocked your world. What the hell is going on?”
Rocked my world? Is he kidding me?
“I’m sorry. I just…..I just need some space. We’ve been together for six years and I might be going off to college and I just don’t think I want to be tied down right now.” Well, I do….I really do want to be tied down….just not like that.
“Is it about this girls’ trip? Do you want to pick up some guy or something? Are you cheating on me?!”
“No! I would never do that! It’s not like that James. I have no intention of hooking up with anyone. I just need to be able to hang out with my friends and do things that a normal twenty-one year old does before I get so serious, ya know?”
“I can’t believe you’re doing this to me. We’ve been together since we were fifteen! We’ve been each other’s first for everything! You’re the only one for me Vanessa. I thought we were going to get married and have kids together! I stuck around when your Mom was sick and you had no one.”
“I know you did and I love you for that! I don’t want to hurt you but I’m only 21! The last couple of years have been really hard. I had to watch my Mom become this frail person that couldn’t take care of our family anymore. I had to grow up fast so I could be everything to everyone. I need to think about myself and what I need for a change!” I need a fucking orgasm!
“You’ll change your mind and just so know, it might be too late. I won’t take you back used!”
After six years, I should be fighting back the tears from this dramatic break up but I just want him to finish up his rant so I can leave and pack for my trip. I do love James. I’m just not in love with James. Yes, he was my first kiss, my first base, second base, third base and he even did score a homerun after homecoming my senior year of high school. Since then, we’ve had lots of sex. It’s fine. Whatever. James is hot but he’s also selfish. Being a car salesman, he can be very charming but I don’t think he’s my type. I don’t really know what my type is but I want to get those butterflies other girls talk about. I have never rolled my eyes into the back of my head or curled my toes while having sex with James. He isn’t into foreplay at all. He sticks his finger in to make sure I’m ready like a guy checking his oil with a dipstick and then he lays on top of me pushing in and out and in and out for about 3 minutes and then he asks me if ” I went”. Maybe it’s just me; I just can’t seem to orgasm within 3 minutes in the missionary position with no foreplay. I’m not asking for a lot. Id’ love to be just bent over and taken from behind or tied up to the bedpost and manhandled. I’m embarrassed just having these thoughts. I’m such a slut.
I snap out of my thoughts and realize James is staring at me. I’m probably blushing and he’s trying to figure out what the hell I was just thinking about.
“I’m sorry James. I really hope we can still be friends.” I say sincerely.
He rolls his eyes at me. “Whatever. You’ll regret this. You have no idea how guys are, Vanessa. They are just going to use you and throw you out like garbage. Is that what you want? I treated you like a princess. I planned to marry you and start a family with you. We were good together. I hope you find what you’re looking for but don’t come crawling back to me when you realize you’ve made a mistake. A big mistake!” He yells and walks out of the room, slamming his bedroom door behind him. I take that as my queue to leave.
It takes me about 43 seconds to think about what I’ve just done and then I jump up from the floor and head home to pack.
Chapter 2 - Vanessa
“Did you pack enough warm clothes? It’s going to be cold in the mountains. Oh, and did you remember to get your oil changed?”
“Yes! Yes Mom! I’ll be fine, I swear. I have my phone, I have an emergency medical kit in my car, and I have flares! I put a baseball bat under my seat. I know how to change a flat tire. My gas tank is full. I have the number to roadside assistance……anything else?”
“I just want you to drive safely and keep in touch. Check in every once in a while. Don’t drive when you’re tired. I gave you extra money if you need to get a hotel room on the way to rest. Don’t stay anywhere sleazy!...”
“Mom! Seriously. I’m 21 years old now. Please trust me. I’ll be fine.”
“I know.” She pats my cheek. “I love you. Don’t forget to call me when you get there, and Vanessa, for heaven’s sake, please don’t drink yourself silly!”
“Yes Mother!”
“Bye Mason.” I pout as I give my little brother a bear hug. We don’t fight like normal brothers and sisters do, even with the 10 years between us. When my Mom was diagnosed with ovarian cancer two years ago, I had just turned 19. I lost my friends because I stopped being a normal nineteen year old girl. I was my Mother’s caretaker, the housekeeper, the cook, and the chauffer. During her chemo treatments, she would get so sick, I had to be a Mom to Mason too. I needed to help him with his homework, assign his chores and drive him to football practice. He started to get into trouble at school so I had to meet with teachers and try to keep him under control. My father was an ER surgeon. He lived at the hospital. He tried but he just couldn’t be here all the time. He carried a lot of guilt about it, so our family struggled through some pretty hard times. My father left the hospital and started his own family practice so he is home a lot more now. Our family is closer than we’ve ever been before. Mason and I have an understanding now. We will always have each other’s backs.
“You’ll be here for Christmas, right Vanessa?” Mason asks, concern written all over his face.
