“I don’t have PTSD, Frank. I’m just a little out of it. My parents died. I just need some time,” Sam said, trying to deflect the accusation.
“Yeah, they did, right in front of you. Then, it was your father that tried to kill you. You were terrified. A week before that, you lost your husband to cannibals, right in front of you. This can’t be healed with just time. You have to talk about it. Let us help you.”
He knew he was being harsh but he had to make her understand how serious the events were.
“I just… I’m not used to talking about my feelings. I’m not comfortable with doing that,” she admitted. Tears rolled down her cheeks.
“I don’t think anyone would be comfortable with talking about something like this. If you don’t, it will only get worse. I don’t think your dad saved your life just so what happened could drive you insane.”
She started to sob. She knew he was right. She did need to talk about it. She just didn’t know how. Anna put her hand on Sam’s.
“Hey. It’s ok. Take your time. We’re not going anywhere,” she said.
Sam looked at her. “I just don’t know where to start.”
“That’s ok. There is no one better to talk to here than Frank. He knows what you’re going through. If anyone can help, it’s him.”
She looked at Frank. “You know what I’m going through?”
Frank explained his history about his mother, the hard times in the army, everything.
“So how did you get through all that?”
He hesitated and looked at Anna.
‘She deserves to know,’ he thought.
He looked back to Sam. “I spent 15 years going through what you are going through now, five of which I spent in a bottle… When I wasn’t on a mission, I was trashed. I wouldn’t open up to anyone. I dealt with my nightmares by getting black out drunk. I even gave serious thought about taking my own life to end my pain…”
Anna looked at Frank, and she could feel tears flowing down her cheeks as well. She never heard this. Even when he talked about his mom and the horrors that he’d seen, he never talked about how weak he had gotten.
“So how did you get better?” she asked.
“Well, that was my wake up call. I finally went to see a counselor about a month before I met Anna. I talked about everything. It hurt, a lot, at first. The more I talked about it, the less it hurt. It could be the same story with you. If you can open up, it will start to get better. It may not seem so at first but it will.”
“…They made me watch…”
Anna looked at her. “They…made you watch?”
“When they killed Derek and…” she started sobbing again. She leaned forward crying her eyes out. “They made me watch!”
Anna began cursing to herself in Hebrew.
“Jesus…” Frank said.
This was much worse than he thought. He leaned forward and hugged her. He looked at Anna. She was crying as well. Sam spent another five minutes crying into his shirt.
Frank heard a cracking of twigs and leaves in the distance behind him. He gently pushed Sam away and motioned for them to be quiet. He turned around and took out his flashlight and his knife. He shined his light to the wood line just in time to see a single Biter clearing the trees. It shuffled closer to them, its entrails dragged the ground as it moved. He heard Sam gasp behind him. Anna put her hand over Sam’s mouth to keep her quiet. He quickly moved in to his target going directly for the kill. The Biter reached out for him, its mouth wide open and drooling. Frank deflected the Biters arms, shifting to the right and driving his knife into the side of the Biter’s skull. The Biter went limp and fell to the ground. He turned his attention back to the wood line. As he approached, he listened for any more noise. He entered the woods, scanning the area for more threats. He saw none. Satisfied that they were safe once again, he turned and walked back to the fallen Biter. He reached down and cleaned his blade off on what was left of the Biters shirt and put his light and knife away. He walked back over to Sam and Anna.
“I hate being rudely interrupted,” Frank said.
“How do you do this, Frank? You’re always so confident and calm, even when you’re getting beat on,” Sam asked.
“I was brought up like this. It’s in my blood. Believe me, I’ve been to my breaking point. Anna’s gotten a glimpse of it.”
“Yeah... It wasn’t pretty,” Anna said.
“I wish that I could be strong like you guys, instead of this blubbering mess,” she said as she wiped her nose again.
“I’m pretty sure you’re stronger than you think. The things you’ve been through… Most people would not have made it. Don’t sell yourself short.”
