by Charli Webb
I guess I sort of am. I swipe a hand over my face. “How about we go out for a cup of coffee?”
She widens her eyes. “Seriously?”
“Yeah.” I frown, not sure what the hell’s going on with me but I’m sick of fucking nameless girls to chase Skylar out of my head. It doesn’t work anyway. I’m just tired of it all. I’m not ready for a relationship, but I need a change. As long as we keep it casual, no strings attached, sex might be a little more satisfying if I take a girl out a couple of times before I fuck her. “Why not? I haven’t been on a date in years.”
“Well, if you want a date, you need to call and ask for one.” The girl—I still don’t know her name—grabs a sharpie off the nightstand, pops the cap off with her teeth, then writes her info on my palm.
Cherri Payne 303-555-1234.
She snaps the cap back on and grins at me. “That’s Cherri like the fruit, not the wine.”
“Okay.” I grab my shirt and turn it wrong side out again then slip it on.
Cherri licks her lips as she watches me. I can’t believe I’m walking away from this. I pause at her bedroom door and say something I haven’t said to a girl in four years. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”
Chapter Five
Skylar
I swing by Target, Michaels, and Superior Pet Shop to grab some employment applications on my way back from dropping Rowdy off. Uncle Will’s life insurance paid off the mortgage and Boone gets the same tuition break I do at CU, but the property taxes alone are more than most people pay for rent. I intend to pull my weight whether Boone wants me to or not.
The only one that’s hiring right now is Superior Pet Shop so I go ahead and fill out the application while I’m there then grab some groceries at Whole Foods.
There’s a brand new, black Mercedes-Benz SUV parked in front of Boone’s house. It still has the dealer tag taped to the window.
When I go into the kitchen to put away the groceries, I hear voices coming from the backyard. I peek out the window over the sink and find Boone and Wade, sitting in reclining lawn chairs. They’re both sipping on bottles of Coors.
The sliding screen door complains with a gritty screech as I open it. Both boys look over their shoulders.
“Hey, Sky, you’re back.” Boone grins at me. “You remember Wade, right?”
“Of course.” I smile and nod as I step onto the flagstone patio. “Wade Summers, Wilderness EMT, knight in shining armor.”
Wade jumps to his feet and offers me his chair. I wave him off and grab one of the metal chairs pushed under the glass patio table. “Thanks, this is fine.”
“Grab a beer and join us.” Boone nods at ‘The Hole,’ an eddy near the shore of South Boulder Creek. It’s a natural cooler, protected on three sides by large rocks.
Aunt Lori always kept The Hole well stocked with soda and bottled water. There was an occasional bottle of beer in the mix, but that was for Uncle Will. We all knew better than to steal it.
My chest aches as I think about all we’ve lost. “It’s barely eleven o’clock. Don’t you think it’s a little early to be drinking?”
“In this heat?” Boone gives me an ‘are you crazy’ glance then shakes his head. “It’s only beer.”
Wade is still standing. He sets his half empty bottle on the glass surface of the patio table. “Would you like a Coke?”
“Sit down. I’ll get it.” The creek is only a few steps away from the edge of the patio. It’s running low, especially for this time of year, so I can still hear Boone’s voice over the murmuring water. Something he obviously doesn’t realize.
“Just ask her out for coffee or ice cream. As long as you don’t make a big deal out of it, she’s not going to shoot you down.”
“I don’t want to piss Rowdy off. He’s not the easiest person to live with as it is.”
Boone’s laugh is derisive. “Rowdy lost whatever claim he might have had to Skylar when he decided to fuck his way across the county.”
I plunge my hand into The Hole and grab a Coke. The freezing water makes my bones ache, but it’s nothing compared to the ache in the middle of my chest.
I wipe the top of the can off with the hem of my t-shirt as I head back to the patio. The water in South Boulder Creek is crystal clear, but it’s frequently infested with bacteria and parasites. I’m not taking any chances.
Wade’s gaze travels to my slightly exposed midriff, but he blinks and looks away immediately. Good boy.
