by Jet Mykles
Noble grinned. “I don’t usually, but I can. And the goodie shop’s less than a mile away.” He shook the keys. “Alternative is for you to go or for us to go together, and…”
He let that hang between them. Foxy eyed him, then nodded. “Okay.”
“Awesome.” Noble stepped closer because he really wanted to kiss the man. “I’ll be right back.”
He’d meant for it to be a quick kiss, but Foxy dropped his arms to trap him. Foxy’s mouth opened over Noble’s, and his magic tongue got involved.
“Shit,” Noble breathed when he finally managed to push away. Or had Foxy released him? “Where did you learn to kiss?”
Foxy graced him with that grin that needed to be outlawed. “Natural talent, I guess.”
“Fuck.” Before Foxy could trap him again, Noble took his wallet and the keys and escaped the house.
* * * *
Noble sat in the parking lot, staring at the graffiti on the brick wall of his local porn shop, unwilling to go in just yet. He thought about the man he’d left in his house, thought about their time together, thought about the phone calls with Lance and Gordon. He was acting strange, and he knew why. He needed to snap out of it, but to do that he had to get rid of Foxy, and just the thought of that tore a hole in his heart. He didn’t want Foxy to go. He wanted Foxy to stay. He wanted that something awful. But what good would it do? They couldn’t hole up in his house forever.
Without answers, and oddly despondent, Noble left the car. He put on a bright grin as he pushed open the painted glass of the door, determined not to show his mood.
“Noble!” The slightly feminine shriek filled the shop as a slim man rushed from behind the main counter to hurtle himself down the dildo aisle toward Noble.
Laughing, Noble caught Dexter in both arms, his mood lifting a little thanks to this reception. Dexter was small and boyishly beautiful, much older than the fifteen he looked. He hugged Noble close, tucking his head into the bend of Noble’s neck to breathe in.
“Oh, it’s been so long! Where have you been?”
“I been over in Europe, sweet thang,” Noble answered, letting his native twang through. He patted Dexter’s firm rump. “You knew that.”
Dexter pushed out to arm’s length, clutching Noble’s shoulders. His pouty little mouth rounded under high-flying eyebrows. “That’s right! Oh my God, how was the tour?”
“It was terrific.” Noble slung an arm around Dexter’s shoulders, walking him toward the counter.
“And now you’re a big star,” Dexter cooed, cuddling close.
“I’ve always been a big star. Just, others are starting to figure it out.”
He was aware there were three women toward the far end of one aisle trying to surreptitiously watch them while fingering bottles of lube. So when Dexter and he reached the counter, he cupped one side of Dexter’s jaw and gave him a hello kiss that was perhaps a tad longer than necessary. The shorter man kissed back with enthusiasm, opening his mouth for further exploration. Noble deepened the kiss but was dismayed at his own lack of reaction. It was nice. Dexter was nice. He’d even fucked Dexter before, in the back room of this very shop. But that wouldn’t be happening today.
Noble drew back, wearing a smile he didn’t feel.
Dexter tried to keep him close. “Want to go out back?”
“No.” He pulled away, caressing Dexter’s smooth jaw. “Not today.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. Thanks. But no.” Noble turned and started walking toward the curious women and the colorful array of lubrications. “I just need some supplies.”
The women looked panicked, but then the bravest of the three grinned at him while her friends blushed and ducked their heads. He smiled at the brave one and waved. “Hey, pretty lady. You find the lube you like?”
That made all three of them titter. The brave one kept grinning. “Not yet. Maybe you could help us?”
“Why, sure.” He picked up what had to be a half-gallon-sized pump dispenser. “This one has always been one of my personal favorites.”
He spent nearly an hour messing with the ladies, thrilled when they gave as good as they got. Turned out they were in Chicago for a conference and had taken the afternoon for themselves. They were clearly fascinated with him as a gay man, then truly fascinated when Dexter informed them Noble was a rock star. All of them had heard of—and loved, of course—Heaven Sent, and two of the three had heard of the Indigo Knights. So then he just had to sign autographs, the best one on a gay-porn magazine. To avoid another invitation from Dexter, he procured his own supplies while chatting with the ladies and paid as they did so he could leave the store with them. They parted ways in the parking lot, and his heart felt much lighter as he got into the rental car.