Sam breathed deep and sighed, regaining her composure.
“I guess you’re right. I don’t feel that way, though.”
“I wouldn’t think so. It’s all about your state of mind. Anyone in your position would be feeling crappy about themselves. You’ve been knocked down so many times, but your still standing. I think that’s a pretty big achievement by itself.”
“Yeah. I guess it is.”
“So how is Dorothy dealing with all of this,” Frank asked.
“Better than me. I don’t think she really understands what’s been going on. Not really sure if I understand it myself.”
“I don’t think any of us really do. All we can do is survive at this point,” he said.
“That can’t be it. There has to be something that we can do to stop all of this.”
“If there is, it is way above my IQ level. I do have a theory though.”
“What’s that…?” Sam said. Even Anna was curious.
“Well, the Biters are dead, right?”
“Yeah,” Sam and Anna said in unison.
“Well, they’re basically walking, decaying bodies. Sooner or later those bodies are going to fall apart.”
He pointed to the Biter that he just took down. “Take this poor bastard for instance. He is decayed so far that he could barely walk around. It’s my hope that they will decay completely and not be a threat anymore,” Frank reasoned.
The two of them thought about it. It was sound logic.
“That’s actually not a bad theory,” Anna said.
“Why does everyone say ‘actually’ when I come up with a good idea,” he asked, jokingly.
The two women laughed.
“So, the plan is to wait them out and hope they will fall apart,” Sam asked.
“That’s pretty much all we can do besides killing the ones we come across,” Frank said.
“Ok. I think I feel a bit better about that. I hadn’t thought about it like that,” she said.
“Good. How are you feeling about everything else,” Frank asked.
“It hurts but you’re right. I need to talk about it more. I’m going to try and go back to bed, though. Can I talk to you more, maybe tomorrow?”
“Of course you can. Anytime you need to talk. I’m taking Craig shooting tomorrow. Want to go? It’ll help take some frustrations out,” Frank said.
Sam thought about it. “Yeah. That sounds like fun. I’ve never shot a gun before.”
“That’s a good thing. Means I don’t need to break bad habits.”
“Ok. I’m going to go to bed. Good night,” Sam said.
She got up and started to head in side.
“Good night, Sam,” Anna said.
“Sam,” Frank called out.
Sam turned around.
“I do mean it. Anytime you need to talk, I don’t care what time it is, come find me. Ok?”
Sam smiled at him. “Thank you, Frank.” She walked back inside.
Anna smiled at Frank. “See what I mean?”
Frank looked at her with a confused look. “What?”
“You hold us together. Not one of us would have been able to sympathize with her or even be able to help her at all.”
“Thank you. I try my best.”
She leaned toward him and kissed him. “I kn
ow you do. All that being said, I do worry about you. There really isn’t anyone besides me that you can go to with your problems.”
“I think helping Sam, will help me too.”
“You mean like a mutual therapy? You both talk about your problems.”
“Yeah. Something like that.”
After Frank had awoke for the day, he was in the basement doing a quick inventory before their day of shooting. Craig came downstairs.
“Hey, Frank. Need any help,” Craig asked.
“Sure. Just doing an inventory check to see what we can spare for today. It’s looking pretty good,” Frank said.
“Cool. Sam said that she’s going with us. We should have a good time,” Craig said.
Frank smiled. He hoped that she wouldn’t flake out on him.
“Good. We will take two boxes of ammo and a couple of AR15s. Want to help me get all that together?”
“Sure. Does it matter which rifles,” he asked.
“I’ve got two labeled already over there,” Frank said as he pointed to ones he already set aside.
Craig grabbed the rifles and their eye and ear protection and headed back upstairs. Frank put on his molly vest with his spare ammo, grabbed his rifle and the ammo bag, and went upstairs. He went into the kitchen and was met by Steve, Anna, and Tommy.
“You guys off then,” Steve asked.
“Yeah. Hold down the fort while we’re gone. I have my radio,” he said.
