by Jordan Ford
But now?
Now I’m sitting here with a totally different opportunity.
This could be the chance I didn’t even know I wanted.
Today’s game decides if I make the team or not.
If I play badly, there’s no way Coach will let me stick around.
Plus, Dad might see that I’m not the golden girl he thought I was. Maybe he’ll let me drop this baseball dream and pursue something else.
I don’t have to have a scholarship to go to college yet. Nothing’s set in stone. Hell, maybe I could work for a while until I figure out exactly what I want to do and then start college when Chloe does.
I kind of like the sound of that.
I suck in a hopeful breath and hold it.
Would Dad really let me do that?
Closing my eyes, I fight off the nausea rolling through me.
It’s a mixture of nerves and excitement.
Today could solve one problem and start up a whole bunch of new ones.
But I’d be free.
Free to make my own decisions.
At the top of the third inning, I’m still sitting on the bench. I’m kind of getting anxious to play. The longer I sit here, the shakier my resolve gets. I just want a chance to get out there and show Armitage that I shouldn’t be playing ball.
Yeah, it’s bad.
Okay, it’s a big fat lie.
But it’s a solution, right?
I don’t want to think about the immediate aftermath—Dad’s disappointment, Maddie’s surprise. I just want to get this over with so I can free up my life and finally say yes to Cairo’s offer. I glance into the stands and our eyes connect. He leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and studying me.
I flinch and quickly look back to the field.
Man, with the way I’ve been ignoring him the last two and a half weeks, he’ll probably take back his offer. Shit, he probably thinks I never even wanted to accept it with those lame excuses I dished out.
I’m such an idiot.
My lips dip into a frown as I mentally chastise myself. But then I’m distracted by a wave of tension that ripples through the team.
I glance at the field and notice the Brazenwood Knights’ pitcher. He’s new.
Unable to help myself, I study him carefully as he fires a rocket at Kingston. Our best batter swings and misses.
“Strike two!” the umpire calls.
Maddie goes stiff beside me, making two fists on her knees. She hates losing more than anyone I know.
This new pitcher’s got her stressing, which she doesn’t need to because we have a healthy lead.
I roll my eyes and go back to watching the pitcher.
He strikes Kingston out, then swiftly takes down Zane. Third batter up gets to first but is walking back to the dugout within a few minutes as Pitcher Boy takes out his fourth batter with ease.
“Who the hell is that guy?” Luke mutters as he picks up his catcher’s mask.
Zane shakes his head. “We’ll have to watch out for him this season.”
Whispers ripple around me and I glance at Coach. Even he’s looking nervous.
I purse my lips, wondering if I should mention the fact that I spotted at least two tells from the pitcher. Like how he raises his knee slightly higher when he’s going for a fastball. And just before all three of his curves, he licked his bottom lip.
Biting my lips together, I fight the urge to get up and say something. I don’t want to give myself away. Besides, this is just a friendly…who cares if we lose? It doesn’t count for anything.
The guys shove on their mitts as the Pitbulls prepare to take fielding positions again.
“Frost, you sit back. I want to give Maddie a turn.” Coach Keenan stares down at his clipboard while Luke has a little hissy fit.
“What the hell?”
Holden spins with a horrified frown. “Did you just see their pitcher? We’re not in a position to slack off yet, Coach.”
Well, that was an asshole thing to say.
How is Maddie on the field going to make their chances worse?
Sexist douchebag!
I glare at his face, fighting the urge to stand up and rip into him, but Coach grabs his shoulder and whispers something in his ear.
Hopefully he’s telling him off for being a dick.
Holden’s shoulders slump and he gives Coach a reluctant nod before shuffling towards the mound.
Maddie shoots me a heated glance, then grabs her catcher’s mask and heads onto the field. I give her a thumbs-up to try and encourage her, but I don’t know how much good it will do. Holden’s got a serious case of “the glares” right now. I wonder if he’s going to pull something stupid out there.
Chloe’s in the outfield, so I can’t ask her what she thinks. With her rose-tinted lenses, she probably wouldn’t think Holden was up to much. But I know better. I’m looking at his face right now and this is going to be a painful inning.
I’m right. I’m so right.
Holden plays his dick card like a pro. I don’t know exactly what he’s doing, but Maddie’s fumbling the ball all over the place, and I know for a fact she is not doing it on purpose.
At one point she storms across the field, getting up in Holden’s face and arguing with him. He must be throwing her pitches she’s not expecting, because she’s fired up. They both are.
It’s so obvious he doesn’t want her taking Luke’s place.
What a freaking man-baby.
“Hey!” Coach Keenan yells from the fence. They jerk apart and I try to catch Maddie’s eye, but she’s too pissed off, turning back to say one last thing to Holden before storming to her position.
The inning finally comes to an end. Thank God.
Maddie plunks down beside me with a loud huff. She looks ready to kill something. Breaths are spurting out her nose like an angry bull.
