Carden was so close now, close enough to shelter me from the wind. Close enough to kiss. I could kiss him. I could fall into him, and what would it matter? After all, it was just a dream.
I wanted to kiss him. I’d wanted it ever since the moment our first kiss ended. This was just a dream, after all. It wouldn’t count.
“Just a dream,” I whispered. I closed the distance between us.
There was pounding. I gasped.
My heart?
Again, pounding. Was it the headache?
Carden faded. The rock disappeared.
Knocking. The sound was knocking.
Mei-Ling mumbled a complaint from the next bed. She was asleep, and we were in our dorm room. I was lying in bed, face crushed into my pillow.
I actually had been dreaming. Disappointment swamped me. Disappointment and need. If I ignored the knocking, could I fall asleep right back into the same moment? I needed to kiss him again, even if it was just in my dreams.
The person knocked again. That roused me. I quickly hopped from my bed. Whoever it was would wake the whole dorm and it’d be seen as my fault.
I swung open the door. “What the—”
A dark figure loomed in the doorway. The ambient moonlight made his eyes glow. Carden.
Stepping inside, he closed the door and pressed his body against mine. His voice was a hoarse rasp in the darkness. “You called me.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“What are you doing?” I shot a look at Mei, still sound asleep. I couldn’t risk her seeing us. “You’re going to get us in trouble.”
He laughed quietly. It was a low, seductive sound. “Vampires don’t get in trouble.”
Instantly, I became aware that all I wore was my nightgown. Granted, it was flannel and came below my knees, but still, I was braless, cold, and after that dream, feeling very, very vulnerable. “You were banging hard enough to wake the dead.”
His eyes swept me from my head to my bare feet. “And you’re lovely enough to rouse them.”
I hastily grabbed my fleece and zipped it up to my neck. “Well…it was too loud.”
“I barely knocked at all.” He raised a finger, pointing into the darkness. “Listen.”
I paused. Sure enough, the dorm was utterly silent. It was the middle of the night. “I don’t get it. It was so noisy in the dream.”
He took a step closer. “You dreamed of me?”
I stepped back, babbling nervously. “Why are you here anyway? Because you’re not supposed to be here.” I shooed my fingers at him. “Turn around.” I snatched my leggings from the edge of my bed and quickly stepped into them. I felt too exposed, though I feared clothing wouldn’t do much to rid myself of the feeling. “We’re not supposed to see each other. I thought we were…you know…severing.”
“Are we truly?” He snuck a look, peering at me in the darkness. There was a question in his eyes. “Because you just summoned me.”
“I can summon you?”
“It’s more that I felt your need for me. Felt your desire to preserve our bond.”
Preserve the bond?
“I don’t,” I stammered. “Didn’t.”
His lips peeled into a naughty smile. “Tell me about this dream.”
It was fresh in my mind, how badly I’d wanted to kiss him. My body still wanted him, my blood pulsing hot just beneath the surface of my skin.
“Ah. Even now, I sense your desire.” Inhaling deeply, he took my arm and gently tucked it in his. “What did we do in your dream?”
His proximity wasn’t helping the whole break-the-bond thing. I tugged my arm. “You should go before you wake Mei.”
Because I did want to break the bond. Right?
He must’ve sensed my hesitation, because even though he let go of my arm, he gave me a wink. “You’re right, of course. We shouldn’t wake her. I’ll take you elsewhere, little turnip.”
“Turnip?” I squeaked. “I thought little flower was bad.”
He beamed. “In this dream, I called you little flower?”
I glared. “Maybe.”
“Would you like me to call you little flower?”
“Of course not.”
“Come with me, little flower.”
I edged back. “I thought you wanted to stay apart.”
“You wanted it.” He stepped closer, only this time I didn’t step away—I was too mesmerized. He was focused only on me, his eyes hooded and so intense in the shadows. “I can stay away from you no longer,” he said in a husky whisper. “My need for you is too great. Your need is too great.” He traced a single finger down my cheek. “I feel it calling to me across this island, all day and through the night. I’ll no longer bear it. I must take care of you.”
