by P. Jameson
“Dude, I spanked your ass,” Diz gloated.
Surge looked stunned. “What? Out there?”
“Yeah, out there. You lost, man.” Diz shook his head, looking at his alpha, Drake, for back up. Not that he needed any. The entire place saw him win.
“Nahhh,” Surge argued. “I never lose, I only run out of laps and time.” He caught Tana’s gaze and winked, causing a ripple of excitement in her chest.
Damn. Winking was apparently a weakness of hers.
Diz laughed. “Sure, sure. Whatever it takes to make you feel better. I fed you mud. You can’t deny it.”
“Okay, alright. Everyone bring it in.” Drake grinned, holding Ella’s hand with his in front of him. Punk and Beast added their hands to the mix, followed by Blister and Annie. Drake didn’t wait for Surge and Diz before he started their chant. “Dirt track life.”
“Huh!” they said in unison.
“Dirt track love.”
“Huh!”
“Dirt track dawgs.”
“Win!”
“Dirt Track Dogs.”
“Win!”
And then in one obnoxious voice, they howled, “Owoooooooooo!” and erupted in cheers.
Tana couldn’t help the grin widening her face. The wolves made her rethink what it meant to be part of a group. It wasn’t like this in the Ouachitas. The cats tolerated each other. They didn’t… care about each other like the wolves did. Most big cats were loners. But maybe they just didn’t know what it was like to be part of a pack that cared.
Her teeth came down on her lip as she contemplated her own situation.
Until arriving in Cedar Valley and spending time with the dogs, she hadn’t realized how appealing pack life was. Maybe she was just aching to find her place in life. Her purpose. Her future. A future she could embrace instead of one she feared and despised.
But she didn’t have to worry about her intended anymore. He was gone. For good. Owyn had ripped his head from his body while she’d lain bloody on the ground from her injuries. Then he’d carried her to Doc Davis in the nick of time. Seconds later and she might have died from the attack.
He’d saved her life. She should treat him better. He was a good cat. But he’d seen her at her weakest, and so she felt like she needed to continually remind him of her strength. They fought constantly now. She had hoped he’d go home with Renner and leave Ryan in Cedar Valley with her. But instead he did that over-protective mock big brother thing where he goes wherever she goes. It was annoying as hell considering he wasn’t her brother.
Guilt niggled at her. Owyn wasn’t here celebrating the Dogs’ win. He was probably shut in the room he temporarily shared with Diz above the shop. Sulking. Because she’d ripped him a new asshole over the foundation mistake. She shouldn’t have. It wasn’t like he made mistakes often. He was careful. Too careful usually.
Tana shrugged off her unease.
Owyn wasn’t the type to party anyway. He was quiet and preferred his solitude. He’d be over their argument by morning.
As the others started scraping mud off the cars, Tana slipped away. She wasn’t part of them. Not yet. Probably not ever. Besides she had to work early in the morning. The faster she finished Beast and Punk’s house, the faster she could get back to the Ouachitas.
Back to her emotionally distant clanmates and less exciting lodge living.
Back to normal.
Me-ow.
Chapter Three
The cars were scraped and on their way back to the club. Surge had made his rounds and chatted up the locals. He’d been all over that speedway, but he’d lost sight of Tana. Now people were clearing out and he had to assume she was gone.
He grinned to himself. Good thing they were staying in the same house. He’d catch her at home. Maybe they could talk. They hadn’t done enough of that since she’d arrived. Hardly any in fact. And mostly just passing conversation. Today at the build site was the first time he’d had a chance to explain his laughing issue.
He probably seemed like an epic asshole, but what could he do. He’d stopped apologizing for his outbursts a long time ago. He wouldn’t be sorry for who he was. Not when who he was, was pretty damn decent.
A little exuberance here and there never hurt a thing.
Diz hopped in the back of the truck and Surge guided it through town. The heat hadn’t let up even with the setting of the sun, and the leftover humidity still felt like it reached through the open window and punched him in the face. What he wouldn’t give to have been born in a cooler place. Wyoming maybe. Or hell, Alaska.
