by Leela Ash
Now, they were having a glass of Layne's home-brewed beer and snacking on the fresh peaches that were growing in the small orchard near the house. The season was almost over and winter was coming quickly. It wasn't a safe time to be on the road and they'd been doing their best to stock up for the winter. They were both well adept at surviving in harsh climates, but because most of the tribes had headed south believing it was much easier to survive in warmer climates, they had followed suit. It made sense; survival was hard enough without having to worry about winter.
“Jonathan spoke fondly of you. He was sure you'd make it out of the tribes. But just in case, he asked me to look for you in Hex and recruit you to our community. Thought if I knew him, you'd be more likely to come.”
“Why didn't he come back for me himself?” Jax asked, his eyes narrowing in confusion.
“As I said, he's a wanderer,” Al said. “He was sure there was a better place; called it a gut instinct. Never seemed to want to slow down or stop moving. We heard rumors about an area that the government was building for their own shelter; an underground city to protect them from the virus. He thought there might be supplies there and got a few guys to head out with him. We haven't seen him since then, though. One of the men with him made his way back, saying they got separated after a violent attack. He doesn't know what happened to your brother.”
“Do you know which way the underground city was?” Jax asked, standing up at the table. Layne's heart thudded. Was he thinking of going right that moment?
“Somewhere to the west of our community,” Al replied, glancing out the window. “Thank you guys for all your hospitality. I should probably get back out on the road before it gets too late. I should have made it down to the borderlines by the end of the day. I have people waiting to meet me, somewhere between the Jackals and the Klaws. They have glasses lenses there.”
“Oh, good,” Layne said, relieved. She would have worried about him otherwise.
“Hey, if you go after your brother, be careful, okay? There are a lot of difficult trails, and winter is coming. I wouldn't leave such a comfortable establishment. Someone might take it over while you're away.”
Layne sighed miserably at the thought of all her hard work going to waste. Still, she knew that there would be no stopping Jax from looking for his brother now. There was a hard gleam in his eyes, and he was fidgeting restlessly, unable to finish any more food.
“Good luck on your travels,” Layne said. “Be sure to fill your water bottle before you go.”
“Thank you,” Al said, nodding gratefully. “If you don't mind a visitor, I may stop by on the way back.”
“Sure, we'd love to see how you're doing,” Layne said.
“Yes, but if you have recruited anybody and they're joining you, maybe you shouldn't let them know about us. We want this settlement to be free of encroachment whenever possible. I'm sure you understand. You can't necessarily trust anyone from a tribe.”
“Of course,” Al said. “Hey, why don't you let me show you the way back to our community when I return?”
Jax's heart filled with excitement at the thought of being the last place his brother had been. It would take him one step closer to his only remaining family. He had to go.
“How long will it be?” he asked.
“Who knows,” Al said, shaking his head. “I have a long way to go. And I was told to make a trail so any other recruits will know which way to wander should they choose to head to a better civilization and escape the warfare between the tribes.”
“A path?” Jax asked, suddenly very interested.
“Yes,” Al replied. “I tear a piece of bark on the north side of trees in the shape of an ‘L’.”
“So that will lead to your community?" Jax asked.
“Yup,” Al replied.
“He might not be here when you get back," Layne said, laughing nervously.
Jax glanced over at her and pursed his lips but said nothing. How could he leave their homestead? And with winter coming it would be dangerous for Layne to come with him. Winter survival was hard enough for one person, although it would be nice to have the extra body heat to share. But if Jonathan was in trouble, he knew that he would have to get out there to look for him soon.
“How long has it been since you saw my brother?" Jax asked, walking Al to the door.
“Oh, it's probably been two weeks by now," Al said looking up at the ceiling thoughtfully.
“Only two weeks?" Jax asked, his heart thudding. This was his chance to find Jonathan, finally, after all this time. “Do you think he's in trouble or do you think he just took off on his own? You don't seem too worried."
“It doesn't do me any good to worry about anything," Al said wisely, his face serious. "Although, I have to admit that I am concerned for your brother. When he didn't come back with Roger it made me wonder. Me and everybody else. When the group was under attack, Roger just ran for his life. The other two stayed behind. It's impossible to tell what happened from there, but maybe they found the underground city after all and have come back with supplies to the community by now.”
As they say goodbye to Al, Layne put her hand on Jax's shoulder, and Jax looked down at her, his face perturbed.
“What are we going to do?” she asked.
Suddenly, his love for this woman overwhelmed him. She didn't ask what he was going to do, she asked what they were going to do. If he was going to go out and look for his brother, she had every intention of going out with him. She didn't think twice; she didn't want to leave him alone in the dangerous wilderness.
But if they both went, they would be sacrificing the only security that they had ever known. At least, the only real security and freedom they'd had since the virus hit and everybody had been wiped out. The domestic life had been comfortable, almost so comfortable that neither of them seemed to be able to remember the realities of the outside world, and didn't let the memories come in and disturb them. But now that Jax had a clue about where Jonathan was, that was going to change everything.