I smooth my shirt down over my stomach and pretend I didn’t catch him checking me out. I need to have a chat with Boone about his misguided efforts to hook me up with his friends. And protect me from Rowdy.
I sit down then pop the top on my Coke.
Wade clears his throat. “The Boulder Mountain Rescue meeting tonight is open to the public. Would you like to go?”
I was expecting an invitation to go out for coffee or ice cream, which I would have politely declined. But there’s a good chance Rowdy will be at the BMR meeting. “That might be interesting.”
Boone groans and rolls his eyes.
“What?” Wade shifts his gaze to Boone, obviously confused by his reaction.
“Dude, that was dumb.”
I jump in and change the subject. “Would it be appropriate for me to bring homemade chocolate cookies?”
A wide grin spreads across Wade’s handsome face. “Are you kidding? When are cookies not appropriate?”
“It’s the least we can do after the BMR rescued us. Right, Boone?” I emphasize we hoping Boone will agree to go with us.
He shakes his head. “I need to keep my foot propped up. I overdid it a little last night, but you two kids go have fun. Just be sure you’re home before curfew.”
“Very funny.” I glare at Boone, the traitor. He’s joking but he’s also trying to turn this meeting into a date.
Wade hangs out with us until noon, never taking so much as another sip of beer. My stomach growls. “I’m going to make kale salad with lemon-strawberry dressing for lunch. Would you like to join us?”
“Thanks, but I need to head back to campus. I have a class at one. Maybe next time.” His eyes twinkle as he smiles at me. “I’ll pick you up at five thirty.”
As soon as Wade leaves, I smack the back of Boone’s head. “Why are you trying to set me up with him?”
I expect him to laugh, but he just sighs. “You could do a lot worse than Wade Summers. He’s a great guy, pre-med student at CU and his folks are absolutely loaded.”
I groan. “I’m not interested in dating.”
“You’re not fooling anyone but yourself.”
I press the cold can of Coke against my temple and close my eyes. Boone’s wrong. I’m not fooling myself either. I know exactly why I accepted Wade’s invitation. I’m desperate to see Rowdy again. Even if he is an ass.
~***~
Wade picks me up at exactly five thirty. He’s wearing a white button-down shirt with the top three buttons undone and the cuffs rolled up to his elbows. His black jeans fit him perfectly, showing off his narrow hips and muscular thighs. I imagine wrapping my legs around his waist and pressing my mouth to his, hoping to kindle a spark of attraction. Nothing.
If I hadn’t already tried the ‘fake it till you feel it’ technique with Ethan, I’d be tempted to try it with Wade. But I learned my lesson. Just because a guy is hot, doesn’t mean he can’t be hurt. I can still see the tears streaming down Ethan’s sweet face when I told him it was over. I can still hear him begging me for more time.
I hand the foil-covered platter of cookies I baked to Wade.
His whole face lights up. “For me?”
“For everyone.” I need to make it clear there’s no chance of anything romantic developing between us.
He opens the passenger side door of his Mercedes SUV then holds my elbow as I climb inside, balancing the cookies in his other hand.
I try to make a joke out of it. “Contrary to what you witnessed on The Bastille yesterday afternoon, I can climb into a car withou
t assistance.”
“I’m sure you can.”
I look over my shoulder at him. He’s still smiling but it’s strained. I wait for him to slide behind the wheel then try to explain. “I appreciate the gesture, but I don’t want to lead you on. I’m not interested in a relationship right now.”
“Neither am I.” The tightness around his mouth indicates otherwise. “Let’s just spend some time together and see where it goes.”
“Wade—”
“Boone’s my best friend and you’re living in his house so we’re going to bump into each other a lot. It’ll be easier if we’re friends too. Besides, you can never have too many friends, right?”
“Just so you know, I don’t do the ‘friends with benefits’ thing.”
“I’m pretty sure Boone would kick my butt if I even suggested it.” Wade’s cheeks flush bright red. He braces his hand on the back of my seat then backs out of the driveway.
