by Matilda Hart
“Are you alright?” She asked, noticing that he was polishing his fencing sword with a considerable deal of manic energy.
“Well, well. Well.” He said, continuing his polishing.
“You seem so edgy today.” She said.
“It’s all this marriage business, I suppose.” He replied. “Making me anxious.” The Duke did want to question Joan about earlier that afternoon, but for the first time in his life he had a lump in his throat, and didn't know how to proceed.
“I see. Yes, I’m nervous about it as well.”
“Lets fight.” Emil exclaimed. If he couldn’t speak what he wanted to say then he’d have to speak through action.
“Good heavens, you look serious. I’m almost worried for my own safety.” She said, shock and amusement on her face.
“Nonsense.” Emil came right in with the first swipe and managed to poke her in the upper chest. “Point.” He said.
“Ouch!” Joan clutched her shoulder. “I wasn’t even ready yet!”
“God, I’m sorry.” Emil said, immediately repentant of his action and grateful that Joan was wearing the proper fencing attire.
“Don’t apologize.” Joan countered back, and immediately began an angered series of thrusts and parries. The two of them had practiced fencing with one another before, but on that occasion there was a true out-and-out battle going on, each not quite sure how matters had escalated to such a feverish pitch.
Quite suddenly, the fuel that ignited the flames of their fighting changed from anger and dismay to delight. Both were relishing how well they fought one another, and with each hit and miss the two became more enveloped in the playful and exciting intensity of their little game.
“Point!” Joan yelled, with a direct shot to the abdomen.
“Ha! I’m not threatened by your little jabs.” Emil spat back.
“You most certainly should be, Duke Lawrence.” Joan flung her head back when she said his name, adding a mock air.
That was it; Emil would go in for the kill. He began fighting with a force that he would only save for his most mortal enemy, and Joan’s considerable skills were not enough to hedge the attack. Before she could even know what was happening, she had fallen to the ground and the Duke had pinned her there. She was disoriented at first, until the Duke picked her up off the ground and with one arm swept her into his embrace.
The heat of the moment had entirely disarmed the Duke of what he had considered to be his new and better self. The animal within him, that he thought banished forever, had completely overtaken him and he needed to have Joan in his arms; he needed to taste her and feel every inch of her. There was no room left for reasoning and self-reflection. What he had been holding back all that time needed to come forth.
Joan didn’t have time to think either. Emil’s passionate and hungry mouth only inspired the same behavior on her part. She was completely surprised by the deliciousness - the fire - of his kisses. The whole business could be stopped. If Joan just pushed back, she knew that Emil would be a gentleman and stop as well, but in that moment, not allowing the sensuousness to continue might completely plunge her into regret.
But this is my friend, Joan thought to herself.
“Are you alright?” Emil asked with concern in his eyes. He was all too aware of what he had done, and he was worried that Joan might be uncomfortable or unwilling to proceed.
“Yes.” She replied, and with that concession, the Duke would hold himself back no further. He forcefully grabbed her by the hand and lead her into the estate.
Within moments they were in his room, and Joan was lying on his bed. Her heart was beating so fast that she thought her chest might explode. The Duke began exploring the entirety of her body with his lips, unfastening and loosening every strap of her fencing uniform as he went along. Never had Joan been undressed by a man before, and she always wondered if it might fill her with terror, but since it was Emil, it was nothing if not pure bliss.
Emil was commanding and yet trying to be gentle. He longed to see and touch the exquisite detail of every inch of her, but did not want to frighten her. He undressed her slowly, trying to savor that precious moment that he had never dreamed would come to pass. Joan did not seem the least bit shy, which pleased him immensely, but Emil was quite apprehensive to undress himself in front of her. The intense feeling of vulnerability that he experienced was shocking to him. He had never been bashful in those circumstances in the past, but with Joan it was much different. What was transpiring felt personal, special, and meaningful. Adding those feelings to his lust was something strange and new.
Once he mustered the courage to remove his fencing jacket, Joan could finally see his bare chest and shoulders for the first time. She had often noticed those parts of Emil’s body, but seeing them in the flesh for the first time was something else entirely. She knew that he was well-formed, but the upper portion of his body was nearly overwhelming; the firmness of it, and the smoothness. She felt him with her hands, and Emil reciprocated this action by feeling the softness and curvatures of her chest as well.
They exchanged a smile, relishing how enjoyable it was to touch one another so. Emil pressed his manhood against her hips, eager to be inside her but at the same time wanting to only entertain Joan’s wishes for how she’d like to proceed. He looked deeply into her eyes, searching for an answer to his carnal question, and there he saw a desire similar to his own.
