by Mj Fields
“Jagger never told me his favorite color is green,” Livi says.
“Momma Caldwell.” I simply state, and they look to me. “HPV awareness. He gave me a piece of his mom.” I smile proudly.
Tears fill Livi’s eyes. “Oh, the hormones.” She snorts and rubs her very big belly.
Hailey looks to me and then her. “I’m thinking a green nursery might be nice.”
Livi claps her hands together excitedly. “That is perfect. We all can have a green room in our houses for Momma Caldwell.”
I smile at them both, and looking to the ceiling, I whisper, “Legacy.”
Female excitement is running in the air as the guys come in to see the finished room.
Hendrix takes one look at Livi and laughs. “Crazy-ass hormones,” he says, wrapping his arms around his wife.
“You know it.” She smiles, and the love consumes me.
Hailey looks to Morrison as he walks over.
“What’s going on behind those eyes?” he asks her.
“We need a green room,” she blurts out.
“Little momma, I’ll make a movie with you anytime, but we don’t need a greenroom for that.” She smacks his chest playfully and points to the green on my walls. “Oh, hell, do you know how long my brother spent taping those lines? Every time it wasn’t level, he had to peel it back and start again.”
“Green, Morrison, I want the shade of green.”
Livi turns to Hendrix. “I picked the nursery color finally.”
The Caldwell brothers look at me, all shaking their heads. Jagger stands beside his brothers.
“Tatiana, why green?” Hendrix asks.
I lift my wrist proudly with the ribbon, and Jagger sweeps me off my feet to lift me to the countertop as he kisses me deeply, not caring who is in the room. When he pulls away, I bite my bottom lip as he stands between my legs.
“Legacy,” I whisper, our foreheads resting on one another’s.
In our moment, the Caldwell women share with their men the story of the ribbon and the meaning in the green.
“Damn, baby Caldwell. Outdoing us all, little bro,” Morrison says, kissing Hailey’s temple.
“Nope, not outdoing, just doing. We made a promise to Momma, but I think Momma watched over us. She gave us what we needed to keep her with us, even though she’s gone. Each of our women are a little bit of Momma.”
Tears fill my eyes as Hailey wipes her own.
“Hormones!” Livi wails before sobbing against Hendrix.
“Fuck,” Hendrix groans. “Killing me with the tears.”
“You did good, baby Caldwell. Gonna take my woman home and do her good now,” Morrison slaps Jagger on the back as Hailey gasps.
They head out with Hendrix and Livi following.
I’m alone with my man in our home, a place that, little bit by little bit, is becoming more and more a real home every day.
I wiggle my toes in my slippers as Jagger sets me down from the counter.
“You happy, little one?”
I nod.
“How much DIY stuff did you search today?” he jokes. I may have gotten a little carried away with my time on the computer lately, but it was all with our home in mind.
“Well…” I bite my bottom lip.
“Totty, we agreed to save your money. You could go to school with that if you want. Plus, we gave Old Lady Simmons the money to get her paperwork and update her apartment. The gym does well, but I gotta split that with Kid, and I’m not fighting anymore.”
Panic hits me. “Do you regret it?” My mind wonders if I will be enough to replace what he’s giving up.
“Not fighting anymore?”
I nod.
“Fuck no. I love having all my time with you and being able to make something more out of the gym. I don’t need that escape anymore. I don’t need to block out my life. With you, I want to be here, living every moment, not trying to run from it.”
“But the money?”
“We’re set. Well, unless you have some crazy new project I don’t know about, we are fine.”
I suck in air. There is a project. How does he just seem to read me?
“Tatiana, what did you do?” He eyes me curiously.
“It didn’t cost that much.”
He looks around the house, and I know he sees nothing out of place.
We have redone the master so it doesn’t remind him of Shaw at every turn. It is a perfect blend of Jagger’s hardness and my femininity. His masculinity is present in the dark wood flooring and gray walls, but the bedding is all the new me in vibrant red against our black furniture.
