by Shyla Colt
“Why?”
“Do you still love her?”
“Fuck no. Everything I’ve said to you is true.” He ran the back of his knuckles down the side of her face. “I love you, there’s no one else.”
“Then why did you keep such a huge part of your life from me? Why won’t you forgive him? You’re all about family.”
“Baby when he did that he stopped being my family, don’t you understand that?” He leaned against the door, blocking her in with his large frame.
“He wants to fix it, Shooter. Holding on to this anger can’t be good. I have a small family, I’d kill for more.”
He frowned. “You have more with me, Mayhem and your girls.”
“It’s not the same and you know it.” She shook her head as tears welled in her eyes. The betrayal hurt. “I never doubted you were always up front with me and now… Well, I don’t know what to think.”
“I’ve never lied to you. Don’t let him put a wedge between us.”
“You’ve seen me at my worst. I fought demons for you. Why didn’t you do the same?” She swallowed, refusing to cry in front of him. “I need a minute. Some space.” She shook her head to clear it. “I’m going to go back to my place.”
“Baby, no.”
She covered his mouth with her finger. “I’m not so much mad as hurt, Shooter. This doesn’t match the man I’ve come to love. He’s strong, honest, fearless and does everything for his family. This challenges that. I need to digest it.”
His nostrils flared. “It’s one thing.”
“Yes, one very life-altering thing.” She lowered her hand and stepped away from him. Love meant overcoming your past to move forward a better person with the one you loved. If he couldn’t get past this she had to question how he really felt. If she could walk through the hell of her past, he at least had to step up to the plate. With a heavy heart, she went over to the counter, grabbed her purse and walked back. His jaw flexed, but he remained silent as he opened the door and watched her leave. Her heart broke with every step she took away from the man who’d become her home. Please, love me enough to fight for me. I need you to be the man I thought you were and not an illusion. I’ve had enough of false identities to last a lifetime.
Shooter felt like he was suffocating. A life without Juliette wasn’t an option. He wanted to drag her back and keep her here with him. But he knew he’d fucked up. She hated secrets, and after what she’d been through with Peter, he couldn’t blame her. I should’ve come clean a long time ago. Her words haunted him. This doesn’t fit with the man I’ve come to love. He didn’t have to think about his next move. He had to make this shit right. The ring he’d taken to carrying around burned a hole in his pocket. The past had no place with his future. He walked over and grabbed the card Juliette had left on the counter and set out.
He pulled up in front of the mid-grade hotel and parked. His face heated, and his stomach churned. When he didn’t hold on to the anger he was left with the hurt. His chest burned and he gripped the handlebars, mentally psyching himself. The door opened and Joel appeared. Standing, he got off his bike and walked over. Joel allowed him to enter and shut the door behind him. The beige walls threatened to close in on him as he made his way over to the table and chairs and set down.
“I’m here for Juliette. She deserves to know without a shadow of a doubt she’s number one. I don’t have any designs on Angelina if that’s what you’re worried about. What we had was puppy love. But that first time is potent, and you were my big brother. That’s what’s been tearing me up this whole time. I needed you. I was coming away from a world of chaos, death and blood. I needed you.” He glanced up into his brother’s glossy eyes. “I needed you and you let me down in the worst possible way. I promised myself after that I’d never put myself in a position where I could be hurt. It’s how I dealt with it, a quick patch over the wound to allow me to function. When you’re in the military Uncle Sam owns your soul. There’s no time to get lost in your head because you need to perform.
“I shoved the shit down and moved forward, always clinging tight to the anger. I was an angry man when I got out. Readjustment is harsh and I had no one to help me through. Another thing I blamed you for.”
“I would’ve been there. If only you had said the word,” Joel said. “You never stopped being my little brother, Daniel. I love you. “
Shooter sighed. “It’s not a matter of not loving you anymore. That would make things easy. You’re my blood. But I don’t trust you. I’m not sure if I ever can again. You want things to go back to the way they were.” He shook his head. “I don’t know if that’s possible.”
“No, I didn’t expect that. I just want us to be in each other’s lives. I want to know what’s going on with you. I want to tell you when Brittany makes the honor roll.” Joel sighed. “You start getting older and you realize how important family is.”
