“Think of Jaime. Don’t do this.”
His eyes cut over to mine and reluctantly Jason let the guy go and stepped back.
Begrudgingly the man reached for his pocket and Jason turned around to step out of the way, but instead of pulling out his wallet, the guy pulled out a knife.
“JASON!” I screamed but was too late.
The guy had already lunged forward to plunge the knife in Jason’s back. Faster than I could have thought possible, Jason sidestepped out of the way. The man’s momentum carried him forward past Jason. When he swung back around, Jason grabbed his arm and bent it, the wrist up at an impossible angle. You could hear the bones snap and the man dropped the knife, screaming in excruciating pain.
That should have been the end of it, but just as Jason released the man and backed up, his friends joined in. They ganged up on him, surrounding him and attacking in twos and threes. But Jason was like a feral animal that had been backed into a corner. He didn’t back down and attacked them with a savagery, uncaring that he was being punched and kicked by one as he deflected and attacked another. One of the men reached over and grabbed an empty beer bottle. When he prepared to swing it over the back of Jason’s head, I didn’t think, I just reacted.
In a high arc, I swung a serving tray as hard as I could at the man’s arm. But it wasn’t the tray that crashed into his arm; it was a baseball bat from elsewhere. Mac had stepped in, and she didn’t think twice. It crashed into his forearm with a dull thud and he dropped to his knees holding his arm.
In the time it took Mac to down the guy, the rest of them were already running out of the bar and Jason had started shoving the injured towards the door. The intensity of the situation hit me and I began to shake uncontrollably. My legs felt week and my lungs felt heavy, like I couldn’t get any air. A pair of slender yet sturdy arms guided me to the back office. It was Mac who helped me onto the couch. She thrust a tiny snifter of brandy in my face and told me to drink. I tried to ward it off at first because of the possible pregnancy, but she insisted. Deciding that going into shock would be worse; I threw back the dark liquid. The fiery liquid burned its way down my throat, and almost instantly the warmth that settled in my stomach eased the panic. The chill that had seeped into my bones slowly started to fade.
Mac sat perched on the edge of the worn maple desk while I pulled myself together. Once I managed to get my teeth to stop chattering and my hands to stop shaking, I asked her how Jason was. She said he appeared no worse for wear but she had sent him to hospital to get himself checked out. But she and I both knew that he wasn’t the type to voluntarily go to the hospital. Someone would have had to drag his unconscious body there before he would go on his own.
I wasn’t in any condition to drive and even though I was concerned for Jason, I wasn’t comfortable facing him right now. I had seen a side of him tonight that I had never witnessed. I knew he had been sent away for a long time, but nobody really talked about why. Other than the public knowledge that it was a charge of involuntary manslaughter for killing his step-father, I had no clue as to what provoked him or why he did it. Not even Jaime spoke of it.
Then it hit me. Was this the kind of man I wanted to be the father of my child? Even if I wasn’t pregnant, was this someone I wanted to live with in the same house with? Too tired to wrestle with the answers to my many questions, I sighed and lay back against the arm of the sofa. Mac tossed me a pillow and blanket and told me I could sleep in the office for the night. Taking her up on the offer, I curled up in a ball on the couch and in no time at all, fell into a deep sleep.
Jason
Even though Mac had insisted that I leave work and go to the hospital to get checked out, I refused to go. I didn’t tell her that, but I knew she didn’t believe me when I promised her I would. I had taken much more brutal beatings in prison than this bar fight. It was just a few bumps and bruises, nothing that wouldn’t heal. Thankfully the blade never got close to me.
I was more worried about Ally. When she started shaking and her eyes glazed over, I recognized the signs of shock. But I knew that I wasn’t the one to console her. She had made that blatantly clear by avoiding me every chance she got. I couldn’t help but think that me working at the same place was looking for trouble. Had I known she also worked there when Mac offered me a job, I would have turned it down there and then. To find her working there was a surprise on my first day. I could tell by the look on her face that she thought I had gotten the job to be near her.
Although, I yearned to talk to her about what happened between us, I respected her space. She still caught me staring at her every now and again at work, but I couldn’t help it. I was drawn to her; I had been since we were younger. She haunted my dreams at night and visited my thoughts during the day. And no matter how hard I tried to ignore it, I couldn’t. I had no idea what to do, but I knew we couldn’t go on much longer living as strangers in the same house. I contemplated waiting for her outside, but when Mac came over to me after the fight, she assured me that she would take care of Ally.
On my way home, I had a lot of time to think about everything that had happened. It wasn’t about the fight. I was a bouncer. It went with the territory. Besides, it wasn’t the first brawl I’d been in and probably wouldn’t be the last. No, the thoughts that kept coming into my head were about the future. While in Kenworth, I lived in the moment, struggling to survive day by day, never thinking about anything else. The future didn’t matter, since I already appeased myself with the fact that I didn’t have one to look forward to. There were days where I half expected it to be my last.
I tried to not let the darkness in, but sometimes it would still found me. There had been many nights in prison, when I had been so overcome with grief, shame, and loneliness that I had prayed for it to end. But those prayers had gone unanswered. But last night, for the first time, I was thankful that I had survived.