But it all came back as he drove the short distance home. Foxy was waiting for him, and that both thrilled and upset him. He wanted to be in the man’s arms way too much.
He found Foxy in the living room with his laptop—one of the few things that had been stashed in the backpack that had come with him. The television was tuned to a baseball game, but the sound was muted. Pop rock pumped into the air via the stereo. Noble liked his guests to feel comfortable in his domain, but Foxy damn near looked like he lived there.
“Baseball?” Noble asked, dropping his bag of goodies on a chair.
Foxy was on his feet, coming for him. Noble fancied he could feel the heat of Foxy approaching. “Yeah.” Arms slid around Noble’s waist, yanking him close. Foxy kissed him with disturbing ease, and Noble melted into it with matching familiarity. It was moments before he could force himself to break free.
“I didn’t know you’re a baseball fan,” he said, managing to walk away toward the kitchen.
“I grew up a Padres fan.” The team name meant little to Noble, but he was pretty sure that was a West Coast team. “I don’t get to follow it much anymore.”
Noble opened the refrigerator. “Go ahead and watch the game. You hungry?”
No answer prompted him to glance behind him. Foxy was watching from just inside the arch that led to the living room. “You okay?”
“Yeah. Just hungry.”
“Okay.”
“You?” Noble asked.
“What?”
“Hungry?”
Foxy still wasn’t at ease. Could he really sense Noble’s anxiety? “No.”
“Suit yourself.” Noble faced the refrigerator again, aware when Foxy left the room.
He hummed to himself as he made a sandwich, avoiding the issue at hand. That wasn’t like him. He was a rip-the-Band-Aid-off sort of guy.
With that in mind, when he brought his sandwich and a cola back to the couch, he addressed the problem. “So, you’re going to need to head out of here.” He took a bite while Foxy sat up straight. “I’ve got a band meeting tomorrow.” He kept eating, eyes on the television so Foxy could absorb what he was saying. So it looked like it was no big deal. “And we’re probably going to start getting into crap we need to do for the tour.” Yes, he was aware he was making excuses, giving a valid reason instead of just tossing Foxy out.
“Oh.” Foxy sat forward to pull the open laptop toward him. “Okay.”
Noble squashed the ridiculous urge to apologize. He had nothing to apologize for. He’d made no promises. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Foxy brought up a browser for e-mail, then abandoned it. Sitting back, Foxy picked up his phone and made a brief call. Noble assumed Zach was on the other side of the call when Foxy asked him to make arrangements. “Tomorrow okay?” he asked Noble.
Was it bad that Noble was glad they’d have another night? “Yeah. That’s fine. My meeting’s at six.”
Foxy conveyed the information, then shut off the call. “Zach thinks he can get me on a flight tomorrow.”
“Cool.” On-screen, the batter hit a home run, and Noble cheered.
“You like baseball?” Foxy asked, leaning in close to snag the other half of Noble’s sandwich.
It bo
thered Noble that he didn’t mind the theft. That he liked it. “I don’t follow much, but I know what’s happening. I played for a while in school.”
“You’re kidding.”
“I really was a normal kid. At least on the outside.”
Foxy chuckled, putting the sandwich half back on the plate, minus the huge bite he’d taken. “When did that change?”
“High school.” Noble wiped his mouth. “I finally realized I was gay and wasn’t interested in hiding it. My dad wasn’t keen on the idea.”
“When’d you start playing drums?”
He sighed, staring at the plate. “That’s the one thing my dad and I shared. He played in a band at a honky-tonk on weekends, and he taught me when I was little. We had a whole setup out in the garage, where we wouldn’t bug anyone.”
Foxy’s hand smoothed over his back, the touch warm through his T-shirt.
Noble put down the last two bites of his half of the sandwich, no longer hungry. “I was in high school when I started playing backup for a few bands. That’s where I finally discovered dick.” He’d tried to make the last sentence light, but it didn’t come out that way.
