“Look at you being all assertive and standing up for yourself,” Luke teased. “Way to put yourself first for once.”
“I’m not just putting myself first,” Autumn said. “I’m putting all four of us first.”
“Four of us?” Luke said.
“Yeah. You, me, Avery, and—” Autumn realized she had been about to say Crystal, but stopped herself. “And, uh, whoever you decide to be bound to someday.”
“Oh,” Luke said, looking uncomfortable now.
The four of them continued on in silence. Autumn caught Luke and Crystal exchanging several coy glances and thought that maybe putting Luke on the spot like that had been a good thing.
LUKE settled in next to Crystal after he received his double-shot latte. Having coffee at Sugar Brown’s made Luke feel much like he did the night before the Warrior Trial, which seemed like years ago, but he could also remember everything like it was yesterday. He remembered how nervous the Quinns were, how worried they’d all been that they wouldn’t make it through the test alive. Turned out their worries had been dead on, because that very next day, they lost Cera.
Luke had always liked Cera, even though she sort of intimidated him. She had always said exactly what was on her mind. Unlike him. There he was, sitting next to Crystal, talking and laughing with all of the others, but he couldn’t even tell her how he felt. How he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Maybe it was because he wasn’t used to thinking about just one girl at a time. Before Crystal, every girl that walked by occupied his thoughts. Just as quickly as they entered his mind, though, they were gone, and he was on to the next one.
Now things were different. And he was still not sure if he was okay with it. He didn’t know who he was without all of those girls pining after him, and quite frankly he was afraid to find out. But then he looked at Crystal, at her flawless face, full of honest sincerity, and he realized that he would rather risk losing who he was with all those girls, than to never find out who he had the potential to be with Crystal.
“Luke?”
He looked up to see Autumn, Avery, and Crystal standing, now the only ones left in the coffee shop, waiting for him.
“Are you okay?” Autumn asked, her brow creased with concern.
“Yeah, I’m fine. When did everyone else leave?”
“Just now,” Avery said.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Crystal asked, and his heart flipped at the sound of her lilting voice.
“I’m great,” he answered, standing. It was sort of sad, he thought, that everyone assumed there was something wrong with him just because he was lost in thought—apparently he didn’t think very much.
AUTUMN did a thorough check of the surrounding area for any eavesdroppers before letting Avery follow her into her branch. She began to walk to her bedroom, but stopped when she saw that Avery was still standing by the door.
“Is something wrong?” she asked.
He watched her with a serious expression, like she was a particularly cryptic poem that he was trying to figure out.
“What you said earlier about not just thinking about yourself…”
Autumn sighed, having expected this on some level. She always forgot how touchy guys were about long-term commitment. “Avery, I didn’t mean to pressure you. I’m not saying you and I have to be bound to each other or anything. I was just—”
“We already are bound to each other, Autumn.”
“Red roses aren’t binding.”
“Not by a rose,” he said, walking slowly towards her. Autumn’s pulse began to quicken and her skin tingled with sparks of anticipation. “We’ve been bound to each other since that first time we touched, that first night you came here. We can tell when the other is near without even looking, because we can feel it.” He was now a foot from her, his voice dropping to a murmur. “Like our souls are connected somehow.”
He ran a hand down her bare arm, sending a violent shiver through her body, his mouth quirking at this.
“If you can’t be bound to me, if Olympus won’t change his rule—” he began.
“Then I won’t be Queen,” Autumn breathed. He pulled back at this, looking surprised.
“I was going to say that we didn’t need a rose to be bound, actually. You can’t not be Queen because of me.”
“I want you more than I want to be Queen.”
“You have me, Autumn. All of me.”
“I’m not going to rule a kingdom when I don’t believe in what it stands for. I believe in freedom.”
“Autumn,” he said, his lips caressing her name.
Autumn pressed an index finger to his lips, tracing the outline of them before trailing her fingertips lightly across the line of his jaw, down to his collarbone until the hem of his shirt stopped her track.
She looked up into his gray eyes, the dim fay light making them look almost colorless like the smooth glass in a windowpane. Autumn imagined if she looked hard enough she could see into him, into his soul. She wondered what a soul looked like, anyway. Was it like a shadow of the person it inhabited, like smoke or vapor? Or maybe it was pictures of everything that made up the person—their family, their friends, their lover. Maybe it was invisible or looked like a heat wave, like the warlocks’ spells.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Souls,” Autumn admitted absently, still tracing his collarbone, “and what they look like.”
“Mine looks like you.”
AVERY looked into Autumn’s hazel eyes, bright with passion. He ran the back of his hand across the smooth skin of her cheek as she brought her own hands up, placing them gently on either side of his face, pulling him down to her. He took in her full lips, red from the blood rushing to them. They parted slightly and his lips met hers, a perfect fit.
