by Shay Savage
“About what? Concerned someone will think I’m a prostitute?”
Rocco stops and looks at me, shaking his head wildly, and I laugh a second time. He blushes again, shakes his head, and takes me down the hall to his room. He opens the door and quickly closes it once we’re inside. My eyes begin to adjust to the low light, and I stare at everything around me, mouth open.
“Oh my god, Roc!”
Rocco cringes, and for a moment, he looks like he wants to cry. Realizing my mistake, I quickly grab his hand and pull him close to me.
“I love your place!”
“Y-you do?”
“God, yes! It’s like a goth dream room! Grey and black sheets, blackout curtains in black, no less—it’s fucking awesome!”
“You really think so?”
I continue to stare around the room, taking it all in. It’s a little sparse—nothing on the walls and no rug on the floor—but the dark colors and straight lines are fantastic.
“Yes, I do. It’s fabulous. And those curtains mean we might actually get a bit of sleep tonight, er, this morning.” I grin at him before I kiss him soundly on the lips.
Rocco blushes and ducks his head. It’s a habit of his I’d like to break, but at the same time, I find it endearing. I run my hand through his hair, gathering it up at the back of his head and pulling him down to kiss him more soundly.
“If I don’t lie down soon,” I say, “I’m going to fall over.”
Rocco chuckles.
“Me too,” he says. “Do you…uh, need anything?”
“Like what?”
“Um…water? The bathroom is down the hall if you need that.”
“I went before we left Power Exchange,” I say. “I’ll take a water though.”
Rocco pulls a bottle of water out of a tiny refrigerator and hands it to me. Then he excuses himself to the bathroom and shuffles out the door and down the hallway. I quickly untie my corset and remove my skirt before climbing into the bed. It’s ridiculously comfortable, and I wonder what kind of mattress Rocco has. I pull the blankets up and snuggle against the pillow. My eyes are heavy, but I refuse to let myself drop off before Rocco returns.
A couple of minutes later, he’s standing in the doorway, staring with his mouth open at the pile of clothes I left on the floor.
“What are you doing?” I ask when he doesn’t move.
“I…I don’t really know.” He keeps staring at the clothes, and I wonder if he’s a little OCD about his room.
“Do the clothes on the floor bother you?” I ask.
“No. Uh…”
“What?”
“Um…”
He glances at me, blushes, then looks at my clothes on the floor again, and I understand.
“Yeah, I’m naked, goofball.” I laugh and then pat the bed next to me. “Get your clothes off and get in here.”
Rocco hesitates and then slowly pulls off his shirt. I raise my eyebrows, waiting for more, but I don’t think he realizes he’s doing a striptease. He lowers his sweats, realizes he still has his shoes on, and nearly falls over trying to kick them off with his sweats still around his ankles.
I have to put my hand over my mouth to keep from laughing.
Somehow, he manages to get his pants and shoes off without losing his balance. He glances around, unable to look at me.
“All of it, Roc.”
He bites his lip for a moment before reaching down and removing his socks. He tucks one thumb in the side of his briefs and then hesitates again.
“Keep going,” I say.
“I…I don’t usually sleep naked.”
“You do when you’re sleeping with your girlfriend.”
“Oh.”
“Not a decision you need to make.”
“Okay.” He sighs but appears to still be struggling.
“Rocco?” He looks up, and I push the blanket down to my waist. I grab both of my tits and hold them up. “You want these? Because you’re only getting them if you take off that underwear and get in here with me.”
Rocco’s briefs disappear quickly, and I laugh as he jumps into the bed with me. I pull the blanket up around us both as Rocco snuggles against my chest.
“All better now?” I ask.
“Yes.”
I can feel his smile against my skin. I run my hand over his head, pushing his hair off his face and behind his ear. He sighs again, then tenses.
“Do you…did you want…?” Rocco stammers, but I know what he means.
