by Mj Fields
Tears fill my eyes. All I have ever dreamed of was a family and having someone help me. Jagger gave me this, too. He gives me everything good.
We get to work, and hours pass before I know it. Everything is clean, and the wallpaper is ready to come down without making a mess on top of a mess. Excitement fills me and then leaves as I wonder if Jagger will be okay with this. He says he is, but everything has happened so quickly.
“Stop thinking whatever you are thinking,” Hailey barks, eyeing me suspiciously.
“How do you know I am thinking anything at all?”
“From one broken broad to another, we can tell. Don’t overthink it, Tatiana.”
“It’s all so fast.”
Livi snorts. “Caldwells just know. We women are the ones who have to catch up. The brothers have loved and lost deeply. When they find the woman they want, they don’t let go, only give you the space you need to find yourself. Once you do, they claim, and, baby girl, you let them. There are no better men out there than the Caldwell brothers. Momma Caldwell raised them right,” Livi adds proudly.
“Was it fast for you?” I ask.
“Really? Since Jagger has been chasing you since before Hendrix and I even met, I would say you are late to the party, but hey, better late than never.”
Hailey pipes up. “Don’t question it. Just feel it. Nothing better than what these men give. You deserve good, Tatiana. Let Jagger give you all the good he has inside him.”
“He gives me good.” I smile sweetly.
“Oh, if he’s anything like Hendrix, I’m sure he does.” Livi smirks and rubs her belly.
“Morrison gives good too.” Hailey laughs.
“Oh my,” I gasp. “I didn’t mean—”
“Honey, you are a woman, a red-blooded woman, so it’s okay to like it good,” Hailey responds.
“Especially with a man like Jagger. I bet he’s got moves.” Livi snorts as she laughs.
Hailey’s phone rings, distracting our moment.
“Hey, Slick,” she answers and pauses. “Oh.” She bites her bottom lip as her brows draw together. “I don’t know. I…Oh, man. I don’t want to turn them away. Where can we put them?” Tears fall down her cheeks as she listens. “Morrison, I didn’t expect it to do so well. I don’t want to put anyone out, and I don’t want to turn anyone away. The Nest is a safe place, a place of comfort, not a place to be rejected at the door.” She pauses.
I look to Livi, trying to figure out what has Hailey so upset.
“I know, I know, but I have been there—not knowing where to go. Hello, that’s how I ran away with you.” She smiles through the tears. “Best thing I ever did for me and Ris Priss.” She sighs, listening. “Okay. We’ll figure something out. We just have to.” There is another pause while Morrison talks to her. “I love you more. Bye.”
She ends the call and looks to me and Livi. “Momma’s Nest is full, and there is a single mom with two kids seeking help. She’s pretty banged up from what our resident in charge said.” She wipes her tears. “I don’t want to turn anyone away.” Being a single mom to her daughter, Marisa, she knows the struggles.
Momma, the word, the title, the person—it all goes through my mind. What would life have been like if my mother had a place to go with me? What if she could have found help? The thought of a mom and two children having to go back and endure hell at the hands of the man in their lives has me weak in the knees.
Silently, I move to sit on the couch.
Livi watches me carefully. “You okay, Tatiana?”
“Yeah, just memories.”
“Oh, Tatiana, I’m sorry. I didn’t think about what this would stir up for you.”
I have no words. I don’t want to see Morrison and Hailey have to turn someone away. I wish there was something I could do. I wish I could go back in time and give my mom somewhere to run to. Then again, if she had, I wouldn’t be here with Jagger. I wouldn’t have found my good in the world full of bad.
“Hailey,” I say her name softly, unsure of myself.
“Tatiana, I’m sorry I upset you.”
“No, it’s not that. I have a building.” Embarrassment hits me. “I mean, it’s not nice. The units need work, and I can’t use them all because some tenants pay rent, and I need to look out for Ms. Simmons, especially after, well, everything,” I ramble.
“Tatiana, what are you trying to say?” Hailey asks, still worrying that she upset me.
