Dressage Dreaming (Horses Heal Hearts Book 1)

by Kimberly Beckett

  Under Michael’s tutelage, Jessica was making great strides in mastering the big stallion. As she viewed video after video of her training sessions, Liz was mightily impressed with Michael’s skill as a trainer, and quite frankly felt a bit unneeded at this point. She reminded herself that Michael was still the competition, and that although she didn’t see video of Michael’s rides like she had of Jess, Michael had to be making progress with the stallion as well.

  Liz also had to acknowledge that she really missed being there in person, and definitely wanted to have a chance to ride Tempest herself. He was such a magnificent animal, and with the right rider, could easily be a world and Olympic champion. Liz knew she could be that rider. Stop dreaming, Liz. That’s not your life now. You have other responsibilities. Liz sighed. Competitive riding wasn’t in her future, as much as she might want it. She had too many responsibilities between the therapeutic riding business and her daughter. There just wasn’t the time to devote to her riding that she would need to compete at the highest levels. She, of anyone, knew that. Her job now was to coach Jess to success, and she was determined to do just that.

  Chapter 16

  Blake McMillan was making last minute arrangements for his trip to the UK, ostensibly for business, but in reality to finally make his move on Jessica and make her his. He had been avidly watching the videos his sister Charlotte provided him of Jessica riding Tempest and what he saw confirmed that this woman was exactly what he wanted. Blake knew nothing of dressage, but watched Jessica’s training sessions in open admiration. Her lithe, athletic body, especially those long, beautiful legs, entranced him more than any woman had in recent memory. He could easily imagine her riding him with the same fluid, athletic grace, her hips undulating over him, draining him of every last—he stopped in his reflection to adjust his pants, which had suddenly become much tighter. God, he had to get over there, and soon.

  ~ ~ ~

  It had been three days since Tempest’s near disaster, and David declared him ready for riding. Michael allowed Jessica to take the first day, and they were back to their routine in no time. Although their personal relationship had changed, both Jessica and Michael worked hard to maintain a professional demeanor when they rode, although Jessica was now openly spending time watching Michael’s training sessions, even going so far as to occasionally offer advice and observations.

  Michael was finding Jessica’s active participation in his sessions a joy, and he appreciated the extent of her knowledge and expertise. She also had a very good eye for finding subtleties in his approach to Tempest that enhanced even his own experienced approach. It seemed amazing to him, but it felt as though their physical relationship enhanced their ability to communicate on all levels. It was a heady feeling. He knew he had never had this kind of connection with Emma.

  The depth of his feelings for Jessica frightened him in its intensity. Truly, they had only been together as a couple for a matter of days, but it felt as though he had known her forever. In addition, his desire for her had only escalated since their first encounter. It had been impossible to stay away from her after their tryst in the loft, and the couple had, by mutual agreement, been meeting in their love nest in the hayloft every night since, ostensibly to keep watch for Tempest’s saboteur. After their first night, Michael made sure to bring protection, so there was no more worry about an accidental pregnancy, which neither of them wanted or needed right now.

  Michael reflected on the past few days spent with Jessica, and couldn’t believe how happy he was. Even Ian was encouraging him to make the relationship more permanent, but there were still so many things up in the air. Michael also had to admit that in his training sessions with Jessica, she had demonstrated a reluctance to push Tempest beyond his comfort zone and elevate his performance to get the brilliance he was capable of. As a pair, Jessica and Tempest had fallen into a level of performance that got the job done, but lacked the fire necessary to compete and win at the international level. The problem was that Michael knew Tempest could perform at that level. He had asked for it and gotten it a number of times. He also understood that Jessica was probably not even aware that she was holding back. When he attempted to communicate this to Jessica in their sessions, she subtly but stubbornly resisted doing anything that might aggravate Tempest.

