by Jessica Hart
'She's dancing with Gib.'
'Honestly, Josh, I'm exhausted,' Bella tried, but Josh was determined.
'This isn't going to require any energy,' he said as the band struck up a slow tune to give everyone a chance to cool down. 'We just need to stand there and sway a bit, I'm no good at doing anything else anyway.'
He put out his hand again. 'Come on, Bella, you can manage that, and it's only me!'
That's right, it was only Josh. Bella clung to the thought as she relented and took his hand. Following him onto the floor, she told herself that she could hardly refuse to dance with him. He really would think something was wrong then, and there wasn't. It was only Josh.
Only Josh's arms around her. Only Josh's broad chest tantalisingly close. Only Josh's cheek resting comfortably against her hair. They had danced like this countless times before, so why was it different now? Why this sudden longing to tighten her arms around his back, to lean against him and press her face into his throat?
Bella swallowed. 'Great wedding.'
'You certainly seem to have been having a good time.' Josh sounded amused rather than jealous. 'What's with this new interest in toy boys, Bella? I've lost count of the callow youths I've seen you reduce to stammering incoherence tonight! You realise you've spoilt them for life,' he went on cheerfully. 'They're going to be dreaming about finding a woman like you for years to come, and most of them are going to end up disappointed. You ought to come with a health warning for young men!'
'It never bothered you,' said Bella, more sharply than she had intended, and Josh pulled away slightly to look at her with puzzled frown.
'It was different for me.'
'I know,' she said.
Why? she wondered. Why didn't he desire her like other men? He had never so much as hinted that he wanted her as anything more than a friend. And she would have been appalled if he had, Bella reminded herself honestly.
So why was it suddenly so hard to dance with him like this? It was if something was unravelling uncontrollably inside her, and she didn't know what it was or how to stop it. She was agonisingly conscious of him as he held her against him, not too close, but close enough to be aware of the solid strength of his body, of the warmth of his hand on her back, and the feel of his fingers curled around hers.
Terrified that she was pressing herself against him, Bella held herself stiffly. Her tongue seemed to be stuck to roof of mouth, and she felt absurdly shy of him. As the silence lengthened, she was even reduced to asking how work was going.
'Very well,' said Josh, almost as if he too was relieved at her attempt to break the increasingly tense silence. 'Things have really taken off since Aisling joined us. With her background at C.B.C.-they're our major client-she's been incredibly useful, as she knows how both organisations work.'
'Really?' said Bella, trying to force some interest into her voice.
'There's a possibility of a big contract coming up. It could be the one that changes everything for us.'
'Why is it so important?'
'It would mean expanding internationally,' Josh told her. 'C.B.C. are based in Paris, but they've got subsidiary offices around the world. We did some work for head office recently, and now they want us to implement the same training system globally.'
Bella perked up a bit, impressed in spite of herself. 'That sounds cool.'
'It might be "cool", but every national office has a lot of independence, and most are very resistant to the idea of trainers being parachuted in from head office. In some countries it's vital to establish a personal relationship with the senior executives before you start doing business.'
'You can hardly go around the world introducing yourself to every office!'
'Quite,' he agreed in a dry voice, 'but once a year C.B.C. invite the most successful executives and partners on an all-expenses-paid holiday. It's mainly intended as a social occasion and a reward for high-achievers, but it also ensures they all share in the same company ethic'
'I'd share the ethics of any company that sent me on an all-expenses-paid holiday,' said Bella, glad that the conversation seemed to be distracting her somewhat from the pulse that beat in Josh's throat, right where she would most like to rest her face.
'That's my Bella, ever the moralist!'
Bella tore her eyes from his pulse. 'So where do they do all this bonding?'
'It's in the Seychelles this year. They're taking over a hotel on one of the small islands, and C.B.C. suggested that I go along. They think it would be a good opportunity to meet a lot of those people I may have to deal with on a social basis.'
Only Josh could sound glum about being offered a free trip to the Seychelles!
'Are you going to go?'