“I don’t want anyone turned away. I have the building—the apartments. They aren’t luxurious. It is a place to start, though. Well…if you…if they…if you want…I don’t know…um…call Morrison,” I stammer as Hailey starts crying again. I don’t know what to say.
She pulls me up off the couch and into a tight hug. “I had an ex. He was bad. Manipulative, crazy, dangerous. Morrison saved me. He built Momma’s Nest so no one would have to feel trapped like me, like you were. Oh, Tatiana, you are the good too.” She is sobbing, and I can’t help crying with her.
“It’s just a few apartments,” I say modestly.
“For some people, that is everything,” Livi whispers, her own tears streaming down her face.
“When you are down to nothing, it is important to appreciate every little something you can get.” I wipe my own tears. “When you finally get something real, you know to hold on to it, and nothing feels better than giving that opportunity for good to someone else. You have to keep hope alive inside people,” I say to the two amazingly strong women in front of me.
For the first time in my life, I can give back and be a part of something bigger than me. For the first time, I get to be part of a family. As broken as each of us has been, we come together to fit each other perfectly, as if it was destiny.
Chapter 23
Jagger
“Little one, what’s wrong?” She’s crying on the phone, and I can hardly understand her. “I’m coming over.”
I hang up the phone and yell to Kid, “You got these two?” I point to the two new guys sparring in the ring. “I gotta run to the house.”
I don’t wait for a yes, only go. I spring out the door, across the driveway, and open the door to the house, all in a rush to see what’s got her upset.
When I open the door, I see all three of them, teary-eyed and smiling. It’s confusing as hell.
When a man sheds a tear, it’s because his head is fucked up, in a bad place. There is no smile. But, as I am learning, when a woman cries, it could mean just about anything.
Livi laughs and waves me over.
These women are crazy, and not like padded-cell shit, like…emotional. Deeply fucking emotional.
“Tell him,” Hailey says, nudging Totty.
I stand there, eyes glued to hers, waiting for her to tell me something. Fuck, I am begging her.
“I want to let Momma’s Nest use the apartments.”
I nod, waiting for the bad news.
“Is it okay with you?”
“Totty, it’s yours,” I say, hoping she understands. When she doesn’t say a thing, I go on. “You can give it away. You can burn it down. You can do whatever the fuck you want with it, babe. It’s yours.”
She cocks her head to the side. “Like this place is yours?”
“This place is ours. That place…” I pause because my blood is boiling when I think about the hell she endured living there, and then I think of Momma and sigh. “It’s perfect. You don’t need my permission, but yes, make something good out of it.”
“Morrison called,” Hailey says, shaking her head. “We’re full and someone came in today. She needs a safe place.”
I look back at Totty, who is beaming.
“I can make a difference.”
“You’ve made a difference to me,” I tell her, walking up to her. “You keep making a difference.” I cup her face and run my thumb over her lips. “It makes you smile, and your smile, little one…Fuck, it’s beautiful.” I run my thumb up the scar. “If it makes you happy, I’m happy.”
&n
bsp; “Oh. My. God,” Livi says, taking me out of the moment and making me realize we aren’t alone.
I have no idea how that happens, but when she’s in the same room as me, no one fucking matters. Hell, I can’t concentrate worth a shit at the gym. I have no clue how my next fight is gonna go if she’s there.
I tear my eyes away and look around the place. “No, this makes me happy, too. Looks great, ladies.” I take Tatiana’s hand so she knows I’m still here for her, my little one. “Wallpaper staying?” I look around. “Fuck, I hope not.”
They all laugh, and Totty wraps her arms around me from the side.
“You sure?”
“Hell yes, I’m sure,” I tell her. “You know why?” I look down at her, and she shakes her head. “Because we hate wallpaper.” That gains me a kiss. “I’ll tear it down if you want.”
“You have the gym to deal with. Shaw’s orders.” She smiles again. “I’ve got this.”
“We’ve,” Livi says, “got this.”
Hailey points to the door. “Shoo, go, get out of here.”
