His father-in-law was looking at him like he was shit on a stick, so Izzy took a deep breath and asked the question he’d vowed he wouldn’t ask ever again. “Have you heard from her lately? Eden? Is she doing okay?”
Dan was silent as Jenkins escorted Private S. Anderson and her little black dress out of his part of this hospital room, as Jenn pulled the curtain all the way over to the wall, giving them at least the illusion of privacy.
“For the record,” she said as she sat in the chair down by the end of his bed instead of the one within arm’s reach, which made his heart sink, “it was Jay Lopez’s idea—to tell you that the blood was Jenk’s.”
“Lopez,” Dan repeated.
“He was sure you were going to lose your leg, Danny, and he thought if you had any chance at all, it would be hindered, not helped, by the idea that you’d received such a huge transfusion from Izzy. Who, by the way, was the only one whose faith in you never wavered.” She paused. “Besides me.”
“It’s sobering,” he said quietly. “To see myself through that lens. I mean, it’s crazy to think that Lopez was right, but … Lopez was probably right. Fuckin’ Zanella. He makes me …” He laughed his self-disgust. “And then I go and double down on the crazy by being unable to keep from turning back into a twelve-year-old when my father comes to visit.” He shook his head, wishing he could rewind and take a do-over, ashamed not just because she’d witnessed his childish behavior, but also because he hadn’t pushed aside the stupidity and focused on what was important—not allowing his freaking girlfriend to get emotionally stomped by his asshole father. Forget about Sheila, and what Jenn must’ve thought by seeing her there, dressed up like that. “I’m so sorry, Jenni.”
She gazed back at him, and he knew she absolutely hadn’t forgotten about Sheila—who was she, why had she come to visit him? The questions were in her eyes. But she didn’t ask, and Dan knew she wouldn’t. She was too much of a class act. She would just bury her doubts, but they’d always be back there, eating away at her. He knew that, too.
So he broached the topic. Just flat out. “Private S. Anderson,” he said. “I didn’t get a chance to properly introduce you, but frankly, I didn’t even know her name was Sheila until today. I met her pulling civilians out of a bus, after the car bomb exploded.” He gave her the full story, including the fact that Private Anderson had been a little flirty when they’d first met, including the fact that he hadn’t quite known how to respond, and that, yes, he’d been flattered. He told her that the flirting had stopped, though, when Anderson—he purposely called her by her last name—had been up to her elbows in his blood, applying pressure to his wound as Izzy went to get aid.
Jenn sat and listened and nodded. “Thank God she was there.” And then she said, “I ran into your doctor while I was getting coffee. Your latest blood test came back clear.”
That was great news. Almost as good as the fact that Jenn apparently considered Sheila a nonproblem, not worthy of further discussion.
“They’re willing to think about sending you home,” Jenn continued, “as long as you stick to the no-exertion rule and don’t overdo it.” She smiled ruefully. “I was, like, You do know he’s a SEAL … ? The captain actually laughed—I think we may have finally bonded.”
Jenn’s opinion of the doctor’s humorless bedside manner was pretty low, but he spent most of his days in surgery, performing amputations on soldiers and servicemen and -women who hadn’t been as lucky as Dan.
Lucky—to have a teammate like Zanella. Jesus, Dan still couldn’t wrap his brain around that.
“But he agreed that it would be a good idea to release you, if you had somewhere to stay,” Jenn went on with a caveat, “with someone who made sure you got the rest you need …?” She cleared her throat. “It occurred to me that, well, Mark Jenkins and his wife have a spare room. I know she’s pregnant—Lindsey. But she’s still working, and since Mark’s got a cast on, that first week he’s home might … Well, I thought it would be worth asking them if you could …”
“Oh,” Dan said, then cleared his throat, too. “I thought, I don’t know, I guess I just assumed we’d … go back to New York? Together?”
