“I’ll attend to your packing at once. Will you be taking the Mail?”
He smiled a rueful grin at her ready acceptance of his decision. “You must think me mad, Miss Carstairs, to be racing off like this. I can’t wait for the Mail. I’ll hire a post chaise in Winchester.”
How could she not respond? He needed her support. Catching some of his enthusiasm, Alice smiled back. “You’ll never manage a portmanteau on the bay. I’ll set Francis to do your packing and go down to the stables to ready the gig. You’ll need someone to drive you to the posting inn. The groom can’t do it. He’s gone to Winchester already on a commission for Lady Masterman. With luck, you’ll be in London by tonight.”
Sir Edward reached out to take her hand. “You’re very good to me, madam. I must be disrupting your plans. What will you do with Penelope?”
Penelope? Oh, who cared about tiresome Penelope? She’d forgotten all about her. She could think of nothing else but the hand holding hers. Long, powerful fingers dwarfed her own slender ones. His hand was cold from the brisk air outside, but she felt warmth spread along her arm.
He drew back suddenly and dropped his hold. “I beg your pardon. I’m not thinking clearly. I shouldn’t have done that. My mind is on other matters at the moment.”
Alice shook her head to clear away she knew not what. He wasn’t the only one not thinking clearly. “No matter. Er, Penelope. Yes.” She glanced around, but Penelope was nowhere to be seen, having taken advantage of Alice’s preoccupation.
“I fear I must enlist your help, Sir Edward. If you would but tell Lady Masterman that you require my assistance to take you to Winchester, she’ll be obliged to look after Penelope herself.” A spurt of mischief prompted her to add, “Or, of course, you can request that she take you and I remain here.”
His expression spoke volumes. “I thank you, but that’s a treat I must forgo. I don’t wish to be obliged to wait for two hours while her majesty decides on the correct attire for the journey.”
Alice coughed to mask a giggle. She was aware Lavinia’s air of condescension annoyed him, but that he should speak so freely of it surprised her.
“I’ll see to the horse.”
“Thank you. And if you can make it the bay and not Gladiator, so much the better.”
She curtsied, mock solemn. “Indeed yes. We want to reach Winchester today, do we not? But have no fear. The groom has taken Gladiator already, if you remember.”
In the end, Alice was ready to set out before Edward emerged from the book room. She’d harnessed up the bay, brought the gig round to the front of the house and run inside to change her clothes all without seeing him. He held two letters and a purse in his hands when he at last met her in the hall.
“There are a hundred things I should have done, but I think I’ve attended to all the most pressing.” He handed her the purse. “Your wages, ma’am, paid up to the quarter day at a rate I think fitting. Here’s a letter to my bank in Portsmouth, requesting monies to be transferred to Winchester and another authorizing you to draw such sums as are necessary for the household. There’s a third one I left on the console table in the hall. It’s a message for my servant, Harding, who may well arrive tomorrow or the next day. Tell him I desire his presence in town immediately. He’ll know where to find me.”
They were outside by this time. He helped her up into the gig then threw his portmanteau on to the floorboards. “Can you think of anything else I’ve overlooked?”
She looked at him standing there with the wind ruffling his dark hair. She felt like crying and laughing at the same time. Dear, silly man that he was.
“Perhaps your cloak, gloves and hat?”
Edward exclaimed and galloped back inside. He had all the enthusiasm of a young boy. Fancy forgetting his hat! His energy was almost overwhelming, but she had to get his intentions straight in her mind. There could be no misunderstandings.
Within a very few moments he returned, suitably clad for a journey. As the gig lurched down the potholed drive she voiced her concern. “I must get matters clearly understood. You want me to be responsible for the estate while you’re away? You must realize I’ve no experience in such matters. I’m a governess.”
He acknowledged her misgivings. “Yes, I know what you are, but you’ve run this house and dealt with the tenants for months. I’ve every confidence in you, ma’am. I know I can leave my interests more safely in your hands than with anyone else.”
