by Jessica Hart
He would have to try, Josh told himself sternly. Bella had laughed afterwards, and it had been clear that she didn't intend to take the kiss seriously at all, so he should do the same. After all, this was Bella, not some mysteriously sexy and seductive stranger.
He glanced at her now, hugging her arms against the cold while the long, golden hair was whipped about her face. Yes, that was Bella all right. She was as stylish as ever, but quite unsuitably dressed for travel in a short figure-hugging dress that looked as if would crease the moment she sat down. All she had to keep her warm was an insubstantial little cardigan, and her feet with their immaculately painted toes were encased in fragile sandals with-Josh did a double take-yes, jewelled straps of all things. Over the years, Bella's ridiculously impractical shoes had become something of a running joke, but these ones really took the biscuit!
Aisling would never get on a plane wearing shoes like that, even without all those absurd fake jewels. Once her feet had swollen during the long flight, there wasn't a hope in hell that Bella would be able to get those tiny straps on again, so she would be hobbling off the plane at best.
No doubt Bella would carry it off with style, though. She might be unsuitably dressed but she was undeniably gorgeous with her long legs, that warm curving mouth and those blue eyes with their tilting lashes.
Josh made himself look away. She had always been gorgeous, of course. He just wished that he could stop noticing just how gorgeous now. There was no point in noticing. Bella was his friend, and any relationship they had was based on personality and not on looks.
'We both know how things are,' she had said. 'I know you're in love with Aisling, and you know about Will.' There would be no room for misunderstanding, she had said.
And there wouldn't be, Josh told himself firmly.
'Come on,' he said, seeing her shiver, 'let's go and check in.' He reached for her case only to grunt as he heaved it off the ground. 'For God's sake, Bella! What have you got in here?'
'Just a few essentials,' she said airily.
'But you're only going to lie on a beach! How many clothes can you wear every day?'
'It's not just clothes,' Bella said, teetering along beside him in her absurd shoes. 'You've got to be very careful about the sun nowadays. UV rays can do terrible things to your skin and hair, so I've brought all sorts of special moisturisers and sun screen and after-sun lotions. And then you've got to worry about your hair,' she told Josh, who had never given his hair a moment's thought. 'I've got a protective lotion to put on when I go into the sea, and a conditioner for when I come out, and there's shampoo, of course, and another conditioner for the evening…'
She chattered on as they waited in the queue for the check-in desk. Josh was desperately aware of her beside him as she combed out the tangles in her wind-blown hair and threw the golden mass back from her face. She was like a cat with her constant grooming, he tried to think disapprovingly, but he kept losing track of what she was saying and why he was supposed to be exasperated as his mind drifted back to the warmth and softness of her lips against his.
'Anyway, enough of that.' Bella shook back her hair and laid a hand on his arm, her eyes deep and very blue. 'How are you feeling, Josh?'
How was he feeling?
Alarmed by the frisson that went through him at the touch of her hand.
Disturbed by the memories of her kiss.
Guilty about the treacherous way his mind kept wandering.
'Fine,' said Josh a little hoarsely.
'Yes, I know you're going to say fine,' she said as the queue shuffled forwards, 'but you don't need to be stiff-upper-lipped with me. How do you really feel? Are you dreading seeing Aisling with Bryan or Bryn or whatever he calls himself?'
Aisling. Josh clutched at the thought of her. She was the perfect excuse for his distraction this morning.
'I can't say I'm looking forward to it,' he said.
She tucked a hand into his, and when he looked at her, the blue eyes were warm with sympathy. 'I know it will be hard,' she said, 'but don't forget that I'm here for you.'
Josh's throat was absurdly tight. 'Thanks, Bella,' he managed and his fingers curled and tightened around hers in spite of himself. 'You're a good friend.'
'I always will be,' said Bella, her own smile wavering a little.
All in all, it was a relief when they reached the check-in desk at last, and Josh was forced to let go of her hand. He had a nasty feeling that he wouldn't have been able to do it otherwise.
