by Chloe Walsh
I bucked beneath him spreading my legs, rocking my pelvis against the erotic friction of his grinding. My fingernails dug into the tight skin of his hips, the light dusting of hair on his lower stomach brushed against my smooth skin. His large, skillful hands roamed over every inch of my skin possessively, commanding my body to submit to each searing touch.
“So beautiful,” he said in gruff tone as he placed sweet kisses on my stomach. “I can’t wait to put another baby of mine in there.”
I didn’t correct him.
I didn’t care.
In that moment, I would have given him whatever he wanted or died trying . . .
“Kyle,” I hissed, when his fingers brushed against my slit, spreading me open before his mouth descended and his tongue found my clit. “God . . .” My back arched as he slid two fingers inside me, his lips never leaving my clit, suckling, nibbling, and sending sparks of red-hot desire through every nerve in my body until I was a quivering mess beneath him, shuddering and jerking from the intensity of my sudden orgasm.
“Don’t even think about going to sleep,” Kyle chuckled and I opened my eyes and grinned sheepishly up at him. Hovering above me, he rested his weight on his elbows on either side of my face before lowering his mouth, capturing my lips with his.
“You touch my skin and I feel like I’m about to explode,” I moaned, my voice thick with desire, as I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.
“I’m that good, huh?” he purred, his erection sliding into me, filling to the point of pain.
I gasped in pleasure and threw my head back, writhing underneath his hard, hot body. “You’re that dangerous.”
“Well, get used to it,” he hissed, his jaw straining from the force of his desire. “Because I’m gonna be this fucking dangerous for you for the rest of our lives.”
“I can’t wait . . .” I breathed, closing my eyes, giving myself up to the beautiful man who was dominating my body and possessing my soul . . .
My chest ached as I dusted the photo frames on our mantelpiece in the lounge. Hope played happily with her toys on the soft, woolen blanket I had splayed out over the wooden floor to protect the soft skin of her knees.
I debated turning the frame face down—the sadness too much to bear—before catching myself on those thoughts.
Cam didn’t deserve to be hidden.
She deserved to be center stage.
Wiping a silent tear from my eye, I rubbed my thumb over the glass that covered her smiling face. Some days were harder than others, today was one of the hardest.
It was the day.
And I couldn’t go. I couldn’t face her again.
Kyle was there, right at this moment, and so was Derek. Like two wounded, kindred spirits they had driven to the court house looking for something I knew none of us would ever find. Retribution. We would never have retribution because we could never have her back. She’d been taken from us, too young, too unfairly.
Derek and Kyle had gone to court in search of justice for Camryn Frey, but to me that was a pointless trip. They would never find what they sought. Maybe I should have gone as a tribute to Cam’s memory, or maybe I was doing the right thing by staying away. I wasn’t sure.
All I knew was I had looked into that woman’s merciless eyes as she’d aimed a gun at my chest. I’d seen the lack of remorse, the absence of humanity inside of her. I never wanted to be looked at by those green, calculating eyes again.
Sentencing her to any period of time in prison was fruitless. The therapists and psychiatrists that had hovered over her as she appealed to the courts on the diminished capacity had wasted their time. She’d given herself up and not once had she apologized for Cam’s death. Not one single time. In my opinion the woman was irredeemable because she felt no remorse.
But at least she was going down for her crimes and I was letting go.
I took comfort in the fact that I would sleep a little better at night. Kyle’s arms around my body eased the tremors, but they never truly went away.
I was taking my life back, starting today.
My eyes locked on the silver frame, focusing on the two smiling girls in the photograph it encased. It was a photograph that had been taken of us as children. I remembered the day, the weather, the smell of the freshly cut grass in the air, and the comfort of my best friend’s arm around my shoulder.
That was the summer Cam had started to shoot up. I, on the other hand, didn’t seem much taller now than I did when I was nine. I would never feel that comfort again.
“Momma,” Hope cooed and my heart constricted inside of my chest.