I’m surprised when he pulls into The Dark Horse parking lot. “The meeting’s here?”
Wade’s cheeks turn pink. “The meeting doesn’t start until seven thirty. I thought we’d grab a bite to eat first.”
I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Wade seems to sense my displeasure. “If this were a date, I’d take you someplace a little more romantic and a lot less rowdy.”
Rowdy. I can’t help but wonder if that was a Freudian slip.
~***~
My blue cheese veggie burger is delicious, but I’m so nervous about seeing Rowdy at the meeting that I can’t eat more than a couple bites.
Wade leans forward and whispers as if he’s afraid someone might hear him. “If you don’t like it, I can order something else for you. We have plenty of time.”
“That’s okay. I’m not very hungry. I ate too much cookie dough this afternoon.”
Wade’s eyebrows pull together. “You ate raw cookie dough?”
“The eggs were fresh. I just bought them this morning.”
“That doesn’t mean they weren’t contaminated. Do you have a fever?” He leans across the table and presses the back of his hand against my forehead. “It’s a little early for salmonella symptoms to manifest. How’s your stomach feel? Any nausea or diarrhea?”
“Wade!” I scoot back until my spine is pressed against the hard wooden booth.
“Sorry.” His cheeks flush as he leans back. “Pre-med mindset.”
I don’t have food poisoning, but I do have asthma. And it picks the most inconvenient times to flare up.
“Skylar?” Wade’s forehead creases with worry. “Are you okay?”
“I’ll be right back.” I grab my purse and head to the bathroom. I hate using my inhaler in public. I know it’s not a sign of weakness, but it sure feels that way. I’ve got my head down, digging through my purse, so I push through the door of the ladies’ room with my shoulder…and run into a couple of frat boys. “Oh!”
They both laugh. One of them says, “And another one bites the dust.”
“What are you doing in the women’s restroom?”
“The signs on the doors are reversed. This is the men’s room.”
I clutch my purse to my chest and back out. The sign on the door clearly reads Ladies but it’s painted on a giant hand pointing at the men’s room. Which also has a giant hand pointing back at the other door. I’m not amused. But I am starting to wheeze.
I dig my inhaler out and take a puff, wait a few seconds then take another. Relief is almost instantaneous.
“Next time, don’t run off looking for privacy. Take your medicine when you need it.”
I whirl around and find Wade standing next to me. “Why didn’t you warn me about the bathrooms?”
“You didn’t tell me where you were going. All you said was, I’ll be back, then darted away like a bat out of hell. I tried to catch you but a crowd of people got up from the bar and blocked my way.”
“Oh.” It’s not the most intelligent response but I really can’t think of anything else to say. It’s a good thing I’m not trying to impress the guy.
~***~
When we get to the Boulder Mountain Rescue meeting, I scan the parking lot for Rowdy’s truck. I’m simultaneously relieved and disappointed when I don’t see it.
So, when I walk inside and find Rowdy standing in front of a whiteboard and talking to Anna, it comes as a total shock. “How’d he get here without his truck?”
“Rowdy and Anna carpool all the time.” Wade jumps to the correct conclusion immediately. He knows exactly who I’m talking about.
I was so focused on Rowdy and Anna that I forgot about Wade. I try to act nonchalant as if I’m just curious about an old friend instead of dying inside. “Are they dating?”
He sets the platter of cookies on a plastic folding table then turns so he’s facing me head on. “Rowdy doesn’t date.”
“That’s what Boone said.”
“You still have a thing for him.” He states it as a fact, not a question.
My first reaction is to deny it, but that’s a blatant lie so I go with a half-truth instead. “Rowdy’s changed so much, I feel as if I don’t even know him at all.”
Wade removes the foil from the cookies then wads it into a ball and tosses it into the trash. “I didn’t know him before his mom died so I can’t say whether or not he’s changed.”
“Rowdy’s mom died?”
All conversation stops. The room is suddenly silent. Heat floods my cheeks. My gaze flies to Rowdy. He’s staring at me. No. He’s glaring at me. My blood turns to ice water.
