“Elizabeth Martin,” Mr. Ferry said.
“Present. And it’s Liz.” About twenty heads turned in my direction when I announced my new name. I didn’t make eye contact with anyone but Mr. Ferry, but I could see the strange looks in my periphery. They were trying to place me. Either that or they were amused at my attempt to rebrand myself. Only time would tell if it was a worthwhile effort.
“Liz it is,” he mumbled as he made a note in his grade book.
The glances continued throughout class. When the bell finally rang, I hightailed it out of there before I could get stopped for questioning.
My second class was film and there were more upperclassmen than I expected. Film was one of the electives that was a good filler for graduation credits when you wanted an easy course load. I was probably one of the few people that took the class because I was actually interested in the subject. Having stopped at my locker to drop off my ginormous geometry book, I walked into the room with just a few seconds to spare. It was full and the only open seat was in the middle of the front row. Awesome.
Mrs. Zimmerman was a sweet older woman that insisted we each offer a ‘fun fact’ about ourselves during her roll call. Okay, test number two. Not only did I have to introduce myself to a room full of complete strangers, I had to tell them something that would leave a good impression. I racked my brain as she worked her way from A to L. By the time she called me, I wanted to vomit. But, generally a quick thinker under pressure, I rallied.
“Hi. My name is Liz and I’m a sophomore. The only interesting thing I can think of about myself is that when I was little, my mom and I missed a plane that was hijacked.”
The chuckles that followed most of the other introductions, and that I expected to hear after mine, never came. With an awkward giggle of my own, I tucked my chin and let my long hair hide the burn I felt in my cheeks. I didn’t even hear the name that was called after mine. I would have kept my eyes locked on my bloody cuticles for the rest of the class if a deep voice next to me didn’t grab my attention.
“I’m Adam Fischer and I am very happy Liz and her mom missed that flight.” The room filled with laughter. I glanced up into deep blue eyes and recognized him immediately. Adam was Allie’s older brother. I hadn’t seen him in several years and he’d definitely filled out since the last time we went swimming together at the Fischers’ house. His sweet smile elicited a smile of my own. Thank god for a friendly face. Although I did wonder if he called me Liz out of respect for my wishes, or if he didn’t remember my name so it was easier to just latch on to the new moniker. Whatever. He did exactly what I wanted so I wasn’t about to question it.
“I think we all agree with that sentiment, Adam. But, can you share a fun fact of your own?” Mrs. Zimmerman wasn’t mean about it but she definitely wasn’t going to let him get away without his own share moment.
“Oh, um, I guess the most interesting thing about me is that I wrote a book when I was fourteen. It’s not published or anything but hopefully it will be someday.” Adam was speaking to the class but his quick glance my way made me feel like he was saying it directly to me. A book? That was pretty impressive and interesting. I really needed to step up my game if Liz was going to have any chance at popularity.
When we were finally released for break, Adam walked out with me. “So, is that true? You were almost hijacked?”
“Supposedly. Crazy, huh?” I don’t know what happened to the people on that plane but my mom has had a thing against flying ever since.
“Definitely. I haven’t seen you around in a while. Did you move away and move back or something?”
So he did remember me. Cool.
“We did move away but I hated my new school so I was able to transfer back here. Hopefully, I’ll be here through graduation.” He walked with me all the way to the bank of D lockers but when we saw Allie with Kim, he stopped short.
“Well, welcome back. It’s good to see you.” He squeezed my shoulder and turned back in the direction we came from.
“Thanks. You too,” I said loudly over my shoulder as he disappeared into the crowd.
“Beth!” Allie cried out as soon as she saw me approach. “I’m so happy to see you.”
Test number three. Would the few people that truly remembered me be able to keep up the charade? “I go by Liz now.”
“Ooh, I love that name. Okay, Liz, welcome back!” She was a sweet blonde that never had an unkind word to say about anyone, which was ironic because her bible-thumping parents passed judgment on people every chance they got. It was amazing that she and Adam had turned out so well.