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, buddy, and don’t you dare peek at your present!” I rub the top of his head making his hair all messy. He immediately smooths it down. He’s turning eleven soon and his hair has become important to him all of a sudden. I kiss his cheek and then hug my Mom one more time. My Dad gathers us both in his arms and places a kiss on the top of my head.
“Be careful kiddo.” My Dad is a man of few words but I know he loves us fiercely.
I wave one more time before I get into my little red VW bug. I love my car. I bought it from a little old lady that barely ever drove it. It’s almost 8 years old but it had just under 40,000 miles on it and she sold it to me for only $2,500. It still has the little vase with a red plastic flower in it.
I pull away from my house, waving at my Mom, Dad and Mason as they’re standing on the porch blowing kisses at me. When I round the street corner and they disappear from view, I roll the windows down and turn the music up. I start bouncing my head to the tunes of Nickelback when I see the screen on my phone li
ght up on the passenger seat. It’s James. I ignore the call and keep driving.
Telluride is about 5 hours from our little neighborhood in Colorado Springs. I made sure to leave early so I don’t have to drive through the mountains on those rural roads in the dark. I should get there by 4pm or so. The girls and I agreed that tonight we would celebrate with a bottle or two or three of wine. Tomorrow we’ll hit the slopes. I’m not a huge skier but living in Colorado, I guess I had to adapt because most of the kids here ski. We’ve lived here for about six years but there is still a lot of Colorado I haven’t seen. I’ve never been to Telluride, so I am loving this drive through the mountains. Even though it’s December and there is a ton of snow sitting on the mountain peaks, it’s actually pretty warm today. It has to be about 55 degrees and the sun is shining bright. I actually had to pull over after an hour on the road to take my jacket off because I was so hot. It will be perfect skiing weather.
I pull over at a gas station off of Route 50 somewhere near Gunnison and I take in the views. It is just breathtaking here. There isn’t a lot of traffic on this road. There isn’t a whole lot out here. I did see a sign for Western Colorado University. It might be nice to attend a small college out here in the mountains. I really would prefer to attend a smaller college. I make a mental note to look into Western. After I fill up my gas tank, I wander through the candy aisle and pay the attendant for my snickers and mountain dew. I’m on vacation and I deserve to splurge. I only have a couple more hours to go. I glance at my phone before I get back on the road and see I’ve missed 3 calls and a text from James.
James: Miss you. Please call me so we can talk
I know I need to talk to James. He deserves more from me after our six years together than just ending it like I did and not returning his calls. I just need these few days with the girls to clear my head. I don’t want to talk to him right now because I might give in to his charm and tell him I’d be willing to give it another try. The truth is, I’m scared. I feel like I’m being set free in the huge parking lot of life. I don’t know which cars are reliable and trustworthy. The pretty ones might not be safe. Some might go too slow and some might go to fast and what if I make a bad decision and get hurt. I need to take this risk though. I need to trust my decisions and learn from my mistakes. I need to face my fears because what is even scarier is being stuck with that safe, reliable car that doesn’t cause my adrenaline to surge like I crave.
I dial my Mom to check in and shoot Megan a text that I should be there by 4, and then I get back on the road. Just as my back is starting to ache and my legs start to get jumpy, my GPS tells me I’m in Telluride and 10 minutes from the cabin. The girls should be there. They all drove together and left an hour earlier than I did.
The dirt road winds up a steep hill lined with trees and then I stop because the flag on my GPS says I’m there. I look all around and then I see it through the trees. Wow, it’s really secluded. I turn onto a short dirt road that leads to a small, quaint little log cabin that’s all lit up. Red checkered curtains hang from the windows. I park next to Megan’s little gray Mazda and grab my purse and my phone. I run up the three wooden steps to the door but before I get to it, Megan runs out and hugs me almost knocking me over.
“You’re here! You have to see this place, it’s so cute! The ski hills are right behind us. We can walk there. There’s a fireplace and it’s all decorated like a……like a log cabin in the mountains!” She giggles pulling me up the step and through the front door. Lisa and Kate already have a glass of wine and the fireplace is already blazing.
Megan is my best friend. Really, she is my only friend. Lisa and Kate go to school with us but they play softball with Megan. Sports are not my thing. I really don’t know them that well. Lisa is a typical blonde, blue-eyed bombshell. She has huge tits and bouncy blonde hair and legs that go for a mile. She is really outgoing and you never know what will come out of her mouth. She doesn’t care what people think and you can tell in her clothing choices. She practically lives in bikini tops and short shorts. In the winter, she will add knee high boots instead of flip flops. I really like her though, she’s the life of the party. I wish I had her confidence. Kate is more on the quiet side but she’s sweet. She is the opposite of Lisa. Her brown hair hangs straight and hits the middle of her back with a blunt bang. She has big brown eyes and doesn’t wear a lot of make-up. She looks like she’s only sixteen. She is always a bit too serious.
