He went on to explain the management of her pregnancy in detail, and far from being frightened by the intensive nature of the monitoring, she seemed reassured.
‘So—where will I be treated?’ she asked.
‘This is where you get a choice,’ he explained. ‘It’s up to you whether to want to be treated here, locally, or go to a specialist centre in London, and I won’t be in the least offended if you choose to do that. All I can promise is that if you stay here with us, I’ll do everything I can to make sure that you end up with two healthy, normal babies at the end of your pregnancy.’
‘But if I go to a specialist centre, can they do more?’
‘Not necessarily. I was working there until I came here, and I do have a special interest, but obviously they deal with more cases as they’re a referral centre. The care, however, wouldn’t be any different, I’d make sure of that.’
‘So are you as good as the consultant there?’ Mr Grieves asked, and Ben chuckled. Daisy, on the sidelines, stifled a smile.
‘I would have to say yes, but then I am his older brother, by about a minute,’ he told them with a grin, and then shocked her. ‘We were monoamniotic twins, and we survived, and that was nearly thirty five years ago. Hence our mutual interest.’
‘You’re momo twins?’ Mrs Grieves said, echoing Daisy’s incredulous thoughts, and he nodded.
‘Yes—and we’d work closely together on your case, so although he might have a little more experience than me, you have to juggle that against the disruption of being treated away from home. In any case the early part of your care would be here, and I’m sure my brother would be happy to review all the scans if I ask him.’
He let that sink in, then added, ‘It’s a lot to think about. I want you to be scanned every other week for now, and we’ll then scan you weekly from 20 to 28 weeks, then admit you to whichever centre you choose for even closer monitoring. Go and think about it, and let us know your decision in the next few days.’
‘I want to stay here,’ she said firmly. ‘I don’t want to travel, and if I’m going to have to be an in-patient for weeks, I don’t want it to be miles from my family. And I trust you. You’ve worked there, your interest in the condition is much more than academic, and as you say, your brother will pass anything new on to you. I’d like you to look after me—if you will? If you think it’s safe?’
Ben smiled at her and gave a soft laugh. ‘Of course I will, Mrs Grieves, and I don’t think you’d be any safer there, but I think you should talk it over with your husband.’
‘I don’t,’ he said instantly. ‘If she’s happy, I’m happy. If you’re confident that you can do it as well as them, and it’ll save Mel all that stress of the travelling, then I think it’s a much better idea. And thank you for taking the time to be so helpful.’
‘My pleasure. Take it steady and get plenty of rest. And if you’ve got anything else you want to ask, you can talk to me at any time. Just ring up and I’ll phone you back as soon as I’m free, or you can make an appointment and come in. And I’ll arrange to have some literature sent to you. I don’t want you to feel you’re on your own with this. Any questions?’
There were a few, and he answered them patiently and comprehensively without hesitation. He clearly knew his subject, Daisy thought, and she could see the parents relaxing as their confidence in him grew.
He said goodbye and showed them out, and Daisy turned to him with new eyes.
‘That’s amazing. I can’t believe you and Matt were MCMA twins. How early were you?’
‘Just over a month. They picked it up on ultrasound at 18 weeks, and Mum was transferred to a specialist centre two months later when we were still both alive and mothballed for weeks. She nearly went nuts, apparently, but she got away with it, and so did we. I guess we were very lucky.’
‘Evidently.’
‘Anyway, I’d like you to read up on it, and if there’s anything you want to know, just yell. I’ve got all sorts of literature at home. Just remember they may very well die if things go wrong in the next few weeks.’
‘That’s so sad.’
‘It’s a fact of twin pregnancy. Everyone thinks it’s great, but it’s not, it’s often complicated and it’s always riskier than a singleton pregnancy, but with any luck we’ll be able to give them two healthy babies. How do you fancy dinner later?’
She blinked at the change of subject. ‘Sounds great, my fridge is empty. What did you have in mind?’
‘Fish and chips on the seafront while we watch the sunset?’