Taking him by the hand, I lead him to the guest bedroom. I told him we would do it last when, really, I wanted to surprise him.
The walls are now painted Egyptian blue. The queen bed that was in here has been moved to our bedroom and replaced with a quaint daybed. The wrought iron stands out nicely against the blue walls. The pillow on the bed is my first completed sewing project; I stuffed his shorts from the final fight. It isn’t the softest thing, but as Livi says, it’s a conversation piece.
Jagger steps in behind me and stills as he looks to the wall over the dresser. “Momma and Shaw.”
I have framed a picture of his mother and her boys on one side of his champion belt and on the other is a picture of Shaw with him when he first started training. The belt was a little tricky to get back, but Kid helped me out. Using a website, I ordered stickers for the wall to say My Champion in script. I put those above the pictures with the statement Always the Good below. Beside the dresser, I placed a quilt rack and draped Shaw’s old quilt on it. Jagger told me of Shaw’s wife making this for them so many years ago. It was a gift to him on their forty-fifth wedding anniversary before she passed away. It is a true treasure. I can only hope we have that and many more years together.
As he steps inside the room and looks to the wall beside the door, he finds framed pictures of each of his brothers with their families: Hendrix with his arm around Livi, who is looking down happily at Floyd, their dog; Morrison and Hailey holding Marisa between them; Kid and Jagger together at the gym; and a candid shot Livi took of the two of us when we started the remodel and were both pulling down the first piece of wallpaper.
“What is this?” he asks, looking around the room before landing his gaze on me.
“You give me good, Jagger. More than that, you give to others. You have been there for your brothers, your mother, Shaw, Kid, and me. You are the good, Jagger. You are her legacy and so much more. I wanted you to see and never forget.”
He doesn’t speak. He turns and kisses me, and my heart swells.
He is always giving me more good than I ever imagined possible.
Chapter 27
Jagger
I pull into the bar, where Totty isn’t expecting me yet. I like it like that. I like to surprise my prey once in a while.
She and the girls have gotten close, and she likes to help out on Fridays, preparing for the dinner crowd. With the best prime rib in town, the place always ends up wall to wall.
I walk in, seeing her laughing and talking to Jared. She’s wearing a Caldwell’s T-shirt and jeans. Her hair is pulled back with my green ribbon—yes, all mine. She smiles at Jared, fucker is beaming, and I know he isn’t fucked up yet. It’s only four o’clock.
I slide in the seat next to him.
She smiles and licks her lips. “Hi, there.” She leans forward, and I give her a kiss.
“A man should marry a woman he thinks he can kiss like that in—”
I kick him under the bar.
“What the hell?”
I scowl at him, then look back at Totty. “You think you can give me a minute?”
“Of course. Be right back, gotta get one of the girls to cover—”
“Your sisters, Totty,” I interrupt.
She beams—fucking beams—and nods. “Be right back.”
Jared looks at me, setting down his draft. “I’m available.”
&
nbsp; I stand up and pat him on the back. “You’re not my type.”
“Smartass,” I hear him say as I walk over to the door that leads to the bar. “You know what I mean.”
Totty walks out from behind the bar, and I take her hand. Then I lead her up the stairs and back to the only room that remains from the old apartment we were raised in.
I sit down in Momma’s old rocker and pat my lap. “Come here, Totty.”
She looks at me with a little confusion in her eyes as she sits down.
“This was the apartment I was raised in,” I explain to her. “Hendrix tore it up when he kicked my old man to the curb, yet kept this back corner room. This is where she would tuck us away when the old man came home drunk.”
“I’m so sorry,” she says, hugging me.
“Shit happens, Tatiana. Happiness should be a birthright, but it isn’t always. Some of us are dealt blow after blow and manage to stay off the ground. Both of our mothers—yours and mine—gave us life and protected us the best they could. After seeing those pictures of you as a baby being held by a woman who smiled while holding you, I have no doubt you were the only light in her life, just like me and my brothers were Momma’s.”
