by Matilda Hart
The moonlight was starting to fade, as heavy clouds floated in front of it. The shadows from the willow tree, which hung around them grew longer. Alexandra couldn’t help, but notice the natural curtain the tree provided that seemed to give both her and Gabriel the perfect amount of privacy.
She could feel her breath getting heavier, as his fingers started to stroke the line of her hip. She could feel herself willing his hands to slide further to the right, so that they would be in the place that he was making so wet without even trying, but he took his time. He teased her. He made her body yearn for him. He made it so the only thing left that she could do was him, and then he granted every one of her wishes, until her back arched against the moist grass below them and her whole body throbbed with the pleasure he’d brought to it.
*******
Chapter 5
The realization of what Alexandra had done came quickly. She hadn’t even the time to fully pull her dress back over her shoulders, when the crushing weight of guilt knocked into her. What had she done? This was something she would never be able to take back. What man would want her, knowing that another had been there first? Had she ruined everything? Had she let her parents down so quickly?
Gabriel said nothing, as she pulled her light woolen shawl over her shoulders. He could sense the regret that was pouring away from Alexandra. ”Was it truly that bad?” he asked, when he couldn’t stand the silence any longer. Alexandra turned to him with a puzzled look on her face. Her eyes, though, remained distant, as though she was far away in some thought or other. ”That was a joke,” he said, so that the puzzled look could fade away.
She nodded slowly. ”It wasn’t bad,” she told him, because she had no desire for him to think anything else about the situation. The truth was, that in the moment it had been good. It had been very good. She’d felt things she had never felt before and was sure she would never feel again. He’d shown her the true difference between animals and humans. He’d shown her what the soul really did when it connected with its perfect other half. ”It’s just,” she hesitated. ”It’s just, I have not been completely honest with you.” She looked at him. Her eyes were starting to focus more on her surroundings, as her thoughts took backstage to the present.
”What have you been dishonest about?” Gabriel asked, as he walked forward. He put his hands on Alexandra’s shoulders softly and waited for her to speak. His eyes were at the same level, as hers and they met with perfect ease, even in the awkward situation. ”I’m sure,” he said, when Alexandra made no action to speak, ”That it can’t be that bad.”
Alexandra dropped her eyes to the floor. She wasn’t sure, which was the more dominant reason, but she knew that either shame or her overwhelming fear of seeing the affection disappear from his eyes was to blame. ”My mother and father sent me here to be married. My father and a man named Percival have a gentleman’s agreement, which is to be honored in the coming months.”
”I see,” Gabriel said quietly, but with to hint of surprise or shock. ”Do you think so little of my reputation, that I didn’t already know that? Do you suppose that I am kept from the festivities, which take place in this city?”
Alexandra lifted her eyes to his. She couldn’t be sure what his meaning was by saying what he had. Was he trying to tell her that he’d known all along and it had made no difference to him? ”You were aware of the agreement, before you took me out here?” she asked.
Gabriel nodded. ”Percival and I went to the same school together. It did not take me long to realize who you were, once you had told me about who your grandmother was.”
”I think that makes this worse. Why would you take a woman you know is promised to another out alone? Do you not care for your friend? Do you not care what people might say about him and myself, should anyone have seen us leave tonight?”
”All the things you have said may be true, but they were also true, before you knew of my knowledge. You chose not to tell me about Percival. I believe I gave you every opportunity to tell me,” he stopped, when he took in the slow rising anger, which was spreading across Alexandra’s face. ”I am not speaking badly of you. I do not believe your worries are those, which you should be focusing on. I told you in the ballroom and I will tell you again now, I always get what I want and I want you.”
”What are you saying?”
”Percival and your father may have a gentleman’s agreement, but until you have made your vows, nothing is final.”
”I think I need to get back to my grandmother’s. I don’t want her to realize that I’m not back at the house. If I’m there before she arrives home, then I might be able to convince her that I was taken ill and left early.”
”You could always admit that you were with me?” Gabriel said, as a smirk spread across his lips.
”That isn’t funny,” Alexandra scolded him, as she turned on the spot to work out her position in the dark park.
”I wasn’t joking.”
She frowned at him. ”I’ve told you, I’ve been promised to another. I cannot have any more of this nonsense in my life. I’m sorry, but we can’t see each other again.” The words felt bad in her mouth. She didn’t want to say them. She wanted Gabriel to walk her home. She wanted her grandmother to invite him over for dinner, so that they could properly get to know one another, but that wasn’t going to happen. She had to do the right thing, even if it felt wrong.
”Do you mean that?” Gabriel asked with a conflicted look spreading across his face. ”Do you really never want to see me again?”
Alexandra hesitated. ”I never said that I didn’t want to see you again, I said that I couldn’t. That’s something that I insist upon. I cannot bring dishonor to my husband, before I’ve even accepted his proposal.”
