by Jet Mykles
“God.” Lance dropped to his elbow, letting his head fall forward so his forehead rested to the left of Gordon’s sternum. “You feel so damn good.”
“Mmm.” Gordon wrapped one leg around his waist and continued to push steadily.
They both groaned in mingled relief and agony when Lance was fully seated inside Gordon’s body.
“Jesus.” Lance fought the urge to rut, wanting to give Gordon time to adjust. He knew his size wasn’t that comfortable for some lovers.
Gordon twined his fingers in the length of Lance’s hair and used it to tip his face up for a kiss. “Fuck me now,” he demanded harshly as he jerked his hips. “Give me all you got.”
Lance’d had boys wailing in pleasure, clutching the sheets in bliss, and he’d had quiet boys who pretended to be okay when they were really in pain. He’d become accustomed to differing reactions and thought he knew when to slow down or stop. Only now did he truly appreciate the direct kind of man Gordon was. When he started to thrust, Gordon pushed back, very nearly topping from beneath. It drove Lance wild, prompted him to push and shove while Gordon bit his lips. Lance managed enough sanity to brace on one arm and reach down to pull on Gordon’s cock, which tore a gasp and religious testimonial from the other man. They struggled together, sweat building up to lube bare skin on bare skin. Lance’s absurd pride when Gordon shouted and came was burst when animal instinct took over to throw his hips out of rhythm just before the ether exploded into a million burning sparks that chased down his spine to explode out his shaft.
He collapsed on Gordon’s broad chest, heaving in breaths and sure he was going to die. Not that he minded. If he had to go, that was one hell of a final moment. But God decided to let him live and didn’t explode his lungs, and he eventually began to breathe normally again. He was gratified to find Gordon in a similar state.
“Oh fuck.” Gordon lifted a shaky hand to rub at his forehead.
Lance realized he was probably heavy and pushed up on his elbows.
Gordon’s face, neck, and chest shone with sweat, and his lips were swollen and bruised from kissing. “They were sure right about you.”
“Who are they?”
Gordon wore the most free and satisfied grin Lance had ever seen on him. “I’ve managed to talk to a few of your previous lovers.”
Mildly disturbed by that, Lance flopped over onto his back. “Yeah, well, now you can add to my legend.”
“I don’t fuck and tell.”
“Me neither.”
A beat. Two. “Maybe we should keep this quiet,” Gordon suggested to the ceiling.
“Okay.” Yeah, but… “But Noble will know.”
“Of course.” Didn’t seem to bother Gordon. “But maybe Shelby shouldn’t.”
“I can go with that.”
They lay side by side for a few companionable moments.
“So…” Lance’s mind raced as sanity began to return. “This was a good idea.”
Gordon laughed. “You think so?”
Odd reaction. Needing to see Gordon’s face, Lance rolled to his side and propped his head on his hand. “You don’t?”
At first, Gordon kept his eyes shut. Lance wanted to lick at the tiny smile that curled the corners of his mouth. In fact, Lance wanted to lick at the dark stubble covering Gordon’s strong jaw, at the sweat beaded at the bend of neck to shoulder, at the tiny pebble of a nipple exposed by the dearth of chest hair. Fully satisfied by the sex they’d just had, Lance was astonished at the strength of his desire to snuggle into the other man.
Slowly, as his eyes opened, Gordon turned his head so he could look at Lance. “So…you’re offering to keep me satisfied until I find someone else?”
Lance ignored the twinge at the someone else. “Yes.”
“What about your cute young things?”
Lance shrugged. “Neither of us needs to give anything up.”
“Ah.” Gordon’s gaze slid down his neck to his chest. “Right.”
“I make a terrible boyfriend.” Lance had used the line many times before, but it had never felt so flat.
Surprise brought Gordon’s gaze back to Lance’s.
He forced a big, happy grin. “I make a much better friend. With benefits.”
Gordon smiled for him. “Yeah, well, the benefits are pretty good.”