And yes, he was definitely feeling much, much better, because the hard-on that he’d awakened to find after his nap was back with a vengeance at the mere idea of being alone with Jenn in a place that had solid walls and a door that locked. It had been a long time, but he still knew exactly, precisely what it felt like to be inside of her. And he desperately wanted some of that. ASAP.
“I didn’t want to assume,” she said quietly.
Seriously?
“May I come stay with you in New York?” he asked. “Please say yes, and then go run and get your buddy Captain Chan to release me tonight.”
Jenn’s smile was a little sad. She didn’t speak, didn’t move. She just looked at him.
But she’d come all the way from New York City to sit beside his bed, and Danny knew that he’d won whatever battle they’d been fighting over their relationship. Hell, he’d won the freaking war. He’d scored the telling victory over two weeks ago when he’d opened his eyes to see her standing there. She loved him, too. She could no longer deny it.
And Jesus, he liked winning, despite the fact that the responsibility scared the shit out of him.
He held out his hand for her now, and she came over and took it.
“I need you, Jenn,” he admitted, even though it was harder than hell for him to put voice to those words. Fighting the rush of emotions that threatened to clog his throat, he asked her again, “May I stay with you in New York for a while?”
This time she nodded. “Of course.”
Eden was in Las Vegas, which was the last place on earth Izzy would’ve thought to look for her.
As he input the cell number and address that her father gave him directly into his phone, he was aware of Jenkins hovering at his elbow, the shorter SEAL’s trepidation nearly palpable.
“It’s probably better if you don’t tell her you gave this to me,” Izzy told the senior Gillman as he double-checked his entry for Zanella, Eden, with the info that the man had scribbled on a piece of cocktail napkin, no doubt when his daughter had called him.
“Just pass it along to Dan and tell him to call her,” the older Dan said as he got into an elevator going down to the lobby. To the lobby and then out into the parking lot, into his car and off the base, over to town, to the nearest bar … Did any of them really have any serious doubt about his destination? “And I’ll have done far more than I promised her I’d do.”
The elevator doors closed behind him and Izzy waited a few seconds before pressing the down button himself.
“Zanella,” Jenk said. They’d been friends a long time—ever since Izzy saved his life. Gee, maybe Jenkins and Gillman should start a club. Lopez could join, too, along with Tony V., after that incident in Thailand. “I’m not going to tell you what to do.”
“Good,” Izzy said. “Don’t.”
“But I do think you need to slow down. Take a deep breath—”
“How is that not telling me what to do?” Izzy asked.
“Just stop and think,” Jenk said as the elevator door opened again with a ding. “At least figure out what you’re going to say before you get there.”
“I’ll do that,” Izzy said. “On the plane.” He handed the scrap of paper to Jenk and got into the elevator. “Give that to Dan. Make sure he calls to tell Eden he’s all right.”
“Iz,” Jenk said plaintively as the doors slid closed.
Izzy stopped them with his hand and they sprang open again. “I just want to see her,” he told his friend. “You know, talk to her? In person? I know she’s done with me and I’m … I’m done with her, too.”
“You’re not acting like it, bro,” Jenk said.
“I know,” Izzy said. “But I’m just going to keep saying that to myself and … maybe by the time I get there, it’ll be true, and I can, I don’t know, have some kind of closure.
”
The elevator starting ringing—he’d held the door open for too long.
“You want me to come with you?” Jenk asked, even though he must’ve said forty times in the past five hours just how psyched he was to get back home to see his adorable pregnant wife. “Let me come with you.”
“Thanks,” Izzy said as he let the doors close. “But no.”
“Call if you need me,” was the last thing he heard before the elevator took him down.
LAS VEGAS
TUESDAY, MAY 5, 2009
Eden’s cell phone finally rang in the early hours of the morning, long after Ben had fallen asleep in her bedroom, exhausted by the medically and emotionally taxing day.
It wasn’t her father, but it was someone else, calling from Germany. She recognized the country code. She closed her eyes and said a brief prayer before flipping it open.
“Hello?”