It must have been the cold wind whipping into her eyes as they bowled along. She struggled to wipe away a tear threatening to spill down her face.
“You know nothing about me, or my character.” It was impossible to look directly into his face. Her hands trembled on the reins.
“I beg to differ. I know more than enough about you. I’m a good judge of character, usually.”
She risked a peek to see that he looked straight ahead, giving her no idea of his expression. He added, after a moment or two, “I’ll miss you.”
She swallowed. Words were hard to produce. “As I shall miss you, sir.”
The gig bowled through the ancient West Gate on to Winchester’s High Street in a third of the time it would have taken Gladiator. Alice regretted the speed of their journey. There was so much she should ask him. Did Lavinia know of this plan? What of Scripps? And how would Edward manage without his manservant? He’d had no food since breakfast.
In the bustle of the posting inn her concerns were swept aside. Ignored for the moment as Sir Edward negotiated the hire of the post chaise and team, she cast around in her mind for something useful to do.
When all was settled and he at last turned to look for her, she held a string-tied parcel in her hands.
“Bread, cheese and ham. It’s the best I can do, I’m afraid,” she told him. You’ll have time for a drink when you change, but I know you’ll not want to linger for food.”
Was something wrong? He stood there, holding the parcel, with the strangest look on his face. Had she forgotten herself again and been too forward? She’d only meant to help him.
He shook his head as if clearing his thoughts. “It will do very well, very well indeed. I’m just much struck by your thoughtfulness. In all my years at sea and all my comings and goings, no one has ever done that for me before.”
He smiled down at her. Alice caught her breath. Why did she have to notice how handsome he was? Before she could reply he continued.
“I’m quite unaccustomed to have someone care for my welfare, you know. I thank you, Miss Carstairs. You must think me a boor to be so abandoning you, but I’ve made arrangements with the landlord for one of his boys to drive you home.”
It was her turn to be surprised and touched as well. “Indeed, that wasn’t necessary. I’ll be home well before dark. But I thank you, sir, for your consideration.”
“I insist.” He overrode her objections. “The arrangements are made. I don’t wish to go to the trouble of overturning them now, ma’am. A captain’s whim must be obeyed.”
Of course. He was the captain again, ready for action and adventure. It nearly broke her heart to see him go. Alice touched two fingers to the brim of her bonnet in a passable imitation of a salute. “Yes, sir, whatever you wish.”
He looked stern, but there was a glimmer in his eye as he formally returned her acknowledgement. “The correct response is ‘Aye, aye.’ Now, I must be off.” He seized her hand in a firm grasp. “Take care, Miss Carstairs. I’ll send word as soon as I’m able.”
How the feel of his strong hand lingered. Alice cradled her right hand in her left, touching her palm to her lips as the door slammed. The yellow chaise rattled out of a yard left suddenly cold and empty. She caught a last glimpse of his profile as the postboys turned into the street. No doubt he’d forgotten all about her already in his single-minded resolve to obtain a new commission.
Cloud covered the sun as the wind whipped at her skirt and stung her eyes. Would she ever see him again? What if there was to be another naval engage
ment? A captain was no less mortal than the lowliest powder monkey. Lord Nelson himself had proved that to them all not so very many years ago. Even if he remained perfectly safe he could be away for years, sailing to the Indies, the Americas or even to New South Wales and the Great South Seas. And she? What would she do? She would stand at her schoolroom window and watch the ripening corn on the hillside beyond, wondering and waiting, longing for news that might never come.
She shook her head to clear the dismal thoughts. What was to be done? There were the letters in her reticule and his written instructions. Indeed, there was much to occupy her. Everything must be just as he wished. It wasn’t too early to be thinking of Easter, less than three weeks away. He would miss the horse fair, but that couldn’t be helped. It took no mean intelligence to gather that His Britannic Majesty’s Royal Navy governed every aspect of the Captain’s life.
It wasn’t a happy thought. Alice shivered as the wind’s frosty fingers twitched at her bonnet and bootlaces.
