by Unknown
“He didn't stand a chance at succeeding,” I reassured him. “You can't kill a god in their sleep but I think he hunts regular people in the same manner. I think this is how he sustains himself and I think he believes this is the only option available to him.”
“So we may be dealing with a god who's killing humans not because he has some twisted belief about humans being subservient but because he's desperate to live?”
“Yes,” I whispered. “If that's the case, I need to try and reason with him, maybe provide him with an apple of immortality or something. I have to stop it. If that's even what's really going on. So far, all I have to go on are my dreams.”
“Alright, I'll go take a look,” he put his book down and I glanced at it.
“Wuthering Heights?” I lifted a brow at him.
“Yes, everything I've read about it has said that it's a romantic story but I have to say, V, if that's romance, I want no part of it. What they do to that guy is messed up.”
“I've never liked that story, though I know a lot of people who do,” I patted his shoulder. “And I agree with you, I don't think it's romantic at all. Just try and listen to yourself, Torr. If you meet someone you like, just be honest with her and follow your instincts. That way, if she does fall in love with you, it will be the real you, not someone you were trying to imitate.”
“But I'm not sure who I am yet,” Torrent looked a little lost.
“There seems to be a lot of that going on around here,” we both jerked around to see Griffin standing in the doorway.
His hair was freshly cut in a modern style and he was clean shaven. I barely recognized him and it sent a stab of pain through my gut but I had to admit, he looked fantastic. The lines of his face were dramatic, worthy of being painted even, but they were just a little too pretty for my taste. I liked men who had an edge to them. Beautiful but rough, a strong jaw, a broad nose, a tightness around the eyes. There needed to be something that screamed man to me or I lost interest. Griffin had taken away his edge but although he looked younger and less male to me, he also looked more vibrant and very alive. A model ready for his cover shot. Blonde hair glinted gold and peacock eyes shifted through shimmering blue, purple, and green. No matter what he did to his appearance, he still had Odin's eyes and they had the same affect as always.
“Yes, well,” I cleared my throat. “My advice would be the same for both of you. Don't get romantically involved with anyone until you do know yourself. To do otherwise would be unfair to both yourself and your prospective lover.”
“What if I never know myself?” Torrent was beginning to look frightened.
“Torr, I think you do know yourself, you just haven't accepted it.” I took his hand. “Since the day we traced out of Iktomi's web, you started to become your own man. You just need to stop worrying over whether you're behaving like Iktomi or not. Just because you have his DNA, it doesn't mean you're programmed to become like him. A human being is not a source code. You make your own choices with ease and determination, which tells me that you know your own heart and that's all knowing yourself is.”
“But what if my heart is different from yours?” His eyes were even more human now. They'd begun to change a little while back, becoming more organic and less doll-like, and now I could see a light tracery of blood vessels at the corners. I smiled into them, knowing that no matter how Torrent had started out, he was going to become exactly the man he wanted to be.
“Torrent,” I laid my hand on his chest. “Flesh or magic, it doesn't matter. Your heart beats like an Intare, I can feel it here and I can see it in your eyes. You're one of us. You've got the heart of a lion in your chest, a strong and true heart. It's that strength that saved my life and it's that truth that has made you a part of us. A heart like that is hard to find and any woman would be proud to claim it. Just be careful that she deserves it before you go giving it away.”
“I love you, V,” Torr grinned and gave me a big hug.
“I love you too,” I hugged him back.
“I'll go... ah,” Torrent awkwardly pulled away and glanced at Griffin, “do that research you needed.”
“Thanks, Torr,” I nodded and watched him fade into the Inter Realm.
“You're a good leader,” Griffin was staring at me consideringly, head lifted and jaw firm. He suddenly looked less of a teenage model and more like Odin. It was the look of a general, someone used to commanding men. He may have been complimenting me but he did so because he recognized the same strength within himself. It was more the acknowledgment of an equal. “You helped him and motivated him while still giving him the truth.”
“I try not to lie to my friends.”
“Look,” he sighed. “I came to tell you that I don't want to remember. I'm sorry but I can't be with you. I don't want to have to share a woman with three other men-”
“Four actually,” I whispered.
“What was that?”
“I'm married to a Faerie King but that's in the Faerie Realm, you'll probably never even see him.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” He gaped. “What do you have that makes all these guys stay with you? Share you? Cause no offense, you're pretty and all, but I don't get it.”
“Yeah,” I swallowed hard past the lump of hurt and embarrassment in my throat. “Most times I don't get it either. I have no idea why they love me. I guess I'm just lucky.” I shrugged and tried for a nonchalant laugh but it sounded brittle even to my ears.
“Hey, uh,” he looked away guiltily. “I didn't mean to say it like that. I'm sure you're wonderful. From what I've seen already, I can tell that you're kind and smart. You seem to have a good sense of humor too. If you didn't have all these other guys, I'd probably be interested but I'm not a man who can share. I may not know who I am but I know that. My stomach turns over at the mere thought of it.”
“You're right,” I winced a little at the stomach turning comment. “Odin wasn't into the sharing thing and honestly, neither am I. I couldn't share any of my men.”
