by P. Jameson
Surge swallowed, his throat bobbing with the action. “I want absolutely fucking everything, baby. I want what my brothers have, and I want it with you. And this isn’t a new thing. I’ve wanted it from the moment you strolled into DTD with your fierce little attitude.”
She shook her head, heart constricting in her chest. The mere idea of having someone to share life with was enough to make her panther purr. To never be alone again. To laugh everyday like she had earlier. To share grief and joy and have mutual goals. It was all she’d ever wanted, yet knew she’d never have.
Tana squeezed her eyes closed. This was too much right now. And she could never commit to Surge without first making sure little Grace was taken care of. That couldn’t happen until the female bobcat came around.
“We should go inside. Check on Grace.”
His jaw tightened, but he nodded, releasing her hand. The separation felt all wrong. It made her stomach clench in warning. Made her cat itchy with panic.
But she had responsibilities. She couldn’t pretend with Surge. And she’d never lead him on.
The lump in her throat burned as he opened the door and got out of the truck, grabbing bags of supplies. She followed, uncomfortable with this somber version of him.
As soon as they walked into the big house, Tana realized something had changed.
Blister ran from the kitchen with a syringe in hand, past them to the back bedroom. Surge dropped the bags and they followed him.
To the sound of a screaming baby.
Grace!
The tiny room was full to the brim with people. Annie held little Grace—little human Grace—cooing and shushing her, but the baby only screeched louder. The rest of the dogs paced and shuffled, looking as though they needed something to kill. Fists and jaws clenching. Wolves close to shifting.
Grace had five knights in shining armor ready to fight any battle for her. Except she didn’t need them to defend her. What she needed was a bottle.
Tana ran back to the living room and rifled through the bags until she found the formula and a bottle. Reading the directions on the way to the kitchen, she hurried around the coffee table, banging her knee.
Coming, little Grace.
Quickly, she made the bottle, spilling formula powder on the counter in the process, and shook the hell out of it on the way back through the house.
But that wasn’t a good idea.
Milk sprayed from the plastic nipple, landing in her eye.
“Damn it.” Half blind, she stumbled through the bedroom door. “Got it! Here. This is what she needs.”
“Oh, thank god,” Annie breathed, standing and holding Grace out to Tana.
She froze. What was she supposed to do with a baby? One so tiny, at that. Somehow this was different than holding a kitten. What if she did something wrong? What if she dropped her? What if…
But this was no normal baby. She needed to remember that. Grace was a shifter. Strong, just because of her DNA.
She wouldn’t break.
Tana reached for her, cradling the red-faced human in her arms before offering the bottle. Grace took the nipple in her mouth and then immediately spit it out, screaming louder than before.
“Shhh,” Tana said softly. “It’s right there, little one. Try again. It won’t be like mama’s but it’s good for you. Try.”
She rubbed the tip against the baby’s lips until she got a little taste of the milk. Grace tried again and decided formula milk was better than no milk at all.
“There. That’s a good girl.”
There was a collective sigh of relief as Tana settled in the nearby chair, and Grace calmed even more.
“Damn,” Drake whispered. “That kitten’s got a sturdy set of lungs.”
Tana grinned, staring down at Grace. She was already a badass, telling these boys how it was. She was perfect. Thick dark hair covered her scalp and her pale skin was like a cream colored rose. Just enough pink to glow and softer than a breath.
Tears welled in Tana’s eyes. The baby was so damn sweet, she made Tana’s heart hurt. An overwhelming feeling of possessiveness came over her, and she tried to press it down. But she couldn’t help feeling like Grace was hers. Or should be hers.
Damn it. She wanted the kitten to belong to her. Wanted it more than she’d ever wanted anything.
She looked up to find Surge staring at them. Somber Surge. The one who wanted things she’d never be able to give him.
Absolutely fucking everything.
That was when she realized she wanted fucking everything too. The baby, the family, the companionship. The wolf.