“Thanks. Hey, I just saw Adam. He’s like…hot. When did that happen?” I laughed. He was always a good looking kid but he’d definitely come into his own over the past few years.
“Uh, yeah. I don’t know. I hardly ever see him. He lives with my mom and I mostly stay at my dad’s.”
I glanced at Kim for help. She gave me a shrug and pulled a Clif bar from her purse.
“You live with your dad? Did your parents get divorced or something?” I felt like a shitty friend for not knowing her parents separated.
“Yeah. Last year. It’s fine. They weren’t happy so it’s probably for the best. The weirder part is that Adam and I don’t live together. I’ve barely seen him all summer. I think he’s avoiding me.” She looked sad but it didn’t seem like the right time to go into a deep conversation. We only had a few minutes and I had to pee.
“I’m sorry to hear that. But, I just saw Adam and he seemed great. Maybe he’s got girl problems or something.” I was trying to lighten the mood but it was clear that he wouldn’t have any problem getting girls. If anything, he probably had too many to choose from.
“Uh, I don’t think girls are the problem,” Kim said snidely. There was definitely more to the story but she had been left out for too long. I loved that girl but she always needed to be the center of every conversation.
“So, did you meet any cute guys yet?” She waited about a second for me to answer then jumped back in. “Oh, have you seen Austin? He’s like a god. Let’s try to find him at lunch and see if we can get his attention.”
Having always been thin and blonde and rich, Kim never had to try to get a guy’s attention. But, for my sake, she liked to act as if she had to work for it. It was sweet but completely unnecessary. I knew that she was the hot girl and I was the hot girl’s friend. That was how it had always been, and I had no illusions that a new name and smaller dress size would change anything.
“Not yet but we’ll find him. I’m sure he’ll be looking for you too,” I teased, even though it was probably true.
“Well, I have P.E. with Jen right before lunch so we’ll find you guys.” Allie waved as she walked down the hall.
“I need to run to the restroom so I’ll see you later. Text me if you find them before I find you so I’m not wandering around like a loser.”
My next two classes were similarly uneventful as the first two. I saw a lot of people I knew and only a few called me Beth. That wasn’t nearly as bad as I expected. When I walked into the cafeteria to pick up a salad and diet Coke, I found Allie and Jen already in line. Jumping in with them, we quickly paid for our food and went in search of Kim…and Austin.
It didn’t take long for us to find her at the front of the school. She was sitting on a retaining wall near the flagpole with a group of older guys around her. Of course. I didn’t see Austin but when I walked up to her, he stepped in front of me to introduce himself.
“Liz, right? We have French together. I thought I recognized you.” He gave me a hug that I wasn’t expecting. My arms instinctively wrapped around him and brushed against his muscular back. He was tall and slim but had a country boy style that we didn’t see very often in the burbs. Kim wasn’t kidding when she said he’d grown up. He still seemed goofy, with a toothy grin on his face, but he was less awkward than I remembered. And his hair was now cut very short with just some wavy curls on the top of his head. It was a goo
d look.
“Hey, Austin. It’s great to see you. I didn’t even realize you were in my class. I was just trying not to sound like an idiot when I introduced myself en français.” I laughed awkwardly because he was still holding me even though we weren’t really hugging anymore.
Allie and Jen also said hi and that broke the spell that had Austin holding my biceps like I was about to keel over. Maybe I was. I was definitely in shock at his overly warm welcome.
While they talked about their summer and the classes they had that morning, I glanced around at the other people in the group. There were about six guys that I didn’t recognize that had obviously been with Austin before he started talking to us. They were all older, juniors or seniors, and seemed to be checking us out. Well, they were mostly checking out Kim but one guy was staring at me.
He had dark brown hair and deep hunter green eyes that seemed to be glued to me every time I glanced in his direction. His strong jaw line was perfectly chiseled and made me wonder what it would feel like under my fingertips. Or my lips. His straight hair hung down over his eyes a little and matched the super model vibe he was giving off. And there was something about his intense stare that gave me chills. I couldn’t tell if they were the good kind or the bad kind but his cool and confident demeanor made me feel even more insecure under his gaze.