He ran his hands through her silky, auburn hair down to her neck, which he touched as gently as if it were a delicate flower. His lips moved from her mouth to the line of her jaw to the base of her neck. He tried to push away the memory of the day of the Warrior Trial—the memory of her wearing the shadow of a bruise like a necklace, a bruise caused by Victor. At the time he hadn’t realized just how lucky he was Victor hadn’t killed her. He was, after all, an Ellock—an Ellock with more power than any other creature. The power to snuff the life out of someone as easy as blowing out a candle.
Another unwanted memory flashed to the forefront of his mind—his twin sister, Avabelle, lying twisted and dead on the ground, covered in blood and red welts. Her neck had been covered in them. Then there was Victor standing beside that Shadow.
Avery jerked back suddenly, away from Autumn.
“What’s wrong?” she said, looking startled.
He pressed his palms to his eyes, trying to remember what Autumn had said that night the centaurs heard about Victor.
“What else did Vyra tell you that you haven’t told us?” Lucian had asked.
“She told me that the Shadows were made from Victor’s blood, and that…he can control them.”
Avery’s eye grew wide. “He killed her.”
Catalyst
CHAPTER THIRTY
AUTUMN looked up at Avery with wide eyes. “Wh—what?”
“Victor killed Avabelle,” he said. “Didn’t he?”
He looked at her with hard, gray eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out.
“You know, don’t you.” It wasn’t a question. He knew she knew.
Autumn’s eyes filled with traitorous tears. “I thought it would only hurt you, Avery. I didn’t think it would do any good to tell you now.”
“You didn’t think it would do any good for me to know that Victor killed my sister? That her death was not an accidental run-in with a Shadow, but a murder?”
“It doesn’t change anything,” Autumn whispered. It doesn’t bring her back, Autumn thought, but kept herself from speaking these words aloud.
“It changes everything.”
Avery traveled to one of the armchairs beside the unlit f
ire grate and sat, resting his head in his hands.
Autumn hesitated before coming to sit in the armchair facing his. “Avery—”
“How did it happen?” he said, keeping his head in his hands.
“I don’t think that’s—”
“How.”
Autumn’s chest tightened at the sound of anguish in his voice. “Vyra said that Victor strangled Avabelle and then called a Shadow to…”
“To what.”
“To mangle her body so the elves wouldn’t suspect him.”
Avery grabbed two handfuls of hair and closed his hands into fists. Autumn knew this would happen if he found out. He already blamed himself enough when he thought she was killed by a Shadow. But now that he knew Victor killed her, he would think that he could’ve prevented it somehow.
“Avery, Victor is an Ellock,” Autumn said softly. “Even if you’d been there—”
“Stop. Don’t tell me that I couldn’t have done anything. Don’t tell me that getting angry about it won’t bring my sister back. Don’t tell me I need to let this go.” He stood up suddenly, making her jump. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said as he strode to the door, throwing it open, and slamming it behind him.
Autumn didn’t cry. She didn’t go after him. She didn’t do anything. Just sat and stared at the empty armchair in front of her and wondered what it would be like to live a life without secrets.
AVERY moved down the spiraling staircase like a lion rushing up on its prey, quickly and silently. He didn’t know where he was going exactly, he just knew that he wanted out. Guilt at how he’d left things with Autumn tugged at the back of his mind. He knew why she’d kept this information to herself. Because she knew what it would do to him. He wasn’t even angry with her. He was angry with himself.
He’d known Victor was an Atrum. He’d known what Atrums were capable of. But he’d still trusted him. He trusted him with the life of his sister. Autumn could say it wasn’t his fault all she wanted, but she would never convince him. She would never take the image of his sister’s mangled body out of his mind.
Avery was surprised to find himself surrounded by trees. He hadn’t even realized he’d left the castle. Now he was traveling down a path leading into the forest. He wished he would have brought fay light with him. He could barely see a few feet ahead of him in the thick darkness of the woods. Part of him wanted to turn back and return to Autumn’s branch. Part of him wanted to climb into bed with her and hold her through the night and let her fill the gaping hole in his chest that was threatening to suffocate him. But he didn’t deserve any of that. He didn’t deserve to feel whole. He didn’t deserve to have someone like Autumn love him. He deserved to be alone in the dark woods. He deserved worse than that, even.
An involuntary shudder ran through him, pulling him out of his reverie. He shook his head, clearing it, and took in his surroundings. A few feet ahead of him, there was a dark mass lying across the path. His stomach dropped, immediately thinking it was a dead body. As he came closer, though, he realized it was just a fallen tree. He shook his head at himself. Quit being paranoid, he thought.
When Avery reached the tree, he stopped. How long had he been walking? He was sure it had been at least a good thirty minutes, but he had a habit of losing track of time when he retreated into his head like this. He revolved in a slow circle, the forest around him was both quiet and buzzing. A symphony of sounds lay beneath the quiet—animals and insects singing their unique melodies.
What the hell was he doing? There was about to be a war. Tomorrow. He should’ve been sleeping, not standing alone in a dark forest. He turned away from the fallen tree and began the trek back to Arbor Castle, the leaves and twigs snapping loudly under his feet.