“That's-”
“I know,” I held up a hand. “It's totally unfair but the truth is, I wouldn't have more than one man in my life if it wasn't for the lion magic. This lifestyle has been forced upon me and though I have to accept it, I can't change who I am. I believe in a relationship between two people, in monogamy and fidelity. I can't have it in the way I'd like to but I try to have as much of it as I can.”
“How do you mean?”
“I know this will sound silly to you,” I looked away from his steady gaze, needing a moment to collect myself. With Odin, this talk would have been comfortable but with Griffin, I felt awkward. “I'm faithful to them. We have an understanding, I don't take any new lovers without talking to them about it first and frankly, I don't need anymore. My lion magic seems to be happy with things as they are. So I'm faithful to them and they're faithful to me.”
“I still don't understand what would make a man want to enter a relationship with you,” he flushed a little. “I mean under these circumstances.”
“Each of them had their own reasons for accepting this,” now it was my turn to flush. “Besides love of course. I'm not going to explain each of them to you but I will tell you about Odin's reasons. He waited over five-hundred years for my return. When I was finally told of our past, I was already with Trevor and I was so happy with him. I loved Trevor, I didn't care about the past, I wasn't going to leave him for Odin, but the pull I felt towards Odin was hard to resist. When you love someone the way we'd loved each other, time ceases to matter. Everything else ceases to matter. I would have stayed with Trevor and been faithful to him but I... I think a part of me would have died for lack of Odin.”
“That's kind of horrible,” he whispered.
“It was horrible,” I clenched my teeth against the memories. “But I made my choice. I was still going to be a part of Odin's life because of our children but as far as I was concerned, we couldn't have anything more than friendship, our time had passed.”
“Then the lion magic forced your hand,” Griffin prompted.
“Yes,” I smiled grimly. “But Trevor wouldn't accept Odin.”
“What?”
“He felt threatened by my past with Odin,” I tried to defend Trevor. “He'd already had to accept the fact I was going to have multiple lovers. That's a hard pill for an alpha wolf to take, even with magic easing it down. I'd given him the right to a final say as my first lover, as a way to try and ease the sting. He used that right to say no to Odin but I couldn't stay away from him. It was tearing me apart, knowing that I could have had him if only Trevor didn't resent him so much, and Trevor finally gave in because he saw how miserable I was.”
“And Odin?” Griffin narrowed his eyes on me. “He was okay with sharing you?”
“No, of course not,” I huffed a little laugh. “He accepted it because this is the way I have to live and he wanted to be with me. He made the sacrifice. He made a lot of sacrifices actually, culminating with his death. You died for me, whether you remember it or not. If you don't want to be with me anymore, if you don't want to even remember me, please believe me when I say I understand. I understand more than anyone else. You deserve any kind of life that you want. You're welcome here for as long as you want to stay. No one will treat you badly because of your decision and there won't be any pressure from me, I promise. Live your life and I'll be happy knowing that you're alive and still a part of my life in some small way.”
“Alright, damn it,” he growled. “Maybe I can see why they love you.” He shook his head and stalked out of the room. “I still don't want any part of it.”
It was a good thing there was a couch behind me because I fell limply into it. Then I dropped my face into my hands and wept like my world was ending.
Chapter Twenty-Five
“I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream,” I sang softly as I waltzed around the nursery with Zariel in my arms. “I know you, that look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam.”
“Yes I know it's true,” Samantha joined in. “That visions are seldom all they seem. But if I know you, I know what you'll do.”
“You'll love me at once,” Fallon came into the room belting out the last lines. “The way you did once upon a dream.”
Zariel gurgled happily, waving her hands at her father. He came over and kissed her on her forehead.
“I didn't know you could sing.” I laughed and let him have Zariel. Maybe he had more in common with LL Cool J than his appearance.
“One of my many talents,” he lifted Zariel into the air above him and kissed her again and again.
“Along with modesty,” Sam rolled her eyes. “Give Zariel back to her Aunty and go take your shower. You stink.”
“Don't listen to Mommy,” he cooed up to Zariel. “She likes my stink.” He handed the baby back to me. “Be careful with my little girl, Tima.”
“Be careful with the warnings, lion,” I narrowed my eyes on him and twirled around in a circle with Zariel. She screamed in delight.
“Aw, I said be careful with her,” he whined. “She's just a baby.”
“We'll be careful with your precious daughter,” Sam smacked Fallon's ass. “Now get out of here, you moron.”
“Fine, fine,” he huffed and cast one last look at Zariel before he went into the bathroom.
“Overprotective much?” I laughed.
“He's driving me freaking crazy,” she growled. “If he could coat her in bubble-wrap, he would.”
“Oh dear,” I rubbed my nose against Zariel's. “Your Daddy's going to make your life hell.”
I buried my nose in her soft curls, sniffing deep. My lioness registered the scent on a primitive level. It said Zariel to me more than her face did. My little Intare, the first of her kind. My magic sang inside me with happiness. She was a miracle.
“She is pretty wonderful, isn't she?” Samantha looked from my face to her daughter's. “Sometimes I can't believe she's here and that I'm her mother. I'm responsible for her. I have to show her the ways to live and...”
