by P. Jameson
Damn houseplant. The shame of it would haunt him for eternity.
But it was different with Tana. The wolf hesitated when it came to her. Like she confused him. But Surge was determined. Somehow he knew she was the one for him.
He cleared his throat. Time to get serious.
“My intended died in the fire. She was part of Drake’s old pack. Barely more than a young. Same as me. But see, I didn’t know her. Didn’t even know fated mates existed.”
“How could you not know?” Tana’s voice was careful, he’d clearly stunned her with his confession.
Grabbing her gaze, he tried his best to explain. “Shifters weren’t even on my radar. I was raised as a human. Didn’t know I was anything more.”
A frown creased her brow. “A shade?”
Surge nodded, a random laugh escaping.
“What happened?”
“My animal knew something was wrong, and started pushing me. I kept seeing visions of her face, and this… instinct rode me. Rode me hard. To save her. To get to her before it was too late.” He laughed a sad sound. “I was so young. Barely out of high school. Had no fucking idea what was happening to me. But I followed my instinct. Let my wolf guide me. Except when I got to that mountain, there was no one left but the boys.”
“Damn,” Tana breathed, her shoulders sagging with the weight of what he’d revealed.
“I was half out of my mind because I’d never shifted. My wolf wanted out so it could protect its mate, and I was fighting it with everything in me because I didn’t fucking know better. Drake and the guys dragged me back down the mountain because like a fool, I was running into the flames instead of running away. It was only later that we figured out what I was. And why I was climbing a burning mountain.”
“Shit.”
“Years later when I’d gotten used to my animal, when I’d leveled out a little. Drake sat down with me and we figured out who she was. I described the girl I saw in my visions down to the scar on her forearm, and he knew. Her name was…”
Well, damn. He hadn’t spoken her name in years. No reason to. He’d mourned a person he never even knew. He’d let her and what could have been, go. He’d healed, even though he hadn’t lost loved ones like the other guys. He’d lost a potential loved one. It was different, though none of his packmates knew it. None except Drake.
It was hard when Diz liked to speculate about the future. The way he talked about Surge finding his intended, it made him feel like he was hiding the truth from them. But it wasn’t like anyone else opened up about their losses, so why would he?
“Her name was Vance. Short for something long and obnoxious, but Drake couldn’t remember what.”
“Fuck. I mean, damn, all I can manage right now is one word curses. I just…”
Surge let a soft laugh fill the blank space. Why not?
“I’m sorry,” Tana murmured.
“No need. I didn’t know her. I didn’t love her, though I probably would have, given time. But the path my life took started way before I was born. I never had a choice. For whatever reason my mother, who was human, decided to hide my shifter side, and this is the result.” He stared at Tana, her beautiful face troubled. “This time though, I have a choice. I decide who I want, who I mate.”
Her voice was small as she stared back at him. “But it will never be what it could have been, if you’d had your intended.”
“I don’t believe that. And I don’t live by what-ifs. The past haunts us, but it doesn’t make us its bitch.” It’s why he embraced his laugh and his crazy-ass wolf. He wouldn’t let his circumstances define him.
Her lips lifted in a genuine grin. Not sarcastic. Not the kind she used to keep him at a distance. A real one, and it made his heart pound in his chest until another laugh released. This one felt good though. Really damn good.
“Okay, okay. Your turn, baby girl.”
She shook her head. “You sure you need to hear this? It’s really not a nice story.”
“I can take it.”
She sighed. “My mate—I never knew his name—came to claim me. I didn’t want it. I fought him. But the more I fought, the more determined he seemed. I injured him, got him in the balls, and when I did…” She shook her head, lifting her shirt. “He did this.”
Surge’s mouth went dry as he stared at what the bastard had done to her. Three, one inch wide claw marks slashed across the smooth dark skin of her stomach, starting at her ribs and disappearing beneath the waistband of her low slung jeans.