And she stays in angry bull mode all through the next inning. Once again the Knights’ star pitcher does his thing; then Coach plays it safe and puts Holden and Luke back in for the fourth inning. Holden’s back on form, proving that he totally screwed Maddie over in the third inning.
I feel bad for her. She’s so desperate to prove we belong here. And she doesn’t deserve to be treated like an idiot. I fire a glare at Holden as he steps into the dugout and we get ready for the changeover. Zane will be batting first. I wonder if he’s going to play it like he did last time and strike out yet again.
Maddie lets out a sharp huff and slaps her knee.
I flinch and look at her. We stare at each other for a second—blue on blue. She’s hurting, fuming, desperate to win this game and prove these sexist douche buckets wrong.
Shit. She wants me to step up.
And I can’t let her down.
I can’t let her look bad just so I can keep going with my big lie.
With a resigned smile, I let out a soft sigh and walk over to the batting lineup before I change my mind.
Zane’s reaching for his helmet when I approach him. Holding up my hand, I stop him before he puts it on, quickly mentioning my observations to him and the other batters who’ll be going on after him.
“What?” Kingston frowns at me.
“You need to watch his leg. It comes up kind of high on his fastball. He knows that’s your weakness, so that’ll be his first pitch when you step up.”
He stares at me like I’m crazy. Or maybe he’s just confused that I’ve come up to talk to him and I actually sound like I know a thing or two.
After the way I’ve been performing, I don’t blame him for doubting me.
The other guys give me a mixture of confused frowns. Except for Zane. He looks at the pitching mound and actually nods.
“What do I need to watch for?”
“He struck you out with two cutters and a curveball. He licks his bottom lip before throwing a curve, so watch for that. His slider tell is a twitch of his nose and I’m not a hundred percent sure on his cutter yet, but I’m wondering if it’s jus
t the fact that he pauses for a moment longer before throwing it.” I shrug. “Something to watch for, anyway.”
Zane sticks out his bottom lip in thought before slipping on his helmet, grabbing his bat and giving me one more glance. I see a touch of skepticism in there, but it’s not as bad as the others. Maybe he’ll listen to me.
Nervous energy pulses through my stomach as he steps up to home plate, gripping the bat and looking to the mound. His stance is strong, solid. I watch the pitcher.
He pauses.
For a beat too long.
“It’s gonna be a cutter,” I whisper.
And I’m right.
And Zane’s ready for it.
I can’t help a quick smile as he connects with the ball and goes racing down to first base.
Clapping my hands, I turn and give Kingston a pointed look. “Watch for that knee.”
He frowns but bobs his head before walking out. Swinging his bat back and forth, he does a little warm-up and then settles into his batting stance.
The pitcher winds up, his knee coming high before firing a fastball down the line. Kingston connects and a ripple of applause runs through the stands as he easily makes it to first base. Zane’s on third.
And it’s my turn to step up.
Dammit.
But I have to.
I can’t let my sister down. Not after the way Holden’s been acting. I have to take one for team Barlow.
Guitar lessons can wait, I guess.
Luke steps up and gets ready to grab a bat, but I move in front of him before he can.
“Can I have a turn, Coach?”
Coach Keenan gawks at me. “The way you’ve been batting? We’ve got two guys on base out there. I need to send in someone who can get them home.”
“Like me,” Luke spits out softly.
I ignore him and turn to face the coach head on. “That someone’s me.”
Coach’s thick eyebrows wrinkle with a skeptical frown.
Grabbing a helmet, I slip it on and force a grin. “Look, I know I’ve been off form the past couple of weeks, but I’m telling you, I can get these guys home. We can get a comfortable lead on the Knights and win this thing.” Slapping his arm, I grab a bat before he can argue. “Trust me.”
I step onto the field before he can say anything else.
It’s time to shut Pandora’s box and do what everyone expects of me.
I was born to play ball. That’s what my dad always says.
It’s time to be the person my family needs me to be.
8
A Smile That Says It All
CAIRO
Max steps out of the dugout and every muscle in my body pings tight. I’m watching her face like a hawk, trying to see beneath that helmet and get a read on her.
This is the first time she’s stepped out all game.
“You got this, Maximus!” a large guy a couple of rows in front of us booms.
The people nearby laugh and Roman jumps to his feet, raises his arms and yells, “Yeah, Maximus!”
I yank on his jacket, pulling him back down before he can draw the big guy’s attention.
That man in front of us must be Max’s dad. He’s the new police chief. He’s built like a Mack truck and freaking intimidating. I don’t want Roman catching his attention.
Thankfully he’s too focused on Max to turn around.
I join him, eyeing her as she swings her bat back and forth. Her eyes are on the ground and she’s taking these slow, even breaths, like she’s psyching herself up or something.
Resting my chin in the palm of my hand, I tap my upper lip and try to figure her out. She looks comfortable—hell, even a little bit sexy—as she sets her stance and stares the pitcher down.
I can’t see her face. Damn, I wish I could.
The pitcher winds up and fires a ball towards her.