  He understood that always in the back of Jessica’s mind was the fear that if she were injured, or worse killed, her sister Hailey would be all alone in the world, and there was no way she would risk that. He admired her so much for her dedication and support of her sister. It had to have been difficult to survive the emotional shock of losing both parents in an instant then to take complete responsibility for her sister at only twenty-one years of age, not to mention dealing with her sudden disability. It took a very special person to take on that challenge and do it as well as Jessica had. It was one of the things he most admired, and yes, loved about her.

  Unfortunately, her reticence about pushing Tempest to the point that he might offer resistance before giving in made it less likely that she would win Tempest for herself. Michael tortured himself with the possibility that that might happen. How would she react if he won the competition for Tempest? Would she be hurt if he won? Then there was also the realization that once the competition was over, win or lose Jessica would be leaving to go back home to Ohio. Once that happened, he knew her absence would leave a gaping hole in his existence. How could they keep their relationship alive? Finally, he couldn’t avoid the fear that something unexpected might happen to ruin everything. Hadn’t he felt the same way with Emma, who then turned around and betrayed him with another?

  Chapter 17

  Lionel stood outside of Rocky’s stall and studied the gelding. Generally, Rocky’s body didn’t reveal any visible scars, but the scars he did have were telling. The fact that he was so defensive of his stall indicated to Lionel that someone had abused him while he was in the stall. The abuse could take many forms, but whatever the abuser had done had left its mark on the gelding. The nature of the horse’s defense mechanisms— threatening to bite or kick anyone invading his space—indicated the abuse was severe. It took a monumental effort to suppress the rage that surged within him as he contemplated what some human must have done to this horse to cause this behavior. He, of all people, knew what damage abuse, both visible and invisible, could cause.

  Lionel had known from a relatively early age that he was different from other boys. He had no interest in playing football or rugby but had a love of horses that transcended any other aspect of his life. In his early and mid-teens, he found himself being attracted to a couple of the other boys in his class, and was drawn to watching gay male pornography on his computer. Unfortunately, Lionel’s father had caught him watching online porn and erupted.

  His father was a dockworker at the Shoreham Port in Brighton, and refused to accept that his son was gay. He frequently abused him in a cynical attempt to “toughen him up” which only drove Lionel further away. It was after one of these beatings that Lionel rode his bike to the Brighton race track, to be close to the horses and to escape his abusive home. It was his love of horses, and the miracle of love that horses brought to him in the guise of Nigel Crawford, that ultimately saved his life. Lionel knew from experience that first and foremost he needed to get past the rage, because if this sensitive animal sensed rage, he would react in fear, and that would ruin any efforts Lionel needed to make to gain Rocky’s trust.

  As soon as he knew he would be working with Rocky, Lionel arranged with Michael’s barn staff that he be the only person to feed Rocky and the only person to clean his stall, and handle him for turn-out and the like. It was necessary that he build a relationship with the horse, and that the interactions he had with him would only be positive. He decided in Rocky’s case, that he would start by grooming the horse to find out exactly how difficult he would be to handle, and which parts of his body he was overly sensitive abou
t. In this way, he might be able to deduce how exactly Rocky had been abused by his previous owners. It had now been two days since Lionel had taken over Rocky’s care, and he noticed that Rocky now perked up a bit when he saw Lionel, which was a major improvement. When Michael had first introduced Lionel to Rocky, the horse was practically non-responsive to anyone, and had no interest in the world outside of his stall.

  Today, Lionel decided to try to take him out of his stall for the first time, and attempt to groom Rocky. Armed with some apple slices and carrot pieces for rewards, Lionel approached Rocky, led him out of his stall down the aisle then out of the barn to Michael’s round pen, which was situated between the barn and the turnout pastures. Once in the round pen, Lionel removed the lead rope, and allowed Rocky free run of the round pen without any restraint. The gelding looked only marginally interested in his surroundings, but did look to Lionel as if to ask for permission to wander. Lionel stood completely still and allowed Rocky to decide for himself what he wanted to do. Eventually, Rocky’s innate curiosity overcame his fear, and he ambled slowly around the pen, sniffing the ground and the rails. Lionel smiled to himself. This was progress.

