“I feel ya. I don’t eat like this either.” During the meal, he focused on enjoying his food, preventing the end of the evening from niggling at his pleasure.
When Dallas had eaten as much as she wanted and laid down her fork, he asked, “Would you like dessert?”
“Lord, no. There’s no room for it, but thank you.”
He caught the attention of their waitress and asked for the check.
As he drove her home, his pulse sped faster each mile they gained toward the house. He clasped Dallas’s hand and held on. He’d never been this uncertain in his life, but he couldn’t wait any longer.
When they arrived, he parked at the curb and went around to open her door. She took his outstretched hand and stepped out, smiling at him. If only he could frame that look and keep it in his heart.
As they walked to the house, she leaned into his shoulder. “Cash, this was such a special evening.”
“I enjoyed it, too.” Would it still be special ten minutes from now? He took her keys and opened the door.
“Can you come in, or do you need to go home?”
Thank God. That was the only thing he couldn’t plan. “I’d love to.”
She stepped inside. “Would you like a glass of wine?”
“I’m good.” He followed her into the living room.
“Me, too. I can’t believe how stuffed I am.”
Before she could sit, he caught her hand. “Can I have a moment first?”
Raising her brows, she said, “Um, sure.”
She wore her hair loose tonight, and he loved it that way. He picked up a lock and held it between his fingers. It was so soft. And he was stalling.
He met her gaze, letting her read him, opening up his soul. Now that the time had come, he felt calm, sure of himself. Clasping her hands, he said, “Dallas, meeting you was the best moment of my life. You’re the first person I think of when I wake up, and the last one I think of when I go to sleep.” He raised her hands to his lips and kissed them. “Every day, I realize how lucky I am to know you and Piper. I love you, Dallas.”
Her pupils dilated, and she sucked in a breath.
He pulled her closer. “I may not be the richest man in the world, but I guarantee you that no amount of riches will be able to buy the amount of love I have for you.” Caressing her face, he said, “I’ll love you forever, to the last day of my life. You’re the woman I want to marry, Dallas. I want you to decide on me.”
He’d said what he had to say and said it well.
Dallas’s eyes filled with tears and she reached for him. “Cash, I don’t deserve you.” Her lips trembled and she leaned into him. “I don’t know what to say. When I’m with you, I love you. I miss you so much when we’re apart.” She rubbed her forehead on his chest. “I’m a mess. How can I love you like this, and then feel the way I do about Ethan?”
His heart wrenched. She what? Loved him but felt—how the hell did she feel about the lawyer? Dammit!
He slid his fingers into her hair, claiming her mouth with a savage kiss. Every ounce of his frustration went into it. He kissed her again and again, demanding her response. Their tongues fought a silent battle. Grabbing her hips, he ground her against him.
She clung to his neck, hooking him with her leg, pressing her body into him.
Her kisses were like fire, burning his self-control. He trailed his lips down her throat and across the luscious mounds of her breasts. She moaned and rose up to him.
This woman was his, by God, and nobody else’s. He picked her up and held her at his waist. Wrapping her legs around him, she pulled him down, raining hot, wet kisses on his mouth.
The best part of who he was as a man knocked at his consciousness. Reluctantly, he listened. He let her slip slowly to the floor and held her face in his hands. “I love you, Dallas. You don’t have to make your decision tonight. I know you’re still confused. You don’t have to decide tomorrow, either. But, very soon, I’ll have had all I can take. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone, and it hurts me too bad knowing you’re with him. It has to stop, one way or another.”
Dallas, still breathing fast, nodded. “It’s only fair. I’ve hurt you, and I don’t want to do that anymore. I’ll decide.” She held him. “Thank you, Cash. For loving me. For everything.”
He hugged her hard and headed for the door. He’d done everything he could. He hoped it was enough.
WEDNESDAY MORNING, after a restless night, Dallas strained to focus on the document she was preparing that had to be filed before the end of the day. She glanced up as Ethan stopped by. He’d been out of the office the past two days. The man looked perfectly groomed, as always. She stopped typing. “Hi, how was court?”