His tan skin looked like he’d just stepped off the beach and I wondered why he was watching me. I couldn’t help rubbing my nose and running my tongue over my teeth to make sure I didn’t have something green in either spot. When I couldn’t stand it anymore, I turned my back to the group and pulled a small mirror out of my purse to check my face. Nothing seemed wrong.
When I turned back around, the guy that had been watching me and one of his friends were standing right beside Austin. Without breaking eye contact with me, he nudged Austin.
“Hey, Auz, who are your friends?” Austin looked up and realized he was staring at me so I was his first introduction.
“This is Liz. She didn’t go here last year but I knew her in middle school. You probably remember Kim from last year. She’s a sophomore now. And these two are Jen and Allie.” Jen and Allie were definitely the shy types. Both were pretty and very smart but preferred to get attention for their high grades rather than their fashion sense. I could appreciate that. When your best friend is god’s gift to men, you get used to being a wing woman and not relying on your looks. It was a life lesson I was glad I learned early in life. I only wish my mom would have learned it at some point. “Ladies, this is Logan Cooper and that’s Randy Thompson hiding behind him.”
“Fuck you, Austin,” Randy said, punching Austin in the arm. Logan didn’t even flinch at his friends play fighting around him. He was completely focused on me.
“Liz. It’s nice to meet you.” Logan took a step closer to me and held out his hand. “Are you a sophomore too?” His voice was smooth as honey. It made me want to crawl up his chest to get closer.
“Yeah. You?” Well, no one ever accused me of being witty.
“Senior. You know, I feel like I’ve met you before but I know I wouldn’t forget a face like yours.” He stared, looking over my whole face, finally letting his eyes stop at my mouth. Then he leaned into Randy and whispered something in his ear. Randy looked back at me and nodded his head.
I could feel my face blush as I braced myself for what was coming next. This could go very badly so I had to either confront whatever they had to say or avoid them. As much as I wanted to walk away, curiosity got the better of me.
“What?” I asked, feeling more than a bit defensive at the secret they shared about me.
“You remind me of someone.” Logan smiled wide and his dimples made me forget to feel nervous about who I reminded him of. “Randy’s ex-girlfriend. You kinda look like her…but you’re way hotter.”
“Yeah right.” I didn’t want to be the girl with low self-esteem but I couldn’t allow myself to believe that he meant it. That a senior actually thought Beefy Bethy was hot. So, I turned around and walked a few feet to where Allie and Jen were talking. They were pretending not to listen but everyone within fifteen feet was following our conversation. It was too much of a spectacle to ignore. One of the most gorgeous guys in school was talking to a new girl, a sophomore, when her beautiful and busty friend was nearby. Clearly, it had to be a ploy to get at Kim.
“It’s true.”
I was trying to ignore the voice behind me but I couldn’t. My body turned toward him, desperate to change the subject to something less focused on my appearance.
“Whatever. I’m sure she’s just adorable,” I said in a snarky tone that I usually reserved for my mom and Jesse. Why I would ever consider being bitchy to a guy like Logan was crazy but my defense mechanism was in high gear. I had worked too hard for a fresh start to be humiliated by some jerk within my first few hours of school.
“I mean it.” He wasn’t quite whispering but it was obvious he was trying to speak just to me. “I used to think she was really pretty but now, compared to you, I can see I was wrong. Your blue eyes are amazing. And your hair…I love long hair.” He reached forward and twirled a curl around his finger.
I’m sure my mouth was hanging open but no words came out. Kim was even more shocked than I was and quickly stepped in.
“Logan, right? It’s good to see you. I knew Becky from choir. She was always talking about you.” Kim sidled up to me and practically shoved me aside to get in front of Logan. Probably her way of giving me space to gain some composure but it just made me mad. And jealous.
