Now.
Jo looked up, a bit dizzy from shaking her head but oddly unable to stop doing it, saw that Silver was moving rapidly in her direction. Automatically, she put her hands up to ward him off – as if she ever could – but he just kept coming. Then his hands were on her, on her shoulders and he was staring into her eyes, his own silver gaze fierce and bright with fury.
“What the hell did he do to you?” he growled, that dark and dangerous edge that she knew and secretly loved very, very present. “Tell me now and no bullshit.”
Oddly, his anger didn’t freak her out or take her aback: instead, Jo found herself getting angry too. She briefly wondered if it was a delayed reaction to Brian’s goddamn nerve at showing up and demolishing her hard-won new life, then decided that she didn’t care what had flipped the switch. She welcomed those feelings of rage and frustration – and she turned it them on Silver without a second of hesitation. After all, he’d been an arrogant and mean bastard for months now, and if she was out the door anyway, why not let fly?
“You’ve got eyes, idiot,” she snapped, happy to finally let loose without worry about what consequences to her job tomorrow might bring, because there was no tomorrow anymore. “What does it look like he did to me?”
Silver didn’t even blink at her acrimonious tone as he gestured at her face. “I got what this is, believe me. The asshole laid hands on you and I’m gonna track him down and do the same to him, ten times over. But what I mean is, what else did he do to you? Did he…” He paused with uncharacteristic hesitation, waved vaguely at her rumpled, crumpled clothes. “Did he – touch you? Hurt you? Did he – rape you?”
Suddenly thrown back to all those nights that Brian had forced her, suddenly remembering his hands under her clothes that night, Jo looked away, unable to hold his gaze as she shook her head.
Silver gripped her shoulders in his large hands and forced her back to meet his glare.
“Say it,” he demanded roughly. “Say that he didn’t.”
“He didn’t.” God, she wished that her voice didn’t tremble like that when she spoke. “Happy now?”
He held on more firmly, refusing to set her free. “You lying to me?”
“No.”
“Jolene…” He gave her a bit of a shake to hold her attention, which had the weird effect of fully dropping her back into her body. She felt her injuries for the first time now: the aches in her muscles from the struggling to get away, the pain in her feet from when she’d kicked at him shoeless, the hot ringing numbness of her cheek and ear, the weird puffiness of her upper lip.
“No, he didn’t rape me,” she said clear and strong as she yanked herself away, ignoring the way that her sore body protested at the movement. “Oh, and here’s a tip, Silver, just for the future. Putting your hands on a woman who’s just been beaten on is fucking stupid. It’s also just about the last thing that she needs at the time.”
Right away, he stepped back, hands up and a horrified look on his hard face. “Shit. Sorry. You’re right, that was way out of line. I shouldn’t have – I wasn’t thinking. I just – I wanted to make sure. I needed to make sure.”
She nodded, then sighed as the adrenalin started to wear off and the all-too-familiar drop in energy appeared, mixed with a bit of shock. She knew that she’d been in a ‘fight-or-flight’ response for a few minutes there, and she was now in free-fall emotionally, mentally and physically. Over the years with Brian, she’d learned the hard way that this was the time that she had to push through and do something – anything really – that kept her on her feet, despite wanting nothing more than to lie down and sleep for ten hours. She pushed her hair back with a weary hand and surveyed Silver as he stood in front of her.
“Do you want to sit down now?” he asked, gesturing at the sofa again. “You look really wiped out all of a sudden. Pale, too.”
“For a minute.” Jo didn’t want to stop moving, but her legs weren’t cooperating yet: they were shaking and jelly-like under her. The last thing that she wanted was to go crashing down to floor in front of this guy. “Just a minute. Then I have to go.”
He paused, his eyes narrowing at her words, but he said nothing. He stayed next to her as she walked slowly and unsteadily over the sofa, watched her closely but didn’t touch so much as her elbow. She sank down with another sigh, fought hard against the almost-overwhelming desire to just keep leaning until she was horizontal.
