by Jamie Zakian
A roar streamed from his lips as his fists slammed against the hood of his truck, denting metal. He turned and Vinny jumped back, holding his hands up.
“Please don’t murder me,” Vinny said.
“Are you happy now? You were right.”
“No, I wasn’t.”
Dez curled his fingers into fists. It was the only way to keep from grabbing his little brother’s neck and choking the life from it. “You said Tyler wasn’t even mine, that you had Sasha first and would have her last.”
“I was an asshole.” Vinny rushed forward, knowing full-well he was entering the strike zone. “Stupid blood letters don’t mean shit, not to Tyler. Not to me. You’re his dad. You can’t leave him. He’ll grow up alone, like I did.”
Dez slumped against his bumper. Tyler was his everything, his son. He changed a million diaper, held the boy all night when he was sick, kissed scrapes and made them better. That made Tyler his son.
“They’re taking him into surgery,” Vinny said, slowly placing his hand on Dez’s arm. “To remove his spleen. If you hurry, you can see him before he goes.”
“Sasha?”
Vinny pointed across the parking lot, to Otis chasing Sasha down the sidewalk.
“Let her go,” Dez said, heading back toward the hospital. “She’s the goddamn grim reaper of agony.”
***
Sasha
Sasha walked down the road, away from Otis and his stompy feet. She stopped at a payphone, dumped in a hand full of change, and dialed, waiting for a voice she knew she could trust.
“Fat Tonys,” Enzo said through the receiver, only he sounded different, shaky.
“179, e, n, Boston,” Sasha said, then hung up. She patted herself down, finding no gun, no smokes, even her zippo was gone. A lit cigarette drifted in front of her eyes, and she snatched it.
“Thanks.” Sasha glanced at the man beside her, seeing the Otis she remembered, not the new one that despised her.
“I talked to the paramedic. He’s a friend.” Otis took Sasha’s hand, dropping spent shells in her palm. “He said someone hit you with a dump truck, flipped your pickup. You fought them off while trying to stop Tyler’s bleeding.”
“I didn’t know someone was after me, I swear. I would’ve never come here. I wouldn’t have—”
Otis wrapped his arms around Sasha, triggering an onslaught of tears. She hurried to clutch onto him, just in case whatever drug he was on wore off and he went back to hating her.
“What was the call you made?”
Sasha drew back, taking a long drag of her cigarette. “Code. I gotta wait a few minutes for the capo to drive across town, then I’ll call the payphone on—”
A smirk lifted Otis’s lips, choking up Sasha’s words. It felt like ages since she’d seen the man’s smile. “What?”
Otis shook his head, leaning against the building. It didn’t look like he wanted to spill, and she was in no position to push him, not anymore.
“You got any quarters?” Sasha dumped the rest of her change into the phone along with most of Otis’s quarters. When the ring was replaced by her name, spoken in Enzo’s sharp tones, a sigh flew from her chest.
“I was hit,” she said, sharper than intended. “With an actual dump truck, by made men.”
“Shit, Sasha. I would’ve called, warned you, but we were hit too. AJ and his crew are gone, along with a bunch of other men.”
“AJ’s dead?” A stab tore into Sasha’s chest. She didn’t even like the guy, but he was family, and not just legit family but high up on the mafia chain.
“Who did this?” she asked with somewhat of a sneer.
“The Mancini family.”
“Mancini?” Sasha said. “Why does that sound so familiar?”
Otis let out a huff, tossing his cigarette to the street.
“They’re your family,” Enzo said, sending his bitter edge through the receiver. “Your mother’s people.”
Her mother had people? What a scary thought, more Ellen’s running around out there.
After a short pause, Enzo said, “Tony needs you back here. Now,” in an even shorter tone.
“I didn’t know my mother had people, Enzo. You gotta believe me.”
“No, Sasha. It’s not like that. We need you to track down these bastards. They’re your people.”
They were not her people. Her people sat in a building a block away, loathing her very existence.
“My kid’s in critical condition. They literally hit us with a dump truck.”