He lifted his shoulders as well as he could given that he had one arm round her waist and the other was holding her hand. 'Those kinds of corporate jaunts aren't really my thing,' he said, 'but Aisling thinks I should go.'
Surprise, surprise, was Bella's first jaundiced thought. 'I suppose she'll be going as well?'
'Yes.' If Josh noticed the acid tinge to her voice, he gave no sign of it. 'She's the one with all the contacts and she says it's important for me to meet people and talk about what we can do for them.'
'Really?' said Bella again, this time with a distinct layer of frost. For years now, she had been telling him that he needed to network if he wanted his company to take off, but he had never listened to her when she suggested that he needed to go out and meet people.
At least that unsettling urge to turn her face into his and press her lips against his jaw was receding, which was something of a relief. Getting cross seemed to be an excellent cure for that, anyway.
'I'm sure Aisling's right,' she said coolly, 'but I'm not sure I can see you on a beach holiday.'
'God, no.' Josh shuddered at the thought. 'I'd go mad if I had nothing to do but sit in the sun all day, but Aisling says these events are always activity-based.'
'Oh?' Bella was getting a bit sick of hearing what Aisling said.
'It's not dissimilar from the way we work with people on expeditions to build up teamwork and trust,' he said. 'Activities like diving or climbing or bush-walking are an excellent way for staff from different offices to get to know each other and bond at a more than superficial level. When you're all being challenged, you've got to be able to communicate.'
'So you're always saying,' said Bella, who had never had any trouble communicating from a sofa with a phone in her hand.
Josh grinned. 'I know your idea of the great outdoors doesn't extend beyond a veranda, but other people get a lot out of being pushed to do things they've never done before.'
'That'll be schmoozing a room for you,' said Bella tartly. 'What else is on offer?'
'I'm not sure. Aisling's keen to go scuba-diving, and there'll probably be sailing as well, so I might not be too bored.'
She sighed. It all sounded a bit too hearty for her. 'What's wrong with lying on warm white sand?' she asked. 'You can network just as effectively at a beach bar, you know.'
'We don't all have your ability to forge intimate bonds over a piña colada,' said Josh.
'It's a lot more useful than being able to dive. How much networking can you do underwater? It's just a lot of pointing and blowing bubbles.'
'You being such an expert on diving!'
'I've seen it on telly,' said Bella a little sulkily.
Josh laughed. 'You just don't like the idea of getting your hair wet. Luckily, Aisling isn't quite such a princess in these matters!'
Of course not. Aisling would tie her hair up sensibly, wear practical clothes and leave her high heels behind.
Good luck to her, thought Bella sourly. If she wanted to spend a week underwater in a rubber suit with a tank on her back when she could have a soft tropical beach and a warm lagoon and a long, cool drink brought to her lounger on a tray, that was her problem!
'By the way,' said Josh, swinging Bella round in what was for him a nifty bit of footwork, 'did you g
et a chance to talk to Phoebe?'
He had tightened his arm around her so that she didn't lose her balance as she swung, and it was enough to make every nerve in Bella's body jump to attention. Her heart did an odd sort of flip-flop and then settled with a thud that left her momentarily breathless.
'Talk to Phoebe?' she echoed, struggling to sound normal.
'About Aisling moving in to the house.'
'Oh, yes. Yes, I did.' Bella took a steadying breath.
She wished the music would stop and that Josh would let her go. It might be easier to concentrate then.
'What did she say?'
For a treacherous moment Bella wondered if she could throw the blame onto Phoebe, but she knew that wouldn't be fair. 'She left it up to me,' she told Josh the truth instead. 'But to be honest I think I'd like to keep the house to myself for a while.'
There, that sounded reasonable enough, didn't it? More tactful anyway than 'I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than share a house with Aisling,' which was the alternative.
'Fair enough,' said Josh. 'Aisling will be disappointed, though. She thought you would get on really well together.'
'Did she?'
'Yes, she likes you a lot.'