“Not now,” I tell him. “As much as I might like to have some vanilla sex in a bed, I am completely exhausted, and I bet you are, too. So go to sleep now.”
“Okay.”
Rocco relaxes again, and I lean back against the pillow, eyes closed. It doesn’t take long for my fuzzy head to send me straight to sleep.
I wake up a few hours later. Rocco has rolled onto his back, his arm around my shoulders, as my head rests on his chest. I blink a couple of times and look around for a clock, but I don’t see one. My phone is still in my backpack, so I have no idea what time it is. I still need more sleep, but I look up at Rocco instead.
Rocco’s brow is creased and his mouth drawn down as he sleeps. His eyes move rapidly behind his eyelids, and I wonder what it is about his dream that has him so concerned. Slowly, I reach my hand up and push some strands of hair off his forehead. He tenses, and I softly stroke the side of his face until his expression softens.
He takes a deep breath, and his grip around me tightens a little before he relaxes again. I smile, not knowing for sure if I helped him through his troubled dream or not but hoping I have.
I glance down. Though I can’t see Rocco’s cock without lifting up the blanket, I can still imagine it. I’m extremely tempted to just jump him right now, but I hadn’t asked him about it before he went to sleep. I make a mental note to inquire about his feelings on wake-up sex later. Tired or not, the heat from his body up against mine has me throbbing, but I’m going to have to ignore it for now.
I snuggle up against him, pressing my body down the length of his. With my head against his shoulder, I close my eyes and drift off once more.
When I wake again, Rocco’s not in the bed. I yawn, rub my eyes, and look around the room only to find him on the floor, still naked, and curled up in a ball.
“Rocco? You okay?”
“I…I…”
“What is it?” I push the blankets off of me and climb out of bed. I sit on the floor next to him and take his hand in mine. “Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”
“I…I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.”
“Do about what?”
“I’ve never…I wasn’t sure…”
“Deep breath, Roc.”
Rocco nods, breathes deeply a few times, and then manages to speak.
“I woke up, and I’ve never had someone else in my bed before, and I thought I should do something. I thought I’d make coffee, but I don’t know if you like coffee or not or if you’d want cream or sugar, and I don’t have any sugar. I thought I’d go to the dining hall and get donuts to go with coffee, but I don’t know what kind of donuts you like. Maybe you don’t eat donuts at all. And then I thought I could get pancakes and sausages, but maybe you’re a vegetarian, and I remember Ivan once saying pancakes were just flat donuts, and…and…”
“Rocco, slow down!” I laugh and give him a hug. I hold on to him until he wraps his arms around me, too, and then pull back just enough to look at his face. “First of all, you didn’t need to do anything because I didn’t give you any instructions. Second, the next time this happens—and there will be a next time—you can make me black coffee and get me a glazed donut with chocolate frosting. Okay?”
“Black coffee, glazed with chocolate—okay, got it.”
“And you only have to do something like that if I tell you beforehand.”
“I didn’t screw up, then?” He looks at me hopefully.
“No, Rocco.” I push his hair off his
face and smile at him. “You can’t screw things up like that.”
“But…boyfriends are supposed to do things for their girlfriends,” he says quietly. “I don’t know what to do. Not just today, but every day.”
I grip his hands firmly, squeezing a little until he meets my gaze.
“I want you to promise me something.” I look at him seriously.
“Promise?”
“Yes, promise.”
“Um…I’ll try.” He licks his lips nervously.
“I want you to promise me that if you are ever in a similar position where you think as a boyfriend you’re supposed to do something in a particular way, and I haven’t given you any instructions on it beforehand, that you’ll remember to just ask me what you should do. And I’m going to promise that I’ll never be upset or angry with you just because you didn’t know how to handle a situation. Deal?”
“Deal,” Rocco says with a nod.
“Good. Can we get back into bed now? I’m freezing.”
We climb back under the blankets, and Rocco immediately rests his head on my chest. I stroke his hair, kiss the top of his head, and then remember something he said.