Care. It sounded so good. Was that my secret desire? I was so tired and so alone.…But those weren’t good enough reasons to be with someone.
When I took too long to say anything, his expression turned grim. “You’re uncertain.”
“I just don’t know if this is…right.” The moment I said it, I felt how cold the room was.
“Please tell me, Annelise. And consider your answer well.” He stood straight, and it put distance between us. “Do you wish to break from me? You have but to say the word and I will leave this island and we will be severed.”
“You mean like a temporary thing, to break our bond?”
“More than temporary,” he said grimly.
“Would you come back?”
“I am done with Hugo and his kind.”
“But where would you go?”
“There are places for such like me.”
I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. “So you’re saying I wouldn’t see you again? Ever?”
He gave a solemn shake to his head. “You will not be bothered by me again.”
It felt like the floor dropped from under me. But I made myself stand tall. I made myself consider it. I had to let my mind go there. I’d said I wanted to break the bond. This had been my idea.
Practical considerations occurred to me. “How would you, you know, feed?” If Carden was nothing to me, then why did my head fill with a flurry of random worries? His safety, his feeding.
He gave me a flat look, and I put up my hand, aghast. “Oh no, never mind. I take it back. Don’t answer that.” The thought was too unbearable. Him with another girl. And Carden was charming and handsome—if we parted, there would be other girls.
If severing from him was really what I wanted, then why did the prospect make my heart hurt worse than any ache I’d known these past days?
I pictured being alone again. Carden cared for me—it was the first time since my mother that someone cared enough to put me before anyone else. Could I let that go? Let him go?
Something in his eyes shuttered, closing from me. “I apologize for the trouble this has caused you. In the past, I have blamed you for our situation, but you had no way of knowing. You came to me an innocent, and the blame lies solely on me.” His attitude became businesslike. “You will find the severing difficult. There will be days hence of pain, but you are strong and will bear it as you have borne so much else. Be on your guard against all who would harm you. You will survive our parting—”
“No,” I cut him off. The thought of losing him, just the thought of him leaving this room, made my gut clench. I knew what I wanted now—the truth of it rang through me. I tried to remember why I hadn’t wanted to be bonded to him.
I feared the vampires, but how could I fear the one who’d given me honesty? How could I not trust the one who’d made me smile? Who wanted to protect me. Whose honor made creatures like Alcántara scoff. Now that I knew Carden better, all my old hesitations seemed mistaken. The wrong answer to the right question.
“No, Carden.” I leapt into his arms as I’d been longing to do, and his low laugh reverberated through me. “No. I don’t want to sever the bond.”
I squeezed him harder. I didn’t want to break from him. Carden had become comfort when I neede
d it. Ease where I had none. The long-dreamed-of man who smiled just for me.
He shifted, tucking my arm in his, and his broad smile told me I had indeed considered well. “Then come with me. Just for a short time.”
Was such a thing truly possible? Could I have someone who cared for me? Someone to sneak off with and share secrets and kisses? It had the whiff of hope, and I didn’t believe in hope. Hope died with my mother—the last person who’d cared about me.
I pushed away from him, my shoulders slumped. “I shouldn’t. I can’t. We’re in lockdown.”
“I told you. I can’t get in trouble.”
“But I can.”
“I’ll allow no harm to come to you. Ever.” He reached for my hand. “Come. I need you close. I want you close. I mustn’t be discovered here, which means it’s time to go. I’ll have you by my side now, as much as I can. I will protect you.”
My pulse was throbbing a drumbeat.…Carden. Carden. Carden. I could go with him. We could be alone together. He said he’d protect me—nobody had ever wanted to protect me. “I want to”—oh God, he was so close—“but I’m afraid.” And getting caught wasn’t what scared me.