He rushed forward to examine her wounds, barely able to conceal the growl hiding in his throat. The sight made him fucking furious. That any male would do this to their intended. The sick piece of shit had better be doing time in hell right now.
“Does it hurt?”
“Not really. Not anymore.”
Slowly, he reached forward to brush his fingers along the raised skin, and she didn’t flinch away. Touching her like this felt a hundred times more intimate than anything he’d ever experienced.
“Your mate did this to you,” he whispered in disbelief. “How could he? How the fuck does a shifter injure their own like this? Any of those guys in there would die before letting their woman be hurt.”
She let out a slow breath Surge hadn’t realized she’d been holding. “Not every man is like them.” She dropped her shirt, but he didn’t move his hands from her belly.
“Tell me the rest,” he said, dragging his hand softly across her torso and back. She seemed to relax, the tension in her shoulders easing.
“As you can imagine, I was hurt badly. Internal organs had been sliced and I was close to a total bleed out. As I laid there, he attempted to use our bond to heal himself but it wasn’t strong enough, having just met. And that’s when Owyn found us.”
Owyn. That explained their tumultuous friendship.
“He tore that asshole’s head off and carried me to his clan’s doctor. The rest is history.”
She fought with Owyn because her panther knew he was responsible for her mate’s death. But Tana seemed grateful. She was at odds with her cat, and Surge knew exactly what that felt like.
Shit. It felt like shit wrapped in shit wrapping paper, tied with a shit bow.
Surge continued rubbing her belly because the touch anchored him. Made him feel less wild. Made him want to stay right there in that kitchen instead of cackling while he found something to destroy with his anger over what had been done to her.
And she liked it too. With every pass of his hand, she melted a little more, softening to him.
Soon, he was going to make her purr. Very soon.
“I’m glad he’s dead,” he said, his voice sharpened with barely repressed rage. “I should buy Owyn a drink. Or ten.”
“It was a long time ago. Like you said, the past is the past.”
“Yeah. And the future is whatever we want it to be.”
She stiffened suddenly, and Surge pulled his hand away just as Owyn shoved past the kitchen door.
“The female is going to live,” he announced, eyeing Surge warily.
Tana gasped in relief. “Good. God, that’s damn good news.”
Surge agreed. “Damn good.”
Now maybe they could find out what happened to their baby’s clan.
Chapter Six
It was dark enough to still be night, but close enough to daylight to be called morning. Surge fell asleep on the couch, holding the kitten, but Tana had taken it to bed with her for her watch. Now she needed feeding again.
Her tiny mews would wake the dogs with their delicate ears, but what could Tana do? Carefully, she opened the door of the bedroom she stayed in, and tiptoed through the living room.
Right on cue Surge sat up, rubbing sleep from his eyes. “Baby need feeding?” he asked groggily.
“Shh. Go back to sleep,” she whispered. “I’ve got this.”
“I’ll help.” He stumbled to his feet, and she started to protest, but he was already halfway to the kitchen.
&n
bsp; She rocked the crying baby while Surge started warming milk. He ran a hand through his buzzed hair, the muscles of his arms flexing around his t-shirt. The drowsy look was good on him. Sexy really. His skin was flushed. He looked warm and snuggly. She wouldn’t mind waking up to that.
The kitten mewed, growing louder with each second she had to wait.
Surge chuckled softly. His voice husky from sleep, made her shiver until it seemed like each tone stroked her skin.
“Be patient, little one,” he murmured before reaching out to scratch under the kitten’s chin. His blue eyes found Tana. “How’d you sleep?”
She smiled at his question. He’d asked her that very thing every morning since she’d arrived at DTD. It surprised her at first, that one of these tough wolves would bother with niceties. But now she wondered if he asked because he actually cared.
“Not so great,” she admitted. “I was worried about the kitten.”
“You know, we should probably call her something other than ‘the kitten’.”
But they wouldn’t know her name until the other female woke. And that wouldn’t be happening anytime soon.