“Ivan says pancakes are flat donuts?”
“Yeah. He talks about carbs a lot.”
“Meathead,” I mumble, then laugh. “I guess that’s why he’s so jacked.”
“Jacked?”
“Muscled-up.”
“Oh. Yeah.” Rocco presses his lips together. “I…I don’t look like that.”
“Thank God,” I say, laughing again. “I’m not a fan of big muscles.”
“You aren’t?”
“Nope.” I run my hand up and down Rocco’s arm. “Give me the skinny dudes all day long.” I lean over and press my lips to his. “You’re perfect, Rocco, at least, as far as I’m concerned, and that’s all that matters, right?”
“Yeah.” Rocco grins at me, then goes quiet.
“What else do you want to say?” I ask gently. He takes a while to answer.
“So, we are still…?” Rocco asks quietly, then pauses as I look at him quizzically. “I mean, we’re still boyfriend and girlfriend, right?”
“Yes, we are. Did you think that would change overnight?”
“I wasn’t sure.”
“It hasn’t. At least, my feelings about it haven’t changed.” For a moment, a tight knot forms in my stomach. “Are you having second thoughts?”
“No!”
“Good.” I breathe a sigh of relief. “Now, I have some questions for you.”
“You do?”
“Yes. They should be easy to answer. No decisions, just opinions.”
“Sometimes those are hard, too.”
“Well, let’s try anyway.”
“Okay.”
“How do you feel about waking up with my mouth on your cock?”
“Huh?” Rocco’s eyes go wide, and he shifts back a little.
“I mean, how do you feel about waking up to me having sex with you—oral or otherwise? I wanted to fuck you while you were asleep, but I hadn’t asked if you’d like it. Not everyone does.”
“Oh…”
“Still waiting for an answer.”
Rocco blushes and trembles a bit, and I have a feeling he doesn’t think he’d like the idea at all. I’m about to give him an easy out when he smiles, slowly tilting his head to the right.
“Good boy,” I say with a smile. I run my fingers over his cheek and neck. “Now, where do you like to go out for dinner? I mean, are there any cuisines you don’t like or food allergies I should know about?”
“Not really,” Rocco says. “Why?”
“I need to pick a place for all of us to have dinner next week. Remember, we’re going out with Cree and Kas. I didn’t want to pick a seafood place and then find out you’re allergic to shellfish or something.”
“No, I don’t have any allergies,” he says. “I don’t like spicy food though.”
“Okay, nothing spicy. That’s easy enough. Anything else?”
“I don’t think so.”
“If that changes, you tell me.”
“I’ll try.”
“That will have to do for now.” I caress his cheek again, and Rocco stares at me for a long moment.
“Casey?” he whispers.
“Yeah?”
“I don’t…uh, I don’t really have any money to take you out.”
“You aren’t taking me out,” I say firmly. “It was my idea, and I’m buying. Don’t you even think about starting with that whole ‘I’m the man’ shit, or I might have to consider spanking you.”
His eyes go wide.
“Kidding, Roc. But really, if I ask you out, I’m buying. No questions. I don’t have a ton of extra money, but I have enough to take us out every once in a while. We’re both poor students, and we’ll make it work.”
“Are you sure?” he asks.
“Positive.”
“Okay.” He nods, then takes a deep breath. “Can I…can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“Can we…?” He stumbles, unable to finish the sentence as he looks away.
“Can we what?” I ask.
“Can we…uh, can we…have…you know…?”
“Hmm…” I smile slyly as I realize where he’s going. I look right into Rocco’s eyes. “I’m not sure what you mean, Roc. You’ll have to say it.”
“Can we…?” Rocco starts to say again, turns bright red, then takes a deep breath before blurting it all out at once. “Can-we-have-sex-again?”
“Oh, would you like that?” I tilt my head and run my finger down the side of my breast.
“Yes.” Rocco whimpers as he watches the path of my finger.