She wanted it all.
Chapter Eight
The living room was littered with tools and boxes that once housed baby accessories. The women had taken Grace to have infant photos done at some fancy schmancy studio downtown while the dogs finished their project.
The one they’d started a week and a half ago.
But to be fair, it was several projects. They were building a crib, changing table, and dresser. And they’d added a few stationary toys in the mix. Grace would have everything she needed by the time they were done.
“Wait,” Diz said, frowning at the directions he insisted on reading. “I don’t think that piece goes there.”
“Damn it, what do you mean it doesn’t go there?” Surge scowled. “Of course it does. Look, see? It fits right in. Lock and key, baby.”
“One, don’t ever call me baby. Two, according to the directions, it doesn’t go there.”
Surge rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t calling you baby. It was a rhetorical.”
“Well, I don’t know about you two, but me and Beast are fucking killing the furniture building. Call the changing table done.” Drake smiled and high-fived Beast.
Diz’s jaw hung open, echoing Surge’s unspoken thoughts. “Are you kidding me, alpha? You just trying to be funny now? That thing wouldn’t hold a pet rock, let alone a baby.” He tossed Drake a booklet. “Try reading the instructions.”
Drake caught it frowning. “I’ve never had to read instructions. I don’t plan on starting now.”
“You damn well should,” Surge agreed. “My baby’s not laying on that thing until you fix it. Come to think of it, Diz, let me see those.” He yanked the directions from Diz’s hand and scanned them, looking for the correct piece to finish off the damn crib.
“Your baby?” Blister murmured from his place behind the couch where he’d been working on one toy for entirely way too long.
“Yes. Mine.”
“Yours?” Beast asked, confused.
“Yes, damn it. She’s mine. For now anyways.”
No one said anything and Surge didn’t look up from his instructions.
“She’s not actually yours,” Drake said carefully. “You know that right? You know you can’t just claim her as your young. We have to find her clan and return her. Along with that wounded one. When she wakes, this Three Men And A Baby shit ends.”
Surge raised his head to glare at his alpha. He didn’t anger easily. Never had. But his wolf had been aching all fucking week, confused and hurting like it was years ago. On edge and floundering because something had changed. Something extraordinary and life-altering had happened.
There was a bond. Two of them.
He didn’t know what to do about it. There wasn’t a pretty answer for how to save the kitten from the brutal cats and win over Tana. But he wasn’t letting anything get between him and what was his. Not this time. And if anyone would be able to understand that, it should be his goddamn motherfucking alpha.
“I don’t think so,” he rumbled. For once, his wolf was solid. On this, his animal was sure. The baby and Tana were his.
Drake cocked his head to the side, standing to face Surge. “What did you say to me?”
“The baby’s not going anywhere when that female wakes up. Her mother ran in front of a fucking truck. For god’s sake, what do you think they were running from?” His voice thundered, startling his packmates.
“I’m not sending them back to it. And so help me, neither are you.”
Drake fumed at Surge’s defiance, but he didn’t say a word.
“Maybe Surge is right,” Diz said, but Drake hit him with a singeing glare. “I’m just saying, the female was scared when I found her. Terrified. And I don’t think it had anything to do with being hurt. Arkansas. She said it over and over, like it was her last hope.”
Beast frowned. “Arkansas? But we know they aren’t from around here. Could they be from the Ouachitas?”
“No,” Blister said. “There aren’t any bobcat clans out there. Besides if they were, Tana would know them.”
Drake sighed in frustration. “We can’t just keep them. This isn’t a fucking lost and found. The clan will want their young. We already might be in deep shit over the accident.”
Bullshit. As awful as it was that the mama was gone, Tana couldn’t be blamed for that. The bobcat was an adult shifter who knew better than to run into the road. Carrying her baby. Exposing her young in such a way. No, Surge wouldn’t let anyone take this out on Tana.
“You know what the cats do to their mates?”
Drake frowned.
“Do you?”