Silver kneeled in front of her, his hands on either side of her, just lightly placed on the very front edge of the sofa. He was keeping his distance, mostly, but Jo was still hyper-aware of his size, his strength.
“So…” His voice was low and soothing. Like she was a frightened animal and he was trying hard to keep her still and calm. “Who was that guy, Jolene? Do you know him?”
“I don’t want to talk about him.”
“You – what?”
“I’m not talking about him with you. Or with anybody.”
“So you do know him,” he said shrewdly. “How?”
“I’m not telling you a single thing about him. Not tonight and not ever.” She moved until she was pressed up against the back of the sofa, her shoulder blades rigid against the unyielding leather. “So give it up.”
“But you’re going to tell Wolf, right?”
“I – what?”
“You’re going to tell Wolf about this asshole.”
“No. And neither are you.”
“Like hell I’m not.” His voice was hard and rough. “I’m getting on the phone in the next thirty seconds, baby, so it’s your damn call if you talk to him or I do. But one way or another, he will know what happened before you walk out of this room, I promise you that.”
“This is none of your damn business. Not Wolf’s either.”
“It sure as hell is, Jolene, so stop thinking we’re not interested or invested. This prick is causing problems on Road Devils property, so that makes it everyone’s business. Wolf and Scars and every guy in the club will see it that way, so save your breath.”
She regarded him, saw that he was deadly serious. She shrugged internally, because of course it didn’t matter if Silver told Wolf anything – Jo was out the goddamn door and all her terrors about having to keep her secrets hidden away were gone, just dissipated like a morning dew in the hot sun. Who cared if Silver told anyone anything, even the truly formidable and terrifying Wolf Connor? Jo was already a memory around here… they just didn’t know it yet.
Well. Time to enlighten Silver, anyway. Why the hell not?
“OK, then,” she said with supreme indifference. “I quit.”
“You – what?” He stared at her with such over-the-top shock that even in this horrible, horrible moment, Jo almost giggled. His face was like a cartoon, all dramatically raised eyebrows and ridiculously-square jaw hanging to the floor. “You what?”
“You heard me.” She got back to her feet now, still a bit unsteady but not about to stick around one second longer. “I’ll send Wolf an e-mail on my way out of town but that’s cool,’cause by this time tomorrow, he won’t give a shit. Take it easy, Silver.”
“OK, whoa.” He got to his feet too. “Stop, baby.”
“OK, first of all, screw you and not in the fun way.” Her eyes were blazing at him, she just knew it. “Second, don’t you ‘baby’ me. And third, don’t tell me what to do, not ever. You never had the right, and especially not the way you’ve been acting since I set foot in this office.”
“Jolene –”
“No,” she cut him off. “No. I needed this job, Silver, needed it more than you’ll ever really know. I was starting my whole life over again and I was fighting like hell to to build something safe and secure – and I need a steady paycheck for that. But I am done dealing with arrogant jerks who think that they get to treat me however they want just because they have dicks, and if that means cutting my losse
s and starting all over again, then that’s what I’ll do.”
“Hey –”
“Shut up,” she lashed at him. “From the second you laid eyes on me here in this room, you’ve slut-shamed me and treated me like I’m nothing more than a pathetic piece of ass. And I’m not a slut…not even close. I was a virgin until I was twenty-six, and I’ve been with exactly three men in my thirty-five years on earth, you being the last one. But even if I’d been with a thousand guys, you still have no right to treat me like a cheap whore, like I’ve done anything wrong by being with you. We were both there, it was consensual, we both enjoyed it.”
He stared at her, dumbfounded at her towering rage, but stayed quiet.