  Lionel had left a tote with grooming tools in it near the round pen, so he went over and retrieved a curry comb and slowly approached Rocky speaking to him in low-pitched, soothing voice. Rocky looked at Lionel with some suspicion, but allowed Lionel to gradually apply the curry comb lightly all over his body, but moved away when Lionel tried to use the curry in his belly area. This indicated to Lionel that Rocky had most likely been whipped or kicked in the belly by an abuser, and was trying to protect that area from additional harm. Lionel slowly and gradually tried to move the curry to the more objectionable areas, rewarding Rocky with a carrot or apple when he allowed more freedom of movement, until all areas were covered. Lionel put away the curry and tried to cover the same area with a soft bristled brush and was successful, but ran into a new roadblock when he attempted to pick up Rocky’s feet for cleaning. Rocky’s reaction to that attempt was violent and fearful, and Lionel was forced to stop without making more progress. He closed their session with another pass of the brush over Rocky’s entire body and rewarded him with more treats, so that Rocky wouldn’t remember the negative reaction as his last experience in the round pen.

  While Lionel worked with Rocky, Michael rode his prospects, then after he finished putting his last horse of the day in his stall, he found Jessica surreptitiously watching Lionel work. She signaled Michael to silence, and motioned to him to join her. It appeared that Lionel was just finishing his session, so Jessica turned to Michael, and the pair walked down the aisle toward the house.

  “It looks like he’s making progress with Rocky,” Jessica said. “Does he have a lot of experience with abused horses?”

  “Actually, he does,” Michael said. “Lionel makes his living rehabilitating off-the-track thoroughbreds for pleasure riding, either hunt, dressage, or eventing. He is very good at it. A few of the horses he gets from the race track have been abused. There are still some grooms and track staff that are intimidated by the horses, and the only way they know to counter their fear is to bully the horses and make the horses afraid of them. It’s a sad state of affairs, but unfortunately still occurs more than one would like, especially on the lower tier tracks.”

  “How tragic,” Jessica responded. “I don’t have much experience with the race tracks in America, but my guess is that the same situation occurs there too.”

  Michael nodded, then decided to change the subject to a more pleasant topic. “I thought I’d take you to dinner at my favorite pub in Guildford, The Golden Hart. Are you interested?”

  Jessica smiled. “Sure. I’m game. What time do you want to leave?”

  Just at that moment, Lionel called out to them from the barn. “Hey, you two. What are your plans for dinner? I’m starved.”

  Michael and Jessica exchanged a pained look, but Michael turned around and called back, “We’re going to The Golden Hart. We’ll be leaving in an hour. Can you be ready?”

  “Certainly,” Lionel responded. “Don’t leave without me.”

  “Don’t tempt me,” Michael murmured under his breath, but loud enough for Jessica to hear. She smiled in response. She also would have liked to have a meal alone with Michael, since Lionel made certain to join them for breakfast, lunch, and dinner most days.

  “Actually,” Lionel said, “I have to go back to my farm for a bit to check on things. Can I meet you at the restaurant?”

  Michael smiled, then surreptitiously winked at Jessica. “Yes, of course. That would be fine. See you there.”

  As the entered the Golden Hart, the hostess beamed at him. “Michael, it is so good to see you again.”

  “Hello, Rachel,” he flashed her one of what Jessica called his “movie star smiles” at the woman, who blushed and hurried to find them a table.

  “Rachel, eh?” Jessica whispered to him, feeling pangs of jealousy she couldn’t suppress.

  “I’ve been coming here for dinner ever since I bought the yard. She’s worked here forever,” Michael said. He looked at Jessica curiously, not understanding why she sounded so annoyed. When Jessica took his hand in hers quite obviously, Michael finally understood, and grinned to himself. Recognizing Jessica’s sudden possessiveness as a sign of jealousy, he was tempted to tease her, but elected not to. Rachel might get the wrong idea, and he didn’t want two women mad at him. One was definitely enough.