Bella didn't believe that for a minute. Aisling might smile sweetly, but her green eyes had always held a distinctly cool look. Bella had a fair idea it was a pretty accurate reflection of her own expression when the two of them met.
'Really?' she said in what she hoped was a suitably neutral tone.
'Oh, yes.' Josh nodded. 'She's told me so several times.'
Oh, well, if he was going to believe everything Aisling said…!
How naive could you get? Bella wondered. She would have expected Josh to be more perceptive. He must be really besotted with Aisling if he believed every word she said. The thought was profoundly depressing somehow.
To Bella's intense relief, the music ended just then, and Josh let her go. 'I hope she'll find somewhere else soon,' she said, feeling more in control of herself and thinking she had better make the effort to be pleasant. 'I'm sure there are more convenient places than Tooting, in any case.'
'Perhaps you're right.' Josh didn't seem unduly perturbed. 'She can move in with me in the meantime anyway. You couldn't get more convenient than that!'
'What?' Bella stopped dead in dismay.
'Well, she's got to five somewhere,' he pointed out reasonably. 'She has to move out of her current flat at the end of next week, and she won't have anywhere else to go-'
'But you never wanted anyone living with you before!' Josh was famously solitary.
He shrugged. 'Aisling's different. She's a very special lady. We get on really well, and we've got a lot in common.'
Bella felt sick. Now look what she had done! 'You don't think it'll be a bit much, living and working together?'
'We won't know until we try, will we? It hasn't been a problem keeping our professional and private relationships separate so far. I think it'll work out fine.'
So that was that.
Bella couldn't believe how disastrously her refusal to share the house with Aisling had backfired. She had never dreamt that Josh was serious enough to ask Aisling to move in with him! He had always guarded his privacy so carefully. Previous girlfriends might spend the weekend with him, but he had never asked them if they wanted to leave so much as a toothbrush.
And now here he was, sharing his flat and his life with Aisling, of all people!
Bella didn't like it. Before, she had always known when she could find Josh on his own, but now he was with Aisling all the time. As the weeks after Kate's wedding passed, she saw him less and less often. When she did, she looked for signs that he was feeling crowded, or to hear that Aisling was moving into her own place, but she had to admit that they both seemed perfectly happy.
And she had no one to blame but herself. Bella could see that quite clearly. She had pushed them into living together, and now she was just going to have to accept the situation.
She didn't have to like it, though. And she missed Josh. She missed him terribly. Just his friendship, of course, she reassured herself, but still, it was a big gap in her life.
For a while she pinned her hopes on Will. She convinced herself that everything would be different when he came back from Hong Kong. Absence would work its usual miracle and the moment she saw him again she would realise just how much he meant to her.
Only it wasn't like that. She was pleased to see him, and they got on well, but something had changed. Will could see it as clearly as she did.
'I'm sorry,' she said miserably. 'It's not you. I don't know what's wrong with me.'
'Hey, don't worry about it,' said Will, who was turning out to be a real sweetie. Bella had never appreciated him properly before. 'We can still be friends.'
In some ways, Will took over Josh's role, although he could never know her as well as Josh did. Bella knew it wouldn't be long before he found someone else-he was too good-looking to stay single for long-but in the meantime they got on much better than when they had been a couple.
Her life was much quieter than it had been before…before what? All Bella knew was that she didn't feel like going to parties any more for some reason, and that now she preferred meeting friends for a quiet drink or going to see a film.
The theatre had never held any interest for her before either, but when Will said that he had managed to get a couple of tickets for the newest and most spectacular show in town, she actually found herself looking forward to it instead of rolling her eyes and wishing they were going to the hottest new club.
She met Will in the foyer of the theatre and together they climbed the sweeping staircases to the main bar. The room was crowded with theatre-goers anxious to get a drink before the curtain went up. Together they pushed their way through to the bar, only to come face to face with Josh and Aisling, who had managed to get their drinks and were heading out of the throng.
Bella's heart jerked horribly when she saw Josh, and she plucked frantically at Will's sleeve to catch his attention.