I climbed the steps to our front porch, but instead of walking in I sat down on the old porch swing. Swaying slowly, I tried to think about what I wanted, where I saw myself in a few years from now, who I saw myself with and what I wanted out of life. Once the probationary period was up, I was free to leave the city. Hell, I could leave the state or even the country and start over. I tried to imagine where I would go or what I would be doing. But whenever I thought about the future, all I could see was Ally’s face. I wanted the opportunity to make things right with her. I wanted a future with her, but my hopes for that had diminished to nothing but a puff of smoke swirling up into the atmosphere and slowly disappearing.
As I stood up to head in, a pair of headlights blinded me before turning into the drive. Once the white spots faded, I could see Jaime coming up the walk, but her smile faded instantly.
“Jason, oh my god. What happened?” she cried out and rushed up the steps immediately inspecting the bruises that marred my face.
“Easy, easy,” I said pulling her hands away from my face. The swelling was down, but it was still sensitive.
“What happened?” she asked again.
“There was an incident at the bar tonight.”
“An incident? This looks like a lot more than an incident Jason.”
“It looks worse than it feels,” I lied, but I didn’t want her to worry, “Look, I will tell you the details, but I don’t want to do it out here.”
Glancing around at the neighboring houses, I felt exposed. She nodded in agreement and led the way inside. I followed her into the kitchen, where she pulled out two glasses and proceeded to pour us both a generous helping of whiskey. I didn’t ask her when she had started drinking whiskey. I would save that question for another time.
“Okay, spill it,” she said as she eyed me curiously over the rim of her glass.
“It’s really nothing.” But she just raised an eyebrow at me. “Okay, so it was a little more than nothing. There were a few guys who had too much to drink and began harassing Ally,” I began. “Relax, she’s is fine.” I could tell she was about to lose
her shit, so I quickly alleviated her fears. “She just got pushed into a table, but she is fine. She was in shock more than anything. Mac is having her stay with her tonight.”
“So what happened to you then?” she asked softly.
“It wasn’t a big deal; really, one of the guys got a little handsy with Ally.” I shrugged trying not to make too much of it. “I came over and politely asked the guy to let her go.”
“Politely huh?” she said.
“Yes, politely, anyways, I told her to tab them out. When it came time to pay, they didn’t want to leave and they needed a little encouragement.”
“Encouragement?”
“Look Jaime, I didn’t hit him first if that’s what you are concerned about. He pushed Ally into the table and I stepped in to make sure she was okay and that they were leaving. Then he came at me when my back was turned. It was self-defense, nothing more. Eventually, they left and that was it.”
She stared at me with a blank expression, but her eyes strained as if they were trying to detect a lie. I held myself under her direct gaze, refusing to look away.
“Okay, if that’s all you say it was. Then I believe you. I’m just glad you’re okay.”
I felt a little bit of guilt at not having told her the whole truth. I may have glossed over the details about the knife and may have left out a couple of guys, but she didn’t need to know the exact details; at least not tonight. The important thing was that Ally wasn’t hurt and my face would heal. That seemed to placate her for the time being. We chit chatted for a little bit longer, but between the shot of whiskey and coming down from the adrenaline rush from the fight, I was beat. Claiming exhaustion, I begged off to bed and headed upstairs. I didn’t even bother getting undressed. I just kicked off my shoes and flopped into bed fully clothed. In a matter of minutes, I was fast asleep.
Sometime in the night, I must have woken up and stripped because I woke in just boxers and a t-shirt with my clothes scattered all over the floor. I didn’t remember doing it, but I must have gotten hot or something. Still feeling a little rough from the night before, I took a long shower before heading down to the kitchen.
I found a sweet little note from Jaime on the refrigerator. She had made me some scones before she headed off to class. I had just finished off my second one, when the doorbell rang.
Who the hell could that be?
Whoever it was must have been really persistent, because I had barely made it to the door before they rang the doorbell again.
“What the hell do you...,” but the words caught in my throat. Standing before me were two county police officers. One of whom, I recognized as the officer who had arrested me for the murder of my step-father eight years ago. Ice cold fear, gripped my spine and sheen of clammy sweat broke out on my forehead.
“Mr. Armstrong?” the older one asked. Him I didn’t recognize. Either he was new to the force, or hadn’t been involved in my case.
“Yes,” I answered slowly. I hated cops. Especially the county cops because they had all been in the Walters back pocket. I had never shared with anyone the abuse I had suffered at the hands of the cops. No one would have believed me anyway. And even if they did, they would have believed that I deserved whatever treatment I got.
“We need you to come with us down to the station.” His voice was monotone and his expression blank, but warning bells were going off in my head. “We just want to ask you a few questions.”
Bullshit
“Why can’t you just ask me now?”
“Cut the crap Armstrong!” Officer Maynard piped up. He had always been an arrogant son of a bitch. “We know you kicked the crap out of some guys at Hennigan’s last night. And now they are pressing charges. It’s back to the big pen for you, my friend.”