Logan winced at the name and took a step back from Kim. If I wasn’t one of the main characters in that scene, I would have laughed out loud. I’m pretty sure some of the guys did laugh but I wasn’t paying attention to them. My eyes were glued to Logan’s, watching his reaction to Kim and her proximity.
“You’re one of Becky’s friends?” His look of disdain was apparent. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
I looked to Kim and wasn’t sure if I should laugh or feel sorry for her. I’d never seen her rejected by anyone—ever. She was surprised and obviously mortified by his comment.
“We aren’t close friends. I just knew her from a few classes.” Kim quickly backpedaled, never really allowing herself to be out of control of a situation. “Well, it was nice to meet you guys but we need to get to our lockers.” With a swing of her golden locks, she strode to me and grabbed my arm. “See ya.”
Not quite realizing what was happening, Kim pulled me away from the guys with Jen and Allie on our heels. As soon as we rounded a corner, I stopped to compose myself. “What just happened?”
My friends were just as confused as I was but they were also beaming. “That hot senior was totally picking up on you,” Jen gushed. She was practically jumping up and down with her hands grasping mine as we relived the previous few minutes.
I looked to Kim for confirmation. She was the expert at this kinda thing.
“I think he was.” Kim seemed reluctant to admit it, but as my best friend, I think she was generally pleased. “He seemed to be really into you. You need to talk to him again. I’ll see if Austin wants to do something after school and maybe he’ll bring Logan.”
After school, I had to go straight to the elementary school two blocks away to pick up Riya and Simon, the two kids I tutored in the afternoon. Walking down the street with my mind replaying the conversation at lunch, I barely noticed the car that pulled up beside me. When the window rolled down and loud music poured out of it, I stopped to look inside.
Randy was in the passenger seat of a shiny new white Mustang. Such a guy car. Logan leaned over the steering wheel and caught my eye. “Hey, Liz. Can I give you a ride home?”
Seriously? I had to take a few deep breaths before I could force words out. “Oh, um, thanks, but I’m just picking up a couple kids from Washington.” I pointed to the elementary school field that was only a few houses away from where we stopped.
“Were you like six when you had
them?” The half smile on Logan’s face made his left dimple call out to me. I just wanted to touch it.
“Ha ha. I’m tutoring them until their parents get home.” I started walking but he kept rolling beside me.
“Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay, see ya.” I waved but didn’t make eye contact again. I wanted to climb into his car and go wherever he would take me, but there was no way I’d ever let him take me home. Thank god for the tutoring excuse or that would have been awkward.
Just as I reached the field, my phone vibrated in my bag.
“Hi, Mom,” I answered with more than a hint of annoyance in my voice.
“Hi, baby. Do you have any money here that I can borrow?”
Of course that’s why she was calling. She only called when she needed money or for me to babysit. Usually both. “I think I have a twenty in the blue jar on my dresser. You can have that.”
“Oh, actually, I had to use that last week. I can wait til you get home but I need diapers and a few other things that I can’t buy with my SNAP card.” Other than diapers, if there was something she needed that she couldn’t use food stamps for, it generally meant wine or cigarettes.
“Doesn’t Jesse have money to cover up his daughter’s ass?” I hated being so bitchy but they brought out that side of me.
“Don’t be like that. You know how he gets when I ask him for money. It’s just easier to ask you. Can you help or not?” Her guilt trips were legendary. Somehow, her poor life choices meant I was responsible for feeding her addictions.
“Yeah. I’ll be home by eight. So, how are the kids? Is Billy home yet?” His bus stop was one of the last for drop off so he got home late most days but I was grateful for it. Every hour in that house was an opportunity for him to get into trouble. And by trouble, I mean saying or doing the wrong thing and earning a whipping from Jesse. I wish he could stay at school until I could pick him up so I’d be able to shelter him a bit more. But, I could only do so much. As Kim always reminded me, I’m not his mom.
The Outside Series - Complete Trilogy: Books 1-3 Page 2
