by Katie Dowe
She took her time before answering him. She had been about to blast him for his comments, but he was right. She had been silent for several months and now without saying anything had come back to take up the reins.
“I am back for good, so I suppose that means that I am going to have to call a meeting to let the rest of the staff know the position.”
“And give Eve a call, she has been concerned.”
*****
She had not heard from Matthias and had been so busy at work assessing some of the manuscripts that came in and meeting with the different departments that she had not thought about him until she had taken the time to eat something and called home to check on the children. She had gotten back into the thick of things immediately and realized how much she had missed everything to do with the publishing house. She left at four because she had called her dad and let him know she would be coming over and he was preparing dinner.
He was outside in front of the grill when she got there. “Isn’t it a bit too cold to be doing outside cooking?” she asked as she went to join him, smiling at the apron he was wearing. It had belonged to her mother and looked slightly ridiculous on his tall angular frame. She sniffed the air, her mouth watering at the scent of the steak he had on the grill. There was also corn on the cob. A pitcher of lemonade was on the table along with a bowl of salad.
“I am taking advantage of the last few days of the nice weather before we go into fall.” He leaned forward to kiss her, his dark brown eyes assessing her. “How are my grandkids?”
“Growing in leaps and bounds. What can I help you with?”
“Everything is finished. You may pour the juice and get the plates ready for the steak.”
She did as he asked and brought the plates over for him to put the steaks on before going over to the table. He handed her the salad bowl and said grace before they started eating. “I ate a sandwich for lunch and Steve had to remind me that I had not eaten.”
“How was your first day back?” Calvin asked, cutting into his meat.
“Strange,” Caitlin said musingly.
“I thought for a moment that you had decided to be a stay-at-home mom,” he murmured as he looked at her thoughtfully.
“You mean like Mom?”
He nodded. “You are not like your mother, honey. So that was what had me concerned.”
“You mean I am not the type to stay home with my children?” She dug the fork into the tender meat and examined it for a moment. “I have four children, Dad, and I should certainly feel the need to stay home to take care of them. A career should be the last thing on my mind right now.”
“Do you feel guilty about leaving them?”
“I should,” she said with a shrug. “We certainly do not need the money and Matthias has started traveling again.”
“Do you resent him for that?”
“Dad, I love you very much, but I do not need you psychoanalyzing me right now,” she said dryly.
“We are just talking, honey.” He picked up his glass, his eyes holding hers. “A lot of women go through postpartum depression and you are no different. In fact, you are more than a candidate for it, having had four children at the same time. It can be overwhelming, and you should not be ashamed to admit that you are. Your mother went through it for months.”
She looked at him in surprise. “I did not know.”
“You were a baby when it happened, and it was not dinner conversation,” he joked.
“I thought she wanted to stay home.”
“She did, but she also loved her work too and was torn. I advised her to go back to work and let us get a sitter.”
“Did she?”
“She did for a while and then she decided that she wanted to stay home with you. She said she wanted to be there when I came home in the evenings even though she was home before me. She was always saying that time was too short, and she wanted to spend as much time as possible with you.”
Caitlin dug into her salad. “I used to ask her why she stayed home, and she would smile and tell me that she enjoyed watching me grow so much that she did not want to miss one day of it.”
“What do you want to do?” her father asked her.
“I love what I do.” Caitlin speared off a piece more of the steak. “I have always loved publishing, you know that, Dad, but ever since I was pregnant with the children, something changed.” She looked at him. “My marriage is in trouble, Dad.”
“What do you I intend to do about it?” he asked her, not in the least bit surprised.
“I tried to fix it.” She told him of her surprise trip to New York and the result.
“It will not be a quick fix, honey. It is going to take time. Having children changes everything and you are going to have to take that into consideration,” he told her solemnly. He had seen the unhappy look on her beautiful face and figured that something was not right.
“I had every intention of giving up,” she told him wryly.
“And that would be a mistake. Have you called him?”
“He has not called me.”
“Honey, I am disappointed in you,” he rebuked her. “You are never one to give up and this is your marriage we are talking about.”
“I don’t know what else to do, Dad.”
“It will come to you.”
*****
She went home and spent time with the boys first before going into her daughter’s room. “Hey, sweetie! You are awake!” She said hi to Nurse Jacobs and went to get her daughter from her cot, nuzzling her neck and inhaling the scent of powder and the liquid used to bathe her. “She looks so alert,” Caitlin added as she stared down at the little girl.
“And gained three pounds just this week,” Nurse Jacobs told her with a pleased smile.
Caitlin looked over at the woman. “I really appreciate how much you have taken care of her.”
“It is my pleasure, dear.”
Chapter 16
He came home Friday night. She was in the boys’ nursery when he came in and saw her sitting on a throw blanket with the three babies in front of her. It was already nine P.M. and they had just taken their baths and had been fed. She had told the nannies that she needed a little time with them before they were put down for the night. Catherine was already asleep.
