by Matilda Hart
She and Thomas danced twice, but then he excused himself. “My mother needs me by her side – she has been in ill health, and my presence comforts her. You, of course, can remain dancing – I am sure that there are many here who would fill your card.”
“If I am to continue dancing, I may take a few moments to refresh myself.”
He nodded. “Before I take my leave – this dress suits you wonderfully well. It is flattering to your form in every way a dress should flatter. I found the material to be soft to the touch, yielding to the firmness of my hand. I hope you have noticed that as well.” He turned and left her, speechless.
Caroline decided to retire to the library. The innuendo of the Duke’s words bothered her, but did not offend. The thought that his hands had pressed firmly on the material of her dress had started a chain of thought that she could not comprehend, or give words to. She shook her head – he was maddening! Angrily, she decided to seek Eliza out so that her innocuous prattle would fill her head.
As she descended the stairs to Eliza’s quarters, she realized that she had forgotten a candle, and so trod carefully in the dimness. As she reached the bottom of the stairs, there were two directions she could go, with a storeroom straight in front of her. She paused. Her plan was not well thought out. Suddenly, her wrist was seized and she yelped, and she was spun around to find that the iron grip she was in belonged to Lord Gilroy.
“Miss Tibbot, are you sightseeing or are you merely returning to your natural state?” His smile was chilling.
Caroline struggled, but his strength was deceptive and he pulled her closer to him. “I don’t mind you fighting me, but let me assure you, I am more used to it then you are. You see,” and his voice dropped to a whisper, “I like to do my friends a favor. No one likes to ride a filly that hasn’t been broken in yet. They don’t settle well. So, let me break you in – and your Duke will be the main beneficiary.” He pulled her towards a closed door, with his other hand clasped around her mouth. Gilroy opened the door, and there was a small bed in an unoccupied servant’s room. “This will do,” he said, and he tore at the front of her dress, revealing her undergarments and her cleavage. With that, Gilroy smiled, pushed her on to the bed, and then collapsed in the doorway.
Stepping over him, with a candleholder in his hand, was Thomas. Caroline, not caring about how she looked, sprung from the bed and buried herself in his arms, sobbing. “Come now,” he said, “you’re safe.” Still holding her, he pulled a sheet off the bed and wrapped it around her. “You go with Eliza, and I’ll be with you in a moment. I have something to attend to first.”
They had to pull her out of Thomas’ hold, and she was vaguely aware of Eliza’s presence, holding her close, and ushering her through a crowd of servants. Dimly, she was aware of the sound of something heavy being thrown against a wall.
Chapter Six
Once Eliza sat her down, Caroline was aware of one thing. She didn’t know where she was.
“Where am I?”
“My rooms,” answered Thomas. “Eliza, you may go – but come back with some tea, brandy and a comfortable dressing gown for Miss Tibbot. After that, if I require you, I will get Brandon to call you. Understood?”
“Yes, your Grace.”
“Go.”
Caroline shook her head, and pulled the sheet around her ever closer. She shivered, and Thomas rose and stoked the fireplace. Eliza returned, with everything the Duke had asked for, as well as some cakes and biscuits. “After a scare, sometimes we like to nibble,” she explained. Then she took her leave, and the room was quiet. Caroline burst into tears, and Thomas was beside her in a moment.
“Where is he?” she asked.
“He is on his way to the magistrate’s. My cousin, Lord Avenell, is with him and in possession of a letter possessing my seal and signature.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry? Why are you sorry?” She had never seen him so angry. He stood up and paced. “You have nothing to be sorry about. He behaved like a wolf – worse, he behaved in a manner that would be deemed immoral by even the lowest class rake! I am only thankful that I saw him leaving the ballroom while I was looking for you.”
“You were looking for me?”
“Of course.”
“May I ask, why?”
He laughed. “The ‘why’ is not so important. All I know is that when I can’t see you, I need to find you.” He sat back down next to her. “I want you to feel safe, which is why I had you brought here to my rooms. But now, take your dressing gown and remove these torn clothes. You can use my room. I will pour you some tea and we can talk once you are more comfortable.”
Caroline hesitated.
“Go on,” Thomas urged, “I give you my honor as a gentleman that I won’t accidentally walk in on you. As tempting as that may be, I have your tea to attend to first.”
“So, tea is your main concern?”
“No,” as he stood up, he helped her to her feet, their hands touching and Caroline registered a warm, reassuring sensation as they did so. “My main concern is you.”
She smiled, and gently walked to his room, where a large four-poster bed dominated the room. Caroline undressed, and slipped into her nightgown. As she did so, she noted a mark on her wrist where Lord Gilroy had seized her. She rubbed it, her head reeling from the thoughts of what those few moments could have become. Now, in a nightgown, she was alone in the Duke’s bedroom, and that was the thought – not the terror of what had just passed – that was dominating her thinking. She hurriedly slipped on her dressing gown and went back to where Thomas was preparing her a tea.
“This is my specialty,” he said, handing her the teacup as she sat down, “and is especially useful when one has had a shock.”