The line stayed silent. Apparently the boss’s son getting murdered trumped everyone else’s tragedies.
“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Sasha said with a huff. “Forty-eight hours, tops.”
“Be safe.”
“You too.” Sasha hung up the phone and grabbed the back of Otis’s jacket before he could sneak off.
“What do you know about the Mancinis?” Sasha asked.
Otis shook free from Sasha’s grip, continuing to walk away. “They’re dangerous.”
Sasha ran in front of Otis, which wasn’t an easy feat with her achy everything. “I’m serious. I plan on gutting every last one of those fuckers. I need to know about ‘em.”
The way Otis rocked in place, his eyes wavering, Sasha could tell he was about to clam up.
“They almost killed Tyler today,” Sasha said, watching the fire return to Otis’s glare. “What if they get it right next time?”
That was all Sasha had to say to sway Otis. It was apparent when the joint came out of his front pocket.
Otis pulled Sasha into an alley beside the hospital and sparked the bone. “Ellen’s mom ran a money laundering operation out of North Jersey. She started getting into some heavy shit, blackmailing, kidnapping, jury tampering. When they forced your mother to bomb a black church full of children, she ran off. That’s when I met her.”
The topic of family had always enraged Sasha’s mother, and now she understood why. The Mancinis sounded like demons, which would explain how so much evil was able to creep into Sasha’s soul. With Ellen gone, there was nobody left who held the amount of depravity necessary to match such a wicked force, except for her. “Where do I find them?”
“All I know is your mom grew up on a farm.”
“A fucking farm in Jersey.” Sasha snatched the joint from Otis, taking a big hit. “There’s as many of them as there is shit in this alley,” she said through a stream of smoke.
“Your mama had a lot of brothers. Everyone knows the name. They should be easy to find.” Otis stole the joint back, wagging his finger. “Don’t you try and do this alone.”
An entire pack of blood-thirsty Italians, probably holding pitchforks and torches, were waiting for Sasha to lead a good ole fashion lynching. “I won’t be alone.”
“I don’t mean your mobster friends,” Otis said, the bridge of his nose crinkling in disgust. “You need people you can trust.”
Sasha snickered. That was a good one. “All the people I trust don’t trust me anymore.”
“That’s the problem with burning bridges. You can’t get across them again.” Otis handed Sasha the joint, walking away. “You better run across the bridge you just set ablaze under Dez’s feet before you lose him forever.”
Solid advice, which Sasha was totally going to take after a few more hits on this joint.
Chapter Ten
Sasha didn’t make it into the hospital. Everyone was out front, standing in a cloud of cigarette smoke. It was weird to see from the outside. She was used to watching assholes race by from within that cloud. It felt like shit to be the asshole on the other side of it. They all stopped whispering and looked at her when she pierced their imaginary bubble. Each of their stares could be labeled: furious, torn, leery, hopeful, and confusion. They reminded Sasha of the seven dwarfs, except there were only six of them and they were more like six-foot tall raging truckers than dwarfs.
“How’s Tyler?” Sasha asked, once her mouth decided to cooperate
with her brain.
“He’s in surgery,” Vinny said. “We won’t know anything for a few hours.”
They all stared, waiting for Sasha to leave, so she backed away. Against her body’s wishes, she walked through the sliding glass doors and into the stench of disinfectant. It was a smell she’d hoped to never experience again. Her nightmares came with that reek. It’d cling to her hair for three showers but for Tyler, she’d soak in it.
A hand gripped onto Sasha’s arm, and she swung her fist. Dez caught her knuckles midair, the slap echoing down the hall.
“Fuck! I’m sorry,” she muttered, pulling back.
Dez lunged forward, and Sasha flinched. He didn’t strangle her this time. This time, Dez held her softly. He caressed her battered body instead of trying to quash the life from it. If he picked her up and carried her to her old room, to her old bed, it’d be a dream come true.
Reality flooded in the moment Dez pulled away, letting all the pain of her throbbing muscles and agony of her vile mind return.
“Thanks,” Dez slid his arm around Sasha’s waist, gentle, tender, “for protecting our son.”