“Aye and me too, unless I am very much mistaken. I fear that dreary duty is all I have to look forward to until the end of my days.”
Chapter Five
Captain Sir Edward Masterman passed the first two stages on his journey to London with his mind in a turmoil. He pondered hard to recollect a time he’d ever been so touched by such a simple gesture as a parcel of food. Had he ever been given a parting gift? Never, if he didn’t count the careless kisses of the dockside women in the countless ports he’d left over the years. They hadn’t been concerned for his welfare, just shoring up trade for the future.
His sister-in-law hadn’t bothered to say goodbye. She’d hardly been able to restrain her delight at getting rid of him. What a callous, self-centered harridan that one was! Not one word in five of what he’d said had got through to her, he was sure. If anything needed doing he would have to rely on Alice’s calm good sense.
Alice. Edward looked at the parcel, still cradled on his lap. Bread and cheese and ham. The thought of the ham made him smile. He’d probably never eat ham again without thinking of her simple delight and gratitude when he’d first brought that ham home. They had been so hungry, living on sheep fodder and charity. Dear, loyal Alice, to have stood by her cousin through thick and thin.
Dear Alice? Miss Carstairs, the governess, he reminded himself. Since when had she become “dear Alice”? When she’d been so concerned about those tiny scratches on his wrist, or even right back on that first night when she’s tried to take a feather off his hair? It was dangerous thinking, to become attached to anyone like that. He was off to sea. Best not to think of leaving someone behind. He’d seen what that did to men, when they had more to live for than the here and the now. It destroyed some of them, not to mention the women they left behind. Alice Carstairs deserved better than he could offer her, always off to the other side of the world at the drop of the hat and the whim of the First Sea Lord.
No, he would never marry. Not until he was old and done with the sea, at any rate. Edward laid the parcel to one side. London and the Admiralty. That’s all he was going to think of now. What ship would they give him? He couldn’t hope for a ship of the line, but even the dispatch boat would do!
* * * * *
Alice strode over to the gig and its waiting groom. Determination replaced her momentary feelings of self-pity. Sir Edward had trusted her to guard his interests and she would not be found wanting.
The trek home dragged. How could it take so long, when the opposite journey had all but flown by? And how much emptier the house felt when she at last arrived. Her footsteps echoed hollowly in the hall.
Lavinia’s peevish voice cut through the silence. “Alice, is that you? Come here at once. You’ve been absent for an age.”
Alice groaned in exasperation as she removed her bonnet and gloves and laid her cloak on the hall table. All she wanted to do was find a quiet hole she could crawl into. The coal cellar would do, or a corner of the attic. Everything had changed, yet how everything remained the same. She raised her voice. “I’m coming, Lavinia. I’ll be with you directly.”
Carrying her reticule with her, she entered the drawing room. A large fire roared in the grate. It was only a small sign of the changes Edward had brought with him, but it symbolized their security.
She hadn’t taken more than a single step into the room before the storm broke. “You must speak to the cook, Alice,” Lavinia demanded. “If she doesn’t mend her ways she’ll have to be turned off. She had the effrontery to disobey my orders not an hour since. I merely requested her to order a turtle and—”
“A what? I beg your pardon, but did you say a turtle?” Alice could hardly believe her ears. What fantastical notion was this? “What in the world can you be thinking of, Lavinia? Cook did very right. Of course she won’t be ordering a turtle.”
“And pray tell me why not? I’ve been too long in seclusion. I plan to have a supper after Easter to reacquaint myself with our society. We might even hold a ball.”
A ball? How ridiculous could she get? “What’s wrong with leaving cards with your friends? That will suffice to let them know you’ll be receiving callers. A turtle supper is quite out of the question. We have no permission to use Sir Edward’s funds in such a way.”
Lavinia jumped to her feet. Her face was filled with scorn and derision. “Don’t be so silly, Alice. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. All we have to do is tell him it’s for the baby’s expenses. He’s so besotted with her and such a simpleton to boot he won’t know nor care how much a baby costs to raise.”