I look down at Tatiana. “You good?”
“Good,” she says with a glint of desire in her eyes.
“Make it fast,” I say, squeezing her ass in my hands. “I’ll be back soon.”
I kiss her quickly and head out the door before I pop wood.
—
In a week’s time, all the new equipment is ordered. My brothers, Kid, and I have been busting ass to clean up the place. It hasn’t been easy, either. With word getting out that I beat Cobra not once but twice, young underground hopefuls are coming in, signing up left and right.
Most are street fighters, badasses with no technique. I know how Shaw must have felt when I walked through those doors. They will be really quick to take a man down, but if he didn’t stay down, if he could wear them down, they would be fucked.
I took on four, and Kid took on seven. I would have, too, but I’m busy training Totty. She’s at the gym four to six hours a day depending on the exhaustion I caused the night before. She’s getting good, depending more on instinct than the shit she watched on the damn Internet. She is getting stronger every day. A weak man would find that intimidating. A weak man would try to pin her down and exert dominance over her. A strong man, a man like me, gets off on the thought that there may be a day, very soon, that she can pin me down.
Fuck, she’s already trying to in bed, and it’s hot as hell, too. She wants it harder. I give it to her.
I look up as Hailey and four women walk in. Then I look at Totty.
She smiles. “All of them have been physically abused. All of them need your help. You’ll do it, right? You’ll train them like you do me?”
I look at her in her black-and-pink little boxing shorts, her pink spandex tank top, and her gorgeous mane she has braided in pigtails.
“I would, but I don’t have time,” I answer, hoping to lead her where I want her.
“But someone may hurt them, Jagger. What if you can make that not happen?”
“Sorry, little one, but I have a fight to prepare for.”
“What happened to being the good in a world of bad?” She is clearly angry.
I shrug and start to walk away. “Nothing happened to it. The burden or blessing, whichever way you see it, just spread out a bit. Now I’m gonna go over here and teach these boys how not to get killed in a fight. What are you gonna do?”
She scowls, then looks at me. “I can’t.”
“Then you tell me, little one,” I say as I grab some gloves off the table next to me. “What happened to it?”
For the next hour, she stands strong and teaches them, and my chest swells with pride. She is no longer the victim. She is the victor.
Every time she looks at me, I make sure I look busy. I want her stronger, braver, and more confident. I want her to fear nothing.
After the other ladies leave, she hangs out, punching, kicking, and even trying out some new equipment. It’s fucking torture. I want her, need her. She is sexy as hell, and she is mine.
She leaves without a word, and I walk over quickly to the side window to make sure she gets in the house. I don’t trust that fucker Cobra. The more I think about our last run-in—the one here for Shaw’s service—the more I know damn well he was the man to send Rand to hell. I can guaran-damn-tee I won’t be shaking the hand of a man who killed Totty’s old man ’cause he thought it would bring her to him.
Once she is inside, I head to the office to check on more orders and call an electrician. We need an inspection after the remodel.
Two hours on the phone. Hell no, this wasn’t how I wanted to spend my day. Being in charge may have perks, but the responsibilities are more time consuming than I imagined. I need to work out.
I laugh to myself when I think that sex with Totty is just as physical as any run can be. I can check off cardio at least once, sometimes twice a day.
I walk out into the gym to see she is back, punching that bag. No one is here, so I can’t pretend I’m busy, nor do I want to. So I stand on the other side of the bag and hold it.
“You wanna go to the bar tonight and have some dinner?”
“I’m not twenty-one,” she says as she jabs the bag.
“There’s food, Totty. You can be in there.” I laugh.
She steps away from the bag and in front of me. “How about you get inside of me, and then you take me to the bar?”
Chapter 24
Tatiana
What is it about this man that lights my body on fire? I feel like a needy little nymph. I am a needy little nymph. Livi says she is the same way with Hendrix. This whole can’t-get-enough-of-his-touch, the feeling, it’s more than sex; it’s a connection. It’s more than release; it’s passion. It’s more than physical; it’s emotional. What I have is Jagger Caldwell, and that is everything.