He perched on her desk. “Court was fine, but otherwise, I’ve been terrible. I missed you.”
She smiled. “So sorry I ruined things for you.”
Picking up a pen, he twirled it in his fingers. “I wanted to remind you, we go to New York in fifteen days.”
Crap, really? “Ethan, about that. I was thinking. It’s so soon after our Dallas trip, and Piper is pretty clingy right now. I shouldn’t go.” Cash had monopolized her thoughts since he’d left last night.
Ethan frowned, and she could tell he was annoyed. Maybe even angry. “Dallas, those tickets are incredibly hard to come by, and I’ve made all the reservations. I won’t let you back out now.”
Why didn’t he understand? Piper needed her, too. “This is embarrassing, but I maxed out my budget buying clothes for the symphony trip. I can’t afford to go to New York.”
His frown disappeared. “I should have realized that. I know a wonderful shop. I’ll take you there. My treat.”
Her jaw dropped, and she pulled her hand away. “Absolutely not. Thank you, Ethan, but that isn’t necessary.”
Reaching for her hand again, he held it firmly. “It is necessary if that’s what’s keeping you from accompanying me. I won’t take no for an answer, Dallas. I’m making an appointment, and you’ll come with me.”
His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. He was seriously insisting that she go. The unpleasant incident with his assistant ran through her mind. If she backed out of the New York trip now, would it affect her work? This was an Ethan she didn’t recognize.
Removing her hand from his grasp, she squared a stack of papers. She couldn’t afford to lose this job.
He tilted his head to catch her gaze. The old Ethan was back in his infectious smile. “Come on. Say yes.”
At least his mother wouldn’t be in New York. “Okay, and thank you. But I’ll be spending my time with Piper between now and then.” After all, she had agreed to go. Fair was fair.
He squeezed her hand and grinned. “Deal.”
She watched his receding back as he headed toward his office. No damned wonder he was so good with juries. The man could sell an Eskimo ice water.
THAT NIGHT, AFTER GETTING Piper to sleep, she dialed Sarah. It had been too late to call her the previous night after Cash left. Settling back on the couch, she took a sip of wine and waited for her friend to answer. “Sarah? Kids in bed? Do you have time to talk?”
“It’s Tom’s turn to put them down, and he’s not doing so well, but I’m all yours. Speak, girl, while I get something to drink.”
What would I do without her? “Last night I went out with Cash, and I can’t describe how wonderful he was.” She told her about their romantic dinner. “Sarah, when we got home, he told me he loves me. But he didn’t just say he loves me. He told me in so many ways. It was beautiful.”
Pausing, she took a sip of wine and continued in a soft voice. “And I love him, too. I know that now. For so long, I tried to figure out my feelings for Ethan and Cash. I hardly slept last night, and I realized something. There are different kinds of love. One love may fill in my gaps and make me feel whole. Another love may inspire me to be the best I can be. Love can be the thing that brings me pure joy. I have to choose the kind of love I want. Find the man who can give me tha
t.”
“Uh-huh, so true, honey.”
“Ethan’s love fills in my gaps. He’s like a safety net. I’ll never want financially when I’m with him, and he takes charge of everything when we’re together. I’m never that scared little girl when I’m with him. I feel loved and content.”
“What about Cash?”
“His love is simple and kind and accepting. Cash understands me when I least expect it. He’s patient and slow to anger. His love is the type that can last a lifetime. He makes me happy.”
“I think you have your answer, girl,” Sarah said.
“I do, don’t I?”
Sarah gave a short laugh, “I don’t envy you. Now it’s time to do something about it.”
Her heart sank. It was a mess. She couldn’t tell Cash how she felt. Not with this trip to New York ahead of her. How would that look? If only Ethan hadn’t insisted she go.
“Bye, Sarah. Talk to you soon.” Tossing her phone on the cushion beside her, she took a long swallow of wine. The man had seemed almost sinister today when she’d tried to back out of going. She didn’t imagine it. Why was her going so important to Ethan? It couldn’t just be the money. The muscles in her abdomen relaxed. She’d get through this trip, have a pleasant time while preserving her working relationship with him. Then she could tell Cash—and Ethan—her choice.
