To do this, Lionel turned away from Rocky, and broke eye contact, thereby inviting him to approach him with trust and submission. Lionel waited for what felt like hours, but had to have only been a few minutes, when he felt Rocky’s muzzle nudge his shoulder in a gesture of curiosity and trust, and stood there, without a trace of fear. Lionel, unaware until that very moment that he had been holding his breath, exhaled and was suddenly overcome with a wave of incredibly strong feelings. The first thought that came to mind was that he didn’t deserve the complete trust this poor abused horse was giving him. He reflected on his behavior of the past few months, especially toward his best friend Michael, and most recently his very uncharacteristic willingness to jeopardize a horse’s life, and was overcome.
Powerful emotions poured forth from Lionel as if a dam had burst, pouring wave after wave of grief, anger, fear, shame, and finally relief over him. The feelings were almost too strong to bear, and he sobbed uncontrollably, still standing in the middle of the round pen, with Rocky patiently standing at his shoulder, curious but not afraid. After several minutes of a deep, purging cry, Lionel looked up toward the heavens. Nigel, my love, I miss you so much. I’ve completely lost my way. Please help me find my way back.
Lionel received no clear answer to his plea, but knew that from this day forward, his life would be irrevocably changed. Using the front of his polo shirt to dry the tears from his face, Lionel turned to Rocky, quietly praised him for his courage and trust, clipped the lead rope back to his halter, and returned him to his stall. There was no way he was going to try any further training today. Avoiding the new arrivals, he went into his bedroom and closed the door. He had a lot of soul searching to do.
Chapter 19
The next morning, Jessica looked out the window of her room, her gaze following Michael and Blake as Michael gave her potential sponsor a tour of the yard, and finally took him into the stables to introduce him to Tempest. Jessica knew she should be accompanying the pair on the tour, but she couldn’t make herself endure any more time in close proximity to Blake, especially when Michael was also present. Ever since Blake arrived yesterday, there had been a handful of occasions where she would swear that he had maneuvered a situation so they could be alone, then he would touch her hand, or her arm, or just for a second or two put his hand on her back, while speaking to her about her progress with Tempest, in such a way that she couldn’t object, but knew by his heated looks that he was pressing for more. It was very frustrating, and worse, she realized that Michael was noticing Blake’s attempts at flirtation and had grown more distant and angry as the day progressed. Jessica didn’t know what to do.
The tension between Michael and Blake was palpable, and she didn’t have any time alone with Michael to explain that she was trying to be polite to Blake, but was doing everything she could to keep him at arm’s length. It was so difficult for Jessica to walk the fine line she needed to in order to maintain Blake’s support, but discourage his advances.
To add to Jessica’s frustration, Liz and Hailey had noticed Blake’s attitude toward Jessica and the heated glances he made no effort to hide. Liz had taken her aside and tried to warn her. “Jess, be careful with Blake. He doesn’t seem to understand that just by buying you a horse doesn’t mean he’s bought you as well.”
Jessica groaned her frustration. “How am I supposed to do that, Liz? Blake is a man who is used to having women much more beautiful and sophisticated than me throw themselves at him without shame, and isn’t accustomed to rejection. Tell me how to discourage him without jeopardizing my chances to have him as a sponsor, and I’ll be eternally grateful.”
Liz had shrugged in sympathy, clearly at a loss to help. “It may be that you just have to tell him point blank how things are. If he decides not to support you, so be it. If the USDF knew that he was sexually harassing you to keep his support, they would end their relationship and find another sponsor. I’ll make sure of it.”
“You make it sound so easy.” Jessica sighed. “All right, Liz. That’s exactly what I’ll do.” Jessica had resolved that first thing tomorrow she would do just that, and turned to go up to her room.
As she turned, Liz had reached out to touch Jess’s arm to stop her for just a moment. There was something else she was curious about, and needed to ask Jess to make sure she understood. “Jess,” Liz said. “What’s going on between you and Michael? I sense that he’s more to you than just a trainer. Am I right?”