Caroline sipped, and almost gagged.
“Too much brandy, Miss Tibbot? My apologies.” He quickly took the cup from her, drank it himself, and poured her a new one with only a touch of brandy. “Drink up, it will warm you from the inside and calm your nerves.”
She sipped again, and this time it suited her. “I approve of your specialty, sir.”
“Your approval pleases me.”
Caroline looked at him in surprise. “You care about my approval?”
“Ever since you first entered my house.” He bowed his head. “I am ashamed that this, this incident occurred while you were under my care. I wanted this house to feel like a home.”
This was a side of Thomas’ personality that Caroline had not even imagined existed. He was vulnerable, open, honest, and seemed to be asking her forgiveness for something that was not his fault. She smiled, “I feel quite at home, sir, here with you. Even after the events of this evening. I am surprised at myself, I confess, given how frightened I was earlier. I dare not think of what would have happened had you not found me.”
He slipped an arm around her, and she nestled in to him. “He will never be near you again. He will never see the light of - ”
Caroline was barely listening, for the noise in her mind was too loud. The tremendous clash of her first, negative impressions of the Duke and her current feeling of safety in his arms were drowning out his words. The warmth of his body was extraordinary, seeping into her and comforting her – but no, she thought, not just comfort. This was more. This was like standing on the edge of a cliff and falling, falling into something uncontrollable.
She turned to answer him, and his hand moved to her face, gently caressing her. Thomas moved closer to her, and she allowed him to kiss her, their lips meeting tentatively at first and then with a passion to devour one another. Caroline could not stop herself. The Duke disengaged himself first, leaving Caroline breathing deeply. He led her to his room, and closed the door behind them. He kissed her again, and she allowed herself to be pulled closer and closer.
They moved towards his bed, and as they did, he disrobed her, deliberately and slowly, his hands lingering over each body part that was revealed until Caroline stood naked before him, quivering with exciteme
nt. He smiled, and she sat on the bed as he knelt, nuzzling into her breasts, gently pushing her back on to the bed as his hands explored between her legs. She sighed, deeply, as he pushed his fingers into her. He then stood up, and undressed quickly, and in the candlelight she saw his erect member, firm and hard, and then he moved towards her. He swiveled her so that she was now completely on the bed, and lay on top of her, continuing to pleasure her with his fingers. She could feel his body against her, hard and hot, she could feel him throbbing near her thighs, and then – finally – he eased her legs apart and entered her.
Caroline, expecting pain, moaned out in pleasure. Thomas began to move insider her, gently, filling her completely, eliciting from her sighs that built in intensity. His hands were cupping her head, cradling her intimately, as he penetrated her deeper and deeper. Suddenly, she felt the intensity within her building, building until she could bear it no more, and she arched her back and gasped in prolonged pleasure, her whole body now focused solely on how good he felt insider of her. Her hands reached down and grasped his buttocks, with her knees digging into his sides. Thomas, seeing her satisfaction, plunged deeper and faster until Caroline felt him explode inside her. He collapsed upon her, the two of them panting as though they had just run a race.
Withdrawing, he lay next to her, and they got under the covers and held one another. Caroline smiled. “Thomas,” she said, “I most certainly approve.”
Chapter Seven
Caroline awoke the next morning, exhausted and satisfied. The night had passed in a whirl of passion, of deep, long kisses leading to deeper intimacy. Her head rested upon Thomas’ chest, his breathing rhythmic and contented. The fireplace was alight with a crackling blaze. Suddenly, she was horrified. Throughout the night, Thomas had tended the fire to keep it ablaze, and in the early morning she had awoken briefly and noticed that it had dwindled. Now it blazed, which meant that Brandon had been in the room and had seen her asleep with Thomas.
The reality of what had occurred struck her. She slipped out from Thomas’ arms, and he turned on his side, murmuring. Caroline found and slipped on her robe and dressing gown. She walked through the bedroom doors, almost expecting to see an audience in Thomas’ sitting room. Instead, there was just a steaming pot of tea and some fruit. She poured a cup – sans brandy this time – and sipped. In the quietness, she was becoming dimly aware of what had occurred, and what it meant.
There was no doubt she had strong feelings for Thomas – feelings that overwhelmed her plans for her future. The night before had seemed like a dream, seemed like she was another person, someone who would find great satisfaction in a domestic life, married to a young and handsome duke, and living in the very lap of luxury. If she was to compromise, there were far worse compromises to be made in life. Her feelings for Thomas were not purely material either – they had a chance at a loving, passionate marriage. This was a blessing she had not anticipated.
Caroline sipped her tea again, and the memories of last night flooded through her again. She had not expected that. She looked over her shoulder towards the bedroom door, and smiled.
Yet, she knew she was trapped. It was a loving trap to be sure, and beautifully set, but it had her ensnared all the same. Gone were her dreams of travel, of being a merchant like her parents. The only travel she would experience now would be between Whitby and Durham, with perhaps the odd season in London. Yet, the different scenes would change little – she would still be the Duchess of Durham, dictated to by a million social niceties and obligations. Her freedom would be constrained to her own thoughts in her chambers. If she travelled, she would travel alone, and would be leaving Thomas and the way he made her feel behind forever.