I turned around and gazed lovingly at the child who had imbedded the deepest seed of love and adoration inside of me. Her bulging blue eyes–identical to her father’s–danced with mischief as she clapped her hands together.
“Momma, Momma,” she repeated, crawling towards me on chubby hands and knees. The legs of her pink tracksuit pants had rolled up, exposed her plump little legs, and her brown curls were wild and disarrayed.
She was perfect.
“Hello, sweetie,” I crooned as I bent down to sweep her into my arms. Hope curled around me like ivy, her little fingers locked in my hair as she nuzzled her face into my neck. It was one of the most comforting feelings in the world. Unconditional love.
The sunlight poured through the paneled windows on either side of the room, reflecting on the one piece of jewelry I wore on my body. A gold band I wore on my left hand.
The sound of the front door slamming made my heart beat wildly for the briefest of moments, before I shook off the fear. Our home had more security than fort knocks.
There was nobody getting in here uninvited, which meant . . .
“Princess?” Kyle’s husky voice boomed through the house, breaking the silence, followed by a ‘fuck yeah’ from Derek.
My legs felt like noodles as I rushed through the house with Hope in my arms. My heart was beating at a frightening pace, only to stop completely when I reached the kitchen and met their triumphant smiles.
“Well,” I whispered, forcing the words out. My mouth felt like saw dust my throat was so dry.
This was it. This was it. Oh my god please let this be it . . .
I clutched Hope so tightly I feared I would break her.
Kyle strode towards me, his eyes alight with relief, his smile a telltale sign of good news.
I needed the words.
I needed the confirmation.
Prying Hope out of my arms, he pressed his lips to her head before setting her down on the floor. I watched him like a hawk, my body frozen, coiled like a tight rope. Standing slowly, he stepped towards me and grabbed my shoulders. “Life.”
Life . . .
I never knew how life altering one word could be until I heard it come from Kyle’s mouth.
My hand flew to my mouth as a noise I could only describe as an agonized wail tore from my throat. I squeezed my eyes shut, allowing every emotion and feeling in my body to rip through me, piercing me, cleansing me.
“It’s over,” Kyle murmured. “Shh, it’s all over. You’re safe. You’re safe, baby.” Kyle’s hands were shaking violently, but it wasn’t until I opened my eyes that I realized it was me. I was shaking.
My whole body caved as I sagged into his embrace. His kisses on my hair, my forehead, and my cheeks were welcoming.
I needed his touch.
“You’re free, Lee,” I heard Derek say. “We’re all free.”
“Derek,” I gasped, pulling back from Kyle. “Derek,” I repeated, smiling through my tears as I knotted my fingers in the front of his shirt and dragged him towards us.
The three of us stood in the middle of our kitchen, with our arms wrapped around one another, each of us silently acknowledging the girl who, in her own way, had changed each of our lives.
For Derek, Cam had been his focal point for most of his adult life. His love. Lost as it had become, C
am had loved Derek, and he in turn had spent two and half years of his life savoring that love.
For Kyle, Cam had been a loyal ally. His sister, unrelated by blood, but by sheer indestructible friendship.
For me, she had been my savoir. My living and breathing angel, who had stepped into my life when I needed a friend most, and stepped out in the most selfless act a human being is capable of.
Camryn Frey had offered me a friendship before I was old enough to talk, and after nineteen years of sisterhood, she had sacrificed her life to save mine.
Sitting around our coffee table, eating bowls of mac and cheese with Lee, Kyle and Hope, considering what had happened this morning, felt surprisingly normal. I wasn’t sure if the Carter’s were feeling the absent of Cam’s presence, but I most certainly was.
Life . . .
Rachel had paid. Life in prison. I didn’t know what to feel. Happy? Empty? I didn’t know . . . But this was it, the start of our lives. We’d done it. We’d fucking nailed her ass to the cross and we could finally move forward.
There was some tension in the room, but mostly we were just enjoying one another’s company. It had been a long time since any of us had done something normal.