She laughed. ‘That sounds amazing.’
‘I thought so,’ he said cockily, and winked. ‘Come on, then, pull your weight, Dr Daisy. Haven’t you got patients waiting?
The sunset was glorious, and they sat on a bench on the clifftop eating their fish and chips out of the paper while they watched the clouds change colour.
‘This was a great idea,’ she said as she finished, and leant over and gave him a greasy little kiss on the cheek. He laughed and rubbed it off, then slung his arm round her shoulders and they stayed there, heads together, staring out to sea until the reds and golds faded to the purple and silver of moonlight.
The temperature plummeted as the sun went down and Ben felt her shiver, so reluctantly they strolled back to her house and sat in the conservatory drinking tea while he emailed Matt from his phone about the Grieves twins and she flicked through the literature he’d given her.
‘You were so nearly conjoined twins! If the embryo had split any later you would have been,’ she said, looking up at him, and he gave a hollow laugh.
‘Tell me about it. Damn good job we weren’t, we would have killed each other. Close as we are, we’re not that close and we’re both far too opinionated and independent.’
‘It must be so weird to be that close to someone,’ she said thoughtfully. ‘Snuggled up in the womb, really able to touch each other—odd. It must make a bond like no other.’
‘I guess it does,’ he said thoughtfully, putting his phone down. ‘I don’t really think about it and I don’t know what it’s like to have a normal sibling of a different age. There’s only the two of us. I think by the time my mother had got over the shock, she didn’t want any more. I think we were a bit of a handful.’
‘I’ll bet. Did you live in town?’
‘No—well, on the edge of town, with fields behind the house, and we had a million rescued cats and dogs and rabbits and goats and God knows else what to keep us occupied.’
‘Why weren’t you a vet?’ she asked curiously, and he laughed.
‘Because I didn’t want to spend my life up to my knees in mud and worse, freezing to death in a stone barn in January with my arm up the back of a cow. Next question?’
She laughed with him, and then gave it serious thought. ‘With Matt, do you hurt when he hurts?’
‘Gosh. That’s a deep one. Do you mean physically?’
‘Whatever.’
He nodded slowly. ‘Maybe. I was sick when he had appendicitis. We share a lot—tell each other things we wouldn’t tell another living soul. But then, don’t all siblings?’
‘I don’t know, I’m an only child. Mike’s kids were close, though, poor little things, and I’m glad they were, because at least they had each other. They didn’t deserve what he did to them—to all of us.’
His eyes were sympathetic, and he nodded slowly. ‘Is that them, on your fridge?’
‘Freya and Millie. Yes. I still miss them. If Mike had been half the father to them that you are to Florence, things would have been fine, but he wasn’t, he was weak and self-centred and I should have seen it sooner, then none of us would have been so badly hurt.’
‘I’m sorry,’ he said softly, and she shrugged and got up, shutting the windows.
‘One of those things. It was years ago now—nearly three.’
‘And he went back to his wife.’
‘Yes. He never really left her. They were still sleeping together, all the time he was w
ith me. I had no idea.’
She saw the realisation in his eyes, the explanation for her insecurity over him staying at Jane’s.
‘Oh, Daisy. I’m sorry. Was that when you moved away?’
‘Yes. I didn’t need to hear any more about him, and he started phoning me, sucking up again. Bored, I expect. Time to cut and run.’
‘Sounds like it was a good move.’
She turned and looked at him, her eyes sad. ‘I thought it would be, but I’m not so sure now. Out of the frying pan and all that.’
He felt sick. She looked defeated, resigned, and he’d done this to her. ‘Oh, hell, Daisy, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let this go so far. It was always going to be too complicated. I’m being selfish.’
‘No, you’re not. I went into this with my eyes open.’
‘No, you didn’t. I didn’t tell you about Florence until we’d almost slept together.’
‘I could have stopped it there,’ she said, but they both knew she was lying. It had been too late the moment they set eyes on each other, him covered in plaster, her covered in tea. Their eyes had met and that had been it, and their first kiss and everything that followed it had been inevitable.
