The look on Leon’s face when I lashed out at him filled my head. I had felt so justified at the time in attacking him. When he recoiled at my verbal lashing, it had even felt good. Yet now I felt nothing even close to good. I had attacked him with a low blow. It was unfair of me to use his darkest secret to attack him with, despite his piggish outbursts at me.
I had overreacted. This was perfectly clear to me. What if I had misconstrued Leon’s banter as trying to be offensive when it was simply flirtatious? Leon was accustomed to a very different sexual lifestyle than I was. What if being crude and offensive like that was part of the Dom-sub relationship?
I did not want to be any man’s sub, including Leon Christensen. Even if it was normal behavior within the circles he ran in, Leon was no fool. He knew that I was not into those sexual proclivities and that I had little reference for what the norms were. Even if he was trying to acclimate me to them and see if I responded to being a sub, it had seemed hard-edged and abrasive.
My words hung in my mind like a noose. I had been cruel. I had been foolish. Now, I would have to be humble. I was not going to pursue a sexual relationship with Leon Christensen, I promised myself this, but I did need to mend our professional relationship. I needed a clean break.
I walked back into my office brusquely. Rather than drive right over to his office and confess that I was wrong, I would sleep on it. My intuition screamed out against this, but I knew I needed to cool down and process everything. Every fiber in my being wanted me to go over there immediately and control the damage before Leon did anything rash.
I considered this. Would Leon do anything to hurt my professional career immediately? It was possible, but I had to trust that he wouldn’t. If he wanted vengeance, even an apology tomorrow might not quell that desire. There was nothing left to do but wait until tomorrow.
I pulled out a pad and paper. I began to write all of my feelings about what had happened. Soon, I was staring at a substantial apology. The computer hummed on as I brought up the word processor. Then I began to type the second draft.
Leon,
This is my sincere apology. I am sorry for my outburst in your office.
It is true that I came there to provide you with a match. Despite our night together, I am still compelled to do my job as best as I can. I believe we can both behave as professional adults and move past a simple night that we both enjoyed. It was a wonderful night that I do not regret.
I reread the line about not regretting the night with Leon. I was unsure as to whether it was even true or not, but as I thought about it more and more, I wasn’t ashamed that we had sex nor did I regret it. I continued on:
I do regret my behavior at your office. But please understand that what you were saying upset me. I should not have responded in such an angry fashion, but I lost control of my emotions. If I could go back, I would have explained to you how what you were saying was making me very uncomfortable.
My words were harsh and cruel. They were without base and I meant them only in the sense that I wanted them to hurt you. None of the things that I said have any truth to them. It was shameful of me to use your past pain to try to hurt you presently.
I understand if you refuse to work with me further, but I at least want to leave on a positive note. If we can move past this unpleasantness, I will still work on your case for you, free of charge. That is how I will show you that I am truly sorry.
I considered how to sign it, before finally deciding on a lame:
Sincerely,
Julie Facet
I reread the letter and printed it out. Then I deleted it from my computer. I was never going to give Leon the letter, but it helped me organize my thoughts. These were the words that I would paraphrase for him. With them all laid out before me, it made the daunting task of walking back up to Leon and apologizing to him seem smaller.
I left the office and decided to go to the gym to relieve some more tension. The prospect of fixing the mess that I had created was actually filling me with excitement now. In the morning, all would be made right again.
Chapter 13
I woke up early. I stretched, still sore from the gym. The shower felt wonderful against my skin and I spent an extra few minutes just soaking up the hot water and enjoying myself. I drank only one cup of coffee and ate a light breakfast of oatmeal and fruit.
Instead of driving to work, I drove right to Leon’s office. This time, I called him on his cellphone. It went to voicemail and I left him a brief message.
“Leon, this is Julie. I’d like to talk and apologize for yesterday. I’m near your office, so call me and maybe we can meet up,” I said. My voice was steady, but not harsh. It sounded exactly as I had practiced in the event that he didn’t pick up.