Josh, on the other hand, was unaffectedly pleased to see her. 'Bella! Where have you been hiding yourself?'
Clearly his heart wasn't somersaulting sickeningly around in his chest at the sight of her, and it cost him nothing to lean forward, still grasping both drinks, to kiss her cheek.
'I haven't seen you for ages!' he said, and then his eyes fell on Will and his face hardened. 'Oh,' he said flatly. 'You're back, are you?'
Will was rather taken aback by his tone. 'Back?'
'According to Bella, you were single-handedly saving the global economy in Hong Kong while the rest of us mere mortals were at Kate's wedding.'
'I wouldn't say that,' said Will modestly, 'but we did manage to brush through that particular crisis.'
'When did you get back?' Josh's tone was unfriendly, and he was eyeing Will like a dog with its hackles up.
'Some time ago-'
'I'm sorry we haven't been in touch-' Bella interrupted, putting her arm around Will's waist and leaning winsomely into him '-but you know what it's like when one of you has been away.' She gave him a meaningful squeeze. 'We haven't seen anybody really, have we, darling?'
Will's expression flickered, but he rose to the occasion wonderfully and put his arm around her and agreed that they hadn't felt like being very social.
'I'm glad everything's going well for you,' said Josh, not looking in the slightest bit glad, and not sounding it either.
'Oh, yes, everything's perfect,' cooed Bella. 'Isn't it, Will?'
'Perfect,' he echoed, somewhat woodenly.
'Anyway, enough about us! How are things with you two?' Bella asked brightly.
Josh handed Aisling her drink so that he could put his free arm around her in imitation of the way Will and Bella were standing. 'We're great,' he said.
Did Bella imagine it, or was that a defensive edge to his voice?
'It's not like you to come to the theatre, Bella,' Aisling
put in. 'Josh was just saying that you've always been too much of a drama queen yourself to ever want to watch anyone else getting all the attention on stage!'
Bella could imagine Josh saying that, but not in the way Aisling made it sound. 'No, well, I'm rather surprised to see you two here as well,' she countered sweetly. 'I thought you preferred being outdoors, competing as to who has the muddiest boots or the dirtiest towel.'
'We like being active,' Aisling agreed, her smile every bit as fixed as Bella's. 'But we enjoy culture too.'
Josh didn't look as if he was enjoying himself. Bella raised her brows, but before she could retort, Will had tugged at her. 'If you want that drink, Bella, we'd better get going.'
'Of course.' Bella smiled sweetly at Josh and Aisling. 'See you later!'
'Culture!' she exploded the moment they were out of earshot. 'It's only a musical! And Josh will hate it!'
'So, do you want to tell me what that was all about?' said Will when he had caught the barmaid's attention and could hand Bella a gin and tonic.
Bella didn't pretend not to know what he was talking about. 'I didn't want Josh to know that we've split up.'
'I gathered that,' he said dryly.
'Thanks for playing along,' she told him.
Will looked at her curiously. 'I thought Josh was your big buddy?' he said. 'I assumed he'd be the first person you would tell if you split up.'
'Normally he would be,' admitted Bella, 'but he was so unpleasant about you at Kate's wedding that it made me cross, and besides-'
'Besides what?' asked Will when she stopped.
'Nothing.' She couldn't explain why it had seemed such a good idea at the time to let Josh believe that she was still madly in love with Will.
Will raised his brows. 'It must be six weeks since Kate got married. Do you mean to say that he still doesn't know?'
'I just haven't had an opportunity to tell him,' said Bella, swirling her gin defensively.
'You did more than not tell him just now,' he pointed out. 'You went out of your way to make him think that we were still very much together!'
'I know,' she said guiltily. 'I just can't stand the thought of Aisling feeling sorry for me. You saw what she was like. She'd be all warm and sympathetic and oh-so-slightly smug because she and Josh are so cosy together.' Bella grimaced at the thought and took a slug of gin. 'You know they're living together now?'