“Come,” he whispered again, sliding his hand in mine. He gave me a wicked smile. “Or I will wake the dorm.”
Suddenly, schoolgirl nerves overtook me. What would he do? What would happen? “Why should I go?” Even as I asked it, my body clamored the answer. The pulse was deep in my belly, in my skull, my chest—my whole body pounding my decision.
He twined my fingers with his. “Because you want to.” His voice was deep and hushed, resonating into my core.
He was right. I looked at him, really looked at him. My want for Carden had grown deeper even than this need, more powerful than thirst.
“Please,” he whispered.
I trusted him. I liked him. I wanted to be close to him.
What else mattered anymore?
But there was something else. “Why me?” I asked in a voice no louder than my breath. I wanted to sneak away with him—now that I’d made my decision, I wanted it so badly. But I couldn’t see why he’d want someone like me. “Is it just the bond that makes you want this?”
“Dear one,” he scolded. “I need you. You, Annelise Drew. I want to be with you.” He slowly brought my hand to his mouth, eyes locked with mine, and placed a gentle kiss at my wrist. “It appears I’ve grown fond of you.” He gave me a gentle nip. “And more than fond, aye?”
It felt like the sun rising on my face, I smiled so wide. I gave his fingers a squeeze. “Yes. Let’s go. Let’s get out of here.”
We walked downstairs and outside, hand in hand. “I need to ask you a question,” I began shyly. My dreams of him had been so vivid, I couldn’t get them from my mind. “Did you have anything to do with my dreams?”
“How many dreams were there?”
I nudged him with my shoulder. “Just answer the question.”
He laughed. “Are you saying you think I somehow came to you in your sleep?”
“Didn’t you?”
“Trust me, love. When I come to you in the night, it won’t be a thing you’ll sleep through.”
A shiver of anticipation rolled across my skin.
He patted my hand as he pulled me to a faster walk. “Make haste now. We must move before we’re discovered.” He gestured away from campus.
I hesitated, joking nervously, “Leaving the path?”
He gave me a reassuring smile. “I promise, you’ll like where I take you.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
He led me to a place I’d spotted before, a break in the foliage that I’d always assumed fell into a sheer drop on the other side—but there was a trail. It was steep and slow going, with only the light of the moon to guide us. As we descended, the crashing waves grew louder.
A thrill shivered up the backs of my legs, and I worried that Carden was right. Maybe I did like going off the path. Maybe I was a natural-born rule breaker. It didn’t bode well for my time on the island.
As we neared the bottom, I had to use my hands to keep my balance on the sharp incline. Water shimmered along the horizon, moonlight picking silver along the waves.
Carden jumped the rest of the way. From the sound of his landing, there was a small sliver of rocky beach below. Turning, he wrapped his hands about my waist and lifted me up, his grip sliding ever so slightly up my torso. “Come, dear one.”
The sensation of being held by Carden, of him floating me up in the air and setting me gently down before him, was rapturous.
I felt on the precipice of some new relationship, and it made me feel vulnerable. I was more aware than ever how Alcántara was gunning for him.
When he put me down, I didn’t give myself a moment to second-guess it, I just asked, “Why does Alcántara hate you?”
He took my hand, and waves of pleasure rippled over me, enveloping my body in warmth. “If I answer your questions, will you do a favor for me?”
I gave him a wary look. I’ve had experience with vampires and favors before. “It depends.”
“So coy you are.” He chuckled. “I see I have still to prove myself. All right, little dove. I’ll answer you in good faith.” He leaned close to whisper in my ear, “But I’ll expect something in kind.”
My skin tightened over my body in anticipation. “Alcántara?” I reminded him.
He began to lead us down the beach. “I’ve known women before, and I can say, you are one of the most tenacious.”
Jealousy mowed through me. I stopped short, feeling gutted. “You’ve known many women?”
His smile gleamed in the moonlight. “Are you jealous?”