“You think so?”
“No doubt in my mind.”
“I love you.”
I kiss the side of her head. “And I love hearing you say that. More than that, I love saying it to you. I love you so damn much, little one. It’s been over seven months since I saw you in a corner, bracing for the next blow. For seven months, there has been a need to protect you. It just took me a little time to realize it was more than that. I not only want to protect you, I also want to be a better man for you, an honest man, your man.”
“You are. You are so good, Jagger, so, so good.” Her arms tighten around me. “I know, with you in my life, I will never be that girl cowering in the corner again. I know now my life is worth fighting for.”
“You bet your ass it is.” I tilt her chin up and kiss her, my tongue slowly stroking hers, caressing every part of it, savoring her taste. I could easily get lost in this, take more, give her more, but right now, I want to give her everything, not just more.
I pull back before I am too far over the edge. With her, it’s often too hard to pull back.
“You and me, we weren’t gifted the right to be happy from birth. We both had to fight. Your fight was to stay alive, tucked away in the corner. My fight was coming out of the corner, releasing the rage that was inside of me in order to survive. Two different fights, two separate corners. The outcome is the same, though, Totty.
“My Totty, you and I are in this together. We aren’t alone anymore. I am in your corner, and you are in mine. Separately, we have struggled for our happiness, but little one, our struggles are over.”
I dig in my pocket to find the little ribbon and pull it out, keeping it fisted in my hand. “I’m better because of you. I will continue to do and want better because of you. I promise you that you will never be tucked in a corner alone, struggling to survive. I will be in your corner for the rest of your life if you will be in mine.”
“You know I will.” She looks down, her hand going to the ribbon in her hair.
I gently tug her hair back so we are eye to eye. “Promise me, then?”
“Of course.”
I hold up the ribbon. It’s from the same place as the first one I gave her all those months ago.
“I wanna give you this.” I let the ribbon dangle out of my still-closed hand.
She smiles like I’m giving her the fucking moon. “Thank you.” She tugs on it, and I let go.
“Oh my goodness.”
“For the rest of our lives?”
“Are you…are you…?”
I take the diamond ring and nod. “Tatiana Rand, will you give me the honor and the privilege of being in your corner to protect and love you forever?”
Her hand covers her mouth, tears begin to spill, and she nods her head.
“Will you, my beautiful little one, marry me?”
“Today?”
I laugh. “If that’s what you want.”
“It can’t be soon enough. Oh, Jagger, yes!” She kisses me. “Yes, yes, yes!”
I laugh as I push the ring onto her little finger and then kiss it.
She laughs, too, and jumps up. She gasps and covers her mouth. Then the damn tears fall again while she starts laughing again.
“I’m gonna be a Caldwell?”
I can’t help laughing at that, too.
“Yeah, Totty, you are.”
She hugs me and looks up. “I am going to love you so hard when we get home.”
“I know you will,” I groan out, bending down to my fiancée’s lips.
She pulls back. “But first, I need to tell them. I need to tell my sisters that I am going to really be part of this family.”
She is beaming, smiling, and so anxious to tell them, she is nearly jumping out of her skin. She’s itching to run down those stairs. I feel a slight tinge of jealousy…Hey, nobody’s fucking perfect.
“You go tell them,” I say.
“We.” She grabs my hand. “We do it together.”
“Perfect.” I smirk before becoming more serious. “Then we get out of here so I can fuck you hard at home.”
“Good touch.”
“Really fucking good touch, little one.”
She moans and smiles. “I would go through all that hell again, all those times in the corner alone and afraid, if I knew I would end up with you.”
“Nobody will ever force you into a fucking corner again. You are not alone.”
—
For the next two weeks, I hardly see her unless I’m inside her. The four of them—Livi Caldwell, Hailey Caldwell, Marisa Caldwell, and Tatiana Rand…soon-to-be Caldwell—spend every day on that damn computer, scouring the Internet for DIY projects as they—yes, they—plan for the day I will call her mine legally, not just mine in my heart.