We are in the shower at home—our home. Jagger wants to go to dinner at the bar. I smile. My first real date. After watching television on a regular basis and the books I have read, I definitely did things out of order. I am happy, though. I am beyond happy, so who cares about tradition and order?
We get out after making out, barely forcing ourselves out of the shower to get ready. I tie the light-green ribbon in my hair. After all these months, it is fraying, but I don’t care. Then I walk into our bedroom to see Jagger dressed in faded jeans and a T-shirt that fits him perfectly across his broad chest.
I am naked.
“Tatiana,” he growls.
I twist the ribbon in my fingers. Untying it, I remove it and hold each end in my hands before I go to him and swing the ribbon over his head, pulling him to me. Rather than kiss him like he expects, I suck hard on his lip as I back up to the bed, pulling him by the ribbon around his neck.
When my legs find the edge of the bed, I bend my knees and fall backward, keeping Jagger with me. He catches himself with his arms to keep his weight off me, but I tug harder on the ribbon, needing him over me. From top to toe, I want him connected to me, covering me.
“I love you, Jagger Caldwell,” I whisper against his lips. “Everything good.”
He growls and takes me into a deep kiss, and our tongues dance as my need grows.
Sliding my legs from under him, I wrap them around his waist. The denim rubbing against my exposed flesh, the rough material brings my skin to life. Every movement has me wanton and more than ready.
He removes the ribbon from his neck and pushes back to stand. My legs slide down to behind his thighs as he stands over me, taking off his shirt and sliding off his jeans, freeing himself.
Reaching out, he ties my hands with the ribbon loosely, letting me know I can get free if I want to. Then he pushes my hands over my head.
“Keep them there. Eyes to me,” he orders, and I am more than eager to comply.
His fingertips tickle the underpart of my arms as he trails down my sides, his thumbs circling my nipples before his hands roam my ribs. His eyes never leave mine, and the depth in them only g
rows deeper and darker the more he touches me.
I smile up at him. “Good touch.”
After rolling the condom on his impressive length, he crosses my ankles and rests them over the curve of his butt. He then runs a finger through my lips, sliding my own moisture and need over me.
Slowly, gently, he slides into me, and I arch up, seeking more, needing more, but his hands squeeze my thighs, stopping me. He is standing tall, proud, while I wiggle, trying to gain more friction. He smirks, which only makes me hotter with need.
“Harder, Jagger.” I need him. I need to feel him. I want to know with every step I take that he has been there…He is mine.
Still slow and gentle, he slides out and slides in, stilling inside me. His eyes never leave mine.
I shake my head as I try to fight for more.
“Eyes to me, Totty.”
I do as I am told. There is something erotic in staring eye to eye with the man I love while he is joined with me from the inside. It also makes me feel vulnerable. In this moment, he can see right through me.
I take a moment while he is statue-still, watching me, waiting for something. I search his eyes, the dark depths, trying to go where they take me. As I move my gaze momentarily to the knight’s helmet tattooed on his chest, then back to his, he doesn’t move. My body is full, deliciously full as I contract around him with my inner walls, and he only stares.
It is then that I see into the man. He is more than the knight who saved me. He is more than the brother who loves fiercely. He is more than the fighter who trains and makes a living. He is Jagger Caldwell. He is the legacy of good in my world of bad.
He is mine.
When I bite my bottom lip and twist the ribbon ends in my fingers, he nods his head as if he knows I get it. Then I kick my heel into his back, trying to make him move, and he laughs.
“I love you, Jagger Caldwell.”
He slides out, and my body comes alive as he slowly slides back in. “I love you, Tatiana Rand.”
“Mine,” I whisper, tapping my heel into his butt again.
He smiles the biggest smile I have ever seen and brings it home. Eye to eye, never moving from my gaze, he thrusts in and out of me. The pace is fast as he rolls his hips, making him hit a spot inside of me that has me closing my eyes. I see the emotions shared between us building me up even more.