“No,” I lied.
“Ah. Because I’d hoped perhaps you might be jealous.”
I did a little jog to catch up to him. “You’re trying to avoid my question.”
“I don’t recall hearing one.”
“Do you have special knowledge Alcántara wants?”
He laughed. “No, nothing so clever.”
“Then did you double-cross him way back when?” When he shook his head, I continued to rack my brain for why the Spanish vampire might be so interested in him. “I’m trying to figure out why he has it out for you. He wants to pin these murders on you, you know. Do you have some sort of…special powers or something?”
“We, all of us, have our talents,” he replied mysteriously.
“All of us?” I slowed my pace, considering. “Even Acari?”
“Even Acari.” He tugged my hand, pulling me forward again. “The blood merely intensifies these talents.”
“How do I know what my talent is?”
He reached over and patted my bottom. “You strike me as a most talented woman.”
I grunted and hopped away. I wouldn’t let him distract me. “Your accent gets thicker when you’re being…improper.”
“Improper, is it?”
“Inappropriate.”
“Indelicate?” He waggled his brows just before he rounded a corner, disappearing into shadows. It was a cave—I hadn’t noticed the opening until he ducked inside. “Then you may not want to follow me in here,” he called out to me.
The opening was narrow and sheltered from sight, but once I followed him in, I saw how the cavern opened up, tunneling deep into the rock. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust, and I peered into the blackness, unable to tell just how far back it went. “Cool.”
“It’s a sea cave. There are several throughout the island. Viking marauders once hid here.”
“And now it’s favored by vampire marauders?”
He laughed, and it was a deeply satisfying sound. “Are you accusing me of plunder and pillage?”
I caught my breath. I’ll just bet he knew a little something about pillaging. I wondered if he’d try anything tonight, in the seclusion of our hideaway. “Time will tell, Carden McCloud.”
I sat next to him, looking out of the cave mouth onto the beach. I resisted the urge to lean in to him and res
t my head on his shoulder. Head resting would lead to other things, things that made me nervous, just a little.
Besides, before our precious time got away from us, I needed to understand the Alcántara rivalry. “So,” I said, picking up where we’d left off, “what’s your talent?”
He stroked a slow finger up my leg. “I have great talents at my disposal.”
My body felt like it was on fire. I shifted away, feeling shy that he might kiss me, yet scared that he might not. “You said you’d answer my question.”
His hand rested heavy on my thigh. “Such focus, love. If you must.” He sighed, a world-weary sound. “To understand Hugo’s recent…attentions, you must understand my history. The Clan McCloud descends from an ancient Celtic line. My ancestors were priests of a sort, of the old religion.”
“Wait.” I watched his profile in the shadows, trying to follow. “You mean like the Druids?”
“I mean like the Druids. These men had an ability for what they called the second sight.”
I tried to picture him in a long brown robe, sleeping in the woods, chanting, and living on berries. I shook my head.…I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. “You were a Druid?”
He laughed. “Not hardly. I was a soldier.”
Now, that I could picture. He’d have had a sword or musket slung over a gritty, sweat-stained shirt. His eyes would be hard, his walk sure and powerful. I wished I could’ve seen it.
I felt a pang of loss, of all that I’d never know about Carden—his long-ago past, his unending future. I had to glance away, squinting hard at the moonlight dancing on the waves.
“My ancestors merely passed their gifts down our family line,” he continued, oblivious to my reverie.
I cleared my throat, focusing. “So before you were a vampire, you had this second sight? Like premonitions?”
He shrugged. “Perhaps I was a more intuitive man than most. It was only when I turned Vampire that my gift became amplified.” His hand grew still on my thigh, his thoughts lost to another time.
I asked quietly, “Is that why you knew to come to me when I dreamed of you?”
He became present again, life snapping back into those eyes. “With our bond, my mind is open to yours. I felt…needed by you, yes.”
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