Once he was past the main drag, he gunned it. Might as well hit Diz with some country-boy air conditioner. A thankful heeyah, accompanied by a thump on the rear window told Surge he’d had the right idea.
As he drove, he let himself think about Tana.
She was distant when it came to socializing. But it seemed all the cats were. Even Renner hadn’t taken to Surge’s outgoing behavior.
He shrugged to himself. You win some, you lose some.
But he wouldn’t lose Tana. He’d ease into it. Get her talking. Let her know he was interested in what she had to say. Because he fucking was. Any word from her cute little lips he’d hang on. He wanted to know her. See who she really was underneath all that sass.
Maybe then he could come to terms with the way she set his heart all a-flutter anytime she looked at him.
He laughed, pressing his palm to his chest.
She gave him fucking butterflies. He could never tell the guys.
Up the road, he saw red lights flashing, sending all kinds of alarm straight to his gut. They were tail lights. Hazard lights on a fancy Ford pickup. A vehicle he recognized.
“Fuck.”
Surge sped ahead, slamming on his brakes when he reached it. He heard a thump and then Diz’s muttered curse as he flung the driver side door open and ran forward.
The door of Tana’s truck was left wide open and she wasn’t in the cab.
“Tana,” he called, his voice booming and sharp with fear.
“Shhh.”
He followed the sound to the front of the truck, ignoring Diz hollering. There was his kitty, kneeling on the asphalt, and he smelled the rank odor of blood.
Fucking shit. No, no, no.
Everything inside him went cold as horrible memories assaulted him. He’d been human. Or at least he’d thought so. He hadn’t known about the animal that hid inside him. Hadn’t understood the way the animal pushed him, urged him, to do things he didn’t comprehend.
Like the night the fire began.
He was barely seventeen. Fresh out of high school. A school two counties to the east. He’d been part of Johnson County’s volunteer fire department for two years already. People didn’t blink at a fifteen-year-old who was willing to help spray water in a pinch. But when shit got serious, when an entire forest lit up and not even the professionals could contain it…
The urge to get to Clark County and save someone was unbearable. When he sat in his room watching the news coverage he’d felt sick deep in his gut. Wrong, wrong, wrong. He needed to do something. Protect. Guard.
The urge was stronger than anything he’d ever experienced in his young life. He’d enjoyed sex. Lots of it. Craved it more than seemed normal for a man his age. But this was worse. Something primal and life-altering.
He’d started to feel crazy. His skin grew tight and itchy. Then the hallucinations began. A faceless woman and a wolf. They flickered back and forth across his vision like some strange glitching movie that he couldn’t turn off. A signal, warning him to act, to do something before it was too late.
Describing what was happening to his mom changed the whole course of his life. All she’d said was, “Go. Go now, Brandon. Let your instinct guide you.”
He’d frowned, confused, but she didn’t offer any more of an explanation. It was the last time he ever saw his mother. The fire changed him, made him a different man. A man paired with a wolf, who’d lost everything befo
re he even knew he had it.
He couldn’t let it happen again. He couldn’t lose the thing that could make him whole before he’d even had a chance to realize their potential.
Surge stared down at Tana, the fear bubbling in his chest until it came out as a choked laugh. Shit, not now.
Charging forward, he knelt next to her, realizing though she was covered in it, the blood wasn’t hers. Her head swung around, eyes glowing, readying for a change, and she hissed. She was still in human form but that sound of warning was fucking feral, and sent a chill from his top to his toes.
She let out another hiss and Surge threw his hands up, backing away slightly.
“Tana,” he rasped, needing her to see that he felt the seriousness of the situation even if his reaction didn’t show it, “let me help.”
Diz’s boots pounded against the pavement as he approached. “Oh… shit.”