“Cool it Maynard,” the older officer stepped in, thumping a hand to his chest. From the name on his badge, he was Officer Kristoff.
I looked at Officer Kristoff because he seemed the more level-headed of the two. “I don’t know what they told you, but they jumped me. They were harassing one of our waitresses, even pushed her, and then they jumped me.”
“Likely story,” Maynard scoffed, but Officer Kristoff cut him off with a glare.
“Mr. Armstrong, I’m sorry but you have to come to the station with us. Now you can come quietly under your own volition, or we can place you under arrest.”
I glanced from one cop to the other. Maynard was practically vibrating in his polished wingtips, itching to put me in handcuffs again. But I couldn’t give him the satisfaction. I thought of Jaime and how she would handle this. I owed it to her, to minimize the damage.
Nodding my ascent, Officer Kristoff backed off gesturing towards the car. Thankfully, they were in an unmarked car and not a police cruiser. I closed and locked the door behind me before climbing into the backseat. As we pulled out of the driveway, I glanced up at the house and prayed that this would not be the last time I saw it.
Ally
I’m pregnant.
No matter how many times I said it, I still couldn’t quite wrap my head around it. It didn’t matter that I had pretty much already figured it out before the test confirmed it. It still caught me off guard, so much so that I hadn’t been able to hear a word during the lecture. Pre-midterm lectures were in full swing, and although I studied through correspondence, I did have the benefit of attending some lectures throughout the year, which all happened to fall in line with Jaime’s roster. I was thankful for her, she went to classes every day, and then I copied her notes. She also helped me out with topics that were unclear in the online material supplied.
“Hey. Earth to Ally.”
Jaime’s hand flashed in front of my face, close enough to make me flinch. I jerked back and then glared at her.
“There you are. What the hell is wrong with you? You haven’t picked up your pencil once, have you heard anything that’s been said?”
Heat rushed up to my cheeks, embarrassed that I had been caught so out of it. That, and I was trying to figure out how I was going to tell Ally that I was pregnant, and that her brother was the father; not to mention breaking the news to Jason.
“Sorry, my mind’s been all over the place today, I didn’t sleep that well,” I fibbed.
“I figured, Jason told me what happened, at least you weren’t hurt.”
“I guess.”
As we were packing our bags to leave, Jaime’s cell phone rang giving me a reprieve from her interrogation. But it was short lived. As we walked down the hall together I could tell something was drastically wrong based on her end of the conversation.
“Jason. Wait. What’s wrong?” Her face drained of all color and she put a hand to the wall for support. Large fat tears pooled and began dripping down her face. Alarmed, I tried to ask her what was wrong but she waved me off, continuing with her call. We were drawing attention to ourselves, so I ushered her into an empty classroom and shut the door for privacy. Switching from one foot to the other, I anxiously waited for the conversation to end so I could find out what was wrong. All I knew right now was that it involved Jason. And whatever it was, it was bad.
“Okay, okay I’ll be right there. Don’t worry. We’ll get this all straightened out.”
She shoved her phone in her pocket, her hands visibly shaking and then looked at me without really seeing me, obviously distraught. When she reached for her keys, I put a hand on her arm.
“Jaime, you are in no condition to drive at the moment. Take a minute to calm yourself. Tell me what happened.”
She shrugged off my hand, but she at least set her purse and keys on the table. Her voice edged with panic she relayed the phone call.
“Jason was arrested this morning. He was talking too fast for me to get all the details, but it had something to do with the brawl last night at the bar.” She eyed me suspiciously. “What exactly happened last night?” she demanded.
I quickly told her the details of the fight. Apparently, Jason had left out the part about the knife be
cause her face blanched again when I mentioned it. But she remained quiet when I finished.
“Jason said it was self-defense. If the guy attacked him from behind with a knife, I don’t understand why they would arrest him. He is saying they could send him back to prison for the rest of his original sentence!”
I didn’t say anything, but my expression must have spoken volumes. Despite the guy attacking Jason first, and with a weapon, there were several times during the fight where I thought Jason could have resorted to less violence. Seeing him that way, and what he was capable of, had shown me a side to him that I didn’t want to see. Now that I knew I was carrying his child, I didn’t know if I wanted to get involved.
“What?” she asked.
I just shook my head. “It’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing Ally. I’ve known you for more than half your life, and can read you like a book. Now tell me what that face was for!” she demanded.
Sighing deeply, I hesitated while I searched for the right words. She just simply stood there with her arms crossed waiting for me to continue.
“It’s true that he was attacked from behind with a knife last night. But, you weren’t there.”
“Go on,” she urged.
“He disarmed the guy in seconds, and it should have been over. But, he broke his wrist and then smashed his face into the table. That’s when his friends got involved. I know they attacked him as a group, so it wasn’t a fair fight.”
I hesitated, feeling a mixture of dread and guilt swirl around in the pit of my stomach. How did you tell your best friend that you were afraid of her brother?
“I don’t know. It was scary and not because he was outnumbered. I was more worried for the other guys. Jason was a completely different person. He was cold and calculatingly brutal. He was savage and feral like a caged tiger that had just been let out.”
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