Foxy’s hand found its way underneath the hem of Noble’s shirt, pushing it up. Edging closer, Foxy kissed the back of the shoulder he exposed. “Did you leave?”
“Had to.” Obliging, Noble pulled his arm out of the T-shirt, then tugged it over his head. Foxy’s touch felt too good, and soon he’d be without it. It’d be stupid not to enjoy what was here. “I dropped out of school and ran away to New York.”
“Alone?”
“No. With a guy.” He turned in to Foxy, arms up to pull him close.
“What happened to him?”
“He didn’t last long.” No one ever has. Sinking back onto the couch, he brought Foxy’s weight with him, ending the conversation in favor of more amorous activities.
Chapter Nine
The next morning, Foxy dragged Noble into the shower with him. This after waking him up to sex. This after they’d slept a few hours after having sex. Noble had yet to count, but he was pretty sure he’d had more sex with one person in the past few days than he’d ever had. His body was sore and rejuvenated at the same damn time, and he’d never felt better.
Damn it.
Showering was interesting because even though the town house was state of the art, there was only so much room in the tub. Two guys, both who topped six feet by a few inches, didn’t fit very well. But they managed to jerk each other off around a lot of kissing and laughing, and they even got clean.
Noble stumbled out of the tub soaking wet and dripped on the tiles as he grabbed a towel, then threw one at Foxy. “Well, that was an adventure.”
“Everything with you is an adventure.”
Noble laughed, leaning over to dry his legs. “I aim to please.”
Foxy followed him into the bedroom and scooped up his backpack while Noble rummaged in the dresser. When Noble had stepped into some shorts and turned around, Foxy was still standing there naked, the towel draped over his shoulder. He was watching Noble with a dangerously pensive look on his face.
Noble’s first instinct was to run, but he fought it. “What?”
“I don’t want to leave.”
Trying to ignore the seriousness in Foxy’s eyes, Noble grinned. “Yeah, it’s been fun. But back to work.”
Foxy kept staring at him. “I mean, I don’t want to leave you.”
“I’m pretty irresistible,” Noble said lightly, stroking the bar through his left nipple.
“You’re completely irresistible.” Said with a mournful, puppy-dog look.
The grin was hard to maintain, so Noble rolled his eyes. “Yeah, that’s not melodramatic at all.”
With a sexy little growl, Foxy whipped the towel off his shoulder and threw it onto the mattress. “I’m serious.”
“Don’t be. There’s nothing to get serious about.”
“Yes, there is.” He rounded to face Noble, absolutely splendid in his damp nudity. “I think I’m in love with you.”
Noble froze. Foxy froze. The words were out, and they were stupidly hard to ignore or take back. Noble absolutely ached to accept the words, to say them back. Hearing that confession from Foxy rivaled the sound of any sexy groan or shout he’d made during sex.
What should he do? Laugh it off? Ignore it? Say it back? He cut through the air with his hand. “No.”
“What? I said—”
“I know what you said.” Keeping his tone brutally level, “How do you think what you’re saying would go over with your adoring public?”
Foxy’s eyes squeezed shut. “I don’t care—”
“Right.”
“I don’t.”
“Fuck you. You care. Or you wouldn’t have come to see me in a fucking disguise.”
“Okay, yeah, there are problems but—”
“Problems? Problems!” Anger surged up like someone had lit a fuse. No way Noble could contain it. “How the fuck do you think you can love me in secret? Huh? ’Cause I’m not exactly a secret kind of guy.” He reached up to tug at his faded indigo hair. “I’m a fucking rock star, man. I’m kind of in-your-face obvious, and you’re in the fucking closet!”
Foxy’s jaw clenched, matching his fists. “Okay, yeah, but—”
“But not one goddamned thing.” Again Noble slashed the air, this time adding a flippant hand toss at the end. “It’s been fun. Real fun. And under different circumstances, who knows?” He could say that because he didn’t have to face a reality that didn’t—couldn’t—exist. “But I’m sure as fuck not gonna be your ongoing dirty little secret. I’m not built that way.”