”You know Percival, is a bland man,” Gabriel said lightly. ”He’s a good man. He works hard and he’ll never lift a hand against you, but he’s dull and slow. You’ll find yourself in danger of dying from boredom, before your first year with him is over, that is something, which I can promise you.”
”I hardly think that matters,” Alexandra replied, as she thought about her father and the deal he had made. ”Marriage is about more than just excitement. It’s about compromise and doing what’s right by you both, even if that means putting your wants and needs aside.”
Gabriel scoffed. ”Marriage should make you happy. It should make you feel, as though you’ve always got one person by your side, even when you are in the wrong. It’s about finding someone who lifts you up, so that you can always reach your dreams. If you’ve been told otherwise, then you’ve been lied to.”
Alexandra thought about arguing with him. She thought about explaining the deal that her father had made. She thought about telling him about the money it would bring in and the great help it would provide towards her father’s charity, which he had started on the day of her birth, but she realized that none of that would matter to him, nor did she actually need to explain herself. It was her life. It was her impending proposal and it had nothing to do with the man, who until a few hours ago, had been a perfect stranger.
”I’m going now,” she said eventually, as she walked in the direction, which she was sure would take her back to the front gate.
”How do you propose that you will get over the gate without my help?” Gabriel asked her, as he walked quickly to keep up.
”I don’t intend to get over the gate without your help,” Alexandra said dryly. ”You are, after all, walking beside me. Do you suggest that you won’t help me? Do you suggest that you are willing to leave me here until morning?”
*******
Chapter 6
Alexandra woke up the next morning with her nerves shaken. The night before had been one of the most exciting of her life, but in its wake there was only a bitter feeling of life never feeling that good again. She had meant what she had told Gabriel though. She could not see him again. She could not risk anything more happening between them.
Breakfast with her grandmothe
r was tense. At first Alexandra couldn’t be sure whether she had believed the excuse she had given over her absence at the party, but it soon became clear that her grandmother’s distracted expression was about something else entirely. ”Have you made any plans for today?” her grandmother asked, after the maid had cleared away the plates and had brought in a freshly brewed jug of coffee.
”I don’t believe so,” Alexandra said, as she brought her gaze over to her grandmother and her beautiful green eyes, which had stayed young against the steady aging of the rest of her body.
”I received a letter from Percival this morning. He’s come into town early and has requested that you join him on a horseback ride into the country.”
”Would that mean that we would be alone?” Alexandra asked with mild concern. She’d had no hesitation in going with Gabriel the night before, but the idea of leaving the city with a total stranger was a little different.
”He’s taking a small party of friends with him. He thought that perhaps, it would be a chance for the two of you to meet and get to know each other.”
Alexandra nodded. ”I think that it is the perfect chance for us to meet,” she said, as she tried to lift her lips into a smile. It seemed odd that Percival had cut his trip out of the city short, but she didn’t question it, as she thought about what the day would hold for her.
She had always been a fan of horse riding. It was something, which she and her mother shared in common. When she had been only four or five, her mother had taken her out on her first pony, as Alexandra had grown, so had her four legged friends, until even the tallest of stallions were tameable under her touch.
”Have the maids prepared Isabelle for me?” she asked her grandmother. ”She hasn’t been out for a long run since I arrived here. She will need to be warmed up. The very last thing I wish to happen is for her to be hurt.”
”I sent two maids down to the stables this morning, when I had read the letter. I did so, with such haste that even responding to the letter came after it.”
Alexandra smiled at her grandmother. ”Thank you.”
”You don’t need to explain to me about the affection you hold for that creature. When I was your age, I had a pure bread called Tilly. She was beautiful. She had warm, treacle colored hair and the prettiest eyes, you ever might see. I loved her. I spent almost every moment I could with her.”
”What happened to her?” Alexandra asked, because she knew no horse by the name of Tilly lived in the stables now.
Her grandmother chuckled lightly. ”Old age dear. It comes to us all with time.”
Three rapid knocks came from the front door and Alexandra’s heart began to speed up. Her grandmother hadn’t mentioned when Percival would arrive, but she had assumed that she would have more time, before he did. ”Is that him?” she asked her grandmother, as though perhaps, she had suddenly gained the ability to see through walls.
”It could very well be him,” her grandmother said with a warm smile, as she took in the nervous and suddenly pallid complexion, which had come over her granddaughter’s face. ”You should not worry so much. Your first meeting may very well be awkward, as so many are. Your mother and father could not even speak, when they first met. So, you must be thankful that at least you do not face those kinds of obstacles.”
Alexandra knew that what her grandmother had said made sense, but that didn’t mean that it was right. The obstacles that had stood in the way of her mother and father, were also the same obstacles that brought them together. They were the foundations of their love story. They were the battles, which had to be won, so that they could have their happy ending. What comes easy that is truly worth having? Nothing.