DALLAS RECLINED ON the couch late Sunday evening, fiddling with the stem of her wine glass. She missed Cash. He understood her need to spend her time off with Piper this week, however, his absence had left her feeling surprisingly lonely.
It would be wonderful to hear his voice, but conflicting feelings warred inside her. Despite her misgivings, she’d agreed to go to New York. That put sharing her final decision over two weeks away. Somehow, when Cash said he’d wait a little while longer, she didn’t think he meant that long.
Her phone rang. It was Cash. The decision to call him had been taken from her, and she smiled as she lifted it to her ear. “Hi.”
“Hey.” He yawned quietly. “Excuse me. I figured Piper would be asleep by now.”
“She is. I’m glad you called. I was just thinking about you.” Hearing his deep voice set off butterflies in her tummy.
“Really?”
“Yeah ... listen, what you said the other night. It was beautiful.” God, was it beautiful.
“I meant every word of it.”
“I know. That’s what made it wonderful.” She had to do it. It was wrong having this conversation without telling him.
“Cash?”
“Hmm?”
“Ethan made these plans a long time ago, and I tried to get out of it, but he said the tickets were very expensive, and he won’t let me back out now.” It was dumb, but her hands shook and it was getting hard to breathe. How would Cash react?
He didn’t say anything.
“Cash?”
“What tickets?”
“To a Broadway play in New York. It’s in eleven days. We’d leave on Thursday evening and come back Sunday after lunch. “
His silence stretched on for several moments.
When she couldn’t stand it any longer, she said, “I’m sorry, Cash. He’s a partner at the firm. I got this feeling—”
His voice shaking, he said, “Wait,” and was quiet again.
Something was happening with him, and it terrified her. She set her wine on the table then knocked it over.
Cash heaved out a loud breath, and with his voice still shaking, said, “You know I love you, and you know how much. I want to hang in there for you, but I ... Dallas, I just can’t. Not for this.” He took another rasping breath, and said in a strangled voice, “I don’t want to lose you, but you’ve made your choice. I have to let you go.” The line went dead.
Stunned, heart pounding, she lurched from her seat, pacing the room. With trembling fingers, she dialed him back.
It rolled to his voicemail.
Shaking and cold, she stumbled to the couch and called him again.
He didn’t answer.
Frantic, she phoned Sarah. As soon as her friend answered, Dallas, sobbing, spilled the whole story.
When Dallas ran out of words, Sarah said, “Honey, I know you’re heartbroken.”
She wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “I had to be truthful to him. I’m not sorry.” Cash deserved to know.
“No, you did right.”
“Oh, Sarah, what am I going to do?” The devastation reminded her of when Piper’s father walked out on her.
“I don’t have the answer, hon. You have to figure this one out for yourself.”
The fact was there was nothing to figure out. Cash had turned his back on her.
Chapter Fourteen
Cash took his beer and change and stepped away from the bar. The band rocked the house as the bass player riffed madly, nearly piercing Cash’s eardrum. Jesse and Boone had brought him to The Longhorn Saloon in Wichita Falls, hoping to take his mind off his breakup with Dallas. So far, it wasn’t working.
Jesse met him as he approached their table and slung his arm across Cash’s shoulders. “Come on, bud, don’t be a light weight. That’s only your third beer. We’re here to get drunk! At least you and Boone are. I’m driving.”
His friend was right. Cash threw his head back and chugged his entire bottle.
Jesse laughed. “Now that’s more like it. Come on, I have someone I want you to meet.”
Jesse walked ahead of him to the table, calling out, “He needs another beer, Boone,” as they got close.
Boone grinned and slapped Cash’s back on the way to the bar. “I’m on it.”
Jesse looked around. “I’ll be right back.”
Cash shook his head in resignation. Between his two best friends, he had no chance of staying sober tonight. But what the hell? He’d be miserable, sober or drunk, so he may as well drink. He missed Dallas so bad he found it hard to eat or sleep. And work? That was a joke. Seemed all he did was mess things up.