A large bobcat lay mangled and bloody on the road nearby. Dead. Blood coated the front left tire of Tana’s truck. She’d hit it. Pain lanced Surge’s chest at the idea of injuring another animal like this. But as bad as that was, it wasn’t the worst part.
Cradled in Tana’s arms was a tiny shivering kitten.
“They came out of nowhere,” she whispered, her breath hitching.
Surge slowly reached a hand toward her. “It’s okay. It was an accident.”
A sob burst forth as she shook her head so hard her hair slapped against the side of her face. “No. No, it’s not okay. Don’t you smell it?”
The blood? “Yes, I know. The mama’s dead, but the kitt—”
“No,” Tana interrupted. “Not that.”
Surge inhaled deeply, he heard Diz doing the same behind him. There was something odd in the air. Something he couldn’t place.
Tana’s gaze dropped to the tiny animal in her arms. “They’re shifters.”
Holy shit.
Dread hit Surge hard enough that his legs gave out and his ass hit the ground.
“I killed a shifter. This kitten is a shifter. A… a baby. And I killed her mother.” Her voice became more and more frantic, but Surge couldn’t breathe.
There weren’t any other shifter in Cedar Valley. What was a small cat doing here? And were there others?
Diz was already on the phone shouting their location to whoever was on the other end. He hung up and started yanking his clothes off, throwing them in Tana’s truck.
“I’m going to scout the area, you got this?” He jutted his chin in Tana’s direction.
Surge nodded, and Diz shifted, his wolf springing forth with a snarl that made the kitten jump. Surge sent him a glare, and he chuffed in apology before running into the trees along the side of the road.
Tears streamed down Tana’s cheeks. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
“This isn’t your fault,” Surge croaked. “A shifter knows to be careful about public roads, Tana.”
“I know. It doesn’t make sense. She had the baby by the scruff, and just… ran right in front of me.” The despair in her voice lashed him.
“But… the baby shouldn’t even be a kitten yet.”
Tana went still. She turned to him, frowning. “You’re right. Shifters don’t turn until puberty.”
Or sometimes later, like in his case. And Ella’s, since they’d both been shades—shifters raised as humans. But an animal manifesting this young was unheard of. There was only one explanation and the idea made him angry and sad all at the same time.
“If the kitten was in mortal danger, its animal would’ve surfaced in an attempt to protect her.”
Tana shook her head. “What danger? She was with her mother until I…” She shivered as her words cut off.
“Maybe her mother was the danger,” he suggested quietly. It was really the only thing that made sense.
“No. No, that’s not possible.” She stared down at the bloody little bundle as the kitten’s eyes started to drift closed.
“You said she ran in front of you. A regular animal might do that, but a shifter? A shifter knows better.”
Tana shook her head in disbelief, her voice merely a breath. “No. You think she did this on purpose?”
“It makes sense,” Surge said gently.
The roar of an approaching vehicle distracted him. If it wasn’t one of the dogs, he’d have to get Tana and the kitten out of there. Headlights blinded him, but the screech of the tires as they came to a stop assured him it was one of theirs.
Ella ran forward, a backpack slung over her shoulder. “How bad is it?” she asked, kneeling between Surge and Tana, and gently sliding the kitten from Tana’s grasp to the pavement.
“I-I don’t know,” Tana answered, unwilling to completely separate from the baby shifter. “There’s a lot of blood, but the kitten crawled to me.”
“Blood could be the mother’s,” Ella murmured, digging through her bag and retrieving a bottle of antiseptic. “Drake, check the other one.”
Surge watched in a daze as his alpha knelt beside the mangled body, shaking his head. “She’s gone. Shit.”
Ella wet some gauze and began cleaning the blood from the kitten’s fur. “This one’s going to be fine. I can tell by the way she’s clawing the hell out of my arm.”
A sharp mewl had Surge rising to his knees, hovering over Ella as she worked. “Don’t hurt her,” he snapped.
“She’s not hurting me really—”
“Not you!” Surge and Tana said at the same time.
