by Various
Veronica wanted to know why I understood her so well. It was because I snuck inside people’s minds, into places that had been shut up for a long time. Little did I know that while I was living my life, I was also living my dream. When I saw her for what she was—an immortal, a living vampire—everything I pretended to be crashed around me. I could no longer go on seducing men into believing I was one of the undead than Veronica could continue to try and blend in with humanity. We each failed miserably at being something we were not.
It astonished me how each of us had forgotten what we had once been. When I popped my fangs in, I became a creature that couldn’t be touched or understood by mortal minds. I was a vampire. Now my mask had been torn off. My reflection began to show my true age, and with age would come great changes. That was one reason I clung to the idea of the vampire. The thought of an eternity spent in the cool night, being a marbled beauty for all time, just understanding the mysteries of life and death. The vampire knew what it was like to be human, seeing the world from two spotlights, two different points of view.
Being psychic, I tapped into a small part of the vampire’s powers and read others’ emotions. I lured in those I wanted to fuck. I used this ability to my advantage because it heightened the sexual experience. I never used it on my clients though. I even chose a new name—Raven. The name defined who I was. I was a prophecy giver, one of the associations with the name. It also meant being a harbinger of death, and vampires certainly were that. I got so caught up in the vampire lifestyle I had fangs fitted, as well as contacts to make my eyes look deeper, more alluring. The tricks worked, almost too well.
Men at clubs pulled me aside and wanted me to drink from them. I always turned them down, but the more I played out the fantasy, something happened. Not only did others believe I was a vampire, but I believed it, and that belief had changed my aura.
At first I didn’t understand how easy it was to fool people and then one night while dancing at a goth club called the Black Rose, I expanded my senses, mingling with the emotions of the other dancers. From my work as a psychic, I’d learned that the aura could be used to tell and do many things. Each color revealed something about the dancers’ personalities. The subtle shades and how the colors were arranged relayed the emotional state and physical state of a person; auras could also be used as shields or walls around the mind to keep other psychics out, or just keep thoughts in. I knew how to do all of this, and as I danced, I caught the sight and feel of my own aura.
My normal colors of yellow and blue were there, but there was a purple, a deep violet I had never seen. I paid attention to it and felt the slow, steady beat. As I focused on it, it grew deeper and I noticed the eyes of the other dancers, which was rare in the self-absorbed world of goth clubs. Feelings of lust and the thrill of the other world radiated from them as the purple began to blanket the dance floor. I pulled it back. My aura withdrew from the minds of the people, whipping itself back in place to just the normal yellow and blue.
When I first settled in New Orleans, I received strange looks from goths, but that didn’t bother me. Then I became a fixture, like the many ghost tales and the never-changing humidity and sudden rainstorms. I never minded though. I was what I wanted to be: my fantasy.
Now that had disappeared. Everything shattered because the one thing I pretended to be had appeared out of nowhere.
Unlacing my corset, I got up from my vanity and glanced at the blinking number on my answering machine. Six messages waited for me. Most of them were clients, seeking my guidance to steer them on the right path. I sighed, thinking how nice it would be to bow out of the business and watch people fend for themselves, like rats in a maze as they sniffed at the walls trying to decipher where the end was.
Corset off, I punched the play button. The whining voices of five clients reeled out, all wanting to see me by Saturday, three days away. I doubted I’d meet their demands, but I made a mental note to call them back. It was the sixth message I was more surprised and pleased over. It was from Cain. His accent reminded me of the crisp cold Boston winters I’d forced myself through.
“Hey Brenna, was wondering if you wanted to get together early tomorrow night, say like around seven thirty. We could do one of those ghost tours or something. You probably know all about them, but it would be nice to get together. If you’re interested, meet me at the Moonwalk—at least I think that’s what it’s called. If not, I’ll see you at my hotel around ten.”
The message clicked off, ending with a loud beep.