“Yes, Roc. We can have sex again, but first…”
“First?”
“Go get me that coffee and donuts. Get yourself some, too.”
“Okay!” Rocco smiles, but I grab the end of his chin and look into his eyes.
“That’s ‘Yes, ma’am,’” I tell him.
“Yes, ma’am!”
“Good boy. Come here first.”
Rocco leans close, and I take his face in my hands. I look at him for a while before I press my mouth tightly against his. I can feel his smile against my lips and can’t help but return it.
Before last night, I wasn’t sure how this would turn out. I was afraid I wasn’t going to get through to Rocco at all, but today that fear has been replaced by hope. I know that Rocco is ready to make some real changes in his life, and I know I can help gently push him in that direction. I think I’m ready to change as well, and helping Rocco is exactly what I need to calm myself and learn to be more tolerant and patient with others. Eventually, I think he’s going to help me let go of some of the anger and blame about my past.
I lean against the pillows, still smiling as I watch Rocco head out the door with an uncharacteristically light gait in his step. He glances back at me once more before he leaves, that adorable blush still present on his cheeks.
Yeah, we’re both a little fucked up, but that’s all right. We’re good for each other, and that’s all that matters. Who knows? Together, maybe we hold the key to healing each other.
Epilogue—Ivan
I stand in the common area of Power Exchange with my mouth hanging open, unable to make a sound. All around me, kinksters are planning their scenes for the night. A professional photographer is preparing cameras and lights as one of the dungeon monitors passes out bracelets to identify those willing to have their pictures taken. Negotiators practice their own craft nearby, but I am not paying any attention to any of them.
I’m one hundred percent focused on the woman in front of me.
“I hope you’ll consider my offer,” she says with a wide, painted smile. “You’d be perfect.”
She takes her hand and drags her bright red nails down my chest. I can feel them through my T-shirt though the pressure is not quite hard enough to leave marks. It sends a shiver through my
skin and into my cock, which immediately responds even though my mouth can’t seem to form any words. With a coy smile, she turns and walks away, flipping her long hair over her shoulder. I can’t help myself as I stare at her ass until she disappears around the corner, heading to the downstairs exit.
My heart is still pounding, but I manage to shut my mouth. I’ve never entertained such an idea, and I don’t have a clue how I feel about it. I’ve always considered myself a pretty open-minded guy when it comes to anything and everything sexual, but this? This is a whole other realm.
I might have found myself a limit.
I’m always the one willing to try anything and everything. If I’m attracted to a woman, a man, transgender, queer—whatever—I’ll go with what their kink is and let the fun begin. I’ve done impact play, both as the person hitting and the person being hit. I’ve done electrical play, fire play, rope, chains, whips, suspension, and everything in between. My kink is simply being a thrill-seeker in any way, shape, or form. I like new experiences, and nothing has ever scared me away.
But this? This is a lot to consider.
“Hey, Ivan! What’s up?”
I startle as Cree approaches. I wipe my hands on my thighs, realizing they’re getting sweaty, and try to smile as Cree walks up to me and claps me on the shoulder.
“Did I scare you?” he asks with a laugh.
“No, no…I’m fine.” I glance toward the stairs to make sure the woman hasn’t returned. “I just didn’t see you come in.”
“Got here late,” Cree says. “You aren’t going to believe this, but Kas and I had dinner with Casey and Rocco before we headed here.”
“I thought Casey hated you.” I narrow my eyes a little, and then the full impact of what Cree just said hits me. “Wait a minute. Rocco went out for dinner, like, on a date—a double date?”
“Yeah, he did.”
I whistle loudly.
“I had no idea.”
“They hooked up last weekend,” Cree says. “I was a little concerned at first. I mean, we’re talking about Rocco here, but it seems like it worked out really well.”
“Wow!”
“Amazing, huh?” Cree is all smiles, and I wonder if he didn’t have something to do with it. “Casey seems to be really good for him, and I think he’s softening her up as well.”