Chapter 3
That night Jax tossed and turned. He couldn't figure out how to make it work. The best solution he could think of was to have Layne stay at their homestead and tend to the garden so that they would have food security by the time he came back. If he could bring Jonathan home with him, he wanted to have a good and solid presentable home to bring him to. He wanted his brother to be proud of him; to see that he was able to survive on his own. And not just survive, but flourish.
And he was very proud of the homestead, just as he was proud of Layne. She was unbelievably beautiful and competent and smart, too. And he was sure that Layne was proud of him. Jax was rippling with muscles and raw strength that would make survival very difficult, almost impossible without it. Layne had built some muscle herself, and her lean body was tight with athletic ability all her own. He couldn't get enough of her body and she couldn't get enough of his. He couldn't possibly fathom leaving her for even a day, let alone the entire time it would take him to travel to Al's community alone and however long it might take for him to safely search for his brother. He wished that he had asked Al how far away his community was. He'd lacked the presence of mind though, and sighed loudly into the dark, quiet bedroom.
Layne was roused from her sleep and turned over onto her side, her clear, almond shaped eyes peering at him through her dark lashes. She propped her head up on her elbow and touched his cheek gently. Jax almost cried then, it would've been easy. Layne could make him feel so vulnerable. Or maybe he felt vulnerable all the time and he just felt safe showing it with her.
“I know you need to find your brother.”
“I can't possibly ask you to give up everything that you've worked so hard for. It wouldn't be fair to you. Just to find my stupid brother. That isn't right. Before we met, this is all you wanted.”
“Before we met, all you wanted was to find your brother. What kind of a horrible person would I be to hold you back from doing that? I'm not going t
o do that. I'm not going to stop you. In fact, I could go with you and do my best to help."
“I would never ask you to do that. It's way too dangerous. I don't want anything to happen to you. It's going to be winter soon, and you know how hard it is in the wintertime. I need you to stay here and take care of things for me. It's much better for you if you were able to do this. I don't think anybody would bother you, most of them are never up this far north during the winter. I don't know why Al would bother going on a recruiting mission this late in the season. Most people would think he's crazy."
“Maybe he is crazy," Layne said thoughtfully. “Or maybe he's actually a double agent, working for the Jackals. Everybody at Hex knew about your brother, didn't they? It wouldn't be surprising if they would have found someone that good at manipulation to get you back for killing those two disgusting Jackal guys when we first met. What if it's a trap? Maybe they want us to leave the homestead vulnerable or maybe they want to lead you in the wrong direction and get you back to make you pay for what you did to those guys.”
“I don't think even the Jackals would miss Orson and Buggy very much,” Jax said, raising his eyebrow and making Layne laugh.
“Who knows," Layne said with a shrug. “I just want you to be careful and keep an open mind to every possibility.”
“Yeah...” Jax said, running his strong hand down Layne's delicate shoulder. She was sleeping in a silk nightie that she had found in the cabin's closet. When she had surprised him with it, he had forgotten that lingerie existed and nearly cried out loud in an unexpected rush of longing. Now it was hard to keep his hands off of her any time he saw her wearing it; its thin lacy straps hanging loosely over her sun-kissed shoulders.
She closed her eyes in sleepy appreciation of his touch and inhaled silently as his fingers roamed down the contours of her body and grazed the sensitive, firm mound of her nipple. A look of bliss creased her face as he stroked it with his broad thumb, and he swiftly lifted her on top of him so that her long, light brown hair tickled his bare abdomen.
He had taken to sleeping in boxers, and sighed in pleasure as Layne's hot middle settled on top of his. He could feel that she was wet already and swallowed hard, instantly aroused. She gently pulled the silk nightie off, revealing her perfect naked body gleaming silver in the moonlight. Her hands moved up and down his muscular torso, finding their way under the waistline of his boxers and touching every erogenous part of his body. She licked and nibbled his neck, her hands roaming and squeezing, until he was so engorged with longing that he sat up and spun her to the mattress, spreading her legs wide open with his hands and making her gasp in surprise as the sensitive head of his penis found its way between her legs.
He took a few moments to stimulate her clit, rubbing it gently with expert thrusts of his hips. He went tantalizingly slowly, until she was panting softly against his bicep, writhing against him and silently begging for more. He was more than ready to oblige her and plunged in, bringing a low moan from her lips that aroused him more than anything – even her nightie – ever could.
Layne wrapped her arms around his neck, her breasts bobbing with the rhythm of his hips as they thrust into her, her hard nipples scraping against his chest. She sighed into his ear and he brought his hands up and down her torso, gripping her breasts in both hands, lowering his hot lips onto one and kneading the other gently. She hissed in pleasure as his tongue flicked her, buckling her hips against him and riding on the waves of her pleasure until her body tensed up. Jax knew what this meant and began to thrust faster, elevating his own pleasure as her climax began, the hot muscles inside of her squeezing him blissfully as their bodies rammed against each other.