“I’ll come out.” Foxy’s bravado was woefully transparent, fear underlining the determination in those dark eyes.
The laugh that burst from Noble was anything but amused. “Sure you will. That’ll go over real well with the horde of little girls who made you famous.”
“I don’t care—”
“Bullshit! You care. If you didn’t care, you would’ve come out already.”
“It’s not that easy. If I do something like that, they can fucking fine me. I don’t have that kind of money.”
“So what the hell are you saying you’ll come out for?”
Foxy clawed the air, stepping forward to assert himself. “There’s never been a reason before. There’s never been anyone before you. I’ve never fallen for anyone the way I’ve fallen for you.”
Noble only realized he was rubbing his heart when Foxy’s attention dropped to see it. Angrily, he fisted his hand and shoved it down to his side. “Doesn’t change anything. We can’t happen.”
“Why not?” Two more steps in Noble’s direction. “We can work it out—”
Noble sidestepped him. “No. We can’t. You said it yourself—you’ll get fined. Get fired?” Foxy’s snarl affirmed that guess. “And it’s just not worth it.”
“I—”
“No. The last few days have been fun”—now he was repeating himself—“but I won’t do it. It’s not me. I haven’t been out for days. I haven’t seen anyone else. I’m not made like that. I need to be around people, lots of different people, not holed up behind closed doors as someone’s closet fuck.” He glared at Foxy, freezing him in his tracks. “I won’t.”
Foxy swallowed, unclenching his hands. “Okay. I get it. But we—”
“No. No we.”
“I’ll come out. For you.”
Beneath the determination, Noble could plainly see the fear in Foxy’s eyes. “Fuck you. Don’t you do that for me. I won’t be that responsibility.”
“But—”
“But what? You think you’ll come out, and it’ll be all peaches and cream? Fuck you. It’ll be hard and fucked up. You have a fucking contract that denies what you’re saying. And it’s not like you can just come and be with me, because I’ve got a fucking life, sweetheart. I don’t have time for your drama.” Anger built up around frustration and uncertainty. Noble real
ly hoped those awful words that had just spilled out of his mouth did the trick, because his resolve was crumbling fast.
“Fuck you,” Foxy spat, turning toward his backpack.
“Yeah. Done that. Moving on.” Noble escaped the bedroom and further discussion, anxious to put some distance between them before he broke down and took everything back.
That Foxy would even offer the possibility of outing himself to be with Noble was both thrilling and terrifying. He didn’t want Foxy to go through what he was sure to go through. Sure, being a gay celebrity wasn’t as bad these days as it had been even a few years ago, but it could still be pretty bad. Had to be worse for attractive young men who stood in for the ideal in thousands—if not millions—of young girls’ hearts.
Downstairs, unable to sit, Noble grabbed up his phone and texted Lance. U there?
He turned on some music and paced the living room, reliving the argument with Foxy until his phone chirped. Here.
He said he’d come out for me.
Is that good?
No!
He still there?
Packing. Leaving.
U ok?
No. He started to type more, then erased and typed simply: No.
His phone rang, but he denied the call, texting: Can’t talk. He’s still upstairs.
What can I do?
Nothing. Wait.
Foxy’s footsteps were heavy on the stairs. Stashing the phone in his pocket, Noble watched Foxy’s feet appear, followed by legs covered with jeans, then a body hidden by the hoodie. His bearded jaw was set in a scowl, and his natural curls were damp and free of the baseball cap he held in his hand. He saw Noble watching, and his scowl grew, gaze dropping as he reached the end of the staircase. “I guess this is it.”
Noble leaned against the wall in the hallway, just a few feet away. “Yeah.”
“Are we done?” Foxy asked Noble’s knees. “We’re not even friends?”
He should be strong. He should say no. But he prided himself on being friends with everybody who’d ever been in his life, even the ones who’d hurt him. “We can be friends.”
“Friends.” Foxy’s jaw worked, gritting his teeth again. “Just like you’ve said all along.”