  “How is Ian?” Rachel asked.

  “He’s doing all right, considering everything he’s been through lately.” Michael replied. He hoped Rachel would leave it at that. He didn’t want to get into any specifics with Rachel. The local community had supported them when the news of Ian’s arrest became public, but he wasn’t eager to share more details with the public at large.

  “Tell him we’re thinking about him,” Rachel responded.

  “I certainly will, and thank you,” Michael replied.

  After Michael suggested some of his favorite items on the menu, the trio ordered their meals. After the waitress left them, there was a bit of an awkward silence. Jessica decided to make an attempt to break the ice.

  “Lionel, I hope you don’t mind,” Jessica said, “but I watched you work with Rocky for a while today, and I was impressed with the progress you’ve made with him in just a few days.”

  “Thank you, Jessica.” Lionel smiled. “Actually, Rocky seems to be a very willing pupil, and open to my attempts to connect with him. That tells me that the abuse he received was most likely short-lived, and that I can move to the next stage of re-training. I’ve decided to use Michael’s round pen to attempt Monty Roberts’ Join Up method of training.”

  “Oh, yes. I’ve heard of that,” Jessica said. “I’ve actually seen Monty Roberts do a demonstration at the Ohio Equine Affaire a couple of years ago. He is very good.”

  “Her Majesty the Queen is much taken with Mr. Roberts,” Lionel replied. “Nigel and I saw a demonstration he put on in London at the Queen’s invitation several years ago, and we decided to incorporate his methods in our training program. It seems to work wonders with all types of horses.”

  “Who is Nigel?” Jessica asked.

  Lionel suddenly looked stricken and avoided Jessica’s gaze, focusing instead on his hands tightly folded in front of him on the table.

  When it became clear that Lionel wasn’t going to answer, Michael intervened. “Nigel was Lionel’s partner in his horse training business. I believe Nigel passed away less than a year ago.”

  “Yes, that’s right, Michael.,” Lionel said. It was clear that he was still anguished over the loss.

  “I’m so sorry, Lionel,” Jessica said. “I didn’t mean to remind you of your loss. Please forgive me.”

  “It’s all right, Jessica,” Lionel attempted a reassuring smile. “You did
n’t know. I’m trying to recover and go on as Nigel would have wanted, but I still sometimes have a hard time believing he’s really gone.”

  At that moment, their server brought their food, and the three spent the rest of their time commenting on the quality of the food, and the pleasant atmosphere, all making a concerted effort to avoid any more depressing subjects.

  On their way back from the restaurant, Jessica reflected on their conversation. She very much regretted causing Lionel to relive a painful memory when she asked him about Nigel.

  Michael noticed that Jessica was staring out of the car window, but her focus was elsewhere. “What’s troubling you, Jess?”

  She turned to look at him and smiled reassuringly. “It’s nothing, really,” Jessica replied. “I was just thinking about Lionel and Nigel. They must have been very close for Lionel to feel Nigel’s loss so strongly.”

  “From what I saw of them together, they were. I wasn’t around Lionel when he and Nigel met, but what I know is that Nigel Crawford had a business rehabilitating race horses for pleasure riding, and he saw Lionel while on one of his buying trips to the track. Nigel noticed right away how good Lionel was with the most difficult horses, and he asked Lionel if he was interested in leaving the track to work for him. Lionel was eager to leave the track and accepted.

  “From all accounts, Nigel was a good man, and loved Lionel very much. I know from seeing them together that Lionel returned that love. Lionel and Nigel lived happily together at Nigel’s farm in Hickstead, near the All England Jumping Course. Nigel had selected this location years before because many of the thoroughbreds Nigel re-trained were suitable for careers as hunter/jumpers.