“And you're going to have lots of help.” I nudged her with my shoulder. “Take a deep breath. You're surrounded by people who love you and your daughter.”
“Okay,” she gave a relieved laugh. “Yeah, you're right. I'm just having a little postpartum freak out.”
“We understand,” I looked down at Zariel and sure enough, she was staring at her mother serenely.
Holding her in my arms like that, I could feel the magic connecting us more keenly. It was bright between us and in the brightness, I could see her other form. Zariel turned her eyes toward me and they lightened as I watched, turning a golden yellow. Then the baby was gone and I was holding a struggling lion cub, pieces of clothing and diaper falling to the floor.
“Whoa,” I held her aloft as Samantha screamed.
“What? Where? Who do I kill?” Fallon came barreling into the room, looking toward Sam. She just pointed and gaped at me and Zariel. “What the-?”
That was when I realized Fallon was naked.
“Oh damn,” I set my gaze securely on Zariel. “Go put something on, Fallon.”
“But...” He pointed at the baby.
“She'll be fine, much better than I will be,” I rolled my eyes. “You know how long it's gonna take for me to get the image of that thing between your legs out of my head? How can you handle that?” I directed the last bit toward Samantha and she shut her mouth with an audible click, then opened it again to start laughing.
“I'll be right back,” Fallon frowned at the both of us and disappeared.
“Oh, thank goodness,” I sighed and put Zariel down. “You need to change back now, Z. Remember these things?” I waved my fingers in front of her face. “Dancing phalanges. You can have some too. Come on, dancing phalanges.”
The lion cub whined and growled, then rolled around on the carpet. On the third roll, she changed back into a human baby and just kept rolling.
“Oh, Zariel,” Samantha scooped up the naked baby. “You scared me half to death. You're too young to change. Don't do that again till... till...”
“Till you're twenty-one,” Fallon came back into the room and immediately went to look over his daughter. “I ask you to be careful with my daughter and you can't even handle that for ten minutes, Tima.”
“Hey, I didn't do this,” I waved my hand at the giggling baby. “She did that all on her own.”
“Vervain!” Torrent came rushing into the room. “Oh hey, Samantha. Hey, Fallon. Um... can I speak with you, V? It's about that research.”
“Oh. Right,” I gave Fallon and Sam a nervous grin. “I'll catch you guys later.”
I followed Torr out of the room before they could ask me any questions. When we were safely in the hall, Fallon and Sam secured away in their soundproof suite, I asked him what he discovered in the Inter Realm.
“You were right,” he confirmed my suspicions. “This god has been killing people. He does it all over the world, a person here, a person there, so there's no suspicion beyond the usual strangeness over a healthy person dying in their sleep but I found a connection.”
“What?”
“The coroners all noted that the bodies seemed to be withered,” Torr stopped walking to stare at me. “He took their energy straight from the tap, sort to speak, and it drained them down to their cells.”
“So it's different from the usual sacrifice in more ways than one,” I urged Torr along again. I didn't want to have that conversation in the halls of Pride Palace. If an Intare overheard me, it could cause a panic and panicked lions are not fun.
“Is it really considered sacrifice if you take it yourself?” Torrent mused.
“No, you're absolutely right,” I laughed morbidly at myself. “I've been in this war too long. I've been thinking it's sacrifice just because he's getting energy from this but it isn't. This is just plain murder.”
“Yeah, he's not even bothering to manipulate a human into killing for him,” Torrent nodded.
“He's taking the matter into his own hands.”
“Do you think other gods could do this?” Now I was the one stopping to stare at Torr with horror.
“I don't know,” he looked worried for a second but then brightened. “Surely if they could, they'd be doing it already.”
“Yes, right again,” I thought about it. “He said the place we go to when we dream is a different realm and that he controls that realm. Maybe this control is what allows him to take the energy of his victims.”
“Sounds plausible. Different realms have different rules,” Torr shrugged. “You seem to know an awful lot about this guy. Who is he?”
“Now that's the one thing I don't know,” I huffed. “His name.”
“That's kind of an important detail.”
“You think?”
Chapter Twenty-Six
“Do you just transmit a beacon or send out a god tweet or what?” Krystal gave me her signature look, one eyebrow up and the other down.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean how do these guys find you?” She shook her head and took a sip of her wine. “It's one thing after another with you. Now you can't even go to sleep without a god bugging you? No wonder you haven't got much painting done.”
“Ah,” I nodded sagely. “Now we've come to the main issue.”
“Vervain Alexandrite Lavine!” She gasped. “I'm horrified that you'd think I was more concerned about you painting that ocean scene for my client-my very rich client-than about you being attacked by a dream god.”
“Uh-huh,” I rolled my eyes.
“So when do you think you'll get the painting done?”
“Krystal!”
“No, you're right, I apologize,” she glanced to her right and her eyes widened appreciatively.
I followed her gaze and saw a nicely built waiter leaning over a table as he deposited some drinks. That earned yet another eye roll.
“Haven't you been seeing Rain?” I pulled her attention back to me.
“Yeah, off and on,” she shrugged.
“Which is practically a declaration of love from you,” I blinked wide eyes at her.