“Oh, no, you’ll do no such thing!” Fury rose in Alice’s throat as she struggled to maintain her composure. Her hands clenched into fists so tight her nails dug into her palms.
“Understand me very clearly, Lavinia. Sir Edward has made me responsible for his affairs while he’s away and there will be no turtles or any such kind of extravagance until he returns. He may order them himself if he so chooses. He has paid me my wages. He has been the soul of generosity and forbearance to all of us and I will not permit you to abuse him in such a manner.
The force of her voice turned her statement into a command. “I will not have it. You’re not even out of mourning yet, although I see you’ve chosen to think otherwise!”
Lavinia’s face turned as crimson as the merino gown she wore. Her lips thinned and her eyes narrowed. She glowered at Alice. “You’ll not have it? You will not permit me to do as I choose? You dare, you actually dare to try and dictate to me? You ungrateful, disloyal…what were you when I took you in, out of the goodness of my heart? A penniless outcast, that’s what, the daughter of a traitor, no less, who sold out his country for money. You dare to turn on me in this insolent manner! You’ll pack your bags and leave at once. You are dismissed from my employ.”
It had come to this, with Edward not even the length of the county away. Alice drew herself up to her full height and spoke as forcefully as she knew how.
“No, Lavinia, I am not dismissed. You are no longer my employer and my instructions are perfectly clear.” She withdrew Edward’s documents from her reticule and showed them to her. “The servants have been informed and know they are to look to me for their instructions and I’m the only one authorized to withdraw monies from the estate account.”
Silence stretched out as Lavinia stared across the room. Alice could feel the heat in her cheeks and sense the rapid beating of her heart. It was a wonder Lavinia could not hear it also. To be defying her like this! Amazed at her own temerity, yet equally determined that Edward shouldn’t be cheated by the likes of this selfish woman, she held her ground and stared back.
Lavinia trembled with pure fury. “You’ve made a very serious mistake, one you’re going to regret. Move aside and let me pass, unless I’m to be a prisoner in my own home?”
Alice sighed as she stepped aside. “Now you’re being ridiculous. You’re no more a prisoner than I am, but you must remember this house belongs to Sir Edward now and not to you. You can
’t just cheat him and—”
Bang! The door slammed. Her final words were uttered to an empty room as Lavinia swept out with her head held high, looking neither to right nor left. Alice sighed again as she moved into the book room to put Edward’s authorities safely into the old oak desk that stood between two window embrasures. She cast a rueful glance at the rows of red, brown and green leather volumes lining the shelves.
“I fear you’re going to be my only congenial companions for quite some time,” she muttered to herself before leaving. She had no delusions about Lavinia giving up the struggle for power. There would be some squalls ahead.
At least she’d get a welcome in the kitchen and perhaps a hot drink and a piece of cook’s excellent gingerbread. Missing Edward more than she thought possible, Alice went to look for a friendly face and some congenial conversation.
* * * * *
Two mornings later, after another whole day fraught with tense silences and outright hostility, Lavinia marched into the book room, obviously ready for a confrontation. Alice looked up from the account books.
Summoning up a smile, she kept her voice light. “Good morning, Lavinia. How are you today?”
Staring down her nose, Lavinia ignored the pleasantries. “I wish to go into Winchester, to purchase a few trifles for Penelope. She’s growing very quickly now and I would like to have a new dress made up for her. I trust you have no objections? I’ll be sure to keep exact account of the expense for you. We wouldn’t want dear Sir Edward to lose a farthing, would we?”
The smile remained fixed where it was, but it took some effort. Alice thought quickly. “Why, of course not, Lavinia. I’ll order the carriage for you. I’ll speak to cook and get her to pop a brick in the range while we are waiting for the message to reach the stables. The wind is very chilly today. Will you be taking Penelope with you?”
“I need no favors—” about to refuse, Lavinia broke off. Her eyebrows drew down a little, considering. “Perhaps that would be a good idea after all. I’ll wait here, as I see the fire is burning nicely.” She crossed to the hearth, holding her hands out to the blaze.
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