Ella looked up at them. “Oh. Right. I promise I’m being as careful as I can, but I need to check for injuries.” She didn’t wait for them to respond before she went back to attending the baby.
Another heartbreaking meow made Surge want to pick Ella up and throw her across the road. The poor damn baby had been through enough. Now she was poked and prodded when all she probably wanted was to be held and petted.
He glanced at Tana. Her fists were clenched tight, claws likely digging into her palms, and those cat eyes still glowed. Reaching for her hand had bad idea written all the fuck over it, but if he could help her at all right now, a few scratches would be worth it. The first brush of his fingers against her shaking fist caused her to jerk in surprise, but he held his ground, meeting her fierce gaze and willing her to see his intention.
He cared.
They hardly knew each other but that didn’t keep him from feeling a connection with her, and it didn’t keep him from being concerned when she was in distress.
His wolf struggled inside, grappling with the proper reaction. Instinct made him want to laugh, fight, and protect all at the same time, but Surge was determined not to fuck up the situation more than it already was.
Gently, he pried her fingers open and tucked her hand in his.
Turning his attention back to the baby, he watched as Ella pressed on her belly before digging in the backpack and coming out with a small blanket. “Let’s get her back to the club where I can see better.”
She wrapped the kitten lightly, and held her out to Tana who pulled her hand free to cradle the tiny bundle.
Drake had already wrapped the mother bobcat in a towel and carried her to his truck.
Surge swallowed the lump in his throat.
Fucking shit, this was bad. The idea that under certain circumstances, it could be any one of them lying dead in the back of the truck.
He got to his feet just as a laugh burst forth. Shaking his head, he paced off a few laps, but the sound wouldn’t quit. His fucking wolf wouldn’t quit. But this time, there was no mistaking the sound for anything other than a physical manifestation of stress. It was frightening. A sound of nervous fear. Sad. Scared.
He sounded scared. Goddamn it.
“Surge,” Drake barked, causing him to come up short. But his gaze didn’t land on his alpha even with all the authority he’d packed into that one word.
No, his attention was on Tana. Her guarded expression was what grounded him, brought him back from the edge. She needed him even if she didn
’t realize it, and he needed to prove himself to her.
“You carry the baby,” Surge told her, his voice sounding a lot more solid than he actually felt. “I’ll drive you.”
“And I’ve got your truck,” Drake said, tossing his keys to Ella.
“What about Diz?” Tana asked, carefully standing with the injured cat.
“Diz knows the way home. Besides, Beast is out there too.”
Surge helped Tana in the truck and then ran around the front. Inside, he took a deep breath, memorizing the kitten’s scent in case he ever needed to track it. In the closed cab, it mixed with Tana’s making something unique that comforted his wolf.
With shaking hands gripping the wheel, he pulled past the grisly spot on the blacktop, and hurried toward DTD.
Home. They just needed to get home, and then everything would be okay.
Chapter Four
It was tiny. So small, it barely spilled over the palm of Tana’s hand. Small and fragile and now, alone. The precious kitten was alone in the world because of her. How was she going to live with what she’d done? Sure, it was an accident. And maybe Surge was right. Maybe the kitten’s mother had a death wish. But that didn’t—and wouldn’t ever—alleviate Tana’s guilt.
Hours had passed, and the big house was quiet. Not empty. Just quiet.
The baby was going to be alright. Ella said with rest, she’d heal. And when her animal was sure she was clear of danger, she’d turn back into an infant.
Until then, she was going to stay in Tana’s arms. The least she could do was take care of the poor thing until she was better.
She shifted on the couch to get more comfortable.
Owyn broke his pacing and stalked forward. “Here, let me hold her for a while. You need a break.”
“No,” Tana snapped. “I’m fine.”
He threw his hands up in frustration and went back to pacing. He’d already called home and told Magic what happened. She could just imagine their leader yanking at his hair like some CEO in a stressed economy. As if the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Except Magic’s concern never made sense. He didn’t even consider himself their leader. They were just a group of cats that worked together, as he liked to say.