Lance gave in to the desire to lean closer. He placed his tongue at one side of Gordon’s nipple, then swirled it around and over until he could suck the small, hard nub between his teeth. Gordon liked it, spearing his hand through Lance’s hair to hold him close.
Grinning, Lance lifted his head to look up at his new lover. “Want to go again?”
The answering grin matched his. “Absolutely.”
Chapter Thirteen
Present, New Year’s Eve
“Hi.” The attractive young man grinned up at Lance.
Feeling good, Lance smiled. “Hi.”
Around them, the New Year’s Eve wedding party was in full swing. The ceremony had already occurred, the happy couple was dancing somewhere out on the floor, and their guests were enjoying the facilities at the Genesis resort. Lance had lost track of his bandmates, but it didn’t matter, because he had a keycard to his own room in the east wing and could duck out anytime he wanted.
The guy stepped farther into Lance’s personal space, brushing the front of his blue silk shirt against Lance’s arm. “I’m Alex.”
Leaning with both arms on the balcony rail above the dance floor, Lance considered him. Dark hair, short and straight, large brown eyes, and a killer smile. His behavior suggested that he was not only gay but wanted to share that information with Lance, who got the message loud and clear even though his gaydar had always been faulty. Hard to miss the suggestive lilt to that smile. Besides, the majority of the men present were either gay or bi-curious.
“I’m Lance.”
“I know.”
“Let me guess—you know Noble?”
“Just met him.”
Lance nodded, smiling. How many times had this kind of setup happened? Practically every time Lance had had sex with a guy, it’d been set up by Noble. Not that he regretted it. Most of the sex had been amazing, more than enough to turn him off sex with women.
Alex laid a hand on top of Lance’s on the railing. “Wanna go someplace and…talk?”
He should. What was the harm? Talking was clearly not Alex’s intention, and he was cute enough to spend time with. So, yeah, Lance gave it some thought. Despite what Noble believed, the urges were still there.
But… He pulled his hand free. “Thanks. But no, thanks.”
Alex blinked at him, confused. Lance couldn’t blame him. All around them, guys were hooking up. Sex was freely available, so much so that each room had come with a box of condoms. “No?”
Lance smiled at him again. “I’d be a waste of your time.”
Wrong answer. Clearly that sounded too much like a challenge, because Alex leaned in to brush a kiss across Lance’s cheek. “Oh, I don’t think so.”
His blood surged. It’d been so long. All of his friends were right to claim that his celibacy wasn’t normal. Wasn’t needed. After all, Gordon didn’t give a shit. But the thought of Gordon effectively quelled Lance’s desire for another man. Like it always did. He smiled sadly. “Yeah. I know it.” He met Alex’s gaze. “Good-bye.”
Lance could almost see his thoughts. First, What? Then, Is he kidding? Then, Holy shit, he’s not. And finally, Well, fuck this. “All right.” Alex backed off with a disbelieving smile. “Your loss.”
As Alex left his side, Lance lifted his drink to his lips. “No doubt.” His drink was all fragile ice chips and water by now, no scotch left. He’d run out of drink tickets and didn’t have cash handy. He’d have to go back to his room to get some. Well, nothing was keeping him down here. He liked to people watch, but he’d seen most of what there was to see. He left the railing and ditched his tumbler on a stray table as he wandered toward the food. He wasn’t really hungry,
but it was a destination. On the way, he passed by a short hall that led to glass double doors, half of which were open onto a deserted veranda. The moonlight hit the panes just right to give them a diamond sparkle, and he let the shiny lure him outside.
The cold hit him immediately, prompting him to pull his wool jacket closed, but it wasn’t cold enough to chase him back inside. The scents of pine and snow mingled, the trees soaring into the air on either side of the covered pavement. Snow lined the path leading from the main building of the resort. It had fallen earlier today but had cleared long before the wedding party had started, giving Luc and Reese a clear, perfect night to pledge themselves. Feeling mellow, Lance leaned against one of the poles that held up the veranda’s cover, and gazed up at the stars, letting his mind go pleasantly numb.