Jessica blushed a bright red and looked anywhere but in Liz’s eyes. “Yes, Liz. Michael and I have grown very close during my time here. In fact, I think I’m falling in love with him. Better yet, I think he feels the same, although he hasn’t actually said the words yet.” As she confessed her feelings, Jessica looked up and met Liz’s eyes. Liz could see the love reflected there and smiled broadly.
“That’s great, Jess. I’m so happy for you.”
“Please don’t say anything to Michael. I’m not certain of his feelings, and don’t want him to feel any pressure, especially with Blake here right now.”
“My lips are sealed.” Liz responded with a smile.
Jessica had squeezed Liz’s hand and then had gone up to her room.
Jessica and Michael had decided to curtail their nightly encounters while Blake was in the house, and as a result, Jessica had trouble sleeping. She missed the closeness she and Michael had developed in their short time together. She smiled to herself as she reflected how her relationship with Michael had blossomed over the past month. She knew without a doubt that she was falling in love with him. When they were together, there was no one else, and there was no place she’d rather be.. When she considered that one of them would win and one would lose in this competition for Tempest, her heart sank. She wished with all her heart there could be a way they could both benefit from this competition, but after racking her brain, she couldn’t think of a thing.
Realizing that there was no way she was going to sleep, and feeling a bit hungry, she decided to raid Michael’s kitchen. Maybe a cup of tea and a fresh blueberry scone would help her relax so she could get some sleep. She would need her rest to stay sharp tomorrow. It had become clear from Blake’s behavior toward her as she showed him to his room that he expected Jessica to be grateful to him for offering to buy her a horse. Jessica was grateful, of course, but she got the definite impression that Blake expected her to show her gratitude by sleeping with him.
Jessica blushed again as she recalled her confession to Liz, but the more she thought about it, she was certain that Michael was her perfect match. She vowed she would get up the courage to confess her true feelings to him as soon as they were alone. Unfortunately, that opportunity would probably have to wait until Blake left to go back to the States. Jessica’s stomach growled, and she realized that she really hadn’t eaten that much for dinner. Stress caused by Blake’s visit and Michael’s reaction to Blake and his treatment of her had effectively ruined her appetite. Now, however, she had relaxed a bit, and was ready for some sustenance, even if was only a midnight snack. She made her way down to the kitchen and put some water on to boil. After starting the teakettle, she searched in the cupboard and found tea leaves, then found a scone in the bread box on the counter.
Suddenly, she felt another presence in the room, and looked up to see Blake in the kitchen doorway, watching her intently. A cold chill washed over Jessica when she saw the intensity of Blake’s stare. She instantly regretted her decision to venture into the kitchen alone, and looked around desperately for a possible excuse to make her escape. Unfortunately, Blake had already seen the teapot on to boil, and the tea leaves and scone on the counter.
“I see I wasn’t the only one with hunger pangs,” Blake said, his gaze never leaving Jessica’s face. “Do you mind if I join you?”
“No, of course not,” Jessica responded, attempting as best she could to exhibit a casual demeanor. “I wa
s just making some tea. There are scones in the bread box if you want one.”
“Actually, I see something far sweeter and much more desirable right in front of me,” Blake, with a lascivious smile on his face, approached Jessica, and before she realized his intention, gripped her upper arms to hold her in place, and kissed her. Stunned at Blake’s blatant aggression, Jessica froze in place, and he pinned her against the kitchen counter. Blake’s kiss was anything but gentle. His cool, thin lips pressed harshly to Jessica’s mouth, crushing her lips against her teeth. Jessica actually tasted blood from the assault on her mouth. She attempted to struggle, but Blake’s superior strength held her in place, and she couldn’t move. She knew from the pain in her arms that his violent grip there was causing bruises.