Sasha fell against Dez, feeding off his energy as they walked to the waiting room.
***
Dez
Dez drummed his fingers against his leg. The whole setup of a hospital was bullshit. It was almost 1990 for Christ’s sake yet he was expected to sit in a room, jumping at every white coat that walked by. They should have monitors in here. He should be allowed to see what was happening to his kid every second he was away from his kid’s side. The world was headed into a downward spiral, and it all started with the barbaric system they were running ‘round here.
“What time is it?” Dez asked, shifting in his stiff chair.
“Five minutes later than the last time you asked,” Vinny said, tossing a magazine on the table.
“It’s been three hours!” Dez slammed his fist against the armrest, and Sasha jolted up in her chair. Now, on top of being on edge, he felt like a total ass. He’d been trying to keep quiet so she could sleep but fuck, it’d been three hours.
“What happened?” Sasha asked, sitting up.
“Dez was announcing the time,” Kev said from the corner. “Again.”
Sasha rubbed her eyes, looking at the clock. “Fuck! It’s been three hours.”
A tiny groan seeped from her lips as she turned, staring into the hall. Dez grinned. Finally, someone was getting it.
“You need anything, Sasha?” Kev asked, pulling Sasha’s gaze back to the tiny depressing room.
“Stop kissing her ass,” Otis grumbled.
Kev dropped into a chair, crossing his arms. “Can you not see how fucked up her face is?”
“Thanks,” Sasha groaned. “You look like a pile of fucking sunshine.”
“That’s not what I meant. Just, never mind. Fuck it.”
“You’re my wife.” Dez covered his mouth. He wasn’t trying to lay that down, but the sparkle in Sasha’s eyes forced it out of him.
Sasha sat up straight, a half-smile lifting her swollen cheeks. “What’s that now?”
“We were gonna lose the holler,” Dez said, staring into Sasha’s eyes even though everyone else looked away. “Ellen was gone, you were in a coma, and Dante was trying to put the property in probate.” Sasha cringed at the word Dante, which made Dez want to beat the man’s face in even more than before. “I bribed a priest to sign a marriage certificate, and Vinny fucked the county clerk so she’d backlog it a week before your…accident.”
Vinny squirmed in his seat, elbowing Dez.
“It was my idea,” Otis said, the only person in the room who seemed to be enjoying himself.
Sasha lowered her head into her hands, and Dez leaned forward in his chair. She was grinning. It was hidden behind her hair, but he could see it.
“We were married before Tyler was born?” Sasha asked, staring into Dez’s eyes. “On paper?”
“Yeah.” He wished Sasha was sitting next to him, so he could hold her hand, feel her skin radiate warmth against his own. “We can…undo the whole thing, now that you’re awake.”
“We did consummate it,” Sasha said softly, a smile spreading across her split lips. “In my motel room.”
Dez didn’t think that gleam would ever shine in her eyes again, didn’t expect lust to burn. Not after what happened to her, but the lust was there, and it was for him. He’d walk across the room, curl into the chair next to her, but the doctor was headed their way.
Before a white coat could brush the doorway, Dez was on his feet. The doctor stepped into the waiting room, holding a blank stare. Dez couldn’t tell if it was time to celebrate or wreck shit.
“Tyler pulled through like a champ,” the doctor said, flashing a grin at the hoot that streamed from Kev’s mouth. “Barring any unforeseen circumstances, I think he’ll be just fine. He’s awake now, asking for his daddy.”
Although Dez wanted to run down the hall calling out Tyler’s name, his legs were locked tight. Tyler had to be asking for him. His boy couldn’t possibly know the truth. Dez glanced at Vinny, and a spike jammed into his heart. Tyler had to be too young to understand, he just had to be.
“Go, man,” Vinny said, pushing Dez toward the door.
Sasha wormed away, and Dez grabbed her hand. “Come on, stupid,” he said through a grin. Her fingers slid between his as they followed the doctor into the hallway.