“Hey girls!” I look around the cute little one bedroom cabin. The floor is covered in a faded, worn blue carpet. To the right is a living area with one brown leather couch facing the natural fireplace. The kitchen area is to the left with a high top table and 4 stools surrounding it. There are two doors off the kitchen, which I assume are the bedroom and the bathroom. Deer antlers decorate the fireplace mantel. The furniture is old and rustic but it’s cozy.
“Vanessa! How was the drive?” Kate asks.
“It was fine, really. It went quick.”
“Come sit, let’s toast!” Lisa says enthusiastically as she pours a glass of wine for me and then pats the stool next to her.
“I have to get my stuff out of the car first, and then I would like nothing more than to have some wine by the fire!”
“I’ll help.” Megan says following me out to my car. “So, Lisa and Kate called the bedroom. I guess we’re stuck on the pull out couch.”
“That’s fine with me. I’m not picky. It’s not like we haven’t passed out together in close quarters before. This is actually luxury compared to where we’ve slept after some of those high school parties.” Megan and I have had some pretty crazy experiences together. I remember when James went out of town with his Dad for some car sales conference during my senior year. Megan and I went to a party at some kid’s parents’ house while they were out of town. We got trashed. I remember us both stripping down to our bra and underwear and dancing on the pool table in the basement. This is also where we passed out. Curled up on the pool table. We woke to two guys trying to shoot the balls into the pockets around our asses.
Megan helps me carry my backpack, boots, skis and my panda pillow pet inside. I packed pretty light. My ski stuff took most of the room in my little car. I’ll only be here for a few days so I only packed one pair of jeans, a pair of yoga pants, a couple of hoodies, and a tank top and boxers to sleep in. I’m not a fancy girl. I like simple and I like comfortable. We set my stuff by the couch and I grab a stool and raise my glass of wine.
“To a weekend of skiing, wine and hopefully boys! Except for Vanessa because she’s practically married.” Megan toasts.
“Not anymore. I broke up with him.” I glance at the shocked expressions on their faces. All three girls gasp.
“You did? Why didn’t you tell me? I didn’t think you’d do it.” Megan squeals.
“You were right. I’m only 21. He was ready for us to get married and have kids. I love James but our relationship was just missing something and I did feel like I was settling. It was just too comfortable.”
“Orgasms! That’s what was missing! He’s selfish. Vanessa, you have no idea what you’re missing. You’ve never even kissed another man. It’s just wrong!” Megan’s words smack me in the face. I’ve never kissed another man. How pathetic.
“You’re kidding right? You have had an orgasm haven’t you?” Asks Lisa, completely shocked.
“Of course I have. I just haven’t had one that makes me want to claw at the sheets, you know?”
“Did he have a small dick?” Of course, that comes out of Lisa’s mouth.
I giggle and the girls all burst out into laughter. “How would I know?! I never had another to compare it to.” I say blushing.
“Well, James is hot. Even if it was small, he should know how to use it properly!”
I grab the bottle of wine and pour us all round two. “I just didn’t feel it, ya know?”
“That’s what she said!” Lisa practically spits her wine out exploding in laughter. “Brad is huge an
d we have done every position imaginable. He’s stuck his dick and his tongue in places it probably shouldn’t have been. After a while, you run out of new stuff and you miss that new feeling. The spark kind of diminishes after a while. Maybe that’s what happened with you and James.”
I stare at her wide-eyed. “Lisa, James has never stuck his tongue anywhere but in my mouth and that is rare. He must consider that foreplay and foreplay James does not!”
“No! You’re kidding! He doesn’t like oral?”
“It was rare if his mouth ever traveled south of my tits. I’ve tried to go down on him and he stopped me every single time. Maybe he didn’t want me up close and personal with tiny.” I giggle and shrug my shoulders.
“That isn’t normal. Even if he is gay and you’re his cover, I think any man would let you suck his dick. I’m glad you dumped his ass. Shit! Let’s toast to finding men this weekend that know what to do with their tongues! Oh and maybe, Vanessa can practice her oral skills.”
We all click our glasses together, slam down our second glass and refill our glasses.
“If you need pointers, Brad says I’m the best.” Lisa begins to slur. This is getting interesting.
“Tell us Lisa, how do you suck a dick properly?” Asks Megan, rolling her eyes.
“The key word here is suction. The more suction the better. Oh, and when he hits the back of your throat, swallow or hum. They’ll come on command. Works every time.”
We’re all laughing and I realize this is absolutely what I need. I miss hanging out with girls and just being silly without any care in the world.
We all jump from our seats screaming when we hear Monster by Imagine Dragons come on the radio. We turn it up and dance ourselves senseless. We’re jumping up and down with our hands in the air, bumping our hips and screaming out the lyrics.