Jessica resisted Blake’s attempt to thrust his tongue into her mouth, and frantically tried to think about how she could extract herself from this situation with her dignity and self-respect intact, when she saw Michael appear at the kitchen door. Thank God! Michael, please help me! Then, to Jessica’s shock, Michael’s expression changed from surprise, to hurt, to anger in quick succession, then he spun around and left the room. Jessica’s heart sank. No! He thinks I’ve betrayed him just like Emma. Her heart sank, and she must have let some of the tension leave her body, because Blake let go of his grip of her arms, and started moving his hands over her body.
Blake had started to pull Jessica’s T-shirt up so he could have easier access to her breasts, and she knew she needed to act quickly or lose control completely. She fought her instinct to panic and in her now adrenaline-fueled sense of awareness realized that Blake’s legs were straddling her own leaving her legs relatively free and his most vulnerable spot unguarded. She quickly judged her ability to use her knee to catch Blake in the groin, and launched her defense.
Her knee caught Blake exactly where it needed to and he immediately collapsed, howling in pain, and cursing her as loudly as he could, considering his throat was constricted in pain. Jessica took advantage of his collapse to run from the kitchen, her thoughts entirely on finding Michael. Unfortunately, Blake recovered more quickly than she anticipated, and, with a furious growl, lunged at Jessica. She narrowly escaped his outstretched hands, and realized that if she truly wanted to be safe from Blake, she would have to go back to her bedroom and lock the door.
Jessica hurried back to her room and quickly locked the door. Not long after that, she heard Blake’s footsteps prowling the hallway. He stopped outside her door, and tested the knob. When he realized the door was locked, she heard him curse under his breath. Jessica waited, knowing that if he really wanted to, Blake could break through the flimsy lock on Jessica’s bedroom door, but Blake, likely knowing any further efforts on his part to get to Jessica would wake the others, stepped away from the door.
Jessica knew this would be her best chance to let Blake know exactly how she felt, just in case her response to him in the kitchen wasn’t clear enough. She walked closer to the door to ensure that he heard her loud and clear without alerting the entire house of what had happened. “Mr. McMillan, I hope it’s clear to you by now that I have no interest in a relationship with you beyond your sponsorship of me as a dressage rider. If you agree to abide by my rules, I won’t report your behavior to the authorities or the USDF and we can continue as sponsor and beneficiary. If you can’t, then we must end this relationship here and now.”
Blake growled his response. “After what just transpired, Miss Warren, I want nothing further to do with you. Clearly you have no interest in associating with me other than to take my money. Under those circumstances, I choose to spend my money elsewhere. After tonight, you will never see me again. I trust that my actions will convince you not to involve the authorities in this matter. What happened between us was simply a misunderstanding. Nothing more. Good night, and good luck.”
Blake continued down the hallway to his room. She heard his door close, and no further sounds came from that direction. She sighed in relief and took a quick inventory of her physical condition. Other than bruised and cracked lips, and bruises circling her upper arms where Blake had gripped her, she was unharmed. She walked to her bed, and sat on the edge, collecting her thoughts. Where had Michael gone after walking away, and what was he thinking? It was clear that he believed she and Blake were locked in a passionate embrace, and that she had betrayed him. Would he believe her when she told him the truth?
More importantly, could she forgive him for thinking the worst of her and leaving her to fight Blake off on her own? She thought about trying to find Michael and talking to him right away, but decided against it. In the state he was in, there was little likelihood he would listen to her explanation. It would have to wait until morning. With a heavy sigh, Jessica laid back on top of the coverlet and stared at the ceiling knowing she wouldn’t be getting any sleep tonight.
Hailey closed the door to her bedroom and reflected over what she had just heard. She had gotten up and was maneuvering her wheelchair toward the bathroom, when she heard voices at the top of the stairs and stopped. From what she had heard, she surmised that Blake had tried to sexually assault Jess, and that Jess had rebuffed him enough to make him extremely angry. She grinned to herself. Good for you, Jess. Unfortunately, it also sounded as though Jess no longer had a sponsor. Although she knew Jess would be devastated if she couldn’t win Tempest, she also knew that Jessica would never allow herself to be some man’s plaything in exchange for an expensive horse. Jessica did the only thing she could have done and stayed true to herself, but there would be consequences. There would certainly be a lot to talk about tomorrow. She quietly resumed her trip to the bathroom, returned to her room, and went back to sleep.