Shooter sighed. “I just want to understand why. How could you do something like that? I idolized you.” The hurt returned full force. Suddenly he was that lance corporal coming home to find everything had changed. Lost, hurting and confused, he’d been a total wreck.
“It’s hard being left behind. You miss the person you love, and you’re constantly worried. Only, you can’t let them know. You have to put up this front and pretend you’re far braver than you ever really feel. We didn’t want you to worry about us because it might take your focus off what was important.” Joel closed his eyes. The lines around his eyes and his mouth stood out, and Shooter realized just how long it’d been since he saw him last. He felt a twinge of regret. “We bonded over that. When she woke up in the middle of the night after nightmares about what might happen to you, I was the one she called and confided in.”
“How do you go from that to cheating, Joel? I don’t get it.” He clenched his jaw. If they loved him so much, why had this happened?
“It just slowly shifted. All that time spent together baring our souls and getting to know each other better. I fell for her. I don’t have to tell you how amazing she is.” He shook his head. “I fought it. I tried to date other women, and we started spending less time together. All that did was make us both miserable.”
“So why not just tell me. It would’ve hurt, but it wouldn’t have ripped my heart out of my chest.”
“We wanted to do it in person. You deserved better than a Dear John.”
“Trust me, I would’ve preferred that.” Shooter shook his head. The ball of pain permanently attached to the memory of his brother and Angelina began to untangle for the first time.
“I don’t want to go to my grave with you hating me, Daniel.”
“I don’t hate you, Joel. I hate what you did and how it destroyed our relationship.” The words freed something inside him. A lightness began to wash over him. I hate the situation, not the people.
“Why the sudden change? Not that I’m complaining.” Joel held up his hands.
“It’s all Juliette. She deserves me at my best with both feet firmly planted in the present ready to move on to the future.” It had taken a very intelligent woman to make him see he’d been hurting himself.
“It sounds serious.”
“It is.”
“Well, I wish you happiness.”
“It’s the only option.” Shooter smiled.
“Jesus you got cocky, and scary… I wasn’t prepared for that,” Joel said.
“Yeah your days of kicking my ass are over, old man.”
“I’m not old,” Joel growled.
“Yeah, they say forty is the new thirty.”
“Dick,” Joel said. The smile on his face took the sting from his words. They weren’t okay yet, but Shooter knew eventually, they would be.
They spent the rest of the night catching up. Streaks of purple and orange preceded the sunrise as he stepped from the hotel, an idea caught fire in his brain. Pleased, he climbed on to his bike and took a left onto the street. It won’t be first time I’ve gone a day without sleep. After a f
ew stops he pulled up to their house a little after seven. Our house. Pride swelled his chest. They were building a life together. Still, the shit wasn’t enough. He wanted something more permanent. When you found the person you were meant to be with, you knew it. Grabbing the paper bag from his saddlebags he walked up to the door and let himself inside. He headed straight to the Keurig and made a cup of chai. They’d been together long enough for him to know the fastest route to escaping the doghouse. With her favorite breakfast and a steaming cup of tea he crept up the stairs to the bedroom they’d redecorated per her insistence. Sunlight kissed her brown skin and she lay on her back. His white t-shirt rode high up on her thighs, and he licked his lips. He walked over to the bed, set the bag on the dresser and sank down on the edge of the bed. She rolled to the side toward him. He ran his fingers down her back, soaking up the warmth pouring off her skin.
“Mmm?” she nuzzled her face into the pillow.
“Wake up, baby.”
“No.” She moaned. “So tired.”
“Open those eyes for me.”
She grunted. Her eyelids fluttered open and she wrinkled her nose. “Well, you’re here unmarred so I take that as a good sign.”
“We have some things to talk about. I don’t apologize much, but keeping this shit to myself was a shady move. “ He shook his head. “You were worried about me having feelings for Angelina.”
She tensed and he massaged her neck. It’s time to speak unfiltered. She deserves that. “The truth is, this has always been about Joel. I trusted him, he was my best friend, and in the blink of an eye all that changed at the worst possible time. It was easier to see him as my enemy than to deal with it. What I did in the Corps took everything I had. Being a sniper is hard on the sanest person. So you have to put the outside world in a box. It was a bad habit I carried with me after my release.”