The bobcat Diz found in the woods was hurt so bad, Ella had decided to sedate her in hopes that her animal could heal faster. She’d be bedbound for a while. Diz and the others would take turns watching over her until she was in the clear.
“Let’s give our girl a name,” Surge suggested past a yawn.
“But she probably already has a name.”
“True. But we don’t know what it is.”
Tana observed the baby, who was close to panicking now.
Surge grinned and deepened his voice to a formal tone. “She’s the picture of elegance and class. She’s not losing her shit in a pinch. No, sir.”
A laugh burst from Tana’s throat as the kitten cried louder.
“We should call her Grace,” Surge said with a nod, as he checked the milk. “It suits her.”
“Grace. What a beautiful name.” She stared down at the kitten. It really did suit her. Even losing her shit—as Surge put it—she was beautiful with her multicolored fur and the delicate tips on her ears. “I like it.”
Surge expertly filled the syringe Ella had given them with warm milk and brought it over, placing the tip against Grace’s lips. Her cries quieted as she began rooting for her meal. Patiently, he pressed the plunger in tiny increments while Tana held her head. It would be rough until the vet opened so they could get a small enough bottle. But Grace was one tough kitty already, and she’d taken the syringe without much of a problem earlier.
“You’re good at this,” Tana murmured as Grace calmed even more, her small body relaxing.
Surge smirked. “I’m patient when I need to be.”
“That right?”
“Mm Hm.”
When the syringe was empty, he pulled away to refill it while Grace let them know she was in no way finished yet.
Diz stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes. “She okay?” he asked.
Tana nodded. “Yeah, just hungry.”
“Well, shouldn’t you feed her,” he snapped.
Surge jerked his head around. “What do you think we’re doing?”
“Maybe you’re not going fast enough then. She’s crying.” He flung his arm at Grace.
Surge frowned. “Hey, asshole, get a cup of coffee and chill the fuck out, will ya?” He brought the milk back to Grace’s eager mouth. “She’s had a full syringe already. She just wanted seconds is all.”
Diz followed Surge’s advice, popping a K-cup into the coffee maker while he grumbled under his breath.
“How’s the female?” Tana asked him.
He shook his head. “Still critical. Ella says this first week will be hard. Beast and Punk are with her now.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah. If she doesn’t…” he hesitated, grinding his molars together, “make it, we won’t know where to return the kitten. She’ll have no one.”
“Grace,” Surge interrupted. “We’ve named her Grace. And she won’t have no one. She’ll have us.”
“Us?” Diz scoffed. “What, a bunch of wolves are supposed to raise a bobcat?”
Surge frowned but didn’t answer.
Tana chewed her cheek, thinking of Grace’s future. So much hung in the balance, but the idea that the little girl could end up without a clan to support her left Tana feeling conflicted. On one hand, she’d be better off not subjected to the cats’ sordid mating rituals. Yeah, really she’d do better with the wolves, learning their ways. But then… what would become of her when her intended sought her out?
Grace pulled away from the syringe looking milk drowsy.
“She’s done,” Surge murmured, petting Grace’s head as her eyes drifted closed. His hands were worn and calloused—just like Tana’s were—but they weren’t clumsy. He knew exactly where to pet Grace to make her relax.
His actions came off as nurturing, and it must be a trait that came natural to him since he liked to take care of his pack. Come to think of it, he was always looking out for someone. Tana, every morning to see how she’d slept. His packmates, to make sure they were fed before racing. Beast and Punk, urging them to build a house they could have a family in. Blister, encouraging him to make his home with his mate. Even Diz when he’d snapped at them earlier, who looked a little better off since having coffee.
Surge would make a damn good father.
Protective, yet gentle. Funny, yet stern. Patient, kind, and understanding.
Grace could do worse. And if it turned out her clan couldn’t be found, she’d be just fine here with this badass group of dogs and their mates.
Hell, Tana was beginning to wish they’d just go ahead and adopt her too. Would they take a grown female panther?