He waited until he saw the tense look on her face relax in the light of her orgasm before he allowed himself to unleash the fury of his load inside of her, and they panted together as he pulled out and scooped her up in his strong arms, laying her comfortably on the pillow, curled into him. He had all he could ever want right here in this room, and they fell asleep together, saving all the serious talk about Jonathan for tomorrow.
Chapter 4
The next day Jax slept in. He must have been tired, worn out and dejected over the situation with his brother. Layne woke up before him, knowing that what was going on with Jonathan was very important. If he was in trouble out in the wilderness, it would be time sensitive and if they didn't reach them soon, he could die. She was reluctant to leave the little dwelling where they had begun to make a life for themselves. She would have preferred to go out with him to look for Jonathan, but Jax didn't want to give it up either.
And so she set to work putting together a bag of rations. She packed up one of the sturdy rucksacks with the supplies she thought he might need. Long thermal underwear that they had found in the cabin, a heavy coat and two changes of clothes. A compass and several ways to create fire, including matches and flint and steel. His thermos and her water bottle. She wouldn't be needing it if she was staying at the cabin, and his chances of survival were twice as good that way. Several pairs of socks. A note she wrote to him for him to find when he was quiet and alone, missing her and their little home.
She was terrified that something might happen to him and remembered why she had grown reluctant to get close to other people to begin with. There was no guarantee that they would stick around for the long haul, and all she really knew was that she had herself. It was impossible to determine how long another person might stay in her life and, whether they left by choice or through death, the fact remained that she would never truly be able to tell and that was terrifying. She didn't want to be abandoned, but ultimately, that was what happened. And she was starting to feel abandoned now.
It was silly, because he hadn't even left her yet, and Jax was one of the most capable people she had ever met in her life. That was probably the only reason she wasn't insisting with all her heart and soul to aid him in the journey. She was more afraid that she would be a burden than a blessing on a journey this important to him, and something inside her knew that it would be best to stay put. She wasn't sure why, but that was the overall feeling that she had about it.
As Jax began to stir, she hardened herself to the reality. He was going to go out alone and she had to make sure he felt like it was okay. She couldn't have him abandoning his goal or needlessly risking his life – or hers – just because she would miss him for a little while. She had to believe that he would be back and he would have closure about what happened to his brother. Nothing bad would happen to him – at least… probably not. And she had to pretend that she was okay with being left alone to fend for herself and to protect their little home.
Jax was still naked when he walked out of the bedroom and she took in the beautiful sight of his body with an aching heart. She couldn't imagine waking up alone without seeing his face or having the chance to touch him any time she felt like it. That thought was terrifying, especially not knowing if he would ever be back. She knew she had to trust in the greater good, and resolved to keep herself strong as Jax slipped from the doorway to her side, looking from her to the bag in confusion.
She knew that the decision had been stressing him out and so she had decided to act for herself so he wouldn't have to worry about it any longer. She would just have to give him her blessing and hope that it worked out for the best.
“What's all this?" he asked.
“I packed a bag for you. You can add anything you want. I already made a list of what's in there so you won't have to unpack it. I figured it would save you some time.”
“Wow. I don't know what to say,” he said, grimacing. It was clear that he was reluctant to leave the warmth of their home, but what choice did he have? “Thank you. I guess the sooner I leave the sooner I'll be back. Or maybe we.”
“Yeah,” she said, smiling through her pain. He noticed that her happiness wasn't sincere and he frowned.
“Would you be all right if I brought Jonathan back here with me?” he asked, walking to the closet in search o
f clean clothes to dress.
“Of course,” she whispered, laughing through her tears. They had been threatening to spill over all morning, and now they were falling down her cheeks, leaving her vulnerable and broken for the first time since they'd met. Jax rushed across the room and scooped her up in his strong arms, and she allowed herself to sob against him, gripping him tightly.
All that time she had been alone. She'd fooled herself into thinking that it was okay, that it was what she wanted. But the reality was that she had been so lonely; had needed to trust and love someone else so badly. And then she'd found Jax, and now he was leaving into the dangerous world they'd worked so hard to survive in and find a way out of. She wasn't sure if she would be able to make it.
“It's going to be all right,” Jax promised. “You'll see. It probably won't be any longer than a couple of weeks. I'll go fast. Maybe find a bike to fix up to make it go faster. I promise, if I see one I will.”
“If you do, keep your eyes open,” she said miserably against his shoulder. The bikes were sometimes more dangerous than being on foot. She felt him nod and groaned. She hated goodbyes. Even before the virus hit, they'd felt far too formal, like a looming threat of finality. Now, after the virus, every goodbye seemed eternal.
“I'm not going to be gone forever,” he said, as if he were able to read her thoughts. He pressed her against his body, kissing her sweet, rose scented hair. The chemist in her had been clever enough to use the rose petals from the bushes outside the cabin in a hair rinse that she'd mixed herself, and she always managed to smell intoxicating to him. He couldn't believe he was doing this. How could he leave someone who meant everything to him?
“It's just that...” she broke down, unable to finish her thought. She didn't know how.
“It's all right,” he soothed her. “I know.”