“What are you talking about,” Diz asked impatiently.
“Forced claiming,” Surge spat. “The cats don’t give their females an option.”
Diz’s face turned hard, his nostrils flaring with rage. “Bullshit.”
“It’s true.” Owyn’s monotone voice came from the doorway. No one had seen the cat enter. “But it’s even worse than that. They mate to procreate, and once their female is with young, they find others to bed. As many as they want.”
Beast looked ill. “They aren’t monogamous?”
Owyn shook his head.
“What the hell are you saying ‘they’ for?” Blister ground out, his gaze burning a hole through Owyn. “Ain’t you a cat?”
“Because, asshole, my clan doesn’t do that shit. Figured you knew that, since you know Renner.”
“Magic’s people don’t mate like this?” Drake asked, still reeling from the revelation.
Owyn shrugged. “Our people don’t mate at all. Easy.”
“Easy?” Diz said skeptically.
“The alternative is rather fucked up, so yeah, it’s easy.”
“But… Renner?” Blister mumbled.
“He’s different. He’s the only mated panther in our clan and he’s absolutely dedicated to his female.” Owyn put his hands up. “Enough, okay. Surge is right. The baby’s future won’t be a happy one if you send her back to her clan. Just… think about it.”
With that, he left.
There was a moment of silence, fraught with tension before Drake spoke.
“I don’t know. What if the female doesn’t want to be here? We can’t make her stay. And shouldn’t the baby be raised by her kind? Maybe she’d be better off going home with Tana.”
Home? Tana?
Tana fucking was home. She just didn’t know it yet. And the guys didn’t either. No one suspected Surge’s feelings.
“We’re shifters. We are her kind,” Surge argued. “And that’s another thing… Tana, she’s mine too.”
Drake’s mouth became a thin line. His shoulders lost all fight. The look in his eyes spoke volumes. He thought Surge had finally gone off the deep end. Fallen right off the cliff of insanity and into straightjacket land.
Diz smacked Surge on the back and he turned to find his friend’s face cracked with a smile the size of the Grand-fucking Canyon. “No shit, man. Really? Tana. Your intended is a cat?”
“I didn’t know that was possible,” Beast murmured in awe.
Blister piped up. “Better watch the claws. That’s my piece of mated advice.”
Surge shook his head. Shit.
“It’s not like that. Not quite.” Surge’s gaze went to his alpha, and Drake threw his palms in the air.
“This is all you, Surgie boy.”
Of course it was. Damn it.
“What’s going on?” Diz asked, frowning.
“She’s not my intended. My…” Surge swallowed the words stuck in his throat, making room for new ones. Harder ones. His laugh struggled past the barrier, sounding sick. “My intended died in the fucking fire before I even knew what I was.”
There was silence while his confession sank in.
“Oh… fuck.” Diz ran one hand through his short hair. “Shit, Surge. I’ve been talking about you meeting yours for almost a year now. Why didn’t you fucking say something?” The apology was in his tone, and Surge didn’t want it. He didn’t want any of his boys feeling sorry for him. Diz looked at Drake. “Did you know about this?”
“Of course I knew,” their alpha said calmly.
Surge spoke up. “Look, it’s not like we sit around and shoot shit about our feelings. I didn’t tell you guys because it didn’t matter. Not in the grand scheme of things. What was done couldn’t be undone.”
“It matters,” Blister argued. “It matters a fucking lot. Losing your intended, Surge? Of course it matters. She’s the reason you laugh.”
“Yeah, well I have a new reason now. It’s Tana. It’s Grace. And this time I’m laughing for real. Not because I’m fucked inside.” Surge dropped the screwdriver he’d been gripping so hard he was sure he had a permanent Stanley imprint on his palm. “Look, I supported all of you when crazy ass shit went down with your mates. If you can’t do the same for me, then what the hell is this? It isn’t a pack, that’s for damn sure.”