Chapter 28
Tatiana
Really, I never imagined my life could go from having no one to having a family, a real extended family.
I am going to be a Caldwell! I am going to be part of a family, one I love. We girls, my sisters and I along with my soon-to-be niece, have spent countless hours finding the cutest, most cost-effective DIY wedding favors, decorations, and even accessories.
As I’m putting away my laptop after another fun time with the girls, there is a knock at the door. I don’t think as I open it, expecting it to be Livi needing to pee. However, the person standing in front of me is not Olivia Caldwell.
“Jason,” I say as the shock wears off.
He smiles. “Mouse.”
I step back out of habit and realize that was the wrong move when he takes the gesture as his invitation to enter our home, my home with Jagger.
“You know, we were friends once,” he begins, and I am not sure if he is referring to him and me or him and Jagger. I swallow hard. “Me and Caldwell,” he clarifies. “A long time ago, I came to train with Shaw, but I wasn’t on the up and up about who I was, so I got sent packin’. Your man is big on honesty.”
Fear builds up in me. “Why are you telling me this? Why are you here?”
“Caldwell, he’s good. I hate that fact, but he is. Missy ran to him, ran right to him every fucking time.”
“What do you mean every time?” He steps toward me and I hold my hand up.
“She brings out a rage in me. You know, like your old man. She wouldn’t stop nagging, wouldn’t stop pushing me. I snapped. I’m ashamed to say more than once. She ran to him, but she always came back. We made up, and then she would compare me to him and set me off again. Where did she run again? Right to Caldwell. Why couldn’t she run to me? Why couldn’t you run to me?”
“You’re my friend. We’re just friends. I don’t see you like that.” My voice cracks. “You scare me, Jason.”
He steps back. “See? Honesty. You don’t push the limits. You know what I d
id for you. You know you are my redemption. I made you safe, not Caldwell.”
He reaches out, and I use my forearm to block. Shifting my weight naturally, I prepare to defend myself.
“I could lose everything. All for you, and yet, you run to him. I risked it all for you.”
He is calm, way too calm. “I didn’t ask you for anything.”
“I saw the marks. I saw the interest Jagger had in you, always the savior. It was me this time, Mouse. I saved you.”
I shake my head. What is he saying? This can’t be.
“He was drunk. It was fast, and it was easy. I kept you from your future with him.”
“Why would I leave a past like that to a future of the same?” I yell at him. Now I’m angry.
His eyes grow wide at my statement.
“You said you lose control. Whether you mean to or not, you are dangerous.” I fight to remain strong. He will not break me. No matter how scared I get, I will not cower in the corner. Jagger gave me this.
“I am,” he whispers, and I prepare, sensing the change in him. “You know what they say…You’re a product of your upbringing. Caldwell is no better than me. Sure, I grew up with the silver spoon, while he grew up in the slums, but we are cut from the same mold: two young boys with fathers who wanted to make men out of us, teaching us lessons in life one blow at a time. Jagger will snap one day. What then, Mouse? At least with me, you know what you get.” He taunts and I see red.
Rage hits me square in the gut. “How dare you! Jagger will not snap. He is not his father’s son. He’s his mother’s legacy. He takes care of me and loves me. He would die before he brought me sadness or harm.
“You rid the world of a monster, but that doesn’t protect me. I was on my way out, anyway. Get your head on straight, Cobra. Stop looking to strike first and just learn to control the beast within. Not everything is a fight. Love shouldn’t hurt. When you find the right girl, she will push you, push you to be better.”
He eyes me, studying me. “You make Caldwell better. He gave up the circuit for you. Shaw couldn’t get him to do that. You make him better. You love him?”
“With every ounce of my being.” I stand firm.
“Be happy, little mouse.” With those last words, he leaves.