Matthias stood just inside the doorway and watched as she interacted with the three boys, explaining to them what she had done at the publishing house earlier that day. He smiled as he saw their intense dark eyes trained on her face as if they knew exactly what she was saying. He had not called her even though he had wanted to and had been told by Steve that she had come back to work when he had called to check up on things. She had not said anything to him about going back, but he hoped that it would make things better for her. He had decided to come home a couple days earlier because he wanted to be with his family.
“I doubt that they understand you trying to explain a bestsellers’ list,” he said softly and saw when she stiffened.
“It is not too early to teach them something like that as I have no doubt that they will either be an artist or a writer,” she said, forcing herself to be calm even though her heart was racing a mile a minute! He was home! She distracted herself by bending to kiss her sons’ cheeks and forced herself not to react when he came over and took his place next to her, touching their soft cheeks. His familiar expensive scent was almost her undoing and she almost reached for him to pull him down on top of her.
“I quite agree with you.” He did not look at her, even though he was potently aware of her, so much so that his body was tightening with need. “How was work?”
“Very good. I am almost back to normal.” She looked up as the nannies came back into the room. “It’s their bedtime, but if you want to spend a little more time with them-”
“It’s fine. I will see them in the morning.” He bent his dark head to kiss them before getting to his feet and reaching out a hand to help her up. He kept her hand in his as he greeted the nannies and
led them from the room, towards their suite. Caitlin saw his bag at the foot of the bed and realized that he had already been inside the room. She had bought him a gift even though he had told her he would not be coming back until Sunday and had put it inside the drawer by the bed.
“I did not expect you until Sunday,” she murmured as she pulled her hand from his and went to sit on the sofa. She had already showered and was wearing a dark blue silk nightgown.
“I decided to come back.” He walked over to the sofa and sat next to her. “How are you?”
“I am okay.” Her eyes wandered over his handsome face and she felt the hunger stirring inside her body. At work, she had managed to keep busy and not think of him, but when she was home and after she had kissed her children for the night and tucked them in, she longed to feel his arms around her. “Happy birthday.”
“Thank you. I was wrong to tell you that I did not want to celebrate my birthday, wrong to send you away.”
“You were,” she agreed.
“I have a hard time saying the words, Caitlin.”
“And what words might that be?” she asked him, her heart hammering.
“I love you,” he said softly, one hand reaching out to cup her cheek, his thumb wandering over her face. “I have spent the last couple of days beating myself up for saying the things I said to you and aching for you. No matter what, I am here for you and our children and I always will be. I am prepared to wait until you are ready-”
“You did not get that I was ready that time when I came to you?” she asked him shakily, her dark brown eyes bright with unshed tears. “I fell in love with you the very first time I saw you, Matthias, and it only got stronger over time. I know I changed somewhat when I got pregnant and I was obsessed with our daughter getting better, but I should have spoken to you about it. That is on me and I swear that it will never happen again.” She took a deep breath. “I missed you so much-” Her voice broke and the tears she had been holding back came trickling down her cheeks.
He swore beneath his breath and pulled her into his arms, cradling her there, his fingers rubbing her back soothingly, his expression grim as he listened to her cry. It had never been his intention to hurt her so much, but he had done that, and he had a lot of making up to do.
“I am so glad you are home,” she whispered.
“There is no place else I would rather be.” He put her away from him but only so that he could lift her into his arms and carry her to the bed, placing her gently onto it before stepping back to get rid of his clothes. Caitlin shivered as she stared at the familiar magnificent body, rippling with the corded muscles. He joined her and slowly took off the nightgown she had on as well as her panties. “Nothing will ever come between us again,” he told her huskily as he ran his hands over her body lovingly, enjoying the familiar feel of her skin and lingering on her full breasts. She had stopped breastfeeding, but her breasts were still somewhat generous, and he loved that they filled his palms. His thumbs feathered over the pebble-like nipples and he watched as she arched her body in response to his touch. “So beautiful,” he added thickly, eyes mesmerized as the nipples hardened even more. “I have missed you so much. I could not sleep from thinking about you, how you felt beneath me and how much I wanted to bury myself inside you-” He broke off as he bent his dark head and pulled a nipple inside his mouth hungrily, sucking on it hard and causing the shock of his mouth on her to send electric shards of feelings straight through her!
“Matthias,” she moaned, her fingers reaching up to grip his thick dark hair. His tongue swirled around the tight bud, his teeth grazing the sensitive flesh. By the time he transferred to the other nipple, she was writing beneath his touch! “Please!’ she gasped.