“Will do,” Tommy said.
“Be safe,” Anna said then kissed him.
“I will. See you in a bit,” Frank said.
Once they got to their makeshift range, Frank set up their targets on the trees.
“Ok guys. Let’s go over the basics,” Frank took a fold up table out of the van and sat Craig’s weapon on it. He went over disassembly, function checks, and then went over weapons safety.
“Ok. On your rifles, you’ll see the optical sights I have attached for you. These are much more useful than the iron sights.”
Sam raised her hand. “Sorry. What are iron sights?”
“Good question. You see the small mount behind the sight. Flip that up.”
Sam flipped up the rear sight. Frank pointed to the forward and rear sights.
“These are the iron sights. These come as a stock part for these rifles. Some people prefer these over optics.”
“Why is that,” Craig asked.
“You can’t use your peripheral vision when looking into the optics nearly as well.”
Craig nodded. “That makes sense.”
Frank explained more safety concerns and the proper way to fire the weapon. Once he was satisfied about their safety he had them approach the firing line.
“Ok. Three rounds only, at your pace. This is for accuracy to adjust the sights. You can fire when ready.”
Craig fired his first round, then his second and finished his last round. Sam was hesitating. Frank approached Sam and put his hand on her shoulder.
“Are you ok,” he asked.
“I guess I’m a bit intimidated…” she admitted.
“I promise, there’s nothing to be scared of when you’re on this side of the weapon. Even the kick is like being hit by a toddler. Just pull it in tight to your shoulder and gently squeeze the trigger,” he whispered.
She jerked the trigger in hesitation and missed the entire target. Frank noticed.
“Good. That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“No. Loud but I thought it would hurt. It doesn’t.”
Frank had her drop her magazine and he added an additional round.
“Ok. Let’s try again. This time, squeeze the trigger and keep your eyes open on the target. Try not to jerk.”
“Ok. Here goes,” she said then looked into the sights.
She tried her best to gently squeeze the trigger. Frank watched closely as the weapon fired. She kept her eyes open and he only noticed a slight twitch. A drastic improvement. The round hit the target.
“Very good. Now try to hit that exact same spot with the rest of your rounds,” Frank said with encouragement in his voice. She fired the remaining rounds.
She lowered the rifle and looked at Frank with a smile. “Yeah. This is fun.”
“Glad you’re enjoying yourself. Drop your mags and let’s clear the chambers.”
Frank inspected both weapons to ensure they were cleared. “Ok. Let’s go check your targets.”
They walked down and was surprised they both looked pretty good. Frank held out a quarter.
“This is the size of the grouping of your hits that I’m looking for,” Frank said.
He held you the quarter to the hits on the targets. Both were barely within the tolerances. He had only seen someone get a grouping this good during their first time shooting a few times. To have two shooters get the same results was incredible.
“You guys are both naturals. Now we just need to get your scopes adjusted and we will get to the fun part,” Frank said.
He studied the targets and made the adjustments to the scopes and had them repeat the exercise until their aims were perfect. Later in the day, the group was packing everything away in the van.
“Did you guys have fun,” Frank asked.
“Tons of fun,” Craig said.
“Sam,” Frank inquired.
“This was definitely fun, Frank. Thank you,” she said.
Frank noticed that she looked better than she had in the past couple of days. She seemed that she was finally in a good mood. He hoped it would last.
When they returned, Jim and Tommy were getting out of the suburban in their hunting gear. Frank got out and called out to them.
“You guys get anything good?”
“Got a rabbit. No deer, sadly,” Jim said.
“Hey, that means that Natalie can work her magic so it is better than nothing,” Frank said.
After all the gear had been put away, the sun had already set. Frank was sitting on the porch when Sam sat down next to him. She held out a water to him.
“Water?”
“Sure. Thank you,” He took the water and drank about one quarter of it. “So how are we feeling today?”
“I’m feeling…not bad.”