A maid opened the door to the small room, which overlooked the garden and broke Alexandra’s trail of thought. ”I’m sorry to disturb the two of you, but Duke Percival is here for Miss Alexandra.”
”Thank you,” Alexandra’s grandmother said quickly with a dismissive nod. ”Tell him that we will be out to meet him promptly.” The maid nodded and quickly closed the door. Alexandra could hear the pattering of her footsteps, as she walked away from the room and towards the front door, where she was sure Percival would be waiting for her. ”I hope that your meeting goes well today,” she added, as she stood up and held out her hand, so that Alexandra could take it.
”As do I,” Alexandra said, as she wrapped her fingers around her grandmother’s and shakily got to her feet. ”Do I look okay?” she asked, as they walked out of the room. She had not known that morning that she would be meeting her future husband for the first time that day. She had not dressed with that in mind and although, she knew that she looked perfectly presentable, she wasn’t quite convinced that presentable was enough.
”You look just as your mother did at your age,” her grandmother replied warmly. ”You could be dressed in rags and you would still outshine the sun.”
The light from the wide windows at the front of the house beamed through into the lobby. Alexandra stepped out and looked at the man, who was looking at one of her grandmother’s vases with intense curiosity. ”Is this an import?” he asked, when the sound of approaching footsteps captured his attention.
”No, dear,” Alexandra’s grandmother said softly. ”I believe that I bought that from a girl, who was on the streets begging, some years back. She made it herself along with many others. She was quite a talent and it was a deep shame that she had been born without the ability to share it with more people.”
Alexandra took the time that her grandmother was speaking to inspect Percival. He was tall, but she was sure that Gabriel was slightly taller. He had broad shoulders and lean frame. His cheekbones were sharp, which had suited Gabriel, but only because of his lips, which had softened the look. Percival did not have the same advantage. His lips were thin and taught against the rest of his face.
”You are more beautiful than your father suggested,” he said, as Alexandra’s attention drew him to her. ”I cannot believe that it is so, but yet, I cannot deny what my eyes are showing me.”
Alexandra smiled tightly. ”It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she said politely, as she walked over to him and extended her hand.
He took it in his and lowered his lips to it. His kiss felt cold against her skin. She could feel a wet kind of slimy residue, as he pulled away and she tried not to grimace. He looked up to her and smiled. ”The pleasure I believe is all mine,” he straightened himself up and let go of her hand. ”Shall we set off promptly? We have a great deal of distance to cover if we are to arrive where I have planned.”
Alexandra nodded. ”I believe my horse should be ready.” They walked outside and Alexandra quickly scanned the faces of the small crowd that Percival had brought with him. Some of the faces she had seen at the ball, although she had no names to pair with them. This didn’t bother her though, what bothered her was the look on Gabriel’s face, when her eyes moved on to his. She stopped walking for a second, as she let the fact that he was there sink in.
She had told him that they couldn’t see each other again. She had said it only the night before, so it was unlikely that he had somehow forgotten about the agreement they had made. She took her eyes away from him quickly and tried to combat the burning feeling from her cheeks, which she knew would be turning them into a blushed red for everyone to see.
Belle was waiting for her next to the only other unmanned horse. She quickly climbed onto her back and waited for Percival to do the same. ”Your horse is quite handsome,” she said, when he’d settled himself in.
Percival shrugged off the compliment. ”I was told that he would be fast, which was what I required. I have no interest in whether my horse should enjoy its reflection.”
Alexandra tried to hide the frown from her face. She loved her horse Belle. She loved all the aspects of owning her, which included grooming her and ensuring that she looked her best. She had always believed that horses were majestic creatures, which she be treated with respect, not simply seen as a mode of transportati
on.
They had been riding for an hour or so, before Alexandra would allow herself to check behind her. She could feel Gabriel’s eyes on her the whole time, though, as though he was daring her to look at him. She wanted to look. She wanted to fall back from Percival, who had said nothing to her in the last hour, so she could talk with Gabriel, but she couldn’t. It wasn’t appropriate and Gabriel could not know about her desires. He was already so sure of himself. She couldn’t allow herself to get pulled into the blame about his obsession.
”The weather is perfect for riding,” she said in an attempt to make conversation with her future husband.
He turned to her with an impatient frown on his face, as though she had just disturbed him from his thoughts and he was anxious to get back to them. ”If you don’t mind, I prefer to ride in silence. It’s just a good time to think, if you understand me?”
Alexandra nodded. Her eyes glanced to the side of her and her cheeks blushed, when she realized that Gabriel had been steadily catching up with them. She turned her eyes back to the path in front of her. She needed to concentrate on where she was going, not only regarding the path, but her marriage too.