“Eden. It’s Dan.”
It was her brother’s voice. It was her brother calling. “Oh, dear Lord,” she said. “Oh, thank you, thank you for calling me. Thank God you’re all right.” But then she realized that just because he was able to dial a phone, that didn’t mean he wasn’t horribly maimed. “There was this letter saying that you were wounded, and Ben and I were so scared and … Are you all right?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he told her. “I’m getting out of the hospital tomorrow morning and … Sorry if I frightened you. Is Ivette there?”
Like Eden and Ben, Danny, too, called their mother by her first name.
“I’m not … I don’t live with her,” Eden told him. “In fact, she and Greg don’t even know I’m back in town. I came because Ben …” And the relief that filled her over the news that Dan was okay triggered some kind of release, and it all came out of her, in one giant rush, even as she lowered her voice to keep from waking Ben. “Oh, Danny, he said he kicked Greg’s ass yesterday, but you should see the bruises he got. He was trying to hide them, but he changed his shirt and … That man is a monster and a freak, and Ben says he’s not going back, and I’m not going to make him, how could I? Especially when they keep saying they’re going to send him to one of those reparative therapy camps? They have him scheduled to go to this awful place in June, but what if Greg sends him someplace earlier after this? I’m trying to earn enough money to hire a lawyer so I can get custody of him, but I’m afraid if I break the law it’s going to make things worse—” She broke off, realizing that this was the last thing he needed. He was still in the hospital, and she was dumping all of this on him like a little whining girl. “I’m sorry. It’s just … This is harder than I thought.”
There was silence on the other end of the phone.
“But I’m handling it,” Eden said, forcing back her tears. She would not cry. She would not cry.
There was more silence, but then Dan sighed. “Shit,” he said.
“I’m sorry,” Eden said again. She took a deep breath. “The truth is, I could use a little help—well, okay, a lot of help—but before you say no, I’m not asking you to come all the way out here to save us. That’s not what this is about. In fact, I’ll come to you so we can talk. Ben and I’ll take the bus to San Diego—”
“I’m not going to San Diego,” he told her. “After I’m released I’m going to New York City for at least a week.”
It was Eden’s turn to be silent.
“How come Ben didn’t e-mail me?” Dan asked, and it was kind of nice, because he was asking the question in a regular voice, as if they were having a normal conversation between a brother and a sister. It wasn’t some kind of dysfunctional shouting match, the way it usually was when they spoke.
“He did. A few weeks ago,” she answered him, in the same conversational tone. “We figured you were, you know. Out there. Busy.” She forced a laugh. “Which apparently you were. Getting yourself injured. I am sorry about that …”
More silence. And then he said, “I didn’t know it was that bad with Ben. I knew it was getting to that point, but I didn’t think … I thought I’d have more time.”
“Me, too,” Eden said. “But … I can’t let him go back there. To have to live in that house with Greg? Really, Danny. And I’ve been reading about those ex-gay camps …”
“Yeah,” Dan said. “I know. I have, too.”
And hope sparked. So Eden groveled. “I would never ask you this if it was just about me,” she said quietly. “I hope you know that. I know I’ve used up all your patience and … Financially, I’ve … Pushed you too far. I know that. And I’m okay. I’m working. I have a job. I’m doing better than okay. I’m making enough to support Ben, too—and to pay you back everything that I’ve ever borrowed from you, but … You know that Ivette will never let Ben live with me. Not unless”—she closed her eyes and just said it—“you said you lived with us, too. In San Diego. Of course.”
Danny was their mother’s pride and joy. Captain Perfect. The offspring who could do no wrong. Of course, it didn’t hurt that he still sent a huge chunk of his pay home every month.
He was silent again on the end of the line, all the way across both the continent and the Atlantic Ocean, where it was much later in the day than it was here.
But whatever time it was in Germany, Eden could hear him breathing.
“Look,” he finally said. “I’m going to have to call you back. I’ll call you soon, okay?”