Joan and Emil’s bodies became one. They were entangled and intertwined to the extent that one could not tell where their body ended and the other one’s began. Joan did not know before then what relations in the bedroom were like, but she had been told that there was some pain involved in the act. For her, the brief moment of pain was awash in pleasure to the extent that she wondered how it was she never knew such bliss could exist in the world.
Chapter Eight
Joan awoke the next morning in Emil’s bed, but she still felt as though she were dreaming. Concerns about what on earth she would tell her aunt were banished by the sudden and overpowering sensation that she had fallen in love. Yes, looking over at Emil as he slept - powerful and striking in form, and at the same time warm and affectionate - Joan knew that she had been completely overtaken; body and soul.
Emil rolled over, still in a dream himself, and draped a warm, protective arm around her slender waist. He wasn’t aware that he had done so, but it was as though his body had a natural instinct to be as close to her as possible, and to make sure that she was okay. Joan pulled her fingers through his dark, thick hair. He gave a little moan of pleasure, and it put a smile on Joan’s face.
Finally Emil’s eyes opened, and the first thing that he saw was Joan’s exquisite face. The Duke had seen the sun rise on many occasions, but the sight of Joan’s glowing complexion was far greater than any dawn. The Duke gave another little moan and pulled her up onto his chest, and cradled her. He sensed that he could just take her captive there, where she would be his prisoner for the rest of time. And yet his heart sank when he thought that maybe his behavior had been too rash the night before.
“I believe that I need to apologize.” Emil said, though still not capable of letting her go from his grasp.
Joan lay there in perfect bliss, savoring how tightly he was holding her. His embrace was firm but by no means suffocating. She felt incredibly safe.
“There is nothing to apologize for.” She said, and kissed him sweetly on the mouth. Emil’s heart soared. Was it possible that his sweet, beautiful friend had felt the same exhilaration and longing that he did? The prospect seemed far too good to be true.
“I have something for you.” Emil said, slowly getting out of bed to retrieve the white flowers from his mantle. Joan admired the site of him completely in the nude as he crossed the room. Each element of his body was large and powerful.
When he returned with the flowers, he placed them on her chest, and Joan giggled with delight.
“Where did you get these?” She asked with glee.
“White flowers are my favorite, though. How did you know?” She said.
“You must be joking. It was a lucky guess I suppose.” He was delighted by his good fortune, and by the surprise and happiness on Joan’s face. But then another thought came to him, and he went cold.
Joan noticed the change.
“What’s the matter?” She asked.
“I saw you there. Yesterday. In London” The sudden remembrance of Joan with the mysterious man filled him with anger.
“Oh?” She said, not in the least afraid.
“I saw you with a man.” The Duke decided to go ahead and have out with it. There was no reason to dance around it, and he needed to know the truth in light of recent developments. Yesterday, he thought that it was perhaps not his business to inquire into his friend’s romantic inclinations, but on that morning it was quite another story.
“Imagine the odds! The two of us being in the same part of the city at the same time.” Joan said with a laugh, but Emil was none too pleased that she did not go ahead and reveal the nature of her relationship with the unidentifiable gentleman.
“I have something that I must ask you—“ He stopped himself. Emil was quite afraid of what the answer to his question might be. He could feel himself filling with anger and wondered if the only was to settle the whole matter was to have a duel with the man in question. Certainly, if he was in love with her the same way that Emil was, then there was no other way to resolve it except to come to blows.
“Then ask.” Joan said, quite calm and composed. Although, she could tell something strange had overtaken Emil.
“Who was that gentleman that you were with? And more importantly…..what are your feelings towards him?”
Joan paused and said nothing. Although she thought it lovely that Emil should be so concerned about the matter, she also felt her old rebellious nature coming through. Why should she need to explain such things to her friend? What right had he to ask? But then, she realized that what she felt towards Emil was much greater than friendship, and he most certainly deserved to know the truth.
“That was Jean Luc.” She said softly.
“Who is Jean Luc?” Emil asked, glad that at the very least he finally had a name.
“We grew up together. I told you about him, and the Lost Boys. He fell in love with an English girl and is getting married! I wanted to take him to the only French bakery in London that I can tolerate.” She explained.
Emil couldn’t help but feel like the greatest weight that he had ever know had been released from his chest, and he sighed. There was only a brief moment where he wondered if he should trust her, till he was reminded of the fact that if he could trust anyone in the world, it was Joan.
********
That day was a whole new beginning for them both. Heartened by their mutual love for one another, it seemed like the sun shone brighter and the trees were more green. The fogs of London had lifted and the cool light of spring was just for them.
Although freshly in love, Joan still had to step back and think a little. All she ever perceived as the effect of being in love with someone was destruction. She knew of no happy couples, and the only happy marriage that she ever heard of was between her father and mother; and that ended in tragedy.