Or was that too much to ask?
***
“What about this?” Surge asked, holding up a toy rattle that had ten different animal sounds and flashing lights. “This thing is badass.”
They’d needed supplies, and the closest Walmart was in the next town over. Surge hardly ever shopped the big store. He preferred to stay local, and Cedar Valley had plenty of small mom and pop stores to choose from. But then again, he’d never shopped for a baby.
“No.” Tana shook her head, leaving no room for argument.
“Why not? It makes animal noises. There’s a dog and a cat. And the lights. She’d love it.”
Tana grabbed it from his hands and hit the button on the side. An ear-piercing meow, meow, meow blasted from the toy. She raised an eyebrow as if her point was proven.
A flutter in his chest had him feeling automatically lighter. She was damn cute when she thought she’d won an argument, but how did she do that to him? Make his chest feel warm and mushy?
Surge shrugged. “So? It’s loud. I’m loud and everyone seems okay with me.”
She laughed, shaking her head, and returned the toy to the shelf. “That’s irrelevant.”
“What? My logic is sound, woman.”
She walked ahead of him, bending to look at the diapers. They’d need them as soon as little Gracie decided to be human again. “In my world, we don’t call that logic.”
“Listen, as much as I want to live in your world, I have to disagree.” He tossed the toy into the cart when she wasn’t looking.
“What size diapers should we get?”
“Hell if I know. Just buy a pack of each.”
“Good idea.”
As they walked the aisles of the baby department, Surge watched Tana closely. Every decision she made was carefully thought out. Which baby wash would be best for the little one. Which clothing would be more comfortable. What would make Grace feel most secure. It made Surge damn proud of her. And it also told him that she’d given some thought to being a mother.
She tossed a small blanket into the cart and then stood with her hands on her hips to face him. “Okay. I think we’ve got everything we need.”
Surge sighed. Her, in those cutoff
jean shorts… she was the stuff dreams were made of.
“You sure?”
He wouldn’t mind following her down a few more aisles. He was not even a little ashamed that he’d been blatantly checking out her ass the entire morning. He’d wanted her to catch him but she was too absorbed in her task. Which really just made him fall for her more.
“Well, no. Not really. This is my first time ever taking care of a young.”
Surge examined the cart. It was almost full. Surely they’d covered all their bases.
“Diapers, wipes, clothes, blankets, a bassinet, sheets, portable changing pad, formula, Pedia-whatever-the-hell-it-is, two kinds of pacifiers, pacifier clips, pacifier holders… fuck, I’m surprised they don’t make pacifiers for the pacifiers.” Surge shook his head. “I’m gonna go ahead and say I think we’re good here, yeah?”
Tana wrung her hands, her brow furrowed in worry. “I don’t know. You think?”
“Hmm, maybe we should check out the pet department?”
Her eyes grew wide and she grabbed his forearm squeezing. Um, yes. Surge likey.
“You’re right. Surge, you’re brilliant.”
He followed her as she hurried off. “I don’t think anyone’s accused me of being brilliant before. That’s a new one.”
After finding a few extra “necessities”, they were finally on their way out of the store.
He wasn’t paying attention to where he was going, too busy watching Tana’s long brown legs as they kept stride beside him. When they turned the corner for the exit doors, he pulled up short, barely managing not to run right over a small woman.
“Sorry, ma’am—”
She looked up at him with a friendly smile that faded to shock as soon as their eyes met.
Surge froze, his chest constricting as the past clashed with the present, completely throwing the future out of balance. Holy hell, this couldn’t be happening. Not now, with Tana right there to witness it.
“Brandon?” the woman whispered in disbelief. “Is it really you?”
He stared at his mother, and not even his wolf could respond. His voice, his mind, even his laugh was stolen from him in that moment.
She’d aged. But of course she had. It had been nearly twenty years. He’d aged too, but at a much, much slower rate thanks to his shifter side.