Suddenly he was met with an invisible force, throwing him backward. He landed with a thud, knocking the breath out of him. What the hell? He looked in front of him, but all he could see was the path with dark trees on either side. What had he run into? He climbed to his feet and walked slowly forward again, hand outstretched. Then his fingertips met resistance in the air, like an invisible wall. He tried to push his hand further, but it was thrown back, almost ripping his arm from its socket.
He moved a few feet to the right and tried again, but the same thing happened. Why couldn’t he keep going?
Then it hit him. The wards.
The warlocks had made it so that anyone could get out of Arbor Falls if they wanted to, but no one could get in. He’d walked right through them without knowing it.
He let out a loud curse into the empty forest.
“Now, that’s no way to talk, young man,” a voice said from behind him.
He whirled around to see the silhouette of a woman with long, black hair standing barefooted on the fallen tree, her violet eyes shining in the moonlight.
AUTUMN was about to amble into her bedroom when a knock sounded on the door. A small bud of hope bloomed within her, even though she knew that it most likely wasn’t Avery because he would’ve just walked in, or dropped in on her balcony.
When she opened the door, Luke was standing on the landing looking anxious. She tried not to let her disappointment show, but her efforts were futile with Luke.
“I’m not Avery.”
Autumn rolled her eyes. “No kidding.”
“Olympus wants to see us. I’m guessing the stuck up Hellingtons tattled on us. Well, tattled on you, actually. I didn’t say anything.”
“I figured they would. Your fiancée doesn’t seem to like being told she won’t be queen.”
Luke shuddered as they traveled down the spiraling staircase. “Don’t call her my fiancée. I’d rather marry a petalsie.”
“Or a courtier.”
“A what?” he looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
“A seamstress, dressmaker, clothing designer.”
Luke shot her a quick glance and then masked his face into solid indifference. Avery must’ve taught him how to do that. “Yeah, thanks for putting me on the spot like that before with the whole ‘I’m not just thinking of me, I’m thinking of the four of us’ statement. That wasn’t awkward at all.”
Autumn shrugged. “You both love each other and you both refuse to say so. Sorry for having to be the catalyst.”
“I don’t love her.”
“Luke. I’m your twin.”
“So?”
“So, I can sense these things. You’re just in denial.”
“I’m not in denial. I’m—”
“Lying to yourself.”
“That’s the same thing as denial, genius.”
“Exactly.”
Luke sighed in obvious exasperation. Lucky for him they had arrived at Olympus’s door and he wouldn’t have to admit his deeply hidden feelings for Autumn’s best friend.
There weren’t any castle workers standing guard that night because of the increased need for security around the perimeter of Arbor Falls, so Autumn and Luke just knocked and waited for their grandfather to let them in.
When he did, the smile Autumn always wore when she saw him fell away. His usually bright and cheerful face was pulled down in a deep frown.
“Come in,” he said, his tone matching his expression.
Autumn and Luke walked past him with their shoulders slumped and eyes downcast like two dogs with their tails between their legs.
“Have a seat,” Olympus said, waving a weathered hand towards a loveseat situated in front of the fireplace.
They did as he said and watched in silence as he closed the double oak doors, walking slowly to the armchair to their left and taking a seat, surveying them with serious eyes.
“I had a visit from Christopher and Christine Wellington not long ago,” he began. “I sincerely hope they were quite mistaken by what they heard. Surely no grandchild of mine would speak like that to another elf, much less their betrothed.”
Autumn felt Luke’s eyes on her as well as her grandfather’s. He knew very well that she was the one who’d spoken this way to the We
llington siblings.
“I’m sorry,” she began. “I didn’t mean to offend them in any way, but…I meant what I said.” Her hands shook slightly, so she slid them underneath her legs.
“And what was that?” Olympus asked, folding his hands before him.
“That Luke and I won’t be marrying them.”
“I see. You understand that you’re not at the liberty to change any Underground laws as of this moment, correct?”
Autumn nodded. “I thought maybe you would understand.”
Olympus pinched the bridge of his nose. “Autumn, you have not been raised as a royal elf so you cannot see the vast importance of our traditions. Every royal elf has had their partner chosen for them by the current leader.”
“Our father was raised as a royal elf,” Luke said suddenly.
Autumn glanced sideways at him.
“Yes. He was,” Olympus said.
“Well.” Luke cleared his throat. “He didn’t like this rule either. That’s part of the reason he left the Underground.”
Olympus’s expression changed slightly, his eyes full of sadness.
“We aren’t trying to be difficult,” Autumn said. “Or spoiled. We just want to have a say in who we are bound to. We understand that they should be respectable and someone who will represent Arbor Falls, and we understand that you will have to approve of them. We just want a chance to find love on our own, like regular teenagers. We want the freedom to choose who we love and the freedom to be bound to the elf we choose. All we ask is that you consider this. Please.”
At her last word Olympus looked up at her with shining eyes. “You are so much like your father,” he said in a soft voice. “Both of you are. And he asked me to consider this same thing all those years ago.”
Autumn and Luke watched Olympus with wide eyes, both unable to move or speak.
Ash (The Underground Series Book 2) Page 23