“Yeah, we had one night together and pretty much all we did was have sex,” she snapped. “So what? I needed it at the time. I needed to – to feel sexy and desired. Safe.” To Silver’s surprise, tears were brimming in her eyes and her next words broke a bit. “You gave me one night, Silver, gave me all the things that I so badly needed after all those years with the most twisted, disgusting man I’ve ever known and ever will know. The man who hurt me in ways that I still can’t bear to think about, and who I escaped from in barely one piece.” She took a deep breath. “In so many ways, that one stolen night with you was the best night of my life… it was a – a beautiful memory, and I’ve called on it so many times over the past couple of months when I needed something good to hold onto, to give me some faith and strength.” Her face and voice changed now, they both went back to being hard and cold. “And all you’ve done since that night is trash it to shit every chance that you get.”
“I –”
“I just don’t get it, you know.” She shook her head. “In the bedroom, you’re so generous and giving. Passionate and rough, but still gentle and almost sweet. But outside the bedroom, in your day-to-day life? You’re a selfish, sexist narcissist with a cruel and abusive streak, and I can’t keep fighting you. I’ve fought to look past the jerk that you really are, fought to remember the person that you were that night – I’ve fought so hard to look past Silver and see Zeke. I’ve tried with everything that I have to keep the almost-magic of that night, but you’ve taken it from me one small piece at a time. Just chipped away at it, with every insult and cruel look and sneer… and now you’ve left me with nothing good to hold on to.” The tears were back now, shimmering on her long lashes, and she brushed them away impatiently. “So you win. I quit. I’m leaving. You’ve destroyed the memory of the one sweetness that I’ve known in years, and now you’ve gotten what you wanted: the utter destruction of my livelihood and my whole new life.” She spun on her heels, started for the door. “Congratulations. You must be so proud.”
And just like that, in a single heartbeat, everything completely changed for him; suddenly he felt nothing but deep disgust for himself, for everything that he’d said and done to this woman. She deserved none of it and in a weirdly worse way, she understood none of it.
In this moment, seeing her damaged and unbowed and defiant in this way, it was like a mirror was held up to his face and he suddenly got it: she was an innocent victim of whatever the hell that asshole guy had just done to her, of what her ex had done to her, and of what Silver had done to her. No, Silver had never raised his hand to her, never marked her – but he’d hurt her all the same.
All that that prick had done tonight was leave a physical manifestation of what Silver had done emotionally and mentally; it was like a shocking and in-his-face audio-visual aid of his own treatment of Jolene. And could he honestly say that he was any better than that guy, just because he hadn’t left a fucking bruise?
Abuse is abuse.
“Jolene, wait.” He spoke urgently, quickly, trying to reach her heart without actually touching her. He was pretty sure that if he so much as rested a pinky finger on her wrist, she’d snap it like a twig. “Please.”
“Drop dead.”
“You’re not quitting.”
Astonished, she turned to look at him again. “Jesus Christ, Silver. You are literally unbelievable. All you’ve done for two months is do everything humanly possible to make me want to quit, and now that I’ve finally done exactly what you want – what? You’ve changed your mind? You trying to give me whiplash?”
“Jolene. I’m sorry.”
That stopped her in her tracks. “Huh?”
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I’ve behaved so incredibly badly. I’ve been a dick.”
“That’s putting it mildly,” she muttered. “You’ve been a massive dick.”
“I know. I do know, I promise you. I’ve been way out of line.”
“Yeah, no argument here.” Jo shrugged with a sense of ‘too little, too late buddy’ and started for the door again. “OK, then. Bye.”
“I won’t tell anyone about what happened here tonight.”
She stopped dead in her flight, stunned once more at this man’s incomprehensible words. “What? Why not?”
“Because you’re going to.”
“Which part of this is confusing you?” she asked. “I just quit. I’m leaving Denver. I’m not going to see any of you guys again after I leave this room, let alone talk to any of you – so why the actual hell would I tell anyone anything about Brian finding me?”
As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she wanted to grab them and ram them back in hard enough to choke on. Shit. Now she’d gone and done it by admitting that she knew his name: one tentative look up at Silver’s face told her so, most definitely.