He marched for the door, needing a good run. If his goddamn wolf could accept the cats, why couldn’t his brothers. Who knew he’d ever prefer the company of his eccentric animal to them.
“Surge, wait,” Beast called after him.
“No,” he growled, yanking the door open. “The cats are mine. Deal with it.”
He pushed through the entrance, into the blaring sunlight, shifting without bothering to remove his clothes. His wolf let out a chortle and shook out his black and brindled fur. He bounded down the steps toward the woods, intent on working off some steam. He’d prefer to work it out with Tana, but running would have to make do until he could convince his kitty he was what she needed.
And he would.
She belonged with him after all.
Chapter Nine
By the time Surge had run out his frustrations, the sun was setting, its golden fingers combing the trees as it said goodbye for the night. He watched it go as he walked back home, still on all fours.
The wind blew and he raised his nose to scent it, expecting small game or fowl. What he got was something infinitely more delicious. Dangerous. Lethal.
He doubled back, following the scent of danger. Hunting it. But danger was crafty. Behind him and then in front. Turning him in circles.
Surge growled, bounding forward in the direction of his prey. The scent stopped just underneath a sturdy oak. He went nose to the ground again, searching the area near the tree.
A loud snarl brought his attention upward.
There she was. His kitty. Crouched high up on a branch, looking sleek and sexy in her shifter body. Her black fur shone in the fading light of day, and her eyes were the same bronze that stole his breath in human form.
She was majestic.
She hissed in warning before flexing her powerful legs and leaping to the ground. But she didn’t land on the forest floor. Instead, she pounced directly on Surge, rolling with him until he ended up on top.
His throat rumbled with a satisfied growl as he pressed his snout against her neck, inhaling her slightly altered scent. He nipped her shoulder with his fangs and licked her face, ignoring the claws digging into his flank. Moving his tongue to her neck, he kept licking, calming her, showing her he was in control.
She erupted in a purr, her throat rumbling deliciously against his tongue. The air around them changed slightly, and Tana shifted beneath him, coming back to her human body, but all Surge wanted was to keep smelling and tasting a
nd feeling her. His mate. She had to be his. Soon.
She gripped his fur. “Turn,” she rasped. “Turn.”
He pushed his animal back, shivering until his body was human again. Human and naked, pressed against her bare body, his length hardening between them.
Oh damn, her skin was soft. Her breasts were firm and round, dark nipples grazing his chest.
“What are you doing out here, kitty cat?”
She shrugged one strong shoulder. “My animal needed some down time.” She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth, eyeing him. “I came home to see all of the baby stuff assembled and sitting pretty in Grace’s room, but you were nowhere to be found.”
Huh. Those crazy bastards had finished the job without him. He’d check it all when he got back. Make sure it was safe.
“They said I should come find you.”
Surge stared at her lips while she spoke. “They did huh?”
Tana nodded, her thick curly hair catching a leaf from the ground. He reached up and pulled it free.
“What happened?” she asked carefully.
Surge sighed. “Maybe we shouldn’t have this conversation naked.”
He pulled back, and Tana leaned up, resting on her elbows. “Well, I don’t see any clothes lying around, and I’d like to know what’s up. So?”
He shook his head, still raw from the incident earlier. “Later.”
But her hand landed gently on his chest and stopped him from retreating further. Her touch made his wolf go completely still. As if in wonder. It wasn’t the first time she’d touched him. Wasn’t the first time he’d been amazed by the power. He wondered if every touch would affect him this way.
Dear Lord, let it be so.
“Surge, please. Talk to me.”
Damn it. The timing was all wrong. He’d let too much out the last time they’d talked about the future. Told her his desires before she was willing to hear them.
A calculating grin curved her lips. “I know. How about we make a deal?”
“I’m listening.”
“One kiss for every secret you reveal.”
His jaw went slack. A kiss. They hadn’t had their first kiss yet. Not erm, on the lips anyway. Not uh, on the mouth lips.