He lifted his head, his face dark with passion as he stared at her. “Not yet,” he told her hoarsely. “I want to spend the night loving you and making up for the time we lost.” He used a finger to trail down her cheek and onto her neck, stopping at the hollow of her throat. He was hard, achingly so, but he wanted to prolong the foreplay, wanted to stretch it out until they were so aroused, they would not be able to stand it! He bent his head and brushed his lips over hers lightly, moving back and forth with just enough pressure to keep her wanting more! Caitlin opened her mouth and used her the tip of her tongue to touch his lips. Matthias felt the longing for her driving deep inside him and he had to stifle the helpless groan. She could do that to him with just a touch! He opened his mouth over hers, his tongue plunging into her mouth with the hunger that had been his constant companion over the past few months. Her arms came up and wrapped themselves around his neck, pulling him to her, as he deepened the kiss. Feelings exploded inside her as his mouth moved over hers, feelings that had been buried beneath the anxiety and fear for her four children. Feelings that she had wanted to come back, to be between them. Her fingers dug into the bunched muscles of his shoulders, the short nails grabbing for leverage as her body heaved towards his. He broke the kiss and his lips raced along her face and down to her body, passing lightly over her hard, wet nipples and going down to her not quite flat stomach. He lingered there, humbled by what she had gone through to carry his children into the world. Happy that it had been her and not someone else!
Her body arched in anticipation as his mouth drifted down to her pubic area. He planted little kisses on her sex before touching the mound of flesh there, his tongue tasting her before he pulled the flesh inside his mouth, pulling it in until she was almost insane with passion and desire! “God!” she cried out, her fingers curled into the sheets, her body trembling violently. As soon as his tongue dipped inside her, the orgasm ripped through her body with a force that lifted her off the bed and a scream hurtling from her throat! How could she have denied him, denied them for so long! She thought as orgasm trembled through her body and continued to do so as he plunged inside her with his tongue! He lifted his head and came over her, slipping inside her as he realized that he could no longer prolong the foreplay. He gritted his teeth as he went in deep, his body rigid as she wrapped around him tightly, pulling him in. Caitlin wrapped her legs around his trim waist. He combed his fingers through her hair as he stared down at her, not moving for a moment, his eyes intense, his face harsh with passion.
“I love you,” he told her thickly, his hands trembling slightly as he cupped her face. “You complete me.” His broke for a moment and he bent his head to hers and breathed in deeply. “I could not say the words before but never doubt that I loved you even when I could not say them.”
Caitlin wrapped her hands around his neck and combed her fingers through his hair. His beard was scratchy against her skin, but she did not care! “I love you and I am so sorry I allowed our separation to go on for so long-”
“Shh.” He kissed her lips as he moved inside her, pulling a moan from her as he increased the stroke, filling her up and then some as he increased the pace. It had been so long! His dazed mind reminded him to slow down, but he could not as the control was taken away from him the minute she started to move with him. He felt the love bursting out of him as if he could not contain it and he knew that he did not want to! He switched positions suddenly until she was on top of him, his fingers guiding her lips before moving up her body to cup her breasts, his thumbs rolling the nipples and sending the frenzied desire racing throughout her body! He felt her body stiffen and urged her, “Let go.”
She curled her fingers into the dark hairs of his chest and gave into the hot molten heat as the orgasm ripped through again! She bowed her head against his, her body trembling as the waves of passion crashed through her. He waited her out before he moved into her. He would not be able to last much longer! He twisted his body so that she was lying beneath her and took her lips in a rough kiss as he drove into her, with deep long strides that had her digging her fingers into his muscled back. He went rigid, his heart thundering inside his chest as he spilled himself inside her, releasing every anxiety, resentment, and inability to express what he was feeling for her! She sw
allowed his deepthroated groan inside her mouth as she welcomed his seed inside her!
He rolled off her and pulled her into the circle of his arms, his face buried in her thick hair, his eyes closed as he savored the feel of her inside his arms. He intended to have her again soon, but he was giving them both time to recover before he did and give them a chance to talk. There had to be openness and honesty between them from now and he was going to insist on it. She trailed a finger through the whirls of hair on his muscled chest for a moment before she said anything. “I bought you a gift,” she murmured.
“You did?” He shifted so that he could look at her. “Even after what I said?”
She nodded. “Reach into the drawer next to you.”
He did so and pulled out a square package. She moved out of his arms so that he could unwrap the package and watched as the painting was revealed. He stared at it for a long time before looking at her. “When?” he asked her huskily.
She understood what he was asking and responded. “A week ago. I had Lucy at the publishing house do it by sending her a photo of the children.”
“She has captured them quite well.” His throat worked as he tried to get past the lump there. Lucy had painted the three boys with their dark eyes gazing at something in the distance and Catherine wearing a pink frilly dress, her dark curls with a pink ribbon pinned to the side between them. The background depicted a garden exploding with colors and a perfect backdrop for them! “Thank you,” he whispered as he lifted his head to look at her. “I love you, darling, my wife, and my heartbeat,” he said thickly as he put the painting away and reached for her. “Thank you for my life.”
“You are welcome,” she whispered as she wrapped her hands around his waist.
A few minutes later when he made love to her, it was so achingly poignant that she could not stop the tears from falling down her cheeks. He kissed her cheeks dry as he brought her up and over, spilling his seed inside her and sealing the love they had discovered in each other!
*****