He shifted the cat off his lap and stood up. ‘Do you want me to go?’ he asked, wondering if this was the end, if she was finally coming to her senses and kicking him out, as she probably should have done weeks ago, but she shook her head.
‘It’s too late, Ben,’ she said simply. ‘I already love you.’
He felt as if she’d punched him in the solar plexus, and he closed his eyes. ‘Daisy, no. Not that.’
‘What, the “L” word? I thought we’d agreed on honesty?’ She reached out for him, taking his hand and cradling it against her heart. ‘I know the rules, Ben, and I’m not trying to change anything. I’m just telling you the truth. I just wish it could be different, less complicated, but it isn’t and I don’t have the strength to walk away from you now.’
God help him, he didn’t have the strength to walk away from her, either. He folded her against his chest, rested his face against her hair and breathed in her fragrance. To hell with the rules.
‘For what it’s worth, I love you, too,’ he admitted softly, his voice gruff with emotion. ‘And I wish—’
‘I know.’ She stepped away. ‘Come to bed.’
Their loving was heartbreakingly tender, and when it was over Daisy lay in his arms, silent tears leaking from her eyes.
‘Don’t cry.’
‘I’m not,’ she lied, her voice clogged with tears.
‘I thought we were being honest.’
‘We are.’ She squeezed her eyes tight shut and hugged him. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘Me, too. You deserve so much more.’
‘Ben, I don’t want more, I want you, and if this is what we have, then I’ll treasure it for as long as it lasts. And I know that won’t be forever, but let’s just enjoy it while we can.’
His arms tightened, and he pressed his lips to her hair and wished—hell, he didn’t know what he wished. That she’d never met Mike? Oh, yes—but then she wouldn’t be here and he wouldn’t have met her. That Florence didn’t exist? Impossible to wish that.
That Daisy was her mother?
The ache that gave him in the region of his heart nearly took his breath away.
Steve’s wife was admitted the following day in labour, and Amy called for Daisy.
‘She’s breech and I’m not sure she’s going to be able to deliver. Want to try, or do you want to send in the big guns?’
‘Ben’s on call this week. I’ll find him,’ she said, reluctant to take the responsibility. She’d tell him what was going on and hand over, but she didn’t want to work with him today, she was still feeling fraught after last night.
She shouldn’t have told him she loved him. She should have let sleeping dogs lie, but no, she’d had to confess, and now it seemed they were both in deeper than they’d wanted to be, and their light-hearted affair was turning into an emotional minefield.
He was in his office struggling with paperwork, and he was only too happy to leave it—but he was taking Daisy with him. ‘You need the experience,’ he said, and she couldn’t argue with it, so she went. ‘Any idea what kind of breech?’ he asked as they walked down the ward.
‘No. I haven’t seen her. The baby turned last night.’
‘Really? That’s late. I wonder if I can turn it back.’
‘Are you good at it?’
‘I’m good at everything—except relationships,’ he added quietly, and pushed the door open and ushered her in.
‘Hello, Steve. Marian, isn’t it? Hi, I’m Ben.’ He shook their hands, and Steve looked relieved to see him.
‘Glad it’s you, guv,’ he said anxiously. ‘Can you sort it?’
‘I’m sure we can,’ he said, snapping on gloves and feeling Marian’s abdomen. ‘Amy, can I have an update?’
‘Slow progress, she’s 3 centimetres dilated and that hasn’t changed for over an hour. Heartbeat’s normal, but labour’s just not progressing.’
‘Your baby’s obviously got a skinny little bottom,’ he said with a smile, then asked Daisy to feel the baby’s position.
‘What do you think?’
‘It’s a frank breech, I think. I’m sure I can feel at least one foot up by the head.’
‘Yes. I can only feel one, but the other one won’t be far away. So it’s a good position for a natural delivery, or I could try and turn it. How frequent are the contractions?’
