In the other rooms she heard her parents rushing to ready themselves for work. It was all they did. They rested, they slept, they paid Ross' lackeys for blood, they went to work. It was the same routine every single day. It was not so different a life than humans lived, but shouldn't it be more, she wondered? Shouldn't such powerful creatures as they were live more comfortable and less stressful lives? If only they could . . . could kill. But then they wouldn't be Naturals, the closest any of them ever got to being human again.
School, too, was the same routine. Every single day. School was a drag. Each day was harder to get through. Dell felt sullen and out of sorts. Once at school, she steered clear of her friends and attended her earlier classes with only half her mind paying attention. She went off by herself at lunchtime, walking out to the front of the school to sit on the steps alone. No one came here at lunch. They grouped together in little cliques, believing they really were Somebodies.
Mentor's little supernatural-assisted trips had sobered her. She'd seen the pain written on his face, felt his loneliness and helplessness. She'd felt the depth of Madeline's unwavering rage and her helplessness, too.
Mentor surely was right. It was not worth it to get involved with humans. Eventually she'd be out of school, go on to college, begin to see the world from the vantage point of a vampire. One day, maybe, she'd meet another of her kind and form a union so she that wouldn't be alone like Mentor. She'd be like her parents.
Oh, God! More routine and discouragement. Nothing new, nothing bright and exciting. It just didn't seem worthwhile.
Nevertheless she really had to stay away from Ryan Major. It was unfair to him. It was a form of death to her to think she'd love him so much one day that she'd be locked in the monastery after his loss.
"Hi, they said I'd find you here. Are you all right?"
Dell pushed her sunglasses tighter against the bridge of her nose. It was Ryan. He was sitting beside her now on the steps, folding his long legs before him. She could smell him. He had a very masculine scent, sort of lemony and sunny. She turned her head away from him and picked at the seam of her jeans.
"Dell? What's wrong?"
"Nothing." If she were rude and ugly and mean to him, he'd go away.
"Nothing? You look like you lost your best friend.”
“Would you mind leaving me alone?" There. That should do it.
"I don't want to leave you alone. Something's wrong. Did I say something, do something? Can't you talk to me?"
He had his hand on her hand and she jerked it away. She was cold. Dead. He would know that one day and he'd despise her. He's be horror-stricken. She couldn't take that. She never wanted to see his face change with understanding and horror filling his eyes.
"Go away," she said.
He didn't. He sat quietly, not trying to touch her again. Finally, when she saw he was not going to leave, she turned to him. She felt anger rising. Why wouldn't he let her be? She was trying to save both of them so much trouble.
Spiraling anger caused her to lash out. Words tumbled before she could catch them, before she could monitor herself. "So you like vampires, huh? You like Lori and her little pretend bloodsuckers? You don't even know what a vampire is. You probably think they're like your little friends. They want to be alone and pretend they're different, special. They want to drink one another's blood, they want to try out kinky sex. They're the ones you ought to hang out with. Go find them, Ryan, and leave me alone!"
"I don't understand . . ."
"No, you don't. People die, don't they? They live a little while and then they die and turn to dust. Well, what if some of them didn't exactly die? What if when they did die, they became something else, they changed, they had a special disease that made them live on? What if they turned into something . . . weird? Something no one under heaven could accept? A monstrosity, a freak of nature? What if I told you that's what I am? You wouldn't like me so much then, would you? If I told you I can't eat food or drink anything anymore, what would you say? What if I said I have to drink blood from a vampire blood bank? That it comes in bags and we drink them? And what would you say if I told you I can't die except under very special circumstances? And that I'm cold, Ryan, COLD! My heart doesn't beat. My blood only sits there, renewed by the blood I have to have, but my heart never moves it. And if I wanted to, I could disappear. Right now. In front of you."
She saw the look on his face, the amazement, and she wanted to scare him, scare him so badly he'd never want to come near her again. She began to concentrate and her molecules slowly began to dance, bumping and moving apart, until when she looked down at her hands she saw them shimmering, light flowing right through them, making them transparent.
You see? She sent the thought to his mind. Watch closely and see a miracle. I am vampire, Ryan. I am a true monster.
She completely disappeared, except for a darkness in the air that hovered just above the steps she'd been sitting upon. She moved higher and watched Ryan's shocked face as his gaze followed her. She lowered again to the steps, came back to herself, transforming into her corporeal body. She looked fully into his eyes and said, "Get away from me. Get away from me now before I do something you won't like."
Ryan stumbled back up the steps on his hands, pushing with his feet to get away, and finally he leaped to his feet and hurried into the school building. Dell turned back and looked out into the empty yard. A wind blew past ruffling her hair. It smelled of magnolia flowers blooming on a nearby tree. She closed her eyes and felt the tears come, filling her eyes.
"Are you happy, Mentor?" she whispered into the wind. "Are you all happy now?"
~*~
Dell lay on her bed, one arm thrown over her eyes. It was after eight p.m. and she'd sent Eddie away when he'd come to see about her. When her parents came to her door to inquire after her, she sent them away, too. "I just need to be alone," she said. "Please."