He must pull himself together, he told himself with an edge of desperation. Wasn't he supposed to be the expert on dealing with difficult situations? The trouble was that it was easy to know what to do when you had to rescue a colleague who had fallen down a crevasse in the ice, or get someone dangerously ill out of the jungle and into hospital when your radio wasn't working and it was three days' trek to the nearest settlement.
Even winning the contract with C.B.C. was a doddle compared to coping with this sudden, disturbing awareness of his best friend. Josh didn't like feeling out of control. He could train executives how to analyse a situation, assess the risks involved and communicate effectively to resolve problems, but he didn't know how to deal with this.
He handed Bella her boarding pass. 'We'd better go and find the others,' he said, clearing his throat. 'They're probably in the bar.'
It was Bella who spotted Aisling first, warning Josh with a nudge as she put her arm through his and tilted her chin at a combative angle. There was a look in her eyes that Josh recognised, and it usually meant trouble. When Bella wore that expression it made you very glad that she was on your side.
'You promised you would be nice,' he reminded her. 'Remember we've got a contract to win here.'
'Of course,' said Bella, but Josh didn't entirely trust the smile she flashed at him.
He was so preoccupied with whether she would behave that he came face to face with Aisling before he had a chance to think about how it was going to feel to confront the woman he had been planning to marry until three days ago. In the event, Josh was puzzled to find that he didn't feel anything at all.
'Hello,' he said, as he kissed her on the cheek. 'You're looking very well.'
It was true. He had never seen her look so beautiful before. She was glowing with happiness. If Josh had needed anything to convince him that Aisling had made the right decision, one look at her now would have been enough. He had never made her happy the way being with Bryn clearly did.
As he had guessed, she was dressed much more sensibly than Bella in loose khaki trousers, a soft cream shirt and sandals that managed to look elegant and practical at the same time.
'Hi, Josh,' she greeted him, and then lowered her voice so that none of the others waiting in the bar with them would hear. 'How are you?'
Josh was beginning to get a little tired of being asked that. 'I'm fine,' he said again, although he doubted whether Aisling would' believe him any more than Bella had. He was fine, though. Why couldn't they just accept that?
Beside him he could feel Bella bristling but she seemed to have herself under control. 'You remember Bella, don't you?'
'Hello, Aisling,' she said in a frosty voice.
There was scarcely more warmth in the way Aisling returned her greeting, and the green eyes were distinctly cool.
'Congratulations,' she said for the benefit of their audience. 'I gather you and Josh have just got engaged,' she added. 'Quite a whirlwind romance!'
'No,' said Bella, meeting her eyes squarely. 'It's just taken us fourteen years to realise how much we love each other.'
'Convenient that you realised in time for a trip to the Seychelles,' Aisling commented slyly.
Josh tensed, but Bella managed an insincere smile. 'Wasn't it?' she said sweetly. 'I can't tell you how thrilled lam.'
She turned to the man beside Aisling. He was tall and classically good-looking and seemed exceptionally pleased with himself, Josh noted sourly. Just Bella's type, in fact. He found himself watchi
ng her anxiously, but she just shook Bryn's hand with a cool smile.
'I bet you anything I'm right about him being called Bryan,' she whispered under her breath to Josh as he steered her quickly away to meet some of the others. 'See if you can get a look at his passport!'
'You're supposed to be being good,' said Josh repressively, but he couldn't help grinning.
As if by common consent the party had all forgathered in the bar. There were sixteen of them altogether, and although those who worked for C.B.C. naturally knew each other, their partners were strangers and conversation had evidently been stilted to begin with.
Things picked up noticeably when Bella joined the group. She had always had an ability to get the party going, and before long she was making everyone laugh and relax. Josh watched her animated face as she leant forward to draw out the shy wife of one of the junior C.B.C. executives. She might not have the necessary skills to survive out in the wild, but there was nothing he or anyone else could tell her about how to get on in a social setting!