I didn’t speed towards Leon’s office. Instead, I took my time and tried to kill some of that time while waiting for him to call me back. As I approached, I began to worry that he wouldn’t call me back.
I contemplated what to do. If he didn’t call me back by the time I reached his office, I would simply go into the organic coffee shop that was a few buildings down. I would drink expensive coffee and go over some of my work. I had brought my laptop, so I knew that I could at least continue to work.
When I drove by his office building, I saw that Leon’s car was outside. The lights were on in the building so I pulled in. Maybe Leon hadn’t heard his cellphone. It was even possible he was in a meeting. I parked next to his car and got out, surveying my surroundings. The sun cast down warmth from above the tree line in the distance and I closed my eyes, basking in the light.
I turned to the office building, feeling excited and anxious about our next meeting. I was going to apologize to Leon and fix everything that had gone so wrong. I couldn’t undo the sex that we had, but now I had accepted that I could not undo it. Maybe, after today, it wouldn’t even matter. While I knew that we would never have sex again, it was still a wonderful memory for me.
I walked into the building. There was no one in sight. I walked around, nervous now that I was somehow trespassing or invading private property. It was a relatively small building, but there had always been a security guard by a little desk before the elevator. Shrugging for no one to see, I called the elevator down to me and boarded.
Minutes seemed to pass before the elevator reached me. Sweat formed on my brow and I patted it off gently, taking care not to mess up my makeup. I looked around, positive that someone was going to emerge from somewhere and demand to know what I was doing. No one came. The elevator doors opened before me and I boarded.
I pressed the button for Leon’s floor. The doors inched close and soft music played in the background. A piano was playing some classical piece that I recognized, but couldn’t actually name even if my life depended on it. I had taken a musical appreciation class in college and barely got a B minus. And that B minus had only come after a teary confession to the teacher that I just didn’t understand music. It had greatly hurt my ego to have to grovel like that, but it had given me a bump that had kept my GPA relatively high.
The elevator doors opened. I breathed in deeply before walking out of the elevator. I reread the note that I had written on the computer the previous day as if I were studying for a test. I realized that I was actually about to be tested. There was no way Leon was simply going to give me a free pass. I steadied myself and prepared for his rude comments.
A soft noise was coming from his office. I stopped dead in my tracks, alarm striking my heart. Adrenaline dumped in my veins. Leon was in his office and I could hear some sort of noise that sounded like crying. When I looked around, I saw that his secretary had not arrived yet. It dawned on me then just how early I had arrived at his office.
Had it been possible that Leon had come in this early, only to start weeping in his office? A flicker of hope ran through me that maybe he regretted all of the things he said to me. Maybe his despair over having offended me had grown so great that tears had broke over the dam of his emotional block.
Then another thought struck fear into my heart. It was possible that Leon was crying over what I had said to him the previous day. Was it possible that he had even stayed in his office the entire night, possibly crying, maybe washing his sorrows down with alcohol? I shuddered at the thought, not yet ready to confront that guilt that would come along with that realization.
I inched closer to his office, the sounds of gentle moaning growing louder. His door was closed, and for a moment I considered turning and leaving. If I walked into his office, it was possible that I was going to make things worse by violating his privacy. I even worried that we might connect again the way we had on the anniversary of Kevin’s death. If that happened, it would throw another wrench in my entire plan.
I turned the door handle slowly and opened the door. My heart sank in my chest and I froze at what I saw. The first thought that struck at me was that I shouldn’t have come here. If only I hadn’t walked into his office. I could have simply turned around and gone home. I could have never seen Leon Christensen again and wrote him off as a bad lesson learned.
Leon stared at me. His eyes were as cold as ice. The sapphire eyes that had once burned with warmth as I let him inside me now burned with frostbite. Sweat was pouring off of him as he moved back and forth. There was no smile or hint of humor on his face. I stared into his eyes and it was like a knife cutting through me.