***
Sasha
Sasha circled the bed, scanning Tyler over. He looked so weak, fragile. She cataloged every scratch, didn’t miss a single mark on his tiny body. The fuckers who did this to him would get it all back, and then some.
“You weren’t careful, Mommy,” Tyler muttered. His sleepy eyes scolded her, forcing a laugh from Sasha’s chest.
“I’m so sorry, little dude.” She leaned over the bed’s rail, kissing the only spot on Tyler’s forehead without a bruise.
Dez lowered the bedrail, kneeling at Tyler’s side. “How do you feel?”
“My tummy hurts.”
The sad little declaration struck Sasha like a fist. She staggered back, fighting the urge to flee. Other than giving the kid a shot of whiskey, she had no idea how to comfort his pain. She’d run and get a doctor or nurse but a fuckload of them already littered the room, watching Tyler whimper just like her useless ass.
“It’s okay, buddy.” Dez kissed the top of Tyler’s head, wrapping his strong arms around the boy. Tyler scooted as close as he could get to Dez, latching on. Sasha knew exactly what her son was after. She’d felt Dez’s soft lips kiss her cheek and melt the pain away. The man emitted safety in a way she was never capable. Of course the kid went straight for it.
It only took one big hug and a few minutes of a story about a sleeping princess for snores to replace Tyler’s groans.
“He’s been sedated,” a nurse said, adjusting Tyler’s IV. “He’ll be out cold for at least four hours.” The nurse stopped fiddling with a machine to shoot Sasha a sideways glare. “You might want to clean up, get a change of clothes.”
Sasha looked down at her shirt and pants, cringing. What wasn’t torn was stained in deep red. It didn’t seem appropriate to fuss over her outfit at a time like this. The bloody tatters actually fit with her mood quite well, but she didn’t want to scare the kid. At least, not any more than she already had.
“I’m gonna run to the motel, get washed up.” Sasha patted Tyler’s hand, backing toward the door. She would’ve kissed Dez, but the way he’d embraced that little boy created an impenetrable field of safety around the two of them, and she couldn’t risk breaking it.
“I will be back,” Sasha said from the doorway.
For the first time since entering the room, Dez looked away from Tyler. “We’ll see.”
“We will,” Sasha said, walking out the door. Vinny rushed down the hall the instant he saw her, followed by Otis and Kev.
“Well?” Vinny asked, practically shouting.
They cro
wded Sasha, crowded the entire hallway without giving a fuck.
“He fell asleep, drugs and shit, but he looks all right.” Sasha gestured to a group of nurses who were gathered around a large desk, whispering and gawking. “I think I’m freaking ‘em out.”
“You got, like, a gallon of dried blood in your hair,” Vinny said, tugging the end of a near dreadlocked strand.
“And streaks all down your neck,” Kev added, not that Sasha needed his two cents.
“Listen,” she glanced around, making sure no Italians lurked in the halls, “I’m going to my motel room to clean up. If I’m not back in forty minutes, something bad happened to me.” She had to make sure they knew that, since her track record stated otherwise. Before she got to the front door, Vinny ran beside her.
“I’ll take you home,” he said, following Sasha out the wide sliding glass door. “You can shower there.”
Home with Vinny sounded amazing. She had to jump on this offer, before it got rescinded. “Thanks.”
Vinny handed Sasha a lit cigarette once their feet hit the sidewalk. For just a second, while breathing in pine-scented air, staring up at stars she could actually see, she felt like herself. She could be that girl again. Her son deserved a vicious, killing-machine of a mother. She’d had one, and it did wonders for her personality.
“We saw your truck on the way over here,” Vinny said as they walked across the parking lot.
“Oh yeah. Did you see my weed, because that was in there?”
“No,” Vinny said through a chuckle. “I got a joint in my ashtray.”
That bit of info helped Sasha move her achy legs faster.
“When I saw your truck all smashed up, on its roof, I thought I lost you forever. I thought I lost both of you.”
It was the moment she’d been waiting for, his forgiveness. It should’ve brought relief, not self-loathing. She hadn’t earned shit, just capitalized on the chaos that followed her.