Michael stalked out of the house, his fists clenched, his jaw locked. He had the urge to hit something, hard. How dare she? How dare Jessica string him along and lead him to believe she cared for him when all along she was waiting for her rich, powerful lover to arrive and sweep her off her feet? What I fool I was, falling for her sweet, innocent, wholesome facade. She looked anything but sweet and innocent in Blake McMillan’s arms.
Earlier that night, he had been in his bed missing not only her soft, warm, pliant body in his arms, but also the playful banter they usually shared and quiet acceptance he felt when with her when he heard her leave her room to go down to what he suspected was the kitchen for a late-night snack. He was smug in the realization that she couldn’t sleep either, most likely missing him as much as he missed her. He had expected to find her alone and share at the very least a midnight snack, and possibly more, when he approached the kitchen and found Jessica passionately embracing Blake McMillan. In that instant, shock led to hurt, which led quickly to anger. I’m such a fool.
He marched angrily out to the stable, hoping to find some solace in the company of the slumbering horses, but even there, his memories of their nights making love in the loft came back to him, angering him even further. Tempest was awake in his stall, and nickered to Michael as he walked down the aisle. Michael knew he couldn’t approach the stallion in his present state, or Tempest would sense the tension and respond accordingly. He took some deep, cleansing breaths, forced himself to relax, and felt the tension in his body ebb. Once he felt calm, he walked over and rubbed the stallion’s neck absently.
“How could I have been so wrong about her, old man?” he asked the stallion. “She seemed so honest and uncomplicated.” Tempest nudged Michael then rested his head against Michael’s chest as if offering him comfort. Michael scratched his forehead. “Thanks, boy. I appreciate the sympathy. I’ll need more of that in the coming weeks.” He left the barn and walked around the property seeking some relief from the tremendous hurt he was feeling as a result of Jessica’s betrayal. Unfortunately, everywhere he walked on the property triggered a memory of time spent with Jessica. Eventually, he made his way back to the house, half expecting to find Jessica still in Blake’s arms, but to his su
rprise, the kitchen was deserted. Apparently, the pair had decided to take their reunion to a more private location, either her room or his most likely. He noticed that the teakettle was still heating on the stove and turned the heat off. Surely, neither would be returning tonight. As he went back up to his bedroom to attempt to sleep, Michael resolved that Jessica would feel his displeasure at her betrayal tomorrow.
Jessica awoke the next morning after a fitful night dreading meeting both Blake and Michael, but resolved to straighten things out with both of them. She dragged herself out of bed, and opened her bedroom door as silently as possible, then scanned the hallway to see if anyone else was up. Thankfully, the first person she saw was Liz, who was up and had already showered, anticipating watching a training session with Michael coaching Jessica on Tempest later that morning. Jessica rushed to take a shower herself, then made her way to breakfast. She was feeling a bit sore from her altercation with Blake last night, but she covered the bruises on her arms with a long-sleeved t-shirt and her bruised lips didn’t appear too swollen after she applied cold water to them after her shower.
“Good morning,” Liz greeted warmly. “Are you ready for our training session today? I’ve been very impressed with the progress you and Michael have made together, and I really want to see you work Tempest in person.”
“Sure,” Jessica replied. “As soon as I finish my scone and have some coffee, we can go out.”
“Have you seen Michael?” Liz asked. “I thought he’d be coaching you while I watch you this morning.”
“I haven’t seen him since last night,” Jessica replied. “Have you seen Blake?”
“He left a note saying that he was going to London for a few days, and didn’t know when he would be back.” Liz said. “Business apparently.”
Dressage Dreaming (Horses Heal Hearts Book 1) Page 17