“Sounds like an improvement.”
“It is. I know that I’m still not ok but, yeah, I’m getting better.”
“Would you like to talk?”
“I… This is so weird. I’ve never really went to a counselor or anything like that. I don’t really know how.”
“Well, I know you don’t really want to either but we need to. I think it would be better if I ask specific questions. We can start from the beginning. Where were you when the apocalypse first started?”
Sam thought for a moment. “I was waitressing when I first saw a Biter. I was just ending my shift when one of them crashed through the door and started attacking people. I was so scared. I bolted out of the back door and tried to call Derek but I couldn’t get a line out on my cell phone. I knew that he was off work already and should be at home with Dorothy so I got in my car and left.”
Frank saw that she was breaking down. Her chin started to quiver, her voice cracked, tears flowed down her cheeks.
“On my way home, people were everywhere. Biters were attacking people in the streets. People were running all over the place. Cars were blocking the way. I remember grinding my bumper on the sidewalk to get around an overturned car. I had never been so scared in my life. When I got home, Derek and Dorothy were not there. I freaked out. I thought that the Biters had got them on their way home from my parent’s house. I wasn’t thinking rationally. I didn’t think that my husband would leave her there so he wouldn’t have to take her out into this mess. I was a crippled mess, crying like an idiot. I heard the door open. I figured it was a Biter, coming to get me. My husband came into the kitchen to find me on the floor crying. I had never been so happy to see him. He left my parent’s house to come and find me.”
“Brave man. He must have really l
oved you,” Frank said.
“He was. He always tried to protect me,” she said.
“So tell me a little bit about how up ended up with the cannibals.”
She hesitated. “Well… Derek was leaving to go get some supplies. Dorothy and I were outside seeing him off when they drove up and took us at gun point. They threw us in the suburban and drove us to the farm. They threw Dorothy and me into the cage and made Derek strip off his clothes. They strung him up like they did with you then… they shot him in the head. The guy that you were making fun of came over to me and told me that I had to watch. He said that he was going to kill Dorothy next if I didn’t.”
“Jesus…” Frank said. He took a napkin out of his pocket and handed it to her.
“They cut him up like an animal. Like he was just a piece of meat. They gut him first, then they started to take off his legs. That was when you started killing them. I watched them die. I was so glad, even if it meant they couldn’t eat him. I watched you gun them down, one after another. It was as if Derek was getting his vengeance. I was so angry that I couldn’t be the one to do it but I was happy that they were dying. Does that make me a bad person?”
“I would say that was a healthy response after what they did to you.”
“After they knocked you out. They strung you up. I thought the horror was going to start again. When you started to screw with them, I knew something was going to happen. I started to become calmer. I thought you had something up your sleeve. Little did I know that you were just trying to buy us time. That, and you’re crazy.”
“I have been told that, yes,” Frank said. She giggled.
“After you killed them, I wasn’t sure that I could trust you guys. I was so scared that you would hurt us too. I’m so glad that I was wrong. It was a crappy happy ending but it was finally over, at least for a few days.”
“Then a new nightmare started, right,” Frank asked, trying to coax more out of her.
“Yeah. We heard something walk up onto the porch. I don’t know why Mom opened the door but when she did, the Biter came through and started biting her, tearing at her throat.”
She instinctually grabbed at her throat, uncomfortably.
“Dad came into the room and tackled the thing and it bit him in the chest. He wrestled with it for a while all the way to the back room. I heard a glass break and all the commotion stopped. He came back into the front room. He said that he was already feeling it inside of him. He dragged us into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. I was crying hysterically at this point. He kept telling me not to cry, that he was going to be with mom. He was so calm about it. He told me to tell you that he was sorry. We should have gone with you in the beginning. That he was sorry that he had to put me through it. That was when he started to bang on the door. About a minute later, I could hear Anna call out to me. She shot my dad before he could get to us.”
Life In Death (Book 1): Surviving Death (The Struggle) Page 21