I smiled, realizing how much I’d taken a liking to this new boy. It was strange I had latched onto him so swiftly. When he was here the other night, I had almost forgotten about meeting Veronica. It was as though he had some hold over me. It was sad to think he would not be in the city for very long. The thought of him on a plane, returning to a place thousands of miles away depressed me. Even after he left, I would still have Veronica. She wasn’t going anywhere any time soon. I didn’t question her reasons, but was happy that such an unearthly creature would keep company with an ordinary girl like me, who hoped to be something else.
* * * *
I woke up around six and spent the last hour pondering the events that had taken place in the past twenty-four hours. I still couldn’t believe them. I’d been attacked, met a vampire, spilled my life story, and become entranced by the fact that a creature of myth and legend was real. I wondered what other kinds of monsters she had associated with or seen. Maybe there were werewolves roaming around in the Bayou, or even in the city, pretending to be human while munching on a few mortals at the same time. I would believe it because fantasy had now become reality in my book. Vampires were real, but underneath the fangs and glowing eyes was a sad, intriguing woman who held me captivated.
I yearned to feel her hands on my body, her fangs buried in my flesh. I wanted those soft lips kissing and caressing every part of me. I’d slept with women before, but Veronica intoxicated me. She commented on my ability to hypnotize her—well, she had me mesmerized to the end of my toes. She made me feel strong, like nothing could get in my way. Veronica made me desire a life I’d never have, a life I pretended to live. She had removed my mask, and now I was just me. I didn’t know if I could put on my fangs or contacts again, pretending to be one of her kind. It was all I knew. How could I give it up? And if I did, would that mean Cain would consider me an ordinary plaything, to have, to hold, to fuck? I sighed. I didn’t know the answer, but I didn’t want to give up the chance of seeing my new lover tonight.
The thought of his warm, wet mouth on mine made me tingle inside. He had a power over me Veronica didn’t possess. Perhaps it was pure lust because the sex was amazing. He reached an animalistic part of my psyche, enabling me to give myself over to sheer abandon. He made me aware of every part of my body. Besides, he was only a ten-minute walk from my apartment, hoping I would be scared by the tales of the city so I would need his protection.
Yes. I giggled. I’d go to him, and I would have the best time of my life.
I jumped up, throwing on a simple skirt and white shirt. I dressed lightly, knowing that the summer, even though it was coming to an end, was still hot and heavy. If it rained, the shower would pass, and I didn’t care if I got soaked.
Racing out of my apartment, I made my way over to the Moonwalk, arriving just as the clock on St. Louis Cathedral struck seven thirty. I crossed the street, glancing around the steps, searching for Cain. He talked to a tour guide who was dressed in a pink crushed velvet shirt. I went up behind my date, waiting for him to notice me. When he did, a huge smile appeared on his face.
“You made it!”
“Of course! I wouldn’t miss it. Besides, we might actually see some ghosts,” I said as I pushed a piece of hair out of his eyes. As I met his gaze a sudden sense of calm came over me. Nothing in the world could break the moment.
“Is this your other half?” the tour guide asked, his voice thick with an English accent.
“Yup. She’
s all mine.”
“Mine’s up there.” He pointed to the front of the tour group. “We were married about twenty minutes ago.”
“Congratulations,” I said.
“Thanks,” he said before walking off to address the rest of the group.
Cain and I listened as the guide explained the tour. The rising excitement of the crowd washed over me, filling me with anticipation. I didn’t bother to erect the shields around my mind to keep out the emotions. Tonight I wanted nothing more than to be content and warm on the arm of my date. I just wanted to be his.
As we ambled along I took Cain’s hand, just as lightning illuminated the sky. I jumped and huddled into the curve of Cain’s arm. The warmth and smell of him made me feel safe, but even as the tour continued on, I knew we would get very wet. We ventured through a residential area while the guide showed us a few places where movies had been filmed. As he talked I pressed myself closer to Cain, catching the scent of musk and earth.