He was completely naked, save for a tie that was still on his neck. He stood up straight, his hands extended before him. A woman was bent over, her sideways profile facing me. Another tie was wrapped around her neck and Leon was pulling on it as he thrust into her, over and over again with growing intensity as he stared at me. Her legs wavered as he pushed against her. The moans that I had mistaken for tears were coming from her, her mouth open and reaching towards the sky.
She turned and saw me. A look of shock spread over her face before Leon pulled the tie tighter, still thrusting in and out of her. It was Andrea Locke, naked and tied before him. My eyes grew wide as I recognized her and she recognized me.
“Leon, I,” Andrea began. Leon pulled the tie even tighter, cutting off her words. She moaned loudly, unable to stop herself.
“Quiet now,” Leon said sternly.
I was frozen in place. Leon, still holding the tie that bound her, freed one hand and turned Andrea ever so slightly so that I could see him moving in and out of her. My eyes defied me and when I looked, Leon Christensen’s cock was deep inside of Andrea Locke’s ass. He slid out and she moaned in a mixture of pleasure and pain. Leon was fucking Andrea anally. I raised a hand to my open mouth.
“Would you like to join us?” Leon said. His eyes were leveled at me, filled with biting cold. No words would come in response. There was no remorse in his eyes or even the slightest amount of compassion.
I wanted to cry out in rage and hurt. Shock was raining down on me as I watched Leon thrust himself against her, his hips making smacking sounds against her sweat-covered body. Leon turned away from me and looked back down at himself penetrating Andrea. A loud moan grew inside of his throat and he quickened his movements.
“Feel free to stay and watch,” Leon said, his voice straining. He was about come and his voice would not remain steady. “We don’t mind.”
Tears burned in my eyes. Leon looked at me one final time and then his eyes shut. He looked up and all of his muscles began to tense. Turning to run, I heard Leon cry out in triumph as he orgasmed.
I ran, tears streaming down my cheeks.
Chapter 14
The world blurred around me. My lungs burned as I ran past the elevator and darted for the stairs. I had to keep moving. I knew that if I just kept moving in that moment, maybe the horror of what I had seen wouldn’t wash over me like a tidal wave of pain. I jumped down the stairs in twos and threes, pulling on the handrail as I did so. The only sound I could hear was the frantic panting of my breathing.
Leon, inside of her, pushing, coming, crying out in pleasure, moaning, grunting, looking at me, laughing, smiling, eyes cold and without feeling. This was Leon Christensen. The woman from the file bent over before him, bending over to him and his will, letting him inside of her, painfully, aggressively, submissively, filled with him and pleasure, filled with his want, his lust.
Through the panicked thoughts that seemed without end, I wanted him to chase after me. I wanted to hear the sound of his footsteps pounding down on the ground as he raced to stop me, raced to explain himself, raced to apologize. I breathed heavy, my heart pounding through my chest and blood rushing to my brain as I ran, but no sounds followed.
Outside, the sun had barely moved since I had last looked at it rising in the horizon. Yet that had felt like years ago. Could it really only have been five minutes? I raised my hand to shield my eyes from the blistering sun and gasped for air, now realizing just how out of breath I was. My eyes burned with tears as I scanned the parking lot for my car, which wasn’t hard since the parking lot was empty except for my car and Leon’s.
My hands fought against me as I searched my purse for my keys. The fingers attached to my hands were no longer mine, gone to the stress that now held power over my entire body. My defiant fingers finally found the keys and managed to lock onto them, pulling them out of my purse with such clumsy force that my wallet and lipstick flew out with it. I dropped to my knees and picked them up, another flood of tears pouring out of me. I knelt there for a full minute, crying.
Anger began to boil through the tears and they began to feel like acid against my face. My hands that had been shaking from shock now shook with rage. I clenched two fists and rose from my knees. I ran my fingers through my hair and wiped the salty tears from my face. I reached delicately into my purse and pulled out a tissue and blew my nose. I breathed in deeply and clicked the button to open my car door.