“Yeah,” Eden said, then quickly added, “Dan, wait …” before he could hang up.
“I’m still here.”
“Thank you,” she told her brother. “Even for just thinking about doing this for us. Thank you so much.”
“Yeah,” he said, his voice gruff before he hung up.
LANDSTUHL, GERMANY
TUESDAY, MAY 5, 2009
“Shit,” Dan said again after hanging up the phone.
“Trouble?” Jenn asked, and he nodded, glancing up only briefly to meet her eyes, before looking down again at the cell phone he held in his hands.
Something was cooking in that big brain of his—something that was making the muscles jump in the side of his jaw and his elegant lips set in a tight line.
“Is Ben okay?” she asked, and this time when Danny looked up at her, there was a flash of what seemed to be annoyance or even anger in his eyes.
Which was, in part, what made his next words so surprising.
“Marry me,” he said.
Jenn laughed, but then stopped, because it was clear that he wasn’t making some kind of crazy joke. He was serious.
Her breath caught and both her throat and chest were suddenly tight as tears stung her eyes—but not in a good way. Not in an Oh my God, I can’t believe this, I’m so happy I could cry way.
“Danny,” she said quietly. “That’s not the solution.”
“But it is,” he told her, and he actually meant it. His conviction was impressive. “Of all the places in the world where Ben could live, where he would thrive and be happy, New York City’s got to be in the top three. And yeah, I know it wouldn’t be the easiest thing. Instantly having a teenage kid to deal with. I know it’s asking a lot. Plus, it’s expensive to live there, I get that—”
“Whoa,” Jenn said. “Wait. What? You want Ben to live with me, in New York City …?”
His brown eyes were dead serious. “With us,” he corrected her.
“Except you’d be stationed in …” Where were the SEALs stationed on the East Coast? Virginia, wasn’t it? “Little Creek?”
Danny was shaking his head. “No—hell, no! Wow, I’d never ask you to … Jenni, I’m talking about leaving the teams. It’s coming up on that time again, but I just won’t re-up.”
She was stunned. “Oh, my God.”
“You really thought … Jesus, I wouldn’t ask you to do that, any more than I’d ask you to move to San Diego. You work in New York. You have a life there.”
“What about your life?” she asked.
He looked away from her so that she wouldn’t be able to see that he
was lying. “I’m ready for a change.”
Jenn just sat there, gazing at him, until he looked up.
“I knew this was coming,” he insisted. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while. Even before I met you.” He winced. “And I didn’t mean it the way it sounded—like I was thinking of the best way to handle this, so I was looking for someone to marry, to help me take care of Ben. Believe me, if I was looking for easy solutions, I’d’ve found someone who lived in San Diego.”
“I think you’re wonderful,” she told him, “to want to do this for Ben, but there’s got to be another way. What about your sister?” Not Eden, the other one. The older one. What was her name? “Sandy.”
“She’s a nightmare,” Dan told her. “I can’t count on her for anything.”
“Your older brothers …?” He told her, in one of his many e-mails, that Ivette was his father’s second wife, that he’d had two sons from a previous marriage—John and Christopher. Dan had spent the occasional weekend with them when he was growing up—they’d taught him to hunt and fish. But they’d also dropped off the map when his father and Ivette divorced. He hadn’t seen either of them in years. “Maybe this would be a good time to get back in touch.”
But Dan shook his head. “They hated us. They blamed Ivette for wrecking their family. I didn’t get it when I was a kid, but now …? I do. And since Ben’s not even related to them …”
“Okay. Eden, then. It sounded like Eden had some kind of a plan.”
“Yeah,” Dan said. “She wants us to get an apartment together in San Diego—her, Ben, and me.” He shook his head. “I couldn’t live with her. I couldn’t.”
“But you could stay in the Navy, if you did that,” Jenn pointed out. She leaned forward. “Ben’s what? Fifteen?”
Breaking the Rules Page 10