He had found them seats on the other side of the group from Aisling and Bryn, who were talking to the senior C.B.C. manager and her partner, and he began to relax himself until he noticed that Bella had sat back next to him and was sending searching glances at Bryn from beneath her lashes.
Josh's immediate thought was that she had found Bryn attractive after all, and he glowered. 'Why do you keep staring at Bryn?' he demanded crossly.
Bella leant closer. 'I'm trying to imagine him with a personality,' she confided in his ear and Josh was startled at the rush of relief he felt.
'He's completely bland,' she went on, going back to her study of Bryn with a puzzled frown. 'I can't understand it. How could Aisling leave you for someone like that?'
'She's in love with him,' said Josh, trying to be fair.
'Yes, that's obvious,' Bella agreed. 'She's all lit up, and anyone can see that it's because of him. I just can't see why, that's all.'
Josh followed her gaze. Now that he knew that Bella wasn't interested, he could study the other man dispassionately. 'He's very good-looking,' he offered as an explanation.
'I suppose so.' Bella sounded unconvinced, and Josh glanced at her in some surprise.
'I'd have said that he was just your type.'
She looked taken aback. 'Really?'
'He's got that smug, self-satisfied look you seem to go for,' said Josh, unable to resist it. 'You've got to admit that he looks a bit like Will, who looked just like all your other boyfriends.'
Bella stared openly at Bryn. 'I don't think he looks anything like Will,' she told him. 'There's nothing to him at all.'
Josh didn't think there had been anything to Will, either, but he remembered just in time that Bella was in love with the man. He would have to be more tactful. She hadn't stooped to making personal comments about Aisling, although knowing the sharpness of her tongue on occasion and judging by the frostiness of the atmosphere between the two women she was more than capable of it.
'Bryn's not your type, then?' he asked lightly instead, and she turned from Bryn to look directly at him, blue eyes unusually serious.
'No,' she said. 'He's not my type at all.'
Josh was conscious of an odd hollow feeling inside as he stared back into her eyes, and he swallowed. 'Good,' he said, but his voice sounded very strange.
He felt a bit odd too. If he wasn't someone who was never ill, he would be wondering if he was coming down with something. At least it would explain this peculiar fuzzy feeling and inability to focus. He shook his head slightly, hoping to clear it. He must be more tired than he had thought.
Bella had turned and introduced herself to the woman sitting on her other side.
'I've been admiring your ring,' Bella's new friend was saying. When Josh looked at her more closely he realised that he had met her before. What was her name again? Sue? Sarah? No, Sally, he remembered.
'It's beautiful,' Sally said enviously. 'Have you two been engaged long?'
'Not long, no,' said Bella. 'Actually, only since last Friday.'
'Oh, how romantic!'
'Well, it is and it isn't,' Bella said. 'We've known each other for a long time, so it's not as if we're rushing into anything.'
'So what made you decide to get married now?'
Bella glanced at Josh and then away. 'It's a funny thing,' she said slowly. 'I just looked at him one day and knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, and that being friends wasn't enough any more.'
Sally smiled. 'And Josh felt the same?'
Bella's own smile was a little strained. 'You'd have to ask him that.'
She was very convincing, Josh thought bitterly, and he was almost relieved when Aisling moved to a chair slightly behind him and drew him out of the circle.
'I just wanted to thank you for taking it all so well, Josh,' she said under cover of the general conversation. 'You could have made it very difficult for me to come on this trip with Bryn if you'd wanted to.'
'There's no point in that,' said Josh, feeling curiously detached. It was hard to believe that this was a woman he had slept with, a woman he had planned to spend the rest of his life with. 'We're still working together after all,' he pointed out, 'and I want us both to be able to concentrate on winning this contract. It's not just your job that depends on it.'