Max moves like a pro, shifting her weight back before powering forward and connecting with the ball like it’s the easiest thing in the world.
The pitcher’s mouth pops open as the ball goes flying.
“Hot damn,” Austin puts on an accent and laughs before shooting to his feet with the rest of the crowd.
Max just hit a home run.
I jump up with my friends who are all laughing and cheering as she lopes around the bases. Roman puts his fingers in his mouth and whistles before messing up my hair. I push him off me with a half-hearted smile.
The stands are going wild with praise as Max circles around to home plate.
Her dad is shouting the loudest. I swear I can hear him above the roar.
Max spins and smiles up to the stands before turning back and being enveloped by her sister. Everyone is so excited for her. The entire team crowds around her, obviously in awe. The guys jostle her, whooping with surprise.
“I guess she’s not so sloppy after all,” Austin mutters when we take a seat.
I nod, but don’t say anything.
I’m too busy reliving the smile she shot into the stands.
She aimed it at her oh-so-proud daddy. And maybe I’m reading too much into it. Maybe I’m just trying to find something I want to see.
But that smile.
It didn’t look genuine to me.
It paled in comparison to when she was gazing at my Stratocaster.
I’m still not convinced Maxine Barlow loves baseball as much as everyone wants her to.
And it only makes my resolve that much stronger.
Come Monday, I’m finding that girl at school, and I will chase her down until she can look me in the eye and tell me straight that she doesn’t want to open up her world to the magic of music.
9
Max
MAX
So this is awkward.
The car is stuffy with silence as Dad drives us home, having just told Maddie off for arguing with Holden on the mound. I can’t believe she didn’t say anything about what an ass he was being. She told me as we got changed after the game that he blatantly ignored all her calls and was throwing her pitches she wasn’t expecting.
That idiot nearly lost us the game.
If I hadn’t stepped up…
I glance at my sister. She’s in the middle seat, her arms crossed, her lips turned down as she stares out the front.
No one’s saying anything.
Chloe’s nibbling on her lip, her hand resting on Maddie’s knee as she tries to make her big sister feel better.
Poor Mads.
Talk about a shit day.
Not only was Holden a jerk on the field, but then he went and asked Chloe to homecoming, too. And Chloe said yes, because she’s a romantic sap who thinks she and Holden will fall madly in love with each other and ride off into the sunset.
It doesn’t work that way.
After all the guys she’s fallen for and lost, you’d think she’d figure it out.
But she doesn’t, because she’s a hopeless optimist.
Maddie, on the other hand, thinks Holden’s just asking Chloe out to piss her off.
Just quietly, I think Mads has the hots for that jerk-off. I’m sure that’s only adding to her angst.
What a soap opera.
I’m so not interested in getting involved.
Although I am glad I helped Mads out. Winning that game was pretty triumphant, even if it did put a major wrench in my plans.
After bawling Maddie out, Dad turned to me and slathered on enough praise to make me feel like Atlas. He was a Greek titan that Zeus condemned to a life of holding up the sky.
Right now, Dad is Zeus.
And I don’t know how I’m supposed to tell him that the sky’s getting kind of heavy and I’d like a break now, please.
How do I do it?
I can’t quit baseball now. Maddie needs me on that team. She’s got a point to prove and I have to back her up.
But that means no guitar.
No Cairo.
I guess my dastardly plan was kind of pathetic anyway.
Did I honestly
think I could escape what my family has planned for me?
My eyes burn as I gaze out the window. Home is just around the corner.
As soon as this car stops, Dad’s going to get out and start going on about how great I am. Maddie will end up feeling worse than she already does. Chloe will skip inside, still high on her upcoming dance date.
It’s going to be a painful weekend.
I need to support Maddie and try to make her feel better.
But all I really want to do is put my headphones on and jump into an ocean of music. I want thick beats and bass notes thrumming through my body. I want to imagine my fingers on those strings.
I want to escape.
10
Cairo
CAIRO
I don’t find Max until mid-morning on Monday. I’ve got a free period, so rather than studying, I hover near Max’s locker, refusing to give up until I catch myself a break.
Providence hands me a freebie five minutes later when Max ambles around the corner with a hall pass, her mind obviously far away as she stares into the distance.
She doesn’t see me until I’m right beside her, leaning my shoulder against a closed locker.
“Hey.” I smile.
After a double take, she frowns and swings open her locker. “Aren’t you supposed to be in class?”
“Free period,” I murmur.
“Oh. I just, uh…can’t find my assignment.”
She clears her throat and rakes her fingers through her hair. It spills over her shoulders in these blonde waves. I have to resist the urge to pick up one of those big, wide curls and loop it around my thumb.
Like that wouldn’t freak her out.
I bite my lips together and stifle my grin as she hunts through the messy stack of books and paperwork in her locker.
I’m kind of not sure how to start, so figure I’ll ease in with a compliment. “So, nice batting on Saturday.”
“Oh. Yeah, thanks. I’ve been getting that a lot today.” The books thump as she lets them go and shoots me a quick frown.