Just then, Jesse showed up, pulling a good-looking, dark-haired woman in his wake. With a flourish, he said, “Tanya, this is my friend, Cash.” He winked. “I’m dating her best friend, so you’d better take good care of her.”
Tanya raised her eyebrows and grinned. “Nice to meet you, Cash. Don’t listen to him. I can take care of myself.”
Damn. Though partying and dancing with other women was part of the plan for the night, now that the time had come, he had no heart for it.
The band started up a two-step. Jesse grabbed a girl and slapped Cash on the back. “Come on, bro, get out there.”
Tanya looked at him with a grin, waiting for him to ask her out on the floor.
Dallas was lost to him. He had to get used to the fact. This was as good a way as any to start. Holding out his hand, he said, “Would you do me the honor, Tanya?”
She was a great dancer. No matter what he asked of her, she spun, turned, and scooted at his bidding. If she were Dallas, he’d have loved dancing with her. As it was, he couldn’t wait for the song to end. It didn’t feel right having another woman in his arms when all he wanted was to hold Dallas tight and kiss her until he drove all thoughts of the other man from her mind.
The music stopped, and he led Tanya from the floor. When they got to the table, he held her hand for a moment longer. “I need to tell you something. Being here tonight is what Boone and Jesse cooked up because I’ve been in a funk lately. I’m sorry, but I don’t feel much like talking or dancing. I don’t want to keep you from having fun. Will you excuse me?”
Her gaze softened. “It’s okay, Cash. I understand.” She headed off down the row of tables.
Jesse and his girl walked by a few seconds later, and he asked, “Where’s Tanya?”
Cash held up his finger. “No more dancing partners. I’m sitting here and drinking in peace, buddy.”
Jesse frowned. “But—”
“No buts. Quit fixing me up.”
Jesse nodded and studied him for a bit. “
You got it, bro. Holler when you want another beer.”
Half of his buddies’ solution worked. By the time they headed home, he wasn’t thinking of Dallas. He wasn’t thinking of anything. The next morning, he couldn’t remember leaving the bar, arriving home, or getting into bed. His buddies took care of those things for him.
THE GENTLE CLIP-CLOP of the horse’s hooves lulled Dallas’s jangled senses—a case of nerves caused by this three-day trip with Ethan when her heart ached for Cash. For their first night in New York, Ethan had suggested a carriage ride through Central Park and made dinner reservations at a restaurant in Tribeca.
On the ride to the airport this morning, she told Ethan that Cash broke up with her. Ethan was obviously pleased though sympathetic for her loss. She had to get over it—forget about Cash. Ethan was all she had now. So why wasn’t she ecstatic over this trip to the Big Apple? She just wasn’t trying hard enough. “This is beautiful. I didn’t know the park was so big.”
Pulling her tighter against his side, he said, “The best way to see Central Park is by carriage ride.”
Leaning her head on his shoulder, she reached for that peaceful, secure sensation he always gave her.
He kissed her forehead, resting his cheek against her.
Her chest eased a little as she watched the horse’s rump sway side-to-side in rhythm with the sound of its hooves. Mesmerized, her mind calmed. Maybe this trip was what she needed.
A town car waited for them as they stepped down from the carriage.
Ethan caught her hand and whisked her to the door held open by their driver. “We’ve just enough time to make our reservations.” Once inside the car, he tilted her chin and kissed her gently. “I’m so happy you’re here with me. I can’t wait to show you New York.”
Looking into his eyes, it was clear how much he meant it. But where was her own enthusiasm? “I’m looking forward to it.”
Ethan kept her entertained during dinner with vacation-gone-wrong stories. By the time they were back in the car, she was in a cheery mood. As they pulled up to the majestic entrance to the New York Palace Hotel, she marveled again at its old-world beauty. Inside were gilded balustrades, frescoed ceilings, and tall columns. Their two-bedroom suite, elegant in every detail, had a gorgeous view of historic St. Patrick’s Cathedral. Ethan had gone way over the top in his effort to make her happy.
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