“Brian?” he said, that dangerous verbal edge showing her that he wasn’t about to tolerate any evasion or denial by her. “Is Brian your ex?”
“Erm,” she faltered, her eyes now fixed firmly on his boots. “Yes.”
“The ex who cheated on you?”
She nodded, still refusing to meet his glower.
“The ex that you moved states to get away from?” He paused, studying her downturned face, recalling her words of just two minutes earlier. “The twisted, disgusting man who did things to you that you can’t stand to think about?”
“Silver, please…”
“So this isn’t the first time that he’s left you bruised and beaten, is it? He was probably cheating on you but this is why you really left him, because he used to do this all the time. Because he did worse.”
Jo shut her eyes to stop herself from facing the truth, then opened them again when she felt his fingers on her face, so gentle it almost made her want to cry.
“I’m right, aren’t I?” Silver asked her, his voice was quiet, so quiet that it was barely above a breath. “You left because he hurt you.”
“I – yes. You’re right. Kind of. Partly.” Jo bit her lip, winced a bit as she registered the pain there. “The truth is that if you hadn’t come into The Garage when you did, if he hadn’t heard the door opening…” Her words trailed off. “He was – he was just getting started. You’d have had my lifeless body to discover on this floor in the morning.”
“Fucker,” Silver snarled, his face fierce but his touch still tender on her skin. “Tell me where he is, Jolene. Right now.”
“I don’t know. He showed up here tonight, without any warning at all. I swear that I had no heads-up from anyone or in any way – no weird e-mails, no seeing anyone following me, not even a call where the person at the other end hung up. Nothing. Exactly one person in the world knows where I am, and that’s the lawyer handling my divorce, and there’s no way that Millicent would ever breathe a word to Brian. She’d absolutely die first. So tonight he just – he just appeared like something out of one of my nightmares.” She took a shuddering breath. “Now I have to leave Denver. I can’t stay here one day longer.”
“Are you insane?” he exclaimed. “Denver is exactly where you need to stay.”
“He knows where I work!” Her voice rose as the panic started to get the better of her at l
ast. “He undoubtedly knows where I live! He’s probably been watching and following me for days, Silver. I can’t even go home because there’s a good chance that he’s waiting for me there. You get me? I have to – I need to run. Again.”
“That’s the last thing that you need to do,” he said. “Baby, don’t you know yet what me and the boys can do to help you?”
She blinked up at him. “You and the boys?”
“C’mon, Jolene. You’re an intelligent woman, and you’ve been here a few months and talked to people. You know the score about the club and the kind of shit we used to be into. I told you a bit about The Highwaymen, so you’ve had a clue for a good long while what MC’s get up to when they flout the law. You know what we’ve been capable of in the past, and you know that that kind of savagery just goes into hibernation. It never really dies or leaves a man.”
Jo nodded again. Of course she knew.
“Right now, you’re surrounded by a group of guys who can help you more than the cops, and sure as hell more than you can out there on your own. You have no idea how Brian found you this time, which means that he can find you again the same way if you run. You really want to take that chance? Because the next place you end up, the next time he shows up at your door, I can abso-fuckin-lutely guarantee you that you won’t have a bunch of hardcore bikers at your beck and call, all ready and eager to protect you.”
“I – protect me?”
“Yeah, angel. Protect you.” His eyes flashed warm and silver as he finally let his soft side out a bit. “We can keep you safe. We will.”
“But –”
“No ‘buts’, Jolene. Not a one, you hear me? Now…” He stroked her hair carefully, watched her body tense and then relax. “First things first. You need a new place to live.”
“But where?” she asked hopelessly. “A hotel? I can’t really afford to stay in one for weeks while I find an apartment, but I can make do…”
“No hotel. My place.”
“Oh,” she began, clearly alarmed. “Oh, no, I can’t –”
The Devil's Silver (The Road Devils MC Book 2) Page 22