She knew they were discussing her in the living room, thinking of calling for Mentor, but she didn't really care what they said or what they did. She only wanted to be still. And to think. She wasn't sure she could even go back to school again. She wasn't afraid that Ryan would say anything to anyone. Who would believe him, after all? But she did not think she could stand the rigorous standards that humans demanded in an institution like high school. She didn't want her friends anymore. They cared about clothes and cars and boys. She had nothing in common with any of them. Her problems were much deeper and more personal.
She couldn't have Ryan. Couldn't date him like a real girl could.
She cared little about her subjects and if she wanted, she could speed-read every book they gave her and retain the information, the way Eddie did.
Maybe she should quit school and forget college and just learn what she had to learn from books and from the world. She could take classes from a university on the Internet. She might even go away from her parents, leave Dallas, hide out somewhere so that she could think and find a way to live this new life she'd been given.
Her family probably thought she was getting suicidal. She could tell them how wrong they were and relieve their worry. She couldn't sustain the thought of fire, of setting herself alight and twirling until she was but cinder and soot. She simply needed to change her life now. Get away. She could transform, since Mentor had shown her how. She could travel above the Earth, so far away there was no air, no heat. She could go to another country or into the wilderness in this one. She could live on the blood of small animals and grow her hair longer and let it tangle. She could live like the wild thing she was. She needed neither shelter from storm nor anything else the world offered. Why more of them just didn't go away into hiding she couldn't understand. Or maybe they did—and no one spoke of it. Maybe there were thousands of them, millions! All of them hiding out, living alone, miserable until the end of all time. The vampires who tried to live with humanity and couldn't. The ones who were so depressed and alone they had to go away forever.
"Oh, God," she said quiet
ly.
After a tentative knock at her bedroom door, Aunt Celia stuck her head into the room. "Dell? Can I come in?"
Dell turned onto her side away from the door, keeping silent. She felt the weight of her aunt when she sat down on the bed's edge. She waited for her touch, and when it didn't come, she turned over. "Why did they call you?"
"They know something's happened. This isn't like you. Can't we talk about it?"
"I don't really want to talk."
"It's that boy, isn't it?"
"They told you about Ryan?"
Celia nodded and now she did place her hand on Dell's shoulder. "Carolyn's nearly your age," she said. "And though you might not believe it, once I was young too."
Dell had to smile. "I know. It's just . . . I can't talk about this."
"All right, I won't press you. I'm having dinner here tonight, and Carolyn will be over later. When you feel better, maybe you can come out and be with your family."
"I'll try," Dell said, sighing deeply.
Celia rose and left her alone. The door snicked closed, and Dell lay on her back, feeling sleepy. She'd try to get up later and let her family know she was going to be all right. She hated to make them worry.
She must have fallen asleep because everything went hazy and she felt the hairs at the back of her neck stand up. She knew herself under scrutiny, and when she lifted her gaze to look around she saw she was not in her bed, but lying on forest debris in a dark wood with a blood-red moon overhead. It was the dream of her death—and she was back again.
~*~
Ryan stood on the steps at Dell's house, hesitating, his fist raised to knock at the door. It frightened him to be here. Yet he'd felt compelled to come. He had seen for himself that Dell had been telling the truth. Not only did she make herself disappear and reappear, but just before and after he had seen her teeth, the sharp incisors, the look of hunger in her eyes. They were no fake dental appliances she'd slipped into place. The disappearance was no magic trick. The strange look that came over her was unearthly. And it was real.
She was a vampire. That was a fact. He knew it for certain, absolutely. Although it was against all logic. It was truly insane. But it didn't detract from the fact that he knew what he knew. He'd seen what he'd seen. He'd experienced a vampire, a real one.
And he was here at her door because . . . because he loved her. That was another verifiable fact of life. There were vampires. And there was love. Neither could be disputed. They were universal truths that nothing he could do would ever change. He guessed he'd loved her the first day he'd entered school and sat behind her in English class. He didn't even know that love at first sight existed, but then there were a lot of things he didn't know.
Suddenly the door opened and Dell's little brother, Eddie, stood there, glaring at him. "What do you want?"
Ryan stepped back a step, but then he straightened his shoulders and looked the boy in the eyes and said, "I've come to see Dell."
"She doesn't want to see anybody."
"I know. But I have to talk to her."
"That's impossible." Eddie began to shut the door.
Ryan stepped forward and put his hand up, holding it open. "Please, Eddie. I know all about you, about your family. She told me."
He never got the chance to say more. Eddie's eyes widened, then he grabbed Ryan by the collar, and though he was smaller than Ryan, he dragged him easily from the front step into the house. "Wait here," he said, "God damn it."
Shaken but determined, Ryan stood in the hall, waiting. This was a vampire house. They walked in the day, they didn't die from the sun, they looked just like other people. He shook his head in consternation.
In other rooms he heard people talking and wondered if they knew he was there.
While he waited, he wondered what he was going to say to Dell to convince her he had to be in her life. He just had to make her understand something had happened between them. He couldn't give her up this way. He couldn't go on with his life as if it were still normal. He was irrevocably changed by her, his life intertwined with hers. He couldn't stop thinking of her. He couldn't live without her, that was the thing.