I opened the door and looked over to Leon’s car, still parked next to mine. I pushed away any thought of what he was doing right at that moment and continued to stare at his car with a growing disgust. The impulse to run my keys against the finish and slash the tires made me feel alive with revenge for a full minute. In the end, I sat down in the driver’s seat of my car and let the feeling pass. I would not give Leon the satisfaction of knowing he had bothered me enough for me to act like a vengeful child.
I sat in my own car, a numb feeling washing over me. I didn’t start the car; the keys weren’t even in the ignition. I just sat, composing myself as the sun climbed higher in the sky.
How long had I been in the parking lot of Leon Christensen’s office? I didn’t know. I only knew that I had to get out of here; the sight of his office in front of me brought up a feeling of revulsion that struck at my stomach, tying it into a painful knot of nausea.
“It was nothing,” I said to no one. “Nothing.”
I put the keys in the ignition and turned them to start the car. For a panicked moment I was positive that the car wasn’t going to start and I was going to be stuck in the parking lot, forced to call for a tow truck and wait until he came to save me. The hours would pass and of course other employees would arrive. Leon would have to bring down the girl he had savaged in front of me and bring her home eventually. We’d lock eyes and maybe he’d try to invite me back to her place with him. Maybe he’d say nothing. I wasn’t sure what would be worse.
“Stop it,” I said.
Leon’s abs flexed as he pushed in and out of the woman before him, bent over and moaning with pleasure. I couldn’t remember her name or even what her face looked like outside of an abstract representation of pleasure itself. Beads of sweat formed on her perfect skin as she let Leon take her in every way, not objecting as he pushed painfully inside of her. I could see his eyes, dead of emotion and colorless, two black holes of color that sucked all light into them. His muscles pulsed with the oncoming storm of his orgasm, pushing inside of the girl with no name’s ass while she bit down her lip.
I shook off the image and rubbed my eyes. A voice on the radio began its mornin
g recounting of the previous day’s news and suddenly I was aware of the small vibration of the idling engine. I let out a sigh of relief and for the first time since I barged in on Leon fucking another woman before me with vitriolic coldness in his eyes, I laughed. I laughed at my own foolishness and false panic over the car.
I drove the car away from the office building and rather than feeling relieved, sadness wrapped itself around my chest and squeezed. Gravity itself grew heavy and it was difficult to move. The radio began to grow quieter and quieter as I drove on, lost in my own thoughts.
I looked up and realized just how far I was way from Leon’s office. I had not been paying any attention to where I was going. My mind would simply not focus on driving. The realization that this was probably more dangerous than driving drunk cut through the static of my thoughts and I pulled off an exit. Sitting in my car, I searched the internet with my phone for a commuter lot and found one only a mile away.
I dialed in the number for a cab in my phone and listened to it ring before a voice cut through and startled me, making me almost drop my phone. I lied to the operator that I was having car problems and told him where to send a cab to pick me up. The operator told me it would be fifteen minutes and I thanked him, my voice steady, not revealing just how flustered I really was.
I pulled into the commuter lot and parked the car. I sat in my car and simply waited for the cab to arrive, not letting any thoughts grow in my mind. I followed my breath and hummed along to songs on the radio that I didn’t even know the words to. After a half hour, the taxi pulled into the commuter parking lot and I grabbed my purse and walked out to greet him.
“Lucky break,” the driver said through his open window.
“Excuse me?” I asked. I could not think of a single thing that could be construed as lucky.
He tossed a cigarette onto the ground. It was definitely illegal to smoke in a cab, but I didn’t protest that he had filled the cab with stale smoke; I was grateful that he had come at all. Smoke billowed out of his nostrils as he spoke.
Billionaire Erotic Romance Boxed Set: 7 Steamy Full-Length Novels Page 39