A few drops of rain fell as we arrived at our next destination. The guide told the story of a man who dared his lover to prove her devotion. In order to do so, she had to stand on the roof naked until dawn. Her lover didn’t think she’d fulfill the challenge, but as the night ebbed, she didn’t come down. He checked on the woman and found her huddled against the chimney, her lips blue with death. It was said people saw the woman on top of the roof gazing down at them, keeping her vigil until dawn so she could prove her loyalty. It was a sad and interesting story.
I glanced up at the chimney just as a roll of thunder exploded above us. I saw nothing, but Cain stood, transfixed, as if he waited for the ghost to appear. His gaze was fixed intently on the chimney. A gust of wind came up, blowing my hair in my face, obscuring my view. In that instant, a shrill scream split the air, and Cain’s hand crushed mine.
“Look, there she is. Did you see her?” a woman’s fear-filled voice exclaimed.
By the time I cleared the hair out of my eyes, there was nothing but an empty roof, and wild rain dropped like bombs from the sky. I glanced over at the woman and then back at my date. His face seemed pointier, but I thought it a trick of the light. I put a hand on his shoulder, sensing the muscles ready to spring underneath his T-shirt.
“Did you see anything?” I asked.
It took Cain a moment before he looked at me, and when he did, his eyes were unfocused, almost hungry. When he saw me, they returned to normal, the tension draining from his body.
“No. It was probably just a trick of the light. People see what they want to see. Right?” He smiled.
I nodded, not sure what to make of his answer. “Come on, we’ll get left behind.” I grabbed his hand, dragging him after the retreating group, which had taken refuge in a local tavern.
“Well, wasn’t that interesting?” the guide said to Cain. “Nothing this exciting has happened since the time a woman thought a cockroach was a flying rat.”
I laughed, knowing how big the roaches got in the city, but my date didn’t get it. The tour guide walked away and my boy looked disgruntled. I wrapped my arm around him and rested my chin on his shoulder, trying to cheer him up, but it wasn’t working. He grew quiet and withdrawn, lost in his own thoughts. I kissed the side of his neck, flicking it with my tongue, hoping to get his attention. After a few more nibbles, some of the tension emptied from his tight muscles as he took me in his arms.
He looked into my eyes, and I lost myself in the depths of his sky-blue ones, but the sensation only lasted a second. I glanced around and we were the only ones left in the tavern. Cain caught my chin, gently turning me to him. He leaned over and caressed my lips with his, making me forget about the tour.
“We should get a move on if we want to catch up with the others,” he said after letting go of me.
I nodded and followed him, not concerned about the ghostly sighting from before. Outside, the rain had stopped as suddenly as it had started. It took a moment to find the group, but we did, and kept with it as the tour guide led us through the French Quarter, recounting sadistic murders and gruesome hauntings. The English guide knew New Orleans was a place where anything could happen. I had already found that out as the city helped reshape my life once again. The thought of losing Cain to an airplane and obligations in Boston was excruciating. I didn’t want to let him go any more than I wanted to let Veronica go. I had both, and I was content.
The rest of the tour passed uneventfully. The woman who’d spotted the ghost had sworn she wasn’t drunk. No one discounted her, but the crowd’s disbelief of her tale sunk into my psyche. I smirked, wondering if she, along with Cain, had seen anything. He declined to answer when the crowd turned to him. The tour guide looked at Cain and shrugged, letting him know it was his prerogative to say what had happened or not.
The tour ended where it had begun in front of St. Louis Cathedral in Jackson Square. The tour guide hawked a book that had been written about the hauntings of New Orleans. I chuckled. Everyone in the city was out for a buck, but I had to give him credit because he made a living doing something he liked. The crowd dissipated, going off to an endless night of drinking and partying. I craved something to cool my insides, but nothing alcoholic. I wanted to spend the night keeping myself busy with my boy. Yes, I wanted him, right on the street if that were possible. Just his presence made me hot and wet. My body hardened, readying itself for him, just from gazing into his bottomless eyes. If anyone tried challenging my authority over him, I’d rip out their throats because he was mine and mine alone.
“Are you all right?” he asked me.
“Yes.” I couldn’t believe I’d thought of tearing someone open. To be jealous was one thing, but to kill? I didn’t think so.