I’ve only seen Rowdy’s stepfather a few times but every time was terrifying. He was always so angry. He’d look at Rowdy as if he were solely responsible for every bad thing that had ever happened to him. I see that same look in Rowdy’s eyes now. And as scary as he looks, I’m more afraid for him, than of him. I know how it feels to lose your mother. Rowdy’s not just angry. He’s in pain.
We were friends before we were a couple. No one knows Rowdy the way I do. And even if we can’t be together again, I can still help him. I will help him. Just not tonight.
Chapter Six
Rowdy
I continue to stare at the door even after Wade and Skylar leave together. The words, I’m going to kill him, are on an endless loop in my brain. I know I have no claim to Skylar but seeing his hand on her arm makes me want to rip it off and shove it up his ass.
Anna snakes a hand up my back to my shoulder. “Are you okay?”
I shrug it off without answering. I don’t mean to be rude. She’s only looking out for me. Other than Boone and the shrink Lori dragged me to for a year, Anna’s the only person I’ve ever been able to open up to.
She wasn’t there the night her dad killed my mom, but she never blamed me. She knows about the guilt I still carry. She also knows how devastated I was when Skylar disappeared. I wouldn’t have survived without Anna’s help.
The meeting goes by in a blur. I have to give my report of the incident on The Bastille Crack. I refer to Boone and Skylar as the male and female climbers to protect their privacy, as well as my sanity, then ask Anna to take over the ‘what can we learn from this incident’ part of the discussion.
I can’t be clinically detached from any part of the incident. What I learned from Skylar a long time ago is promises are made to be broken. You can’t trust anyone. And the more you love someone, the more it hurts when they desert you.
I can’t wait to get out of here, but I refuse to run away. Unlike that chicken shit, Wade. He had no right to tell Skylar about Mom.
We’re supposed to hang around and talk to prospective members and benefactors, but I’m afraid I’ll end up punching someone if they look at me the wrong way. I make my way over to the refreshment table and grab the last chocolate cookie.
A medley of flavors blooms on my tongue—bittersweet chocolate, butter, raisins, dates, walnuts and a pinch of cayenne pepper.
These aren’t pre-packaged cookies from Costco.
Nope. These are Skylar’s homemade chocolate cookies. She used the recipe we invented, together. I should have recognized them by smell if not by sight. I blame my foggy state of mind for not warning me before I bit into it.
I used to crave these cookies, but it turns to ash in my mouth and lights a fire in my stomach.
I’d like to blame the sudden heartburn on the cayenne, but I know better. I hate the fact that Skylar baked our cookies for Wade.
I spit the cookie into a paper napkin and toss it in the trash. As I brush the crumbs from my hands, I notice Cherri’s number on my palm. I said I’d call her tomorrow, but I can’t wait that long. I also said I’d take her out on a date, but if I don’t relieve this insane pressure, I’m going to explode. I’d get drunk but I don’t think booze alone is going to do it.
When we get back to the house, I immediately head for my room. I don’t like the way Anna’s staring at me and I’m in no mood to listen to one of her lectures. Cherri answers on the third ring. Classic.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Cherri, it’s Rowdy Daletzki. Are you busy?”
“Um…no. Not really.”
“Do you wanna be?”
She giggles. “What do you have in mind?”
I tell her in sordid detail as I grab my keys off the hook by the door and head for Old Blue.
~***~
“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” Cherri’s voice is tight. I can tell she’s trying not to cry. I wish she’d just let me get her off.
I sit on the edge of her bed with my head in my hands. “I honestly don’t understand. I swear this has never happened to me before.”
“You’re a little young for ED. Maybe you should see a doctor.”
Maybe I should. A fucking heart doctor. “This was supposed to be a date. Do you want to go get coffee or something?”
“Sure.” She doesn’t sound too excited about it but I don’t blame her.
“I’ll let you pick where we go, how’s that?”
“Can we go to The Laughing Goat?” She grabs her bra off the floor then slides under the covers to put it on…as if I haven’t already seen her boobs.