Aisling looked a little daunted by his matter-of-fact attitude. He was obviously supposed to be broken-hearted by her rejection. 'I hope you know I never meant to hurt you,' she said.
'Don't worry about it,' said Josh briskly. 'I'm glad you seem so happy.'
'I am. I hope you will be, too.'
Involuntarily, Josh glanced at Bella, deep in conversation with Sally and completely oblivious of him.
Aisling followed his gaze. 'You know, Josh, it would have been a terrible mistake if I had married you,' she said. 'Bella would always have been there between us.'
'Bella's not like that at all,' he objected furiously.
'Maybe she isn't, but she would have come between us all the same,' said Aisling. 'I wasn't at all surprised when you said that you were bringing her in my place. I always thought you had always been much more in love with her than you wanted to admit.'
Josh felt as if he had walked smack into a wall in the dark, leaving him jarred and disorientated. 'That's rubbish,' he said unevenly. 'Bella and I are just good friends. We always have been and we always will be. You've seen us together, Aisling. You know there's no question of anything else.'
Aisling smiled faintly as she got up. 'Isn't there?' she said.
Josh stared after her. In love with Bella? No, he couldn't be! Aisling didn't know what she was talking about. He loved Bella, of course, the same way he loved his sister.
Except that he never knew whether his sister had been in the room just by the fragrance in the air, did he? He couldn't close his eyes and conjure up his sister's image down to the last tilt of her lashes. And, fond as he was of her, he never felt better just knowing that his sister was there.
The way he did with Bella.
Oh, God, he was in love with her!
It was as if the world had suddenly tilted, leaving Josh sliding and slipping towards a precipitous drop, and struggling frantically to claw his way back to safe ground where Bella was just the same as she had always been.
When had it happened? Had she changed, or had he?
'What did Aisling want?' Bella broke into his reeling thoughts and Josh stared at her stupidly.
'She just…'
Just wanted to blow his life apart. To rock the foundations of his world. To throw everything he thought he felt about his best friend into doubt.
'… she just wanted to thank me,' he said, astounded that his voice came out sounding almost normal.
'What for?'
'For understanding how she felt about Bryn. She said she was grateful.'
'As well she might be,' Bella sniffed, remembering the emerald ring Aisling was still flaunting. At least she had h
ad the decency to wear it on her right hand.
That had been a very intimate chat the two of them had been having, though, and Josh had looked shell-shocked when Aisling had walked away. 'Did she say anything else?'
Josh hesitated. 'Only that she thought it would have been a terrible mistake if we had got married.'
'She would say that, wouldn't she? Mind you, she's not the only one that thinks so,' Bella told him. 'I've just been talking to Sally there. She says she's worked with you a couple of times and that she likes you a lot but she was never mad about Aisling when she was at C.B.C. She told me that she'd heard rumours that the two of you had got together, and she said she was glad when she met me to find out that it wasn't true.'
'What did you say?'
It was Bella's turn to hesitate. 'Well, I thought I'd better let her believe that she'd misunderstood, so I said that you were mine and always had been.'
She laughed to show that she hadn't really meant it, and then she made the mistake of looking into Josh's eyes again, and the desperate expression she saw there made her heart stop for a second. She had never seen Josh look like that before.
'Are you OK?'
'Yes…' He shook his head as if to clear it. 'It was just something Aisling said…' He stopped, unable to continue.
A tide of shame and guilt surged through Bella. What had she been thinking of, joking about their pretend relationship and making snippy comments about Aisling when it was all still so raw for Josh? She had forgotten how he might feel about seeing Aisling again. He was so cool and self-contained that it was easy to forget that he might not be nearly as fine as he claimed to be, but she of all people should have known better.
'I'm sorry, Josh,' she said, contrite.
That strange expression flickered in his eyes again. 'It's not your fault,' he said.
What had Aisling said to him? Even she wouldn't be tactless enough to ask, thought Bella, but it must have been something that had made the whole situation come home to him.