“You want to get going?”
I nodded. We moved away from the last of the lingering tour group. I scanned them, wondering what their lives were like back home. If they had families, or thought of their futures, something normal. With Cain beside me, I had a chance of that dream, but then I spotted Veronica. She leaned against an iron fence, one hand on the top of the main spike that formed the gate. I waved to her, but the look on her face stopped my hand in mid-motion. Pure malice and hatred adorned her expression. I’d never seen a being so full of anger. My voice caught in my throat as she stepped across the Square, but before I blinked she had disappeared, reappearing in front of both of us.
“Veronica, what’re you doing here?” I asked, trying to even my voice, but it wobbled in and out because of the seething anger radiating off of her. It filled my head like molten lava, red and runny. It encompassed her aura in a crimson glow and seeped into mine. My insides churned as they boiled. Sweat beaded on my forehead. I tried backing away, hoping the distance would help diminish the intensity of her energy.
“What are you doing?” she hissed.
I looked at her in shock. “We’re on a date,” I stated.
Veronica kept her eyes locked with Cain’s. He seemed amused with her as she challenged him. I understood she was jealous, but my being with him didn’t mean I was neglecting her.
“Veronica, it would be better if you left. We’ll discuss this later; I’m busy at the moment.”
Again she ignored me.
“I think you should do as the lady says. After all, we are on a date and she’s asked you to leave,” Cain spoke up, keeping his voice calm, though I caught the hint of amusement.
I wondered what he thought was so funny about the standoff.
“Damn it, I told you to stay away. You have no right,” Veronica chided.
I glanced down at her fists and noticed how clenched they were. I spotted the blood clinging to them, running down her tightened fingers. I became fascinated with it. I heard blood as it dripped down the palms of her hands, splashing on the cobblestones. As Veronica’s anger mingled with my aura, my own frustration rose to match hers, pushing out thoughts of blood.
“Look, Veronica, it’s not my problem you’re jealous. What I do is my business. Now leave us alone.”
> “Yeah, Ronnie, why don’t you butt out? Can’t you see me and Brenna are having a wonderful time?” Cain cooed, enflaming her even more.
“Don’t provoke her, okay? You have no idea what she can do,” I said to my date. How does she know him? This can’t be happening.
“Oh, I’m sure she wouldn’t hurt little old me. Besides, I’d like to see her try.” Veronica didn’t answer. Both of them stared at each other, having a silent confrontation. Cain loved every minute of it. I stood watching, unable to do anything. Her rage built in me along with my own, and if I didn’t find a way to release it, I feared I might just burst into flames.
“Fine,” I yelled. “You two want to play? Have fun!”
I turned, walking away, not believing the woman I’d been so close to just a few hours ago would turn on me, or the boy I found myself so enamored with could abandon me to play such childish games. If both of them were like that, then they were made for each other.
I realized Veronica only projected the things I saw in her. She was truly a beast that toyed with people’s lives, and I was her new plaything. She allowed me to fall in love with her, screwing up my perfect life. She made me think she was human and convinced me I had to help her.
It wasn’t over as I walked back to my apartment. I’d see her again. My vampire would apologize and say it was all a mistake. By then, it’d be too late. I’d have shut myself off from her and turned back to what I knew. I’d go back to being the mysterious vampire, gluing my mask and persona back together, reinstating myself back into the lifestyle I thought I had left behind.
I strolled into the night and stopped after a few blocks and extended my senses, trying to let the darkness cool my temper. Taking a deep breath, I tried pushing the confrontation between the vampire and my date out of my mind, but even as I did, faint shadowy figures of ghosts pressed against my consciousness. Their presence was nothing more than background noise, but if I focused on them, their voices would float into my mind as wispy echoes, reminding me of windblown screeches. I didn’t need to hear them or even want to see their transparent forms hovering on the streets. Nor did I want their cold fingers pressing on my body to get my attention. No, I wanted her. It was in these times my abilities were nothing more than a burden, when I wanted to throw them away and somehow be normal.