Deep in thought, she was not aware of Thomas until he kissed her on the cheek. “Good morning, Caroline.”
She stared ahead, but her hand rose to his cheek, brushing his stubble. “Good morning.”
“Did you sleep well?”
Caroline laughed. “No, not at all. I had a restless night.”
He sat next to her. “As did I.”
They sat in silence for a few moments. Then Caroline decided it was time. “I do not know what to do, Thomas.”
“About what in particular?”
“This is not what I planned. I did not imagine feeling this strongly about you. This is not a life I prepared for – I do not know if I am designed for this luxury, and the rules that attend it.”
He poured himself a tea, and sipped. “I would have thought that last night proves you should be here, with me?”
“It proves that I cannot be trusted with the rules.” Caroline paused, sensing her world contract. “Nothing more.”
Thomas leaned in, and placed his hand on top of hers. “Let me propose a way forward. This way of life must seem strange to you, and it does come with a myriad of rules and obligations. However, there is nothing so liberating as status. Let me show you and, if you still find this life – with me – too confining, then I will release you from this engagement with no shame to either party.” He squeezed her hand, and a thousand sensations accompanied that motion.
“Very well,” she responded, squeezing back. “At the worst it means we have some time together.”
“Then it’s settled.” He stood up, and walked over and rang the bell. He met Brandon at the door, and Caroline heard Thomas say the words “clear the halls”. He then returned to her.
“Now, Caroline, you must go back to your chambers. Don’t fear – no one will be present but Eliza to witness this. Brandon has seen to that. Over the next few days I will show you the freedom that being the Duchess of Durham will bring.”
Thomas was true to his word. Over the next week, no luxury was off limits, no leisure activity was too insignificant to be indulged in and no privilege was withheld. Each morning as she awoke, Eliza would bring in gifts from Thomas – flowers, jewelry, trinkets, and dresses to be worn that night as they indulged in lavish feasts. The highlights over the week for Caroline were croquet – she enjoyed both the strategy and the strength of the game, as well as besting Thomas at it – and the hunting expedition that she and Thomas engaged in.
That night, sampling the grouse that they had caught, Caroline noted that Thomas was barely touching his food. He seemed morose, moody, snapping at servants over imagined slights.
Aware of the servants attending them, she spoke formally: “Is anything the matter, Your Grace?”
“Nothing besides living in suspense,” he replied quietly, pushing his food away from him. “Miss Tibbot, will you join me in the parlor one you have finished your meal?”
Caroline nodded, and in a moment he had left the room. Putting her cutlery down, she was aware of just how lonely it seemed without his presence, and all that his presence brought with it – the memories of their passionate night together a week ago, the aching she still felt for his intimate, arousing touch, and the promise of a life together full of happiness, yet full of structure. In that moment, she knew what she had to do.
Chapter Eight
Thomas’ broad back was toward Caroline as she entered the parlor. She could sense his tension had escalated while he had been alone; Brandon hovered with a worried look on his face by the parlor doors – with a motion of her head, she indicated that he could leave and as he did, he discreetly closed the doors. That noise roused the Duke, and he moved quickly to Caroline, swept her into his arms, and kissed her passionately. She gave herself to it, recognizing the feelings that had lain dormant over the past week spring into flame.
“I’m sorry,” he said, breathless, “but I have been wanting to do that – and more – this past week. Each passing night that you are not in my bed is a torture. Do you feel the same?”
“Of course.”
“You do?” He seemed relieved.
“Thomas,” she spoke his name quietly, “it is not a question of me wanting to be with you. I do. With every part of me.” He moved closer and she could feel his swelling excitement. “Yet, feelings cannot
override what I know to be true in my mind.”
“What of your heart, though?”
She nodded. “I think both the feelings of my heart and the thoughts of my mind are equally true, and are drawing me in opposite directions. To follow one is to be treasonous to the other.”
They moved apart, and seated themselves by the window. Darkness had descended. They held hands, each stroking the other with their thumbs.
Thomas spoke first. “I know your heart, I know your feelings. You surrendered yourself to me the other night and gave yourself to me. Your thoughts, though, you have made suggestions, as though there may be the possibility of change? This past week I have observed you closely. Behind every smile I have sensed something of a sadness, a wrenching. I am prepared to hear you speak your mind now and, while you do so, I will not touch you.”
He removed his hands in an exaggerated fashion to make his point.
Caroline sighed. The heaviness that had been below the surface was now rising. She cleared her throat with difficulty, and slowly the words came to her: “This week has been all that a woman could desire – from the moment we lay together to hunting together today. You are all a woman could desire, if she were of somewhat a tempestuous nature. For you are willful, proud and assured of your own attributes.” She shook her head, laughing. “I could not stand the thought of you when I first met you! But now…now you have shaken me to my very soul. Now your presence makes me doubt everything I have ever dreamed of.”