“Shooter,” she whispered.
“No, I don’t want your pity. I want be honest. I refuse to let anything come between us, Juliette.”
“What happened last night?” She sat up.
“I did what you suggested. I spoke with him, let go of the past.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Why now?”
He offered the black and silver cup to her and she took it with a small smile of thanks. Grabbing the brown paper bag off the dresser he shook it playfully. “Because I want to move forward with you. There’s no room for bullshit from the past weighing us down. I never want you to doubt me.” He looked away.
She opened the bag. “You got me beignets?”
“From your favorite coffee shop.” His hands grew clammy. Blood rushed in his ears. Fuck I’m lightheaded. “I will always do whatever it takes to make you happy.” His hand shook and he reached in his pocket. “If you say yes I promise I’ll bring you tea and sugary-ass breakfast pastries after every fight.”
“Shooter?”
He opened the black case to reveal the two-karat princess cut diamond Joey had helped him pick out. “When I said you were mine I meant that shit forever. Not only are you my heart, you have mine. I never thought I’d fully trust someone again, but you crept in under my radar and changed everything.” He laughed, thinking of the progress they’d made over the past seven months. “I’m not going to be completely satisfied until you’re wearing my ring, sharing my last name, and one day, growing my baby.”
“I didn’t expect this.” She covered her mouth with her hands.
“Baby, the only thing I want to hear come out of your mouth right now is ‘yes’.” Nerves flared. Did I misread her?
“Oh my god, yes! Of course yes!”
He breathed a sigh of relief and slipped his ring on her finger. “I’m not a patient man, baby. You have six months to plan this shit and we’re walking down the aisle.”
“You know I love it when you take control.”
“Eat your breakfast, so we can celebrate properly.”
She brought the powdery dessert to her lips and he moaned.
His phone buzzed in his pocket. “Son of a bitch.”
He dug it out and put it to his ear. “Hello.”
“I hate to call you this early, but I just found out our boy Peter got taken out in jail,” Moose said.
“What?” Juliette glanced up and he held up a finger.
“What the fuck happened?”
“You know the drill, no one saw anything. Someone didn’t want him to talk. All his transactions and client lists have been wiped.”
Shooter whistled. “I want to be happy about this, but I don’t think this is over.”
“No, but your girl should be safe at least. That’s something,” Moose said.
“That’s everything man. Thanks for the heads-up.” He disconnected and turned to Juliette. “We got an early wedding present. Stant’s dead.”
“What, how?”
Shooter shook his head. “Someone in jail, whoever he’s in bed with, doesn’t want anything getting out.”
“Is it over?” she whispered.
He took the bag and the mug from her hand and set them on the night stand. “It is for you, baby. You’re finally free.” She pulled back. “But what ab—”
“No baby, right now is for us.”
He leaned over and captured her lips. The sweetness of her mouth and the unexpected gift of threat removal brought him peace. He couldn’t protect what the future held, and they still had a lot to work out, but he knew who’d be beside him, and for now that was enough.
About Shyla Colt
Told once “You have to be an author, then your craziness becomes eccentric”, Shyla Colt has always been in love with the written word and possessed a desire to write. Named after Super Girl in the comics, she often mistakes her mortality for super hero status. So she holds many hats; Mother, Marine Wife and writer are her top three. Writing allows her to explore new venues, face her demons, and touch others. A huge practitioner of paying it forward and putting in what you want to get out, she hopes to inspire, enlighten, move and entertain you with her work. Mixing humor, drama and strong women, often with a paranormal element, she continues to soldier ahead in the writing field from her SoCal home. One of her favorite things is talking to fans. If you’d like to learn more or just drop a line, please check out her website.
Shyla welcomes comments from readers. You can find her website and email addresses on her author bio page at www.ellorascave.com.
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Biker’s Librarian
ISBN 9781419991561
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Biker’s Librarian Copyright © 2015 Shyla Colt
Edited by Elizabeth London
Cover design by Dar Albert
Cover photography by ekhphoto, Vitaly Krivosheev, dmitriynaboka
Electronic book publication January 2015
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