Perhaps the only virtue of a cold, arranged marriage was that the two parties involved wouldn’t have to worry about getting their feelings hurt - because there were never any real feelings to begin with.
Emil loved her, and she did believe him, but what if his love did not last? What if other women would start to look more appealing to him once he tired of her? These were the kinds of thoughts that came crashing through Joan’s head on that gorgeous spring day.
As the two of them walked down by the river hand in hand, there was still something unspoken that Emil needed to settle. He, too, reasoned that he would have to be married eventually, so why not have it be to the only woman that he ever loved? But if the match would indeed take place officially, he would need to have a firm answer.
“Will you marry me, Joan?” Emil and Joan stopped dead in their tracks. She knew that this discussion was coming but she in no way expected such a hasty proposal.
“Listen, Emil, why don't we wait—“
“I don’t want to wait. I love you. I do think that you love me as well.” He said, searching in her eyes to find the answer. “The match is already in place, all that we have to do is pick a date and it’s all set!” He said excitedly, though part of him was deathly terrified that she might actually say no.
“You’re right. Everything that you say is right.” Joan replied, looking down to the ground pensively.
Emil put a finger under her chin to lift her face towards his. “Then what do you say, Joan the Beautiful? Will you please be my wife?”
Joan shuffled her feet a little, but she knew how she must respond.
“Yes, Emil.” He grabbed her up swiftly into his arms and didn’t say a word. They both smiled quietly.
“Might I steal a kiss?” Emil asked.
“Well, I’m not sure.” She said coyly. “Now that we know we’re going to be married, then perhaps we should wait.” Of course, Joan wanted nothing so much in the world as to kiss him right then.
“So that’s how it’s going to be, is it?’ Emil said, weighing his options. “Then I suppose I’ll just have to take what is mine.” The Duke grabbed her and kissed her passionately on the mouth.
“Not here, Emil!” Joan protested, looking from side to side.
“Yes, I suppose it is improper of me, but I can’t help it.” He said, and leaned in to whisper in her ear. “I’m not going to be able to control myself around you.”
A smile came to Joan’s face. It was delicious to be desired so. For the first time in her life she felt like a real, hot-blooded woman; not the tomboyish girl she had been most of her life.
“Even around your mother?” Joan asked playfully.
“Particularly around my mother!”
“You’re sick in the head.” Joan said as she gave him a box on the ear.
“Truly, Joan. Can I be serious for a moment?” The Duke asked. Unearthing his feelings was not something that Emil was accustomed to, but he was then having trouble controlling his tongue. “I have never felt this way for anyone in my life. I love all of you - body and soul. You’re the most clever, delightful woman I’ve ever met.” He said, taking her hands in his.
“I find you tolerable.” Joan said with a laugh, but then she realized that it was perhaps best to match Emil’s candor with her own. “Since I have met you I have felt truly free, to be the person that I really am. I hope that it can always be that way.”
“It will always be that way. I would have it no other way.” Emil said seriously. “Now, then.” He took her hand and kissed her fingers. “Shall we walk to your aunt’s estate and tell her the great news?” He asked.
“But she already knows the news!” Joan said.
“Well, shall we tell her again, then?” Emil looked like a child, lit from within on a perfect spring day.
“Well, alright. But this time, we’ll think of a date.” She said.
“A date?” He scratched his chin. “Next week-end.”
“Now you really are out of your mind.” Joan replied. “Your mother would have a fit.”
“Let her. We’ll have a small wedding. Handful of guests, light refreshments, dancing if one chooses.”
“And where would we have said wedding?” Joan asked, intrigued.
“In my gardens.” He said with surety.
“No, in my gardens.” Joan countered. And that’s when the two of them came to the agreement that they would wed in the Gardens of Versailles. Genevieve Lawrence would throw a fit, no doubt, but Emil cared not. Wherever Joan wanted to wed, that’s where she would wed. From now on, anything that she wanted to have or do would be hers.
&n
bsp; The Duke became apprehensive for a moment thinking that she might ask for the sun, moon, and stars. Because no doubt he’d do his best to procure them.
Although Emil was to go straight to Constance’s estate, Joan decided that she would go on a little detour and meet him at her aunt’s. She didn’t tell him where she was going, but she was suddenly inspired to go to her bakery to buy a cake to celebrate the news. The cake would be of some use later that day.
Chapter Nine
Joan was walking down the street feeling contented. Although her decision to marry Emil was quite out of character, and she was still feeling some anxiety, she thought perhaps that it might work out nonetheless. She was on her way to Boulangerie Le Gâteau to buy a cream cake to celebrate with her future husband.