“Let’s go out,” Kyle suggested as he stretched his legs out in front of himself and yawned. “I feel ancient and I’m too damn pretty to waste my youth lounging around eating comfort food.” Shrugging he turned to Lee and said, “We’ve been married a month, princess. It’s about time we did something fun.”
“I don’t know, Kyle,” Lee said with a sigh. “I think I’ll just stay here with Hope. You guys go.”
“No,” I moaned. “You have to come. This is a big day for us. We need to celebrate . . .” Shrugging my shoulders, I looked at Kyle. “What’s the plan, dude?”
“We’re going swimming,” Kyle announced with a smirk.
“I don’t have a bathing suit,” Lee muttered.
Kyle’s grinned. “We’re definitely going swimming.”
“Don’t take her too far.” Lee worried her lip with her teeth as she waded deeper into the hotel swimming pool. Her eyes were wild with maternal protectiveness. “I mean it, Kyle. I don’t want her in the deep end.”
“Hope, look at mommy, she’s turning into a lion.” I splashed Lee and moved deeper into the water. “Roar, baby, you know how I like it.”
“You’re a jerk,” she growled as she slowed and then waded in deeper. “I mean it, Kyle,” she spluttered as water lapped against her face. “Bring her back.”
“Come and get us,” I teased, thoroughly amused with Lee’s protectiveness.
This was the first time we’d taken Hope to the swimming pool and I couldn’t think of a better day to start new things. Bitch troll got life and we were starting our new lives. Nothing would ever compare to the swell of satisfaction that had flooded me the moment I’d heard that word. Derek had cried. I’d just sat there, soaking in the word, digesting what it meant for us. We were free. Finally, after two fucking years of torture and agony, we were free to live our lives again without worry. It seemed too good to be true, but I wasn’t going to knock it. I’d waited a very long time for peace. Now that I had it, I had no intentions of letting it go . . .
Peace . . .
“Don’t be a dick, Kyle,” Derek growled, stirring me from my reverie, as he swam over to me and took Hope out of my arms. “It’s obvious she can’t swim,” he hissed. “Look how frightened she is.”
My head snapped in the direction of Lee and my heart fucking sank. Shit, her face bobbed in and out of the water.
Jesus . . . I dove into the water and swam as fast as I could with my heart in my mouth.
“Shh, baby. I got you,” I whispered when I reached her, hoisting her out of the water and into my arms. Her arms locked around my neck as she scrambled to wrap her legs around my waist. “I’m so fucking sorry.”
“D-don’t you ev-ever do that to m-me again,” she spluttered, coughing up water. The redness of her eyes almost stopped my heart from beating.
“You can’t swim,” I said quietly. “Why can’t you swim, baby?”
“How could I?” she cried, bursting into tears, and I knew that the only reason she wasn’t walking away from me right now was her fear of the water.
“You know my life,” she hissed. “You know what it was like for me before we met. I didn’t have an education, or a driving license. I never celebrated Christmas or went trick or treating.” She exhaled a ragged breath. “How could you possibly think I could swim? I have none of the skills everyone else take for granted, Kyle. Life was hard for me . . .” Lee’s voice cracked and she buried her face in the curve of my neck.
“I won’t ever do it again,” I promised, kissing her head, forcing the lump in my throat back down. “I won’t. Jesus, I am so sorry.”
I waded slowly back to the shallow end and carried her up the steps. No fucking way was I letting her out of my arms. I was lucky as hell that she was still in them.
“Hope,” she sobbed.
“Shh, she’s fine,” I crooned. “Derek has her. She’s safe with him.” Because Derek’s not a fucking asshole like me . . .
I would never look a pool again without the image of Lee’s terrified eyes as her face slipped under the water burning in my brain.
My fault.
All my fucking fault.
Turning on my heel, I strode off in the direction of the dressing rooms, with Lee curled around my waist. “I can walk now,” she whispered. “I’m not angry with you. I was just really scared.”