"Ryan, what are you doing here?"
She stood a few feet away, her hair in disarray, clothes awry. Behind her in the shadows stood her little brother.
"Can I talk to you, Dell? Alone?"
"Why did you tell him?" Eddie asked.
"Leave us alone, Eddie," she said.
"You shouldn't have told him. You know you must never do that."
"Go away, I said!"
"Oh, all right, have it your way. But Mentor's not going to like this."
When they were alone, Ryan reached out his hand for her to take it. "Come outside?"
She took his hand and they went out the door, closing it behind them. Ryan turned to her. He put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. "I don't care what you are. You're here and I'm here and we belong together. I had to come and tell you that. Ever since you told me, I've been confused and afraid, but I'm not afraid anymore."
"You weren't listening, Ryan. I'm not like you. It's a disease, a mutated disease that affects our whole line, affects us generation after generation. So few of us escape it. I have aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents, and almost all of them are vampires. It's as if I had some kind of deadly disease, don't you see? Only this doesn't kill me. I wish it would. It makes me live. When I shouldn't be living." She grabbed his hand off her shoulder and pressed it between her breasts. She held his palm hard against her. "I told you my heart doesn't beat. Why can't you understand? I'm an abomination. My whole family's infected. I used to be human; I'm not anymore.”
Ryan felt her chest through her shirt, felt the bones, the flesh so cool to his touch. And she was right, there was no movement there, no heartbeat. Something, deep in his mind shuddered, but he didn't pull his hand away.
He had to say something. If she'd bared her fangs and gone for his throat, he thought he would have leaned to the side so she could reach the flesh easier. If he couldn't have her, he didn't want anyone.
"I love you, Dell." He was surprised he'd said it, but it was what he'd wanted to say all day.
She slumped against him, her head against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her. "I can't help it, Dell. I love you. I've never felt this way about anyone before. I've had girlfriends and that's all they were. As soon as I transferred here and saw you in class, as soon as I kissed you . . . I knew. There's nothing you can tell me that will change what I feel for you.”
"This will never work out, Ryan. It causes trouble. It causes all kinds of problems. You need to think about that. I've seen a woman imprisoned on the other side of the world because she loved a man. A mortal. She lost her mind over him. You're mortal, Ryan, I'm not."
"We'll deal with the problems as they come along. That's all we can do, that's all everyone does. You care for me, too, I know it." When she didn't speak, he raised her face from his chest and looked at her closely. "You care for me, too, don't you, Dell?"
"Yes," she whispered.
He leaned down and kissed her, holding her tight to him. He buried his face in her tangled, fragrant hair at the side of her neck. "I don't care about anything," he said, "but loving you."
Dell held onto him for a moment before pulling away. She glowered into the twilight at the street.
"What's wrong?" Ryan asked. He'd never seen that look on her face before.
"Someone's watching us."
He looked across the street at the houses there, but didn't see anyone. "Who?"
"I don't know, but someone. I feel it." She pushed at his chest a little with her fingertips. "You should go."
"All right, but remember what I said. I won't give up on you, Dell."
Her gaze softened and she quickly kissed his lips once more. "We're both crazy," she said.
"You more than me." He smiled.
She pushed him again, more playfully, and he stumbled off the steps. "Okay
, okay, I'm going."
As he left, he saw her scanning the street and the houses in the neighborhood, the scowl back on her face.
~*~
"I want you to get him for me," Upton said to George.
They sat in the limo down the street from Dell's house. They had seen the young couple embrace. He and George had followed the girl from one side of town to the other. They had followed her to school and home again. While waiting, making plans, they had seen the boy drive up and park. When the girl came outside with him, Upton knew it was his opportunity. "You have to get him," he repeated. "I don't know if the boy is vampire, but if he isn't, he'll be easier to handle. The girl will do what you say if you get her boyfriend."
"How do I get him, sir?"
"Get out of the car, you idiot, and get over there. When the boy starts to leave, call to him. Ask him for directions or something, I don't care what you do, but get close and get him. Bring him to the car. We're taking him with us."
"Yes, sir."
Upton sat back and watched. He saw George start for the house, saw the boy turn and walk toward his car. George reached the girl's front yard by that time. He saw him gesturing to the boy, luring him down the steps and to the edge of the sidewalk.
It would all be in Upton's control soon. He'd have the power. He'd make the girl turn him into a vampire. He'd threaten her with fire, with decapitation, with harm to her boyfriend, her family, whatever it took. He would have his way or she would die, he meant it. He hadn't come this far and invested this much time and energy in order to fail. He had so little time left. He could feel his disease ravaging him daily. He was nearly to the point of needing a wheelchair. He never slept, aching all through the night. He had more sores that would not heal; they were breaking out now on his back and spreading around his rib cage to his chest. He'd soon get some horrible infection that would kill him long before his disease ever got a chance to.
LEGIONS OF THE DARK (VAMPIRE NATIONS CHRONICLES) Page 24