‘Every five minutes,’ Amy said, and they then paused while Marian breathed her way through one.
‘It doesn’t feel as if it’s doing anything,’ she complained afterwards. ‘It’s not like my other labours.’
‘How many babies have you had?’
‘This is the fourth—and the last. That’s what you get for going on holiday to somewhere uncivilised.’
‘It was only Turkey! She was on the pill and got sick,’ Steve chipped in.
‘It happens,’ Ben said wryly, and Daisy frowned. Was that what had happened to Jane?
There was no time to think about it, though, because he was feeling her abdomen again, apologising as he dug his fingers in deeply around her pelvis and flexed them a little. ‘I think it might be possible to persuade this youngster to right itself. Want to give it a go?’
‘Will it hurt?’ Marian asked.
Ben pulled a face. ‘Not hurt, exactly. It don’t think it’ll be very comfortable, but all I want to do is push the top and bottom in opposite directions to try and spin it. The baby often joins in and kicks, and that seems to help. Either it’ll work, or it won’t, and then we think again. Want to try?’ he said, and she nodded.
Without wasting any time, he laid one hand on the back of the baby’s head, the other low down on the other side, and as he pushed and jiggled and coaxed, there was a shift, her abdomen changed shape and Ben’s hands followed through as the baby somersaulted into the right position.
He straightened up, grinning, and gave Marian a broad wink.
‘There you go. One baby, the right way up, and settling nicely into your pelvis. Go on, down you go, little one,’ he said, giving it an encouraging little push, and her eyes widened.
‘Oh—gosh—that feels a bit more like it,’ she gasped, and grabbed Steve’s hand, panting furiously.
Amy was at the business end, and she looked up a minute later. ‘OK, Marian, that’s lovely, keep breathing. Your waters have broken and you’re doing really well.’
Daisy and Ben stayed. Technically they weren’t needed, but things had moved on so fast that a second midwife hadn’t come yet, so they were there when a squalling baby slithered into Amy’s waiting hands, bright red with indignation and screaming the place down.
She laid her on Marian’s front as she sagged back against the pillows, laughing and crying and trying to get her breath, and as she stared down, her eyes welled over.
‘It’s a girl!’
<
br /> ‘Of course it’s a girl,’ Steve said, trying and failing to hang onto his masculine pride as the tears coursed down his cheeks. ‘Only a woman would change her mind that late, and then change back again!’
They all laughed, and Daisy leant over for a closer look at the new arrival. She’d stopped crying now and she was staring up, transfixed, into her mother’s eyes, and Daisy felt an unexpected lump in her throat.
‘Oh, she’s lovely. Congratulations,’ she said. ‘Has she got a name?’
‘Yes—Tommy,’ Marian said drily, and they all laughed again. ‘I didn’t let myself get carried away with girls’ names, because I just knew she’d be a boy like the others.’
‘Apparently not,’ Amy said with a smile as she clamped and cut the cord. ‘Still, you’ve got a few days.’
‘Oh, it seems wrong not having a name for her,’ Marian said, stroking her baby’s face with a gentle finger. ‘Who are you, sweetheart, hmm? What’s your name? Are you a Katie?’
Another midwife arrived, so they left the little family in their capable hands, trying out names on their daughter.
Outside in the corridor, Ben hesitated.
‘Coffee?’ he said, but Daisy shook her head. Just watching Marian and Steve with their beautiful little girl gave her a hollow ache inside. She was getting broody, she realised, and that was so, so dangerous. So easy to get lulled into a fantasy world, now the ‘L’ word was out of the box. She should have kept her mouth shut.
‘I’ve got loads to do—patients waiting. I’ll see you later.’
Except it was quiet, for once, and she had altogether too much time to think about Ben and the fact that he loved her, too—and that still, even so, there was no way forward.
CHAPTER EIGHT
THE status quo persisted between them for the next couple of weeks. The landscapers had taken down the fence between them, and that weekend, he’d got Florence as usual.
Tempted by Dr. Daisy Page 10