But not for long. He didn’t hear the scuff of footsteps until they stopped beside him on the other side of his pole. He didn’t look to see who it was. Wasn’t Noble—he would have spoken by now. Might be Rabin or Danny, but they’d probably—
“What are you doing out here?”
He jumped, startled to hear Gordon’s voice. Turning his head, he verified that it was, indeed, the man, with his hip propped on the rail so he could face Lance. His black hair was neatly trimmed around his face and neck, and the longer locks on top still obeyed the product that kept them smooth and shiny in a wave, with one peak toward his hairline pointing to the stars. His arms were crossed over his chest, keeping his deep blue jacket closed against the cold.
“Nothing.” Lance’s answer was reflexive. He glanced back toward the door, but they were alone. “What are you doing out here?”
“I saw you wander off.” Gordon cocked his head. “I also saw you turn down a gorgeous young man who was obviously into you.”
Lance blinked, absurdly delighted that Gordon had been watching him. But he didn’t smile. That’d piss Gordon off, judging from the narrow slant to his eyes. “Nah. Noble sent him.”
“Of course he did.” Gordon well knew that Lance was horrible at picking up guys. Except one. He’d done pretty well picking up Gordon once. “Why’d you send him away?”
“Wasn’t interested.”
Gordon’s frown deepened. Didn’t he know that was a good look on him? The scrunch of his brows just reminded Lance of what he looked like when he was about to come. “He was cute,” Gordon said.
Lance choose to contemplate the stars again rather than keep gazing at Gordon. “Yes, he was.”
“Are you waiting for someone else?”
The real answer to that was too obvious and wasn’t what Gordon wanted to hear, so Lance just gave him the immediate answer: “No.”
“Jesus. Is it true? Have you been celibate?”
Lance closed his eyes and smiled at the sky. “Who told you that?”
“Who do you think?”
The smile dropped off his face as he turned his head back toward Gordon. “Noble.”
“Of course.”
That was slightly alarming. Had Noble been drinking too much to watch his tongue? Sure, his friend was outspoken, but he knew to keep certain things to himself. But if he’d had enough to drink… “What did he say?”
“I asked him if you’d seen anyone.” It was Gordon’s turn to look away, studying the bushes on the other side of the railing as he spoke. “And he said there hadn’t been anyone, literally, in the past year.” A small shake of his head and he was comfortable to look back at Lance. “Why would you do that?”
Lance shrugged, calmer now that it seemed Noble hadn’t said much other than the obvious. “It wasn’t a plan or anything.”
“It’s not going to get me back.”
Lance shook his head and said honestly, “I didn’t think it would.”
Gordon watched him, unconvinced. Lance watched him back, intrigued by the fact that he’d acknowledged himself as the reason.
“Why, then?”
“Why?”
“Why haven’t you had sex in a year? That’s unhealthy.”
Lance laughed, responding to the slight smile on Gordon’s lips. “Yeah, it kind of is. But…I don’t know.” He shook his head rather than tell Gordon that each time he got the urge, it was thoughts of Gordon that stopped him.
“Not even women?”
“No. It’s been longer for that.”
“So you’ve just…what?” He gestured toward Lance’s groin. “Does everything still work?”
Lance had to grin. “Yeah. It all works. My right hand can attest to that.”
Gordon granted him a small laugh. “But why? You had a perfect chance back there. I can’t believe you haven’t had other chances. You live with Noble, for God’s sakes. I know he’s throwing dick at you left and right.”
Lance’s grin remained as he contemplated that visual. “I’ve had chances. I just…don’t.”
“You don’t.” Gordon shook his head. His snort sent a plume of white vapor between them. “You are the most mule-headed man I’ve ever met.”
“Probably.”
“There’s no reason for you not to have a normal sex life.”
Lance shifted on the pole so he could more fully face Gordon. Arguing with this man was achingly familiar, and he was enjoying Gordon’s attention, despite the topic. “Why do you care?”
That tripped Gordon up for a few seconds. Then he frowned. “I care. I don’t love you anymore, but I do care about you.”