“Not letting you go,” I managed to say. I could barely form a sentence. Lee mightn’t be angry, but I was furious with myself enough for the both of us.
When we reached the dressing room, I sank onto the wooden bench and locked my arms around her. “I could have drowned you,” I confessed disgusted with my fucking stupidity. “I could have killed you.”
“It’s okay,” she whispered and suddenly she was the one comforting me.
“Kyle, I’m fine. I’m alright, see?” I pulled on his chin, forcing him to look at me. “Not a scratch.”
“You’re not fine,” he growled, clutching me tighter. “I almost drowned you. You should be furious with me.”
I had to admit that I expected myself to be furious with Kyle. I certainly had been in the pool when he had taken my baby daughter deeper into that death trap. But now that I was safely back on solid ground and feeling incredibly stupid for going in so deep, I wasn’t thinking clearly.
“You can’t swim,” he muttered. “You can’t fucking swim and I should have known that. You’re my wife, I should know this stuff.”
“Don’t Kyle,” I chuckled, clasping his face with my hands. “Don’t make a bigger deal out of this then there needs to be.” Pressing a kiss to his lips, I pulled back and smiled. “This is our fresh start. Let’s not go down the blame route again.”
“You’re okay though?” he asked, his tone laced with concern. “You’re not hurt?”
“I’m better than I’ve been in years,” I told him honestly as I readjusted the strap of my bathing suit. I knew I probably looked ridiculous wearing shorts over my swimsuit, but I wasn’t ready to show the whole world my scars.
“You’re just so fragile,” he said, his tone gruff. “I don’t want anything more happening to you. You’re getting better. You don’t need my stupid ass nearly drowning you and setting you back.” He squeezed me tightly. “I’ve got plans for us. Plans that don’t involve you drowning in my swimming pool,” he added with a small chuckle.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, feeling terribly guilty all of a sudden.
Kyle shook his head in surprise—or confusion, I couldn’t be sure which, but I guessed both. “For what?” he asked.
I sighed wearily. “I know you’ve been hoping that I’ll get pregnant.” Shaking my head, I smiled down at him. “Drowning me won’t break what’s already broken in me, Kyle.”
Climbing to his feet, he lifted me into his arms and I wrapped my legs around his waist instinctively. “It doesn’t matter, Lee,” he ground out through clenched teeth “I just want you. I’ve only ever just wanted you.”
I gaped at him. “But you said . . .”
“Forget what I said,” he interrupted. Kissing my lips, he fisted my curls and pushed them behind my shoulders.
His lips touched my neck, sliding up towards my ear. “I love you,” he whispered. “You’ve always been more than enough.”
“We’re free, Kyle,” I whispered. “She’s really gone—daddy, too. We’re finally safe.”
“I know,” he chuckled. “It’s over, princess.”
“I’m not their favorite person, princess,” I muttered as I buckled my belt. “I’ll let you decide if you want to invite them. Whatever you want is fine by me.”
“Oh, okay,” Lee said quietly. “Well, I kind of feel I should. They were so good to me when I was small—and they’re probably feeling lonely with Cam’s anniversary coming up.”
I glanced down at Lee curled up in our bed, with a white sheet wrapped around her, and shivered. Every time that I saw her . . . Jesus, there were no words to describe the way she fucked with my internal system. She was the one. She is the one . . .
Since Rachel’s sentencing last month, Lee had been talking about inviting Cam’s parents to Hope’s birthday next week. I had no idea why she wanted to do this all of a sudden, but I was up for pretty much anything these days. Anything that would keep her smiling and our good luck rolling in . . .
“Can we talk about this when I get home? I need to stop by the hotel.” I walked over to where she was hovering and kissed the top of her head. The smell of strawberry shampoo flowed through my senses. My cock twitched. Fuck, I was going to have to work on that. It was pretty pathetic that I couldn’t kiss my girl’s head with getting hard. “I really need to go, baby.”