That stung. Lance let him see that it stung before dropping his gaze to the pavement between them.
“Jesus, Lance.” Gordon took a step to close the distance between them. He was within reach now but still not touching. Lance could smell the tang of his cologne. “What happened between us happened. But it’s not like I don’t get why you did it.”
Lance raised suspicious brows. “You get it.”
“What? Of course I get it. I know you. I know you fucked that boy to get me to back off.”
As much as it hurt, Lance had to look up. This was new information.
“I pushed you. You resented it. You got me back. I get it.” The ice in his gaze cut Lance to the quick. “Doesn’t mean I can forgive it. Doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re a fucking moron for letting me go.”
“Because you don’t do second chances.”
The words might as well have been lead bars clanging on the pavement between them.
“No. I don’t.”
Not much more to say after that. A couple came outside. Arms around each other, the men wandered to the far side of the veranda, murmuring. Behind them, beyond the door, stood someone Lance would rather not have seen. “There’s Leon.”
Gordon glanced in. He held up a finger and tilted his head in silent communication but stayed where he was. Leon nodded, narrowed his eyes a bit at Lance, then ducked back into the party.
“He’s not worried, is he?” Lance kept his tone light. His back was to the couple, but he could hear their quiet voices, feel their presence. He couldn’t help but resent that closeness a little.
“No.” If Gordon even noticed the couple, he didn’t show it. “Why should he be?”
“Does he know about us?”
“I told him. I also told him it was long over.”
“Good thing.”
Without smiling, Gordon eyed him. “Don’t do this to yourself, Lance.”
“Do what?”
“The celibate thing. Go in there, pick up one of those boys, and fuck him into the night.”
Lance raised his eyebrows. “Don’t you mean morning? Night’s almost over.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Yeah.” Openly, he looked his fill of Gordon’s gorgeous face, letting the other man see the longing within him. The longing that made it impossible to do what Gordon suggested. “I don’t think it’s gonna happen.”
Gordon had said it himself—he knew Lance. He saw what Lance was showing him and physically shut it down by taking a step back. “Suit yourself.” He exaggerated a shiver. “It’s fuckin
g cold out here. I’m going back inside.”
“Have fun.”
They shared a look. Then Gordon shook his head, sighed, and headed for the door.
Lance stayed where he was, turning his back to the door as he listened to Gordon’s retreating footsteps. He wondered what Leon would say when Gordon found him. Wondered if Gordon would ease his fears. Wondered if Gordon would take him to their room so they could fuck into the night. Then Lance let those thoughts go and focused on the one important thing that had just happened: Gordon cared. He let that little tidbit fill him with joy.
Chapter Fourteen
Past, April
Noble was kicking Lance’s ass at a shooting video game when Gordon practically slammed in the front door of the guest house. They both jumped as they turned in their seats to see him stalking toward them. Lance, for one, was instantly captivated by the rush of fire in Gordon’s expression, flaring in his eyes. The top length of his hair dangled over his forehead, teasing the arch of one dark brow. He was pissed—so said the crowding of his brows and the slamming of the door—but he contained it with calm.
He stopped behind the couch, eyes on Lance, nostrils flared in patently obvious anger. But not anger that was directed at Lance. “Noble? Do you mind if I borrow your friend?”
“Uh, no.”
Lance was standing, blindly dropping his game controller so he could keep his gaze locked with Gordon’s. The anger was there, but it was clearly not directed at him. No, there was another type of heat that Gordon directed at Lance.
“Good. Because I need him to keep me from killing Shelby.” Gordon spoke calmly enough, his words directed at Noble, but the eye contact with Lance never wavered.
“Oh?” Noble’s tone was light. No doubt he was having fun watching this. “Anything I can do?”
If Lance weren’t thoroughly ensnared, he might have reached out to slap Noble for that. But Lance was already out of arm’s reach, approaching Gordon, lured by that fuck-me-now glare.
“Afraid not.” Gordon took a step back, reaching up to grab the lapels of his overcoat. “I don’t